Life with Dickie
by cacti cactus
Summary: What if Stephanie never caught Dickie on the table with Joyce? An AU version of the Stephanie Plum series, following along and seeing what the series would have looked like if Stephanie was still with Dickie. (Obviously fanfiction with characters belonging to Janet Evanovich, no original characters) Eventual Babe HEA. Cupcake friendly.
1. Turning 30

My name is Stephanie Plum and tonight is my thirtieth birthday party. I wasn't sure a few months ago how much I'd have to celebrate – I mean looking on the bright side I no longer have to catch the train to work and I get to sleep in. The downside is that I was made redundant from my job as a lingerie buyer, and I no longer have a job.

Luckily my husband Dickie just got promoted at his job, and being a lawyer who works long hours makes enough money that we don't have to worry financially too much.

He encouraged me to take a break from work, relax at home. Secretly I think he was just hoping that I'd do his ironing for him, clean this overly gigantic townhouse that he insisted on buying and turn into a housewife inspired by my mother. No thanks. Instead I took all the ideas I had as a lingerie buyer that the company thought wouldn't be successful, and turned them into Plum Lingerie.

To kick off, I'm starting with a line of maternity lingerie – Plum Blossoms. My best friend Mary Lou told me enough times during her pregnancies how uncomfortable her maternity wear was, and how hard it was to find something to feel good in. So that was first on my list. Mary Lou's mother's group members were the testers for my prototypes (thank goodness Mary Lou has access to a supply of women who need maternity wear because that's not my scene) and feedback has been positive. So we're about ready to launch.

I've been working hard on this for the past few months and it's been taking up all my time. I guess it's lucky then that Dickie works so much, so he's hardly ever home to notice that this is a more than fulltime job. As long as there's food in the fridge when he comes in, he's happy (luckily there's a great deli nearby that sells pre-made meals – saves on time and cleaning, and also I don't set anything on fire or explode mashed potatoes into the ceiling, and hey, did you know that if you leave a pot on long enough it is possible to set water on fire?).

Tonight though is going to be a different – I'm taking a night off. My parents wanted to have dinner for my birthday. I suggested going out to a restaurant but my mother acted like I'd suggested we eat poison. So dinner at home it is, but with Mary Lou coming too. She's excited because she gets to leave the house without any children. She's been planning her outfit for a week even though she's only going two streets over from her house.

Dinner party guests (besides the guest of honour) include my mom, dad, Grandma Mazur (she's been living with my parents and driving my dad insane since Grandpa Mazur died two years ago), Mary Lou, and Dickie.

Dinner starts promptly at six, as always, and I've reminded Dickie a million times not to be late. He was due home ten minutes ago and I'm starting to think I've been stood up.

My phone rang. Dickie.

"Steph, I'm sorry," he started.

"Oh no. But it's my birthday."

"I know, honey, but it's a crisis meeting. I can't get out of it. I tried, really."

"My birthday!"

"I'm sorry, Steph. I'll try to make it for dessert, okay? Then you and I can celebrate later at home."

I hung up. He might be really sorry but he's done this too many times already. And now I'm in danger of being late! The pot roast will be ruined. At least since it's my birthday I'm guaranteed cake.

I made it across town just before six pm and had just enough time to say hello to Grandma and Mom and pour myself a glass of wine before the doorbell rang.

Mary Lou was bouncing when I open the door. She could barely contain herself.

"Steph! You'll never believe what Lenny told me! He found out from Eddie Gazzara when he stopped by his work." She paused for emphasis.

"Spit it out!"

"Joseph Morelli has gone FTA."

"FTA? What's that mean?"

"It means he didn't show up for his court date! They're sending bounty hunters after him! If he doesn't show up to court soon, your cousin Vinnie is out the bond, and he has to try it and get the money off Mrs Morelli. I heard she put her house up as collateral!"

What a happy day. Not only is Joseph Morelli in imminent danger of going to jail, but my cousin Vinnie is going to be out money over it. Vinnie is awful so I couldn't feel bad for him. I'd feel slightly bad for Mrs Morelli except that I doubted Vinnie would ever get the courage up to take her house. Poor Vinnie, stuck between the Morelli Clan and his father-in-law, Harry the Hammer. I don't know which was one scarier. Harry could make Vinnie disappear, but that would make his daughter Lucille unhappy so he probably wouldn't do that. Joe's Grandma Bella would put The Eye on Vinnie if he tried anything to get his money back. Her powers were legendary.

Grandma Mazur appeared. "Where are you girls doing lurking in the doorway?" she asked. "Come in, Mary Lou, sit down, we've got a few minutes until dinner is ready. Now, what were you girls talking about? Bedroom stories? I've got a few of those I could share."

"No Grandma," I said quickly, before she could share. "We were talking about Joseph Morelli.

Grandma's eyes lit up. "Isn't that a pip of a thing?" she said. "And your cousin Vinnie's bounty hunter Morty Byers had to get his appendix out, so he can't go after Joseph. Vinnie might actually have to get out of his office and do some work."

Grandma gestured us towards the table and poured some wine. "Now, Stephanie, where's this husband of yours? Dinner's almost ready and your mother doesn't deal well with late guests."

"He can't make it, Grandma, he's got to work late."

"On your birthday? That man is a horse's patootie."

I was saved from another round of "Your husband is a horse's patootie just like your grandfather, God rest his soul, said before he passed away". It's a popular topic at dinner. No wonder Dickie stays away.

"Dinner's ready!"

Saved. No one would dare hold up dinner. Everyone quickly settled into their places as my mother brought out the food, my father appearing from the safety of the den and sliding into his chair at the last second.

"Happy birthday, pumpkin, hello Mary Lou", he said as he sat down.

"Hello Mr Plum, Mrs Plum, thank you for inviting me for dinner," Mary Lou said, showing that you're never too old to show off that your mother instilled manners into you. Especially in The Burg.

"Mary Lou, how are all your boys? Your mother must be thrilled to have so many grandchildren nearby," my mother said. I wasn't sure if that was a dig at me for not providing any grandchildren, or at Valerie for moving so far away. Let's put that one down to Valerie.

The pot roast was excellent, the mashed potatoes and gravy perfection, and the cake was pineapple upside down cake, my favourite. Mary Lou and I both left loaded down with containers. Her phone started beeping as we got to our cars and she pulled it out to check her messages.

"Oh no, Kenny's started vomiting. I've got to go home and help Lenny out with the kids. I'm so sorry, Steph, I was going to suggest that we go out for a drink."

"It's okay, Mare. Really. We'll catch up for a drink soon and do a girls night out. I'm too full from dinner to go out now anyway, I'm going to go home and hit the couch."

I hopped into my car and headed home, thinking that at least I wasn't going home to deal with vomit. It's the small things that make life brighter.


	2. Chapter 2 - The start of Plum Lingerie

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for the reviews. They're so nice to read. I forgot to mention earlier that this story is set in present times – it's been 20 years since the series began so I figured Stephanie deserved a bit of an upgrade from pagers and fax machines to current technology.

Ghostbusters was halfway over by the time I heard the garage door going up and Dickie's car driving in. I was on the couch with the leftover cake. I'd saved some for breakfast tomorrow morning though – I wasn't sure whether leftover pizza or leftover cake made for a better breakfast.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm so sorry about dinner," he said, kissing my head as he walked past. "Any leftovers?"

"Yes, and I'll share with you, but the cake is all mine," I warned him.

"I'm just going to shower, then you can tell me about dinner," he said, disappearing upstairs. He reappeared in 10 minutes, freshly showered, and headed into the kitchen to heat up his dinner.

Dickie worked for the District Attorney and often worked long hours. It was all part of his ten year plan, he told me. We'd been married for six years already, but I wasn't exactly sure on when that ten years had started from. Dickie had big ambitions. He wanted to someday move into politics and he said that working for the District Attorney was Step One. I wasn't ambitious but I guess he must have rubbed off on me a little since I was taking a chance on starting my own company.

"So, what exciting Plum madness did I miss?" he asked me.

"Well, let's see – Valerie and the girls called, but there's no madness there, they're perfect as always. It was just after school in California, so Super Steve was still at work – although I think he's a workaholic like someone else I could mention," I said, stopping to give Dickie a pointed look. "Mary Lou and I were going to go for a drink but Kenny started vomiting, so she had to go home, and ooh, Joe Morelli didn't show up for court so now Vinnie has to send his bounty hunter after him except Morty Byers has appendicitis, so Vinnie has to come up with Plan B and I think Joe's Grandma Bella might put The Eye on Vinnie if he tries to take their house away. She might make Vinnie's Mr Happy fall off."

Dickie and I both paused to shudder at the visual image. I was sorry that I'd brought it up. No one should be picturing Vinnie's Mr Happy. Dickie didn't know about my past with Morelli – either the garage or the bakery – since I didn't think that either experience was really worth talking about but knew about Joe from the Burg updates my mother would give at dinner. Little Joey Morelli, a Morelli made good and then maybe not so good, and now an FTA and causing trouble for Vinnie.

Dickie finished eating and put his arm around me and we finished watching Ghostbusters together. It wasn't the most exciting birthday celebration, but it could have been worse. I thought of Mary Lou, who went home to deal with vomit. And Joe, who was on the run, wanted for murder. At least my life was better than that.

Three days later I was over at Mary Lou's house. The four year old was at his grandparents, the toddler was emptying the drawers under the TV cabinet and we were drinking coffee. Mary Lou had not yet activated her Burg housewife genes, or maybe it was her destructo toddler who stopped her from achieving perfection. I love Mikey – he was my Godson – but he tired me out after 15 minutes and the only way to keep him quiet was to give him something to destroy. I wasn't sure how Mare did it.

Mary Lou worked part time as a bookkeeper, and we usually met up for lunch on her work days, but today we were discussing the launch of my new product range and needed a bit more time than a quick lunch break. Mary Lou had a good eye for numbers and was great at keeping me on track.

"Okay, so show me where you're up to," Mary Lou said, putting her hand out for my spreadsheets. I heard a crash from the living room and turned to look. "Don't worry, he's just tipped out a tub of Lego. It'll keep him occupied for a while spreading it around and it's easy enough to clean up," she told me.

I handed the spreadsheets over. The website was ready to be launched, and I was working on the final copy of our Facebook page. I'd gotten the final samples from the manufacturer in China, and now needed to approve the samples and work out how many to order. Back in the day I would have been able to get the lingerie made in Trenton, but there weren't any local manufacturers anymore, so I had to go overseas.

"These colours are amazing, Steph, they look even better in person," Mary Lou told me.

"Do you think they're okay? Are they too much?" I asked. My first instincts was to go for bright and colourful patterns. There was already a market full of flesh tone and muted maternity wear, I wanted to go for something different.

"No way. Being pregnant can be the most unglamorous time of your life. Prints like this will brighten up anyone's day," Mary Lou said, holding up a purple leopard print bra. I figured that one would be popular in Jersey. Valerie had flagged a muted sky blue one with a slight shimmer as her favourite. I was starting off with three different colours to begin with. The third was a bright pink with small black love hearts on it. They had a multitude of clips and straps and buckles to make them as customisable and comfortable as possible, and had survived the testing process of Mary Lou's mother's group.

The first samples I produced that been painstakingly sewn by me, after I borrowed my mother's sewing machine. I knew what ideas I wanted, but putting them together took longer than I'd thought. I was glad to hand them over to the manufacturer for sample production. Luckily I had contacts from my time working for E. E. Martin, and since E. E. Martin has been shut down, there were no issues with them working with me.

"Okay, Steph. Time to decide how many you need to order," Mary Lou said, looking at the spreadsheet. Eek, time to make the big decision!

There was another crash from the lounge room. Mare looked thoughtful. "Maybe you should go play with your Godson while I look over these numbers some more."

Done deal. I hated numbers. I barely scraped through the accounting subjects when I did my business degree.

When I got home my cleaner had visited. I loved Ella. She kept my house nice and she even left a plate of cookies out for me every week. She was also interested in my business ideas and kept asking me for updates – more than my parents did. She'd told me that she'd started cleaning as a way of keeping busy after her children had all left home, and was trying to build up her business. She'd baked me cakes when I found out about the redundancy from my job, and she even claimed to enjoy ironing. I enjoyed her Monday visits, both for the cleaning and for the company.

It was still early, so I headed upstairs to my office and to look over the numbers that Mary Lou and I had agreed on. It was daunting. This was the final step that I needed to take to get my business up and running – all my months of work had come down to this moment. I took a deep breath and emailed my manufacturer, confirming the quantities of the order. Then I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine to go along with my cookie from Ella. Two cookies. Three. I reluctantly put the cookies in the cupboard and went back upstairs to my office. I was putting the final touches on our website so we could do a pre-launch while we were waiting for our stock to arrive. Well, I say we, but I guess it was just me. It felt like a group effort though, with Mary Lou and Valerie involved. Val and I hadn't been that close since she left for college and then moved across the country with Super Steve, but she was really interested in my business and was always messaging me requesting updates and encouraging me.

While I was thinking of Val, I sent her a quick email telling her that I'd done the official order, and including some of the text for the website to see what she thought. I really wanted Plum Lingerie to be a success.

Dickie surprised me by coming home from work early (or was it on time for once which now feels like early?), and I told him that Mary Lou and I had decided on the first order and I'd sent it through.

"Congratulations, Steph! That's so exciting. Let's go out to dinner to celebrate," he said.

We went to a local Italian restaurant and after we'd ordered I updated him on where Plum Lingerie was up to.

"So look out for boxes in the garage in about a month," I warned him. "The cars might have to live on the drive for a while."

"Duly noted. And now I have an announcement too – it's time to move on to Step Two. I've been offered a position at Kreiner and Kreiner. What do you think?"

"Wow, Dickie. That's great. Are you sure you want to leave the DA Office?" I asked him.

"I think it's time. And it's more money. Lots more. I had a meeting with them today to discuss it – I get a big corner office, more money, a parking space and an assistant. It's an awesome offer. I made sure to look like this," he paused, to show me his "humble" look, "and then said that I'd have to talk it over with you."

Dickie liked to practise his looks in the mirror so he'd have the right facial expression to pull out at the right time. Humble. Surprised. Shocked! Saddened. I'd laughed my ass off the first time that I caught him doing it.

"You know that I'd support you in whatever you decide to do," I told him.

"Yeah, I know, but saying that I was going to ask your opinion makes me look better to them," he said. I rolled my eyes. You know, there was times when my husband really did live up to his name.

Two weeks later, on the same day that Mary Lou called to say that Joe Morelli had managed to clear his name and wasn't a murder suspect anymore, I hit the publish button to make the Plum Lingerie website and Facebook page go live. Then I waited and refreshed. Then I logged in and checked the stats. No new visits.

I called Mary Lou back to gossip about Morelli some more to distract myself. She didn't know much more but was going to walk down to the bakery for lunch in order to gather more gossip. I told her to call me back after lunch, hung up, and called my mother.

Grandma Mazur answered and said that she'd spent the morning at the beauty parlour and gotten all the details. Vinnie had given Morelli to another new bounty hunter to bring in, but he'd refused, saying that Morelli was a good cop and he wasn't interested in bringing a cop in (Connie, Vinnie's office manager, had heard the whole conversation). So Vinnie had gone after Morelli himself, but gotten scared away. Probably by Mrs Morelli.

Morty Byers had gone after him after getting out of hospital but had ruptured his recent surgical incision chasing after Joe when he'd spotted him on the street. Meanwhile Joe had found the evidence he needed to clear his name and bring the bad guys in, and had handed himself into Vinnie's new bounty hunter. Or maybe Vinnie's new bounty hunter that come across the evidence that cleared Morelli's name? It was quite a story and I wasn't sure how much of it was true.

I ate lunch and shared the Plum Lingerie Facebook page on my page. The first like was from Grandma.

Mary Lou called back and shared the gossip. Mostly it was about Vinnie's new mysterious bounty hunter. No one actually knew any details though. The charges had been officially dropped against Joe Morelli and he was back at work.

The second like on the Facebook page was from Valerie and she called me to say that she liked the website. I gave her the update on Joe Morelli – they'd gone to school together although Morelli was wild and Val was perfect, so their paths didn't really cross. We both agreed that we were glad Morelli wasn't in jail, and then hung up.

I checked the website stats again, sighed, and then got to work. It was time to start promoting Plum Lingerie.


	3. Chapter 3 - Underwear on the table

Four weeks after I'd placed my order, the boxes arrived. I had them delivered into the garage. I wasn't expecting them for at least another week, and I'd already had the shipping materials for when we got ordered sitting there. There were so many boxes! Our cars wouldn't fit into the garage and the motorbikes had disappeared somewhere behind all the boxes.

Luckily Ella was there to see me panic. "Why don't you set the shipping materials up in the dining room?" she suggested. I guess she noticed that there was never any signs of use in there. It was a good suggestion though – I had thought I'd set up in my office but that would mean taking everything upstairs.

I decided to get organised, and put the shipping materials out on the table so it would be easy to pack, and then I decided to haul up a box of each kind of bra into the dining room and opened them up. I did a happy dance. They were just like the samples, exactly as they should be, and I was so excited that I hugged them.

I called Ella in to have a look at them too.

"Oh Stephanie, the material is beautiful," Ella said. "It's so soft and lovely."

I skipped upstairs to update the website. With our stock in, we were officially open for business!

A few days later I was distracting myself from the lack of hits on the website by going for a walk to the deli when I heard a ping on my phone that meant I had a new email. I opened it up to read. An order! My first order! Then I saw the address. Val. I called her.

"Val, you don't have to buy bras from me. It's not that bad," I said.

"They're a gift for a friend who is having a baby shower soon," Val said. "I know that she is going to love them. I didn't want to ask you to just send me one when you're just getting started out."

"Aww Val, thank you."

It was sweet of her to do that. I bought my lunch from the deli, then went back home to package up my first order. I decided to drive to the post office to drop off the package, then continued on to my parents' house to show my mom and Grandma what we had produced.

Dickie had started his new job a few weeks ago and I knew there was little chance that he'd be home in time for dinner, so I figured I'd hang out with my parents and Grandma for a few hours, mooch dinner off them, then head home. Unfortunately the reaction to my product line didn't go quite as planned.

"Stephanie Plum! Don't put underwear on the table!"

"Relax, ma, it's not used. This is brand new, just delivered."

"What will the neighbours think if they saw underwear on our table?"

"That your daughter has a lingerie company and she's showing you her first product line and would like you to pay attention?"

My mother was perplexed. Having a daughter who was an entrepreneur would be a bragging point if all went well. On the other hand, there were bras on the table. Potential pride won out and she hugged me. "I'm so proud of you, Stephanie. They look perfect."

"Thanks mom."

Grandma looked thoughtfully at the lingerie. "I wish they'd had these when I was younger. This purple one would have lightened things up between your grandfather and me," she said. My mother sighed and looked wistfully at the ironing board.

"Will you come to church with us on Sunday?" my mother asked.

"I, uh, think that I might be busy," I said. My mother sighed again, this time a long suffering sigh.

"Will you come for lunch at least? Bring Dickie. We haven't seen him for a while. I want to hear how his new job is going," my mother said. Well, I could at least do that.

* * *

Dickie was less than enthusiastic about Sunday lunch with my parents and tried to claim that he needed to work. Nice try. I told him that at least he wasn't expected to attend church, reminded him that I'd gone to his parents for dinner last month WITHOUT HIM due to a work emergency, and then implied that keeping his wife happy might lead to him being happy in other areas of his life.

He sighed, got into his car, and asked if we needed to stop at the bakery first. "If your Grandma tries to cop a feel I'm faking a work emergency," he said, starting up the car.

"Fair enough."

I was coming out of Giovinnchi's with the cold cuts that my mother asked me to pick up for Sunday lunch when I ran smacked into someone.

"Oof!"

"Hello Steph. I haven't seen you in a long time," Morelli said. He'd only gotten better looking as he grew older. He had a new scar over his eye and I'd heard rumours of a tattoo from his time in the Navy. He was taller than Dickie and from the way I bounced back off him, solid too.

"Hey Joe. I'm glad you're not in jail." Smooth, Steph, real smooth.

"Me too. Well, nice seeing you cupcake, but I've got to go," he said, moving away.

"Yeah. Me too. If I'm late for lunch there's going to be trouble."

"I didn't see you in the church this morning," he said.

"Funny, I didn't see you in church this morning either," I told him. I knew a bluff when I heard one. Also who said we were talking about the same churches.

"I heard you're selling women's underwear now," Morelli said, changing the subject. He had a glint in his eye that I knew well.

"I've been selling underwear for years, Morelli, I was a lingerie buyer. I've started up a maternity wear lingerie line," I told him. He looked like he was going to respond, then thought better of it and started walking away. Stupid Morelli.

Dickie beeped the horn and gestured for me to hurry up. Men. They all needed to be less annoying.

Lunch went well. My father ignored everyone and read the paper. Grandma updated us on the latest Burg gossip that she'd heard at church. And my mother surprised me by asking how my sales were going.

"Not that great," I said, "so far they're all to people that I know. They all say that they love them, but I need to find a way of getting the product out there. Our marketing team used to make this look so easy, but it's hard with an unknown brand and product."

"I've told Steph not to worry," Dickie said, "I'm here to support here no matter what she chooses. If this doesn't work out, the housewife life is a good option." He reached over to squeeze my hand.

I rolled my eyes. I wouldn't be a good fit as a housewife.

"It's good for a woman to keep her options open and have other interests," my mother said, fixing Dickie with a thin smiled look that for a Burg housewife bordered on outright hostility towards a guest, even if that guest was her son-in-law. "So, Dickie, how is your new job? I've heard interesting things."

I saw Dickie twitch. "It's going well, so far. It's a change from working for the DA, so I'm adjusting to that. But the extra money is good. I'm thinking of upgrading our cars. How would you like a Mercedes, Steph?"

"Uh… what's wrong with my Honda?"

"Nothing! I just thought you'd like an upgrade. I thought with my new job we both deserved something a bit higher in status. I might check out some dealers next weekend," Dickie said.

"You should buy American!" my father said, suddenly snapping into the conversation. "Get a Ford at least. That's what's wrong with this country, everyone buying foreign cars."

"I'd like a convertible," Grandma said, "I think that would help me land a man, if I had a convertible."

My mother got up to clear the table and took the plates into the kitchen. I took the leftover food in after her, and started putting it away in the fridge.

"What was that earlier? That you've heard interesting things about Dickie?" I asked my mother.

"Oh, nothing, dear. Just asking Dickie how his job is. Would you like some cake? Here, take this to the table," my mother said, handing me fresh plates and cutlery.

Hmmm.

We ate our cake quickly, then said goodbye and left. Duty done.

"Do you want to look at cars on the way home?" Dickie asked me. "Mercedes, Audi or BMW?"

"Just like that?" I asked him.

"We can afford it. I want to buy you something nice. You deserve something for working so hard," Dickie said, squeezing my hand.

I was suspicious. There had to be a catch to this.

"And, ah, I forgot to tell you before – I need to go to Chicago for work for a few weeks. Will you be okay without me?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay. The house will be quiet though. What do you need to travel for?"

"Client confidentiality," Dickie said, smiling at me. "I need to look into something. Like a glorified private investigator, but they're paying me for it. Gotta keep the clients happy."

Well, a new car, and a couple of weeks on my own. Life could be worse, I guess.

* * *

A few days after Dickie had left on his work trip, Grandma rang me. "I need a ride to Moogey Bues viewing. Your mother says I can't go because she's a stick in the mud. Will you take me?"

"What happened to Moogey Bues?"

"He was shot! Again. I heard it made a real mess. Stiva must have done some real craftsmanship on that one."

Hmmm. A night out at a funeral home or a night in alone. I know what I'd prefer to do, but time to be a good granddaughter.

"What time do you need me there?"

Stiva's was packed when we got there, and we had to park down a block. Grandma was having a great time as soon as we went through the door. I remembered what my mother had told me and tried to keep an eye on her. She was trouble, but I hoped that she couldn't get into much mischief in a funeral home.

"I hear that Stiva had to do some real work on this one," said Grandma. "So many bullet holes to patch up. It's going to be some real craftsmanship."

"I don't think it's going to be open casket," I told Grandma.

"Well that's just no fun. We come out all this way, the least they can do is give us a look. Maybe the lid will come undone."

"No! No lid coming undone. Mom will ban me from dessert if you don't behave."

We walked inside together and Grandma disappeared off into the crowd to chat with her friends and hit on old men. I headed for the cookie table. Since I was probably going to be banned from dessert at my parent's, I needed to stock up now. The cookies weren't as good as Ella's, but a cookie is a cookie.

I could feel eyes on me and looked around the room. I waved to Morelli who was standing against one wall and made my way across to him. He was wary, gaze flickering around the room.

"It's funny, I was just thinking of you," he said to me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's going to rain. I often think of you when it's going to rain."

"You deserved it," I told him.

"Yeah, probably. An accident with a Buick is the least of what I deserve," he said. A bad boy with a hidden and not-so-hidden past. Be still my heart. Quick, change the subject.

"You're not looking too relaxed," I said to him

"It's a funeral. Why should I be relaxed?"

"There's cookies. Choc chip this time. Better than raisin," I said, raising one up to show him. "This one is mine though."

"I prefer cupcakes," he told me, putting a slight leer into his eyes.

"You're a pig, Morelli. No manners." I looked around the room and saw someone on the opposite wall watching us. Male, dressed in black, with hair pulled back into a pony tail. No one I had seen around The Burg before. I would remember someone who looked like that. He noticed that I had seen him watching us and inclined his head slightly so I smiled and gave him a finger wave.

"Who's your friend over there?" I asked Morelli.

"Not my friend."

"He looks like he knows you."

"He's Vinnie's bounty hunter, the one that refused to bring me in. I owe him."

"He works for Vinnie?" Ew. Vinnie germs.

"Among other things. Stay away from that one, cupcake."

"Among other things. Way to make him sound all mysterious. I heard that he uncovered the evidence that cleared your name," I told Joe.

"Don't give him too much credit," Joe told me.

"Anyway, I'm married, remember?" I held up my hand, showing off my wedding rings. I needed to find Grandma. She'd been on her own for long enough and was probably about to get into trouble. Just then I heard screaming. Uh oh!

I made my way into the room to find Grandma being ushered out by Stiva.

"It was an accident! My sleeve caught on the lid! And anyway, a closed coffin viewing is just bad manners. How are we supposed to know who is really in there?" Grandma said. Stiva had his undertakers smile on but it looked forced. I grabbed on to her arm.

"Come on, Grandma, it's time that we go. Bye everyone," I said, steering her out towards the door. I finger waved to Joe as we went past and he winked.

There was no chocolate pudding in my future.

By the time I got Grandma into the car and we pulled up outside the house, my mother was waiting in the doorway, arms crossed, looking unhappy. She must have gotten a phone call already. The Burg grapevine works fast. Definitely no chocolate pudding for me.


	4. Chapter 4 - Overnight success

I was avoiding my mother after the whole accidental open casket incident. Luckily I had Ella's cookies to tide me over because I suspected that I wasn't going to get dessert for a long long time. I was also avoiding telling Dickie about it, he already thought that my Grandma shouldn't be allowed out of the house (kind of the opposite to my father, who thought that Grandma should be out of the house all the time).

I filled in my time by creating an Instagram account and added in photos of the lingerie. I'd bartered with two friends from high school to give them lingerie in exchange for modelling and photography fees. We'd had a fun photo session together. It made me realise how little I see of my friends, even Mary Lou. I need to get out more.

I rang Val to give her the latest update on what I was up to.

"Hi Steph! I'm on my way to the baby shower for Sophie. I know she's going to love her present!" Val told me.

"That's awesome, Val. I hope you have a great afternoon out."

"It's going to be great! It's a high tea, and there will be champagne, and I'm so happy. Steve is working, but we have the most amazing babysitter for the girls. She's great, I love her. Even Steve thinks she's fantastic. It means I can actually go out on the weekends and have a bit of a social life again," Val said.

"High tea? Take photos of the food for me, I want to see what you have," I told her. Val laughed.

"I'll keep you update, Steph. Okay, I've got to go. Bye!"

I decided to watch a movie, then went to bed. This is apparently life in my 30s – a Saturday night home alone, going to bed early. I should probably look into getting multiple cats. Or maybe a hamster.

The next morning the sun was shining through the curtains, and I was trying to work out why my phone was making noise so early in the morning. It was sounding slightly possessed with all the notifications that were pinging. I rolled over, trying to focus. I had Instagram followers! Where had they come from? And omigod! An order! And another order!

I was still a bit fuzzy headed and I was having trouble working out what was happening. I opened up Instagram and saw that Plum Lingerie had been tagged in a photo. It was of a baby shower, and a very pregnant woman holding up a shimmery blue bra. Val's baby shower present! And the person who snapped the photo was a famous mommy blogger who had shared it with her nearly one million followers. Omigod. My hands were shaking a little as I tried to ring Val, forgetting how early it would be for her.

"Hello?"

"Val! Did you… how did you… how?" For once, I was lost for words.

"Steph, are you okay?"

"Val, do you have any idea who was at the baby shower?"

"Oh Steph! There was someone there who I was telling about your lingerie and how hard you'd worked on it, and she asked if it was okay to share it online. I knew you had a Facebook account so I said yes. Was that okay?"

"Val, you are amazing! You are the best sister ever!"

When I got off the phone with Val, I had three more orders. Plum Lingerie was finally underway!

The orders kept on coming in. By the time Ella arrived on Monday I was in a panic.

"Stephanie! It's okay. We'll work it out," Ella said. She handed me a plate of cookies, made me a cup of coffee, then looked over the stack of orders. I'd printed them out as they'd come in with payment confirmed.

Ella helped me with getting a system in place, and then worked on the packing for the rest of the afternoon instead of cleaning. By the time she left I was feeling calmer. I had orders, I had a system, I was a success!

The week passed quickly with more orders coming in, and I got into a routine of checking my computer, printing out orders and packing slips, packing orders and taking them to the post office. I was also working on new ideas for the next line of Plum Lingerie.

Dickie managed to fly home for the weekend to celebrate my sales success, and also arranged for two new cars to be delivered and our old ones traded in at the dealership. He then disappeared for another two weeks in Chicago. It was a quick reunion but I was happy to see him after two weeks apart. I also had to admire his negotiating skills. He had two cars ordered, bargained down on price, while I would have still been agonising over colour choices or seat warmers. I also got him to help me pack some packages up as the orders came in.

Poor Dickie. I hoped that he wasn't too lonely in Chicago. I was so busy that I barely had time to ring him.

A few days after Dickie's visit I was shopping at the deli near our townhouse when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Hello cupcake."

"Hello Morelli," I said, turning around. "Don't tell me, you were just in the neighbourhood?"

"Actually I do live nearby," he said, "but I've never been in here before. I heard it was good food. I'm getting a bit tired of Pino's."

"Blasphemy!" I told him, but I guess you could get tired of meatball subs after a while. I wondered what Joe usually did for food. Probably his mother stocked his freezer with meals for him. Maybe Mrs Morelli was on vacation.

"Do you want to eat dinner with me?" he asked, awkwardly holding up his meal. "I was going to eat mine here."

"Yeah, why not," I said. It beat going home to the empty house. We got our food heated up, and sat down at a table together.

"So what's up?" I asked Joe. "Why isn't Mama Morelli keeping you stocked in food?"

He sighed and rubbed his face over his face. "I'm avoiding my family because my family is insane, cupcake. My stupid cousin Kenny has gone FTA, and I need to get to the bottom of something he's involved in, and I don't want to hear about it from my family."

"Why couldn't you be a mechanic, Loretta Mancelli's son never has to arrest his cousin?" I asked him sympathetically. He nodded. We both ate our meals. It was hard being not quite what your Burg family expected, even if that was that you grew up to be a cop instead of a mechanic. I guess Morelli and I had more in common than I thought we did. Besides that one time behind the pastry cabinet. I could feel my accelerator foot twitching at the thought of it. Good thing we weren't near a car.

"Yeah, like that," he said, "but I'm meeting a contact nearby soon and hopefully we can track down creepy Kenny together. I'm good at finding people, but this guy is better, so between us we should have Kenny soon."

"Good luck with that," I said. Kenny was creepy and thinking about him for too long gave me the shudders. Argh.

"So," Morelli said, changing the subject, "how's the underwear business? I could help you out with giving you my opinion on any new designs."

The constants in my entire life – dinner was on the table promptly at 6pm, housewives of the Burg would gossip about every move I made, and Joe Morelli was a pig. It was almost enough to make me feel nostalgic.


	5. Chapter 5 - Morelli needs a favour

I had a message on my phone from Morelli. Well, I wanted a break from packing parcels anyway.

"I need a favour," he opened with. I had a bad feeling about this. Things that Morelli wanted from me never went well and usually left me without any underwear on. However, against my better judgement, I agreed to meet him at a nearby café in twenty minutes. I really wanted away from these parcels. I was so glad that my lingerie was selling so well, but so over sticky labels. This is the sort of things that my mom would love, maybe I should get her to help.

Morelli was already at the café when I arrived, on his phone. "No, I don't need more boxes. No, it's fine, really. I'm good. There's not much to move. Anyway, gotta go. Bye."

"Hey," I said to him as I sat down.

"Hey Steph. Sorry. Just trying to get some things sorted," he said.

"Are you moving?" I asked him.

"I'm moving back into the Burg."

"Are you going home to Mama Morelli?"

"Close. My aunt Rose died, she and my uncle never had children, and I'm the favourite nephew – was the favourite nephew – so I get the house. My sister gets the furniture though so it's going to be a bit empty for a while. I thought I'd give living in a house a go for a while, see how I like it," he said.

I tried to picture Morelli domesticated. I wasn't sure that it would ever happen. I was certain he'd always have a feral streak.

I thought I knew which house it was. Morelli's Aunt Rose didn't live far from my parents, just two streets over. Her house was the middle house in a rowhouses – no windows on the sides but a cute porch. It would probably have a small backyard, a basement for storage and only one bathroom.

"I think you should put an extra bathroom in," I told him. "Put one in the basement. Everyone needs an extra bathroom."

"There's only one of me living there," Morelli said, "so I think I'll be okay."

"You might settle down soon. Find someone you like, settle down, add to the Morelli family with more little Morellis."

Morelli laughed. "Cops don't make for good husbands, cupcake. Look at how much extra whining your cousin does since she married Eddie. I think I'd have to marry someone that I didn't actually like so I wouldn't feel bad about dragging her into the life of a cop wife."

"Try Joyce Barnhardt," I advised him. "She deserves to get her life ruined."

Morelli laughed harder. I ordered a sandwich and he ordered a burger. Then I got curious.

"So what's this favour you need?" I asked him. "Do you need help moving a fridge?"

Morelli smiled. Glad that I amused him.

"How's your husband?" he asked me.

"Dickie? He's good. He got back from Chicago last week so at least I get to see him now, which is nice. Why?" I asked.

"Did you know he's representing Uncle Mo?" Morelli asked. I gasped. I hadn't known that. The Uncle Mo scandal was the best scandal to hit the Burg in decades. The local candy shop owner with bodies of drug dealers in his basement. Grandma kept ringing me to give me updates.

"I had no idea. Dickie doesn't discuss his work with me," I said.

"I need to meet with Dickie to get him to pass on a message to Uncle Mo, but I can't get through to him. Do you think you could get him to meet with me?" Morelli asked. I was a bit annoyed with Dickie for withholding information on the Uncle Mo scandal, so after we'd finished lunch, I took Morelli to meet Dickie.

Dickie had an awesome office, he really did. When I visited, I liked to sit behind his desk and pretend I was in a sitcom where I played a Serious Female Lawyer. I nodded to his assistant and pointed towards the office door, which was slightly ajar. No clients in there at the moment. I stuck my head in and held up a sandwich.

"Surprise!" I said. "I brought you a sandwich for lunch. Oh, and Detective Morelli followed me here. Don't worry though, I'm not going to ask to keep him."

Dickie looked surprised but I knew that Dickie practised expressions in the mirror and also that his office window overlooked the street and he liked to stare out it while he pretended to think. He'd probably seen us coming.

"Detective Morelli," Dickie said, shaking his hand. "It's good to finally meet you."

He's only saying that because he doesn't know about what was written on the toilet wall of the sub shop.

"Thank for seeing me on such short notice," Morelli said, ignoring the fact that it was actually no notice at all, "I'd like to talk to you about a client of yours."

"Of course," said Dickie, gesturing for Morelli to sit down. Then he looked at me. Morelli looked at me. I guess I wasn't needed anymore. I kissed Dickie, waved to Morelli, and then left.

* * *

When I was on my way home, Grandma rang with the latest round of gossip and to see if I could call Eddie Gazarra to find any more gossip. I agreed to go to my parents for dinner. I was going to see if my mom wanted to help with packaging up parcels when I had a bunch of orders come in. Also I'd get cake.

I called Eddie before I left for my parent's house, timing the call for when I was fairly sure he'd be on his way home from work. I doubted he'd be able to tell me anything that Grandma didn't already know, but I hadn't seen him for ages and wanted to catch up. Eddie is married to my cousin Shirley and they have four children, all of whom are absolute terrors. Eddie is always on the lookout for a babysitter because no one will babysit for him twice, not even my mother. Eddie and I exchanged stories and decided that Grandma had the best spy network of anyone in the Burg, and agreed to meet up for breakfast the next morning.

I got to my parents just before 6 and was surprised to only see my mom at the door. Usually Grandma would be there with her, standing shoulder to shoulder.

"Where's Grandma?" I asked mom, giving her a hug. My mom sighed. A long suffering sigh, like a woman who has to bear a burden.

"Go into the lounge room," she said.

My father was in his usual chair in the lounge room, ignoring everyone and in his mental happy place. Grandma was also in there, with her latest catch next to her.

"Stephanie! Meet Fred! We met down at the senior citizens centre. He's a real honey," Grandma Mazur said.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," I said to Fred, then ducked into the kitchen where I found my mother pouring a glass of wine.

"Where did this one come from?" I asked my mother.

"Who knows. Your grandmother is man crazy."

"Hey mom? I could use some help with my business. Nothing exciting, but I need help with packaging up orders. Would you be interested in helping me when it's busy?"

"Oh Steph! I'd love to. Do you need help now? I could come tomorrow. And I'll bring lunch."

"No, don't do that. I'll take you out for lunch," I told her.

"Great! Now we've just got to get through this dinner. I think Fred wants to move in with us. Don't tell your father," my mom said, pouring herself more wine. It seemed like she'd had quite a day already.

Dinner was a disaster, but that's to be expected when Grandma brings home a new boyfriend. At least I got leftovers and cake out of it, and would see my mom the next day for a parcel packaging session.

Dickie was already home when I arrived home. I went looking for him and found him just getting out of the shower.

"Hey Steph," he greeted me. "I thought you'd be home later."

"No, it was another Plum Disaster night," I told him, "but there's leftovers if you want some. Meatloaf, mashed potato, and cake."

"That sounds great," he said, starting to walk downstairs. I let him walk in front of me and admired the view. The man did look great in a towel.

"How hungry are you?" I asked him. He turned around halfway down the stairs.

"I'm open to other suggestions," Dickie said. He winked at me. I was still a bit annoyed at him for not sharing any Uncle Mo gossip with me, but on the other hand, my hormones were telling me to take advantage of the towel situation. I think the hormones were going to win.

* * *

Eddie and I met up for our breakfast date at a diner that is rumoured to have the best donuts. I am doubtful over this claim because everyone knows that the Tasty Pastry has the best donuts, but I was willing to sacrifice my waistline in order to do a proper comparison. I got there first and ordered, making sure that I got enough that we could have a proper sample size. It was for science, after all.

Eddie was late, so I started without him. I was two donuts down by the time he showed up. Eddie and I had been friends since grade school and I adored him. He was a naturally cheerful person, and not even becoming a cop had managed to cure him of that.

He looked tired, and gulped down a coffee and ate a donut while I updated him on my latest business news, and Grandma Mazur's latest round of dating.

"I have some gossip for you," Eddie said.

"What?" I asked, stealing the last doughnut from the plate.

"Joyce Barnhardt blackmailed your cousin Vinnie into letting her be a bounty hunter. She's strutting around wearing black like she's catwoman."

I laughed. I didn't want to think about the bribery that it would have taken to get Vinnie to agree to that.

"Why do you think Joyce did that? Does she think she's batman?"

"I think she's between husbands and bored. Or maybe she's decided that Vinnie's bounty hunter Ranger is going to be husband number four and it's a way to get closer to him," Eddie said. I loved my catch-up sessions with Eddie, he liked to gossip as much as I did.

"Ranger? Does he dress all in black and have a ponytail?" I asked, remembering the man of mystery that I'd seen at Stiva's one night. Morelli had said he was Vinnie's bounty hunter.

"That's the one. From the way that Joyce is dressing, I think he's next on her radar. Of course she's yet to actually capture anyone, so she'll have to do better if she's hoping to impress him that way. That man is amazing when it comes to capturing FTAs," Eddie said. I think that Eddie had a man-crush. "The guy is good, even Morelli thinks so."

"Does Morelli know him well?" I asked Eddie, thinking of when they were both at the funeral parlour. They didn't seem too friendly then.

"I think they work together sometimes. Morelli goes under cover a lot and I don't know what he's doing then. Us normal cops don't get to know everything," Eddie said, shrugging. Edddie was happy being a normal cop. Eddie liked patrolling and finding out the neighbourhood gossip.

* * *

My mother arrived promptly at 9am and we got to work. She packed orders and double checked the ones I'd done the day before while I updated the website and sent out shipping notifications. We made a good team.

We took a break for lunch and walked down to the deli. It was strange to talk, just the two of us. I was so used to Grandma being there now. We bought sandwiches for lunch and I added on a cookie for each of us. I told her that Joe Morelli was moving back into the Burg.

"Oh, I'd heard that he'd inherited the house. I'm glad that he is going to keep it," my mother said. "Joseph needs to settle down. He's done so well in the police force." The unspoken part of that was that Joe had done awesomely for a Morelli man. Most were bums who cheated on their wives, or worse. Joe was a shining star among Morelli men.

At the end of the day we'd rearranged the boxes so they all fit in the dining room. This unearthed the motorbikes in the garage and my mother stared at them with pursed lips but chose not to say anything. Phew, progress. A lecture spared. I missed my bike. If the weather was good, I needed to go riding soon. I made a note to see if Dickie wanted to go riding on the weekend.


	6. Chapter 6 - Future Plans

Author's Note – sorry there's not much action in this chapter. It all starts happening after this!

* * *

The weekend came, and it was perfect weather for riding a motorbike. Unfortunately Dickie mumbled something about a case he was working on, a brief that needed to be submitted, and disappeared into his home office. Dickie had some habits that I didn't like. He was a workaholic and did more recreational drugs than I was comfortable with. And he had ambitions of being in politics one day. But he was a good lawyer and dedicated to his clients. From the look on his face I knew it was important and that he was close to making a breakthrough in his case. I'd be lucky if he reappeared before lunchtime, and after a week working at home, I wanted to escape. While I could go riding on my own, it wasn't as much fun.

I decided to see if Morelli needed any help moving or packing. Also I was totally nosy and wanted to see where he lived. I rang him and offered to bring bakery treats to his apartment to help with the move. He requested Boston Cremes and gave me his address. It was really was close by, only a few streets away. I picked up donuts and coffee on my way.

Morelli was surrounded by boxes in the middle of the modern apartment. I wasn't sure how his furniture was going to look in a row house.

"Thank you for the donuts and coffee. Did you want to help or were you just feeling nosy?" Morelli asked me.

"A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B," I told him. "My plans for this morning fell through, so I thought I'd see if you needed help."

I ended up helping Morelli pack his kitchen stuff into boxes. There wasn't much of it, but it did look like that it got used more often than my pots and pans do.

"My cousin Mooch is coming with a van this afternoon to move the furniture. I'm on my own for packing though. My mother offered to help, but then my grandmother would have come, and I don't want them going through my stuff."

"Your grandmother is scary."

"Tell me about it."

"Can she really give people the eye?"

"I tell myself that she can't. Sometimes I forget that though," Morelli said.

I left before Mooch arrived, not wanting to move furniture, and called Mary Lou when I was on my way home to update her. She wanted to know if I'd seen his underwear drawer and what type he wore. I reported that his plates were boring and his pans a bit used, and she hung up, disappointed. Mary Lou thinks about sex a lot more than I do. She definitely fell in love with her husband because of his body, not his mind. Lenny is a great guy, but he's not a deep thinker.

* * *

On Monday after I'd prepared another round of parcels and done my usual social media and website updates, and eaten a peanut butter and olives sandwich for lunch, Ella arrived with her usual plate of cookies for me. She admired the pile of parcels ready to go out.

"It looks like your business is really working out, Stephanie," she said.

"It really is. Once I got the first big push of orders, it all flowed from there. How is your business going, Ella?" I asked her. Ella was trying to build up her cleaning business to have more consistent work. I'd recommended her to a few of Dickie's colleagues but most people I knew cleaned their houses themselves.

"It's enough to keep me busy," she said. "I like having people to look after now my boys have all moved out of home. I wish that I had more people to cook for though."

"I really enjoy your cookies," I told her. I tried to make them last week but sometimes I accidentally ate them all by the time I went to bed on Monday night.

I decided to get out of Ella's way and took the parcel to the post office, then dropped by to see Mary Lou. Mikey was having a nap, and Kenny was playing with his Legos, so we actually got to talk to each other for once. Mary Lou made coffee while I pulled out the donuts that I'd bought on my way over. Kenny came over for a brightly coloured one and I put one aside for Mikey to have later.

"How is your business going, Steph?" Mary Lou asked.

"Pretty well. It's selling consistently, getting good reviews online, and it's just enough for me to handle on my own most of the time. Mom helped me out at one point, and Ella another day, but mostly I can get through it on my own. I need to start thinking about what we'll do next," I told her.

"Do you have any ideas?"

"I do but I need to work out which one is the most viable. I really want to create a range of lingerie that an intergalactic space princess would wear, since I always wanted to be one, but I'm not sure that would sell well."

"I heard that Princess Leia didn't wear any underwear at all," Mary Lou said. We both thought about this some more while we ate our donuts. "She probably did when she was older though," Mary Lou said, "because things tend to start shifting around. She looked like she was dressing for comfort later on."

I wondered what sort of underwear an older intergalactic space princess would wear. Comfortable yet ready for anything. They'd probably have some sort of new fabric. Maybe it would even be bullet proof. Although they'd probably have lasers. Laser proof bras? I needed to think about this some more.

After I said goodbye to Mary Lou I started to drive home but then impulsively decided to drive past Morelli's new house to see what it looked like. Then I immediately regretted it when I saw Morelli out in his front yard, putting his bins out. I tried to drive past but he spotted me and waved. Probably there weren't too many Mercedes driving around the Burg. I pulled over outside his house and rolled my window down.

"You just in the neighbourhood?" Morelli said to me, mimicking my words from when we met in the Deli.

"Visiting Mary Lou," I told him.

"Ah your old partner in crime. Good to hear that you're still together. Do you want a tour so you can give her a full report?" Morelli asked me. Nosiness won out and I got out of the car and followed Morelli into the house.

"You can see the living room, dining room. This is the kitchen. Upstairs is the bedrooms and bathroom. This is the backyard," he said, opening the door. It was a basic background, but it was fence. There was a garage out the back too.

"Do you want a tour of the garage?" he asked.

"Are you going to keep your hands to yourself?" I asked him.

"Probably. I think we're a bit old for playing train and tunnel," he said, pulling open the garage door. His truck sat in the driveway, so the garage was housing a few fold-up chairs, a barbecue that had seen better days, and a Ducati. My eyes lit up.

"I didn't know you had a bike!"

"You can't ride it," Morelli said.

"I have my own, we should go riding together one day," I told him. Morelli looked doubtful. "At least come by and I'll show you my bike."

"I'm headed over to my old apartment this afternoon to hand the keys back around 4pm, but then I probably won't be in the neighbourhood again," Morelli said.

"Ride your bike over and we'll go for a ride," I told him. At least with Ella being there the house will be clean. And we'll be chaperoned. I had no intentions of getting my underwear off around Morelli but it was better to be safe than sorry.

* * *

I heard a motorbike pull up outside the townhouse, and went to the door. Ella was finishing up in the kitchen and looked up.

"It's a friend from school coming to visit," I told Ella, feeling absurdly guilty. Having Morelli into my house seemed to be crossing a line that I wasn't even aware of before now.

"That's nice that you have a visitor," Ella said. I opened the door to Morelli and invited him in, taking him into the kitchen to meet Ella and offer him a cookie. The door to the garage was in the hall just next to the kitchen.

Morelli looked around the garage. It was clean, with storage cupboards for the motorbike gear. It contained my Mercedes, and the two motorbikes. Morelli whistled when he saw the bikes.

"So much power. Is Dickie compensating for something?"

"Nope. He has no need to compensate," I told Morelli.

"Let's go for a ride," Morelli said, grinning at me. I said goodbye to Ella, and we were off.

Being back on the bike was exhilarating. I hadn't been on it for a while but managed to keep up with Morelli. We'd been out for about an hour when we wound our way back to my house.

I pulled up outside the garage and dug into my backpack for the garage door remote. I'd just hit the button when Dickie's car pulled into the driveway. He parked inside the garage, then got out and strolled over to me.

"Detective Morelli," he said, nodding coolly at Joe, then leaned over at kissed me, possessively, jealously. "I decided to come home early and surprise you, I didn't think you'd be busy," he said to me.

"I was just leaving," Joe said, smirking. "See you around, cupcake." He started up his bike before I could tell him off for using that nickname.

"Why was he here?" Dickie asked me.

"I invited him to go for a ride," I said, conveniently leaving out all the details. No need to mention that I'd been to Morelli's house earlier today. Or the reason behind the nickname.

"Next time, wait for me," Dickie said.

"You're always working," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"I'm not working now," he said. "Bring your bike in. Have I ever told you how good you look on a bike?"

I took my bike into the garage. By the time I got into the house, Dickie had a bottle of wine opened and two glasses out.

"I'm sorry I've been working so much lately," he said, handing me a glass of wine.

"It's okay, I've been busy too," I said.

"I'm working really hard for us, Steph. For our future," Dickie said, looking at me intently.

I wondered where all this was coming from. Was he feeling guilty? Or was he that insecure that seeing Morelli here shook him up? I decided to start getting dinner ready and opened the fridge. Oh bless Ella, she'd made a salad to go along with the Deli lasagne that I'd pulled out of the freezer earlier.

"Steph," Dickie said, "I think we should have a baby."

I nearly dropped the lasagne. I needed more wine for this conversation.

"Why? We agreed that we'd wait until the time was right," I reminded him.

"I think the time is right," Dickie said. "My new job is going great, we have enough money. Step Two is going great. I thought maybe it was time to move to Step Three."

"This is a bit sudden. And my businesses is just getting started up. I need to focus on that right now."

"Steph, we've been married for six years. How much longer do you want to wait?"

"It's still a bit sudden. Give me some time to think it over, okay?"

Dickie had a plan which included going into politics with a wife and 2-3 adorable children at his side. A boy that took after his father, Dickie Junior, a girl who would have to take after her Aunty Val, and then a third. All impeccably dressed and well behaved. I wasn't sure how his plan was going to go with my genetics mixed in there. He was thinking long term – if he wanted to go into politics in his mid-forties, he needed to start working on his photo props now. Maybe he really did want children too, but he didn't really seem to like any of the kids that we knew. He might have been scarred after Eddie Gazarra's kids cut off a chunk of his hair when we babysat one night and fell asleep on the couch waiting for Eddie and Shirley to get home.

We ate the lasagne and salad mostly in silence, then moved to the couch. I watched TV and zoned out while Dickie played with his phone. It was an uncomfortable night in the Plum-Orr household. I texted Val for advice, but she didn't reply. And I suspected that her answer would be to have a baby.

My phone rang. It was my mother and she sounded frantic.

"Grandma has left!"

"What do you mean, left?"

"She had a fight with your father and she packed a bag and left! I don't know where she's gone! She called a taxi and left. It's 9pm at night, where would she go?" my mother said.

My doorbell rang. Uh oh.

"Uh, mom? My doorbell is ringing," I said, walking to the front door. I looked through the peephole. Yep. Grandma. "Sooooo Grandma is at the door," I said.

"Oh thank goodness. Is she okay?"

I sighed and opened the door.

"Come on in, Grandma. Mom is on the phone, she's worried about you," I told her. Grandma reached over and took the phone off me.

"Helen? I can't live with Frank anymore. I'm not coming home," she said, and hung up. She gave me a hug and pulled a huge suitcase inside.

When I was young and in trouble at home, I would always run to my grandparents. Out the back door, through the alley, one block down, one block over, and through a front door that always seemed to be left unlocked just for me. Grandma would make me a safe hiding place under a sheet draped between two chairs, and have cookies waiting for me when I was ready to talk. It looked like it was time for me to be the place to run to, which was a scary thought. I tried to think of what to do, and took Grandma into the kitchen and pulled out Ella's cookies and made us hot chocolates. Grandma pulled out a hip flask and added something into hers. I decided not to ask.

"I need to find my own place to live," Grandma announced, "I can't live with your fuddy duddy mother anymore, she's cramping my style. And your father, don't get me started."

"How do you think you're going to do that?" I asked her.

"I've got some money still from when I sold our house. I was saving it for if I needed it to go into a home, but I can use it for an apartment. My friend Rose lives in a nice complex. It's full of honeys," Grandma told me.

I heard a noise and looked up to see Dickie. He startled when he saw Grandma sitting there, huge suitcase beside her.

Here's the thing about my husband – he could charm the pants off anyone at all in the world, except my Grandpa Mazur. Grandpa Mazur didn't like Dickie one bit. I guess he thought that no one would ever be good enough for me. Because of this, Grandma Mazur has always been suspicious of Dickie and he looked a bit alarmed at the sight of her.

"Edna! What a lovely surprise," he said.

"Grandma's had a fight with my dad and needs somewhere to stay for a few days," I told him. He nodded.

"Well, you're welcome here. Should I take your bag upstairs?" Dickie asked Grandma. He looked over at me for confirmation. I nodded. Even with both of us having a home office, we still had a room for guests. He picked up her bag and carried it up the stairs. Grandma watched him closely.

"Your husband might be a horse's ass but he has a fine backside of his own," Grandma loudly announced. Oh dear. It might be a long couple of days until I could convince Grandma to move back home.


	7. Chapter 7 - Life with Grandma

I woke up in the morning and checked my emails, trying to take account of my life. I had my Grandma living with me, my husband wanting to have a baby, my next lingerie line to create, and Grandma had eaten all of Ella's cookies last night.

The other side of the bed was empty, and I guessed that Dickie had gotten up hours ago. I heard noise downstairs and sighed. Time to see what Grandma was up to. At least I could smell coffee.

She was rummaging through the cupboards when I got downstairs.

"I was going to cook us breakfast but you seem to be out of food," Grandma said.

"Yeah, that happens. There's waffles in the freezer," I told her. The only other option was Dickie's super healthy cereal, and ick.

I made us waffles while Grandma poured the coffee, and we sat down to eat together.

"So, Grandma, what are your plans for the day?" I asked, hoping she was over her snit with Dad and was ready to move back home.

"I'm applying for a job as a bounty hunter," Grandma announced. I nearly choked on my coffee.

"You're what?"

"Your cousin Vinnie has a job opening. So I'm going to apply to be a bounty hunter. I think I'd be good at it. I have a gun and everything. Can you drive me to his office?" Grandma asked.

"A job opening? Did Joyce give up on being a bounty hunter?"

"No. His other bounty hunter is wanted for questioning for murder, and my sources at the beauty parlour say that no one can find him. Vinnie had bonded him out for a carrying concealed charge too, so Vinnie is going to be a real pickle. He's going to be grateful that I'm offering to help him."

Ranger. Grandma was talking about Ranger. I'd heard about his carrying concealed charge. It was a new police officer who was a stickler for the rules and didn't understand that most people around here were carrying concealed. I didn't know Ranger well but I wouldn't have expected him to be a murderer. I hoped that Morelli's friend was okay.

Driving Grandma to a job interview as a bounty hunter wasn't on my list of things to do this morning, but what the hell. It would be funny to watch. Hopefully Vinnie didn't actually give her the job. We loaded ourselves into my car and drove over to the Bonds office. I was hoping to get Grandma to visit mom after this.

I texted Val. _I have Grandma living with me and she wants to be a bounty hunter._

A return text came through a minute later _. Might be easier to cope with a baby rather than Grandma._ Thanks Val. Always so supportive.

I had a long shower, made a mental note of what I needed to get done that afternoon, then got ready to take Grandma to what she was calling her job interview. I figured the sooner she worked out it was unrealistic, the sooner she'd move back in with my parents.

I drove Grandma to the office of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds and made a note to stop at the Tasty Pastry afterwards. I was going to need sugar to get through the day.

I helped Grandma out of the car, then followed her into the office.

"I'm here to apply for a job as a bounty hunter," she announced to the receptionist. The receptionist smiled.

"I'll let Vincent know that you're here," she said, then glanced over to me, "Stephanie Plum! It's me, Connie Rissoli. You went to school with my sister Tina."

"Connie! Hello!"

"Oh and this is your Grandma? Vinnie! Get out here! It's your relatives," she yelled towards the back office.

A weasely head popped out of the office cautiously, then he relaxed when he saw who it was. Vinnie was a bit creepy. He was a sleaze, and was forever worried that his father-in-law would find out about some of his bad habits. His wife Lucille was lovely and my entire family had no idea what she saw in Vinnie. It kept Vinnie under control though – his father-in-law Harry the Hammer was rumoured to make people disappear, and Vinnie didn't want to upset Lucille in case that upset her father.

"Mrs Mazur, Stephanie. What a lovely surprise. What can I do for you?"

"I want to be a bounty hunter," Grandma told Vinnie. He paled.

"Well, I don't need any bounty hunters right now."

"Yes you do. You've got one on the run, I heard all about it at the beauty parlour. And you gave a job to Joyce Barnhardt. If she can do it, I can too. What does she have that I don't?" Grandma asked. Best not to think about that one. I glanced over at Connie, who looked like she was holding back laughter. There probably wasn't a lot of entertainment working at a Bail Bonds office.

"Well, your daughter wouldn't like it. And I don't want to upset Helen. Also, I don't think my insurance would cover someone of your age working for me," Vinnie said.

"Someone of my age? That's discrimination!" said Grandma.

"Well, ah, how about I give you a call if Joyce doesn't work out?" Vinnie offered.

"You should! I have my own gun and everything!" Grandma said, brandishing a gun that she'd pulled out of her handbag. We all ducked as she swung wide. Vinnie disappeared back into his office and closed the door. Grandma looked over at Connie and me as she tucked her gun back into her bag.

"Discriminating against old people. That's just not right. We need to work too," Grandma told Connie.

"We need a file clerk, but it involves a lot of bending down," Connie said.

"I can't do that, once I got down it would take me all day to get back up," Grandma said. Connie nodded.

"Thanks Connie," I said, taking Grandma by the hand.

"Anytime! Great to see you, Steph."

"Tell Tina that I said hi," I told Connie, dragging Grandma out of the door.

After that, I needed something with sugar, so we headed for the bakery. I parked outside and left Grandma in the car, choosing a cake quickly and ducking out again. I wasn't quite sure that Grandma could be left unsupervised without getting up to trouble.

When I came out of the bakery, Morelli was leaning against my car, chatting to Grandma.

"Hey Steph! What have you got there?" he asked, looking at the bakery box.

"A cake for my mother," I said, giving him a pointed look. With Grandma around was not the time for innuendo or references to cupcakes.

"That's not my favourite," he said. "What brings you to this side of town?"

"I applied for a job as a bounty hunter with Vinnie," Grandma told him. "On account of his other bounty hunter is on the run, and he's only got Joyce Barnhardt and everyone knows she can't catch anyone." Morelli barely reacted to that. I guess cops get to hear all sorts of surprising news.

"Is Ranger okay?" I asked Morelli.

"I haven't heard from him. He's not returning my calls."

"He didn't do it, did he? He didn't give off a murderer vibe."

"I don't think he did. I'm pretty sure he'd kill someone if he had a reason, but he had no reason to kill Homer Ramos, and he wouldn't have gotten caught on camera if he had," Morelli said.

That wasn't as reassuring as Morelli seemed to think it was.

Pulling up outside my parent's house was a bit strange with only my mother appearing at the door, even if it was because I had Grandma beside me. I looked over at Grandma. She looked like her mood was set to stubborn.

We sat down at the table and I pulled out the cake. My mother got plates for us.

"Are you ready to come home?" my mother asked Grandma.

"Stephanie and I are doing fine together," Grandma said. "Dickie is hardly ever home anyway, so Stephanie needs some company around. It must be hard to be in that big house all alone, with all its bathrooms."

I couldn't blame Grandma for that one. Sharing a bathroom with so many people was a hard thing, especially when everyone was home all day. I remembered it well from when I was a teenager, everyone trying to get ready all at once. So many family arguments would have been prevented with an extra bathroom.

We finished up the cake, and gave my mom a hug goodbye. She looked a bit lost. I told her that we'd visit again soon. I left out that we were in the neighbourhood because Grandma tried to get a job as a bounty hunter.

Once we were home, Grandma and I sat down, and I turned on the television for her and tried to find something for her to watch.

"I feel like a useless old woman," Grandma told me. "I used to look after your grandfather, and now I have nothing to do. There's only so much bingo I can play. And the senior centre is full of old people."

"Why don't you help me with my business? I'm trying to decide what an intergalactic space princess would wear in terms of lingerie," I told Grandma.

"Intergalactic space princesses don't wear underwear, everyone knows that," Grandma said. "Why don't you design some fun brassieres for us older gals that need some more support. All the bras for us are so boring and practical. We need something fun."

"That's actually not a bad idea," I said slowly. Grandma was right. Lingerie for older women was very conservative and boring. Grandma and I could work together to develop something that was familiar, yet more exciting. I thought about it while I did my usual packaging up boxes and stocktake. Plum Blossoms was going pretty well. It might be a good time to start a new line. I pulled out all my fabric samples from the first range and took them downstairs to the living room where Grandma was watching TV.

"These are all my fabric samples. I think we should create something for the older market. Have a look at these while I run to the post office and get lunch and see what you find fun. We can work on something," I said. Grandma's eyes lit up and I saw her eyeing off a hot pink fabric. I figured I'd have to tone down some of her choices but it would be great to have Grandma involved. And we needed a name.

I kept running through names in my head. Plum Vintage stuck out. Enough to convey that it might be for an older market, but not implying anything negative – Vintage was trendy, and in, and a good thing to be. It might work. I'd have to run it past Grandma.

Grandma and I developed a routine over the next week. We'd have breakfast together, work on our ideas, then I'd work while she watched TV, and then we'd have dinner together (sometimes with Dickie too), and then everyone would go to bed. I hoped that it would be boring enough to encourage Grandma back to The Burg, and it worked.

"Your house is too far away from all the nightlife," Grandma told me. By nightlife she meant funeral homes and the Seniors Centre. "Also I think your mother misses me."

"I think she does too," I said. Mom had taken to ringing every day to see what we were up to, and trying to entice me over with dessert.

I dropped Grandma back to my parents' house. When I left, Grandma was explaining to mom that she was now a lingerie designer with me, mom was looking like she wanted say "why me" and head for the ironing board, and I promised to return the next night for dinner and to see how everyone was.

I headed back into my gloriously empty house. Although I'd enjoyed Grandma's company, it was nice to have the house to myself again. Maybe Dickie would start coming home earlier now that Grandma was gone and he didn't have to be so jumpy around her. Ella was due to visit that afternoon and I was glad that I'd gotten Grandma out of the house before Ella arrived. Grandma might never have gone home if she'd met Ella.

Dickie must have good instincts because he appeared before dinner.

"Grandma's gone home," I told him.

"Oh good. I could hear her snoring even from the other side of the house," he said.

"It's quiet now that she's gone," I said. "I have a lot of work to catch up on."

"Have you thought any more about our discussion last week?" Dickie asked me.

"Why? Do you think a week of having a look after Grandma and make sure that another human being was looking after and didn't get into any trouble would encourage me to think having a baby was a good idea?" I asked him. He sighed, overly dramatically. Probably another thing that he'd been practising in the mirror.

"My parents invited us over for dinner tomorrow," I said, doing a subject change.

"I have a late meeting tomorrow," Dickie said. "But let's go out for dinner tonight and celebrate having the house to ourselves again."

We went out, we had wine, and then we celebrated having the house to ourselves again.

The next night I got out of my car outside my parents' house and started walking to the door when all of a sudden, I was nearly knocked down by a yellow blur. I heard a vaguely familiar voice yelling and grabbed on to the blur.

"Stop! Bad dog!"

I looked down. The yellow blur was a giant, fluffy, prehistoric looking dog. The familiar voice was Morelli yelling at the dog. A house, and now a dog. Morelli was trying to domesticate himself.

"When did you get a dog?"

"Someone at work was going to dump him at the shelter. I was thinking about getting a dog anyway. He's untrained though but he's learning quick, aren't you, Bob?"

"Bob?"

"He came with the name. And he knows his name so I don't want to change it. Life is confusing enough for him with all the changes," Morelli said. Bob perked his ears up when we said his name. He was kind of cute. Bob sniffed the air. I think he could smell pot roast.

The front door opened and my mother peered out.

"Stephanie! What are you doing out on the doorstep?" she asked me. "The neighbours will be talking."

"Good afternoon Mrs Plum," Morelli said smoothly. "I was just walking by with my dog and stopped to talk to Stephanie. I wouldn't want to interrupt your dinner plans, I know you weren't expecting company."

Sneaky Morelli. Those were magic words in the Burg, implying that my mother might not be company ready at all times. She sighed. My grandmother stuck her head past my mother.

"Well if it isn't the hottie detective. Are you staying for dinner? It's pot roast. And who is this? What a good dog," my Grandma said, admiring Bob.

"Would you care to join us for dinner, Joe?" my mother asked.

"If it's no trouble," Morelli replied.

"Of course it's no trouble! We have plenty. And it will be a real treat to have a young man at the table. Stephanie's husband couldn't make it, so you can have his place," Grandma said to Morelli. Joe looked across to me. I shrugged and nodded toward the door. This wasn't a scene that I could have pictured when I wasn't younger, but this was okay. I knew Morelli had his own large Italian family, so could handle a dinner with mine.

If my father was confused as to why I arrived with Morelli instead of Dickie, he didn't show it. He may not have even noticed. Or considering that Dickie wasn't Italian and my dad considered that a character flaw, he might have been pleased. Hard to tell seeing as he didn't react or speak except to ask us to pass the gravy.

Morelli just looked happy to have a meal that he didn't have to cook himself. Grandma tried interrogating Joe about recent murders in The Burg, especially the Ramos murder. Joe was cagey and managed not to answer any of her questions.

"I heard that Vinnie's bounty hunter is on the run," said Grandma.

"He didn't show up for his court date," Morelli said. It was common knowledge, so he wasn't telling Grandma anything that she didn't already know.

"How about that. A bounty hunter on the run. Of course, that leaves Vinnie a bit short-handed, so he'll be calling me any day about the job," Grandma said. My mother looked up.

"What job?"

"I applied for a job as a bounty hunter," Grandma told me. My mother looked over at the table to me. I knew that look. Banned from dessert again!


	8. Chapter 8 - Good life decisions

I had a phone call. It was my mother and she was frantic.

"Stephanie! I don't know what to do. It's Grandma – she just – she's fine, but I don't know – she bought a car, Stephanie! What do I do?"

"She – you know what, I'm just going to drive over okay, Ma? Be there soon."

I had no idea what was going on, but my mother sounded like she needed someone there before she ran out of ironing and starting hitting the whiskey.

When I was halfway there, my phone rang again.

"Don't bother coming around, I'm at my dealer's house," Grandma said.

"Your dealer?"

"Yes, my car dealer," Grandma said. A car dealer. That sounded better. I got the address from her and decided to meet her there. I pulled up outside the house. There were old people everywhere, so I headed in to find Grandma.

I found Grandma inside on a couch watching Star Trek.

"Stephanie!" she said when she saw me. "Do you want to see my new car? It's a total babe car."

"Stephanie! Whoa! This is your Grandma?" said the person next to car. I looked closely.

"Mooner!" Mooner and I had gone to school together. His real name is Walter Dunphy, but he was nicknamed Mooner due his space cadet nature. Mooner did a lot of drugs and wasn't always present. It didn't look like much had changed for Mooner over the years.

"Grandma, why don't you tell me more about this car?" I asked her.

"Well I was here at my Dealer's house, getting Metamucil on account of he's being shut down because this isn't like the old days and you can't sell things that have fallen off the back of a truck anymore, and I needed a way to get it all home, so I mentioned that to Mooner here, and he said that the Dealer had a car he needed to get rid of too. It's a red Corvette," Grandma told me.

"Is he a real car dealer?" I asked Grandma.

"Dude! He's THE Dealer," Mooner told me. "It's real harsh that he's being shut down. He's a real entrepreneur." Mooner looked thoughtful. "Also you totally know him. It's Dougie Kruper!"

"Dougie? I thought he died?"

"I know!" Mooner said, "Everyone thought that! But he's not!"

"I didn't die, I just moved to Arizona and wished that I had," said a voice behind us.

"Dougie!" I was so relieved that he wasn't dead that I jumped up and hugged him. He blushed.

"Do you want to see your Grandma's car?" he asked me. Dougie paused Star Trek and we walked outside to see the car, past seniors taking Metamucil boxes and the occasional person wandering past with a toaster, pair of jeans, or perfume in hand. Dougie looked a bit dazed by it all.

Grandma's car was a red Corvette. It looked fast. There was Metamucil boxes stacked inside.

"Have you done all the paperwork?" I asked Grandma.

"Paperwork?" she asked me.

"This car, ah, doesn't come with paperwork," Dougie said, shuffling his feet. "That's why it's such a good price."

Shit.

"What about the Buick?" I asked Grandma. "You already have a car."

"It's an old man's car. I need a babe car. The Buick isn't going to find me any hotties," Grandma said.

"Do you have a license still?" I asked Grandma.

"I don't need a license, I'm too old," Grandma said.

"I don't think that's how it works," I told her.

I could see why my mother rang me. I had no idea what to do with Grandma either.

"Could you go get your license?" I asked her. "You could get your permit, then you just need a licensed driver to go with you."

"Rose Taylor still has her license," Grandma said thoughtfully. "Maybe she can go driving with me."

"Good idea!" I said. "I just need to talk to Dougie inside for a minute, okay? Wait right here."

I went inside with Dougie to hatch a plan to keep Grandma from driving the car. I was sure that we could come up with something between us that would seem reasonable to Grandma and not make her feel like a useless old woman, but keep her safe on the road.

Dougie and I had just sat down in his kitchen when I heard a car start up from the backyard. I ran back outside, but the Corvette and Grandma were gone. Mooner was looking distracted, staring at a crack on the ground.

"Where's Grandma?" I asked him.

"Oh! She like, got in the car and drove off," Mooner said.

Shit. Shit! Now I knew how my mother felt.

I drove to my parents' house. Grandma wasn't there. I didn't want to go in. There'd be too many questions. I drove around, trying to find Grandma. I got a phone call from my cousin who worked at the DMV. The Burg network wins again. Grandma had been there applying for a permit, and had driven off on her own. Sarah was worried about her. I told her that I'd make sure that Grandma understood her permits worked. I drove back to my parents' house and saw a red Corvette parked outside. I drove off. Grandma was home safe, and I'd ring when I was safely back home and mom had a few hours to calm down.

Home was better. Home was quiet. Home contained quiche, and salad, and no Plum madness.

I didn't know what to do about Grandma driving around without a license. Could you even own a car without a license? Not that this car came with ownership papers anyway. I rang Dickie, but he didn't answer. I left a message asking him to call me back. I tried to focus on working, but worried about Grandma instead. Dickie had said he'd be in the office all day, so I decided to drive over and talk to him. He usually had a few minutes in between meetings when he could talk.

There was someone at Dickie's reception area, talking to Cynthia. He looked familiar, and when I got a closer look at his profile, I was sure it was Ranger. He had short hair, and was dressed in business clothes instead of his usual black getup, but I was sure it was him. Cynthia looked annoyed, but not in danger in any way. "I don't know anything," I heard her say. "I just want my car back."

I stepped back out into the hallway to wait. I didn't have to wait long before I heard footsteps coming.

"Ranger," I said quietly as he walked past. He looked at me and I could see a flare of recognition in his eyes. He continued past me into the stairwell and I darted after him before the door closed. He turned to look at me.

"You were with Morelli at the funeral home," he said.

"My name is Stephanie Plum. I'm Dickie Orr's wife," I told him. He went to keep walking. "Wait! I talked to Morelli yesterday. He's worried about you. Can you call him?"

"Morelli's a cop."

"He's your friend."

"Morelli must be a bit short on friends if he thinks we're friends," Ranger said. I kind of agreed with him. Morelli had befriended me and I'd run him down with a car.

"Vinnie is sending Joyce after you," I warned him. He laughed.

"Thanks for the warning."

"Don't let her catch you. I hate Joyce."

"I have no intentions of being caught, babe."

"Call Morelli, okay? He wants to help."

"Maybe I'll call him tomorrow."

"I think it would be a good life decision for you to call him."

"Your husband is working for an arms dealer. You might want to be making better life decisions at this point," Ranger said.

"I heard you're working for an arms dealer," I said to him. The Burg gossip vine was full of news about the Ramos family lately.

"I didn't claim to be making good life decisions," he said, looking me over. He looked like he was going to move closer, than shifted off the wall and disappeared down the stairwell.

Wait a minute, my husband was working for an arms dealer?

I went to open the door back to the office floor, but it didn't budge. Rats, locked out. Now I've got to walk down the stairs, and there was no chance I'd be able to catch up with Ranger. I trudged down the stairs, out the fire exit door, then back up in the lift to Dickie's office.

I walked in and smiled at Cynthia. "Hello, I was just nearby and decided to surprise Dickie. Is he in at the moment?"

"Sorry Ms Plum, Mr Orr is out in meetings all day and can't be disturbed," Cynthia said. "An emergency came up this morning that he needed to handle."

I thanked Cynthia, knowing that was all the information I was going to get from her (Cynthia hated small talk, gossip, and maybe also me). I walked out of the office, back to my car, and decided to go to my source of all official information and called Morelli.

"I saw Ranger," I told him when he answered, "he was in at Dickie's office talking to Cynthia, his receptionist. I told him to call you but I don't think that he will."

"Cynthia was dating Homer Ramos. He probably thought she had some information that he could use. Thanks for calling me, but Ranger will be long gone by now."

"He said that Dickie was working for an arms dealer. Does he mean Alexander Ramos?" I asked Morelli. He paused.

"You didn't know?"

"No! Of course I didn't know!"

"Geez. Okay. I thought you knew. I thought that everyone knew."

"I couldn't find Dickie. He's not answering his phone."

"Maybe he's with Ramos. He has a house in Deal," Morelli told me. Interesting. I hung up on Morelli, and then googled. How easy would it be to find the Ramos house in Deal? Google knew everything. Except why my husband thought it was a good idea to work for an arms dealer.

I started driving. An hour later I was driving slowly past a house by the beach that Google thought belonged to Ramos. I pulled over and opened my door, thinking about getting out of the car. Then I stopped. What was I doing? Stalking an arms dealer's house. Even if I found Dickie there, what would I do? March in and demand to see him? This wasn't a good plan.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice the old man until he was right beside the car. He quickly opened the passenger door and jumped in.

"Get going!" he yelled at me. I shut my door and stared across at him. Alexander Ramos! What had I gotten myself into? This was all Dickie's fault! Ramos gestured at me again and I put the car into drive and took off. Too late, I noticed men racing up his drive. I needed to get rid of Ramos before they found us. I hoped that they hadn't had a chance to get my license plate number.

My phone rang. I didn't recognise the number, but decided to answer anyway. I had an arms dealer in my car, so what was answering an unknown number.

"What do you think you're doing?"

The voice sounded familiar. Ranger.

"I'm trying to find my stupid husband," I said.

"You have Alexander Ramos in your car."

"How did you get this number?" I asked him.

"I have my sources," he told me. He sounded smug.

"Let me know if you find my husband," I told him, and hung up.

Stupid Ranger. Who did he think he was, Batman? Where the hell was he anyway, I hadn't spotted anyone watching but he was obviously out there somewhere. I was going to tell Morelli on him.

"You can't find your husband? What a bum. He's probably out cheating on you, but he'd have to be a stupid man to cheat on a beauty like yourself. Would you like to marry me? I need a new wife," Ramos told me.

"It's a tempting offer, you have a nice house," I told Ramos.

"And I wouldn't cheat on you. I'm too old for that now," Ramos told me.

"My husband isn't cheating on me, I'm just having trouble finding him," I told Ramos. "Also I'm a little mad at the moment, so maybe it's better that I can't find him. Maybe I should just go home and calm down."

"Drive me to a bar and I'll buy you a drink," Ramos said.

"I can't drink, I'm driving."

"You're no fun. Maybe I don't want you as a wife after all," he grumbled. I drove him to the bar he directed me to, then dropped him off out the front. Bye bye, arms dealer. Have fun. As I drove out, I saw a black car heading in my direction, with two men instead. Looks like I'd made my escape just in time.

My phone rang and I recognised the number this time. Morelli. I was so going to tell on Ranger. I hadn't been this eager to tattle since Joyce Barnhardt spat in my milk.

"Hello."

"Is he still in your car?"

"Who?"

"Ramos! Is he with you? Are you okay? Do you need help?" Morelli asked me.

"Omigosh! He tattled on me! Ranger tattled on me!" I said.

"Steph! Are you okay?" Morelli asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I dropped Ramos off at a bar after he proposed marriage, then reneged."

"What were you doing?" Morelli yelled.

"Looking for Dickie! Why are you surprised, you were the one who said he was probably out in Deal!" I pointed out to Morelli.

"I didn't think you'd go looking for him! Jesus! My stress levels."

"I didn't do it on purpose! He just jumped into the car!" I protested.

Morelli was sounding more like my mother every day. I made a note to stop inviting him over for dinner, she was obviously a bad influence on him.


	9. Chapter 9 - Maternal Instincts

Given the reaction of Ranger and Morelli to my visit with Alexander Ramos, I decided not to mention the activities of my day to Dickie. My interaction with Ramos had left me a bit jittery and apparently that made me channel a Burg housewife, because I had dinner waiting on the table when Dickie got home.

He got in a little after seven, looking a bit surprised to see me.

"I thought you'd be at your parents," he said.

"No, I had a long day, so I cancelled," I told him.

"Great!" he said, not sounding convinced. I wondered if there was a football game on television that he looking forward to watching alone.

"Is there a game on?" I asked him.

"No. No, it's fine. I've just got to go get changed, then I'll be back down. Dinner looks great," he told me, and disappeared upstairs.

When he reappeared a few minutes later we ate dinner together, and then moved to the couch to watch TV. I texted Mary Lou about her day. She said that Kenny convinced Mikey to eat dog food. On the bright side, at least one of her kids was an adventurous eater.

* * *

The next few weeks passed quietly for me. I heard from Mary Lou who heard it from our school friend Rita who heard it from Connie at the Bonds office that Ranger was no longer a suspect in the Ramos murder, mostly because Homer Ramos was found alive.

Grandma passed her license and spent the next five days constantly driving around. She also received enough tickets in those five days to lose her license.

She then decided that driving wasn't really worth it and the red corvette also conveniently disappeared. I suspected that Dougie might have had a hand in that.

I visited Mom and Grandma soon after the corvette disappeared. My mother had stopped constantly ironing, which was a good sign.

"I might have a date," said Grandma. "Exept I might not. I'm seeing Eddie DeChooch, but he's on the run from the law, so I'm not sure if our date is still on. It's fun dating an outlaw. It keeps you on your toes."

"Eddie DeChooch? What did he do?"

"Got caught smuggling cigarettes. Everyone does it. Anyway, it's that no good Joyce Barnhardt after him, and everyone knows she can't catch anyone," Grandma said. That was true. Joyce didn't manage to catch Ranger when he was FTA either.

"He's pretty safe if Joyce is after him, but Vinnie will send Ranger after him eventually," I said.

"That's true," Grandma said, "but the ladies at the beauty parlour will let me now when that happens."

I updated Mom and Grandma where my latest product line was up to, although I think of it of our latest line, since Grandma had so much input into it. I was hoping that Plum Vintage would be as much of a success as Plum Blossoms was, although all my profits went back into the business, something that Dickie grumbled about.

There was a knock on the door. My mother went to see who it was, and my Grandma brightened up. "Unexpected company!" she said to me. "That's always a treat."

I heard the door open, and then there was silence.

"Walter Dunphy?" I heard my mother ask. Mooner? I got up and headed for the door.

"Mrs Plum! It's totally awesome to see you!"

It was Mooner. Dressed in a purple spandex body suit with a silver M on the front.

"Mooner, what are you wearing?" I asked him.

"Do you like it? It's my SuperSuit. Dougie and I found a box of them in his attic. You can have one," he said.

"Why don't you come inside?" my mother said, pulling him inside and shutting the door. She took Mooner through to the kitchen and sat him down at the table with a coffee and plate of cookies. Then she looked at me and inclined her head towards the living room. I left Grandma talking to Mooner and followed her out.

"What is he wearing?" she asked me.

"I dunno. A SuperSuit? And before you ask, no, I don't know why."

"Do you think he's okay? Should we call his parents? I think he might be… you know, on drugs."

"Mom, he's been on drugs for most of the past twenty years. I think his parents know by now."

My mother didn't look convinced. I hoped that she wasn't thinking of having an intervention with Mooner. I could see her maternal instincts kicking in. Mine had trouble when Mooner around too. Something in me just wanted to look after him.

"We'd better not leave him alone with Grandma too long," I reminded Mom, and we went back into the kitchen. Mooner was eating cookies and looking thoughtful.

"So, any reason for the visit?" I asked Mooner.

"I was looking for you, Steph. I remembered your address from high school, and your granny here mentioned that you often visit and have lunch so I was hoping you'd be here. The Dougster has gone missing, and I thought you might be able to find him."

So much in that one speech.

"I'm not here all the time. I have my own life," I began with. Right. That'll convince him. "And what happened to Dougie?"

"I don't know. He just disappeared. I hope it wasn't aliens, or we'll never find him."

"I'm not really up on finding people. I'm a lingerie designer," I said.

"You're good at finding people. You totally found your Grandma when she was buying her car," Mooner said.

"That's because she called me and told me where she was," I said.

"Oh. Bummer."

"I could call Morelli," I offered. "He's a detective, so he's actually good at finding people." Mooner looked a little conflicted at that one. Mooner and Dougie didn't always have the best relationship with the police.

I called Morelli and broke the news that Dougie was missing. He suggested Dougie was on a bender. I reminded him it was Dougie, not Mooner. He sighed heavily. "I'm due my lunch break anyway, I'll meet you at Dougie's house in 10 to have a look around," he said.

I bundled Mooner into my car since he was a bit vague on how he'd arrived in the first place, said goodbye to Mom and Grandma, and left.

Morelli and Bob were waiting for us outside Dougie's house.

"Bob needed to be let out of the house or he eats things," Morelli said, by way of explanation. Mooner pushed open the front door.

"Stay here with Bob," Morelli told him. The two of us looked around the house. It was fairly normal downstairs. Upstairs was three bedrooms and a bathroom, the Burg staple of housing. Two bedrooms looked normal, the messiest obviously belonging to Dougie.

The third was filled with boxes from floor to ceiling. It looked kind of like my garage when my stock first came in, but less organised and with more crammed in there.

"Shit!" Morelli said, looking at the boxes. "Mooner, get up here!"

Mooner and Bob came bounding up the stairs.

"What is all this?" Morelli asked him.

"Oh that. The Dougster was working with someone. I dunno who. This is the other guy's stuff."

"Dougie is out on Bond for the possession of stolen property," Morelli reminded Mooner. "He can't get caught with stuff like this in his house." Mooner looked confused. "Make it disappear!" Morelli told him. Mooner concentrated. I think he was trying to beam it out using his mind.

"I'm going to check our databases, see if anyone matching Dougie's description has been found," Morelli told me. "But besides that, I don't know what to do. Mooner could report it, but he'll need to get rid of this stuff first. But either Dougie has wandered off, or his disappearance has something to do with all this stuff in here."

Our eyes met. The mob still operated in Trenton. I hoped that Dougie hadn't gotten mixed up in that.

Morelli said he'd keep me updated, then left with Bob. That was a serious side to Morelli that I hadn't seen before. He and I tended to bring out each other's immature sides, like we were back in high school again. I hadn't really seen Morelli's cop side before, although I had heard that he was a good cop. Even Ranger had said so.

I went back upstairs to check on Mooner. He'd opened one box.

"I don't know if I can smoke all these cigarettes," he told me.

"What?"'

"All these cigarettes. I don't know if I can make them disappear. That's a lot of smoking. It's not good for you."

"You smoke every day," I reminded him.

"Not tobacco. That stuff's not good for you," Mooner said.

I looked at the boxes. Then I remembered where I'd heard talk of cigarettes earlier today. Morelli wasn't going to be happy. I debated whether to call him now or later, then decided there was no point in putting it off. I said goodbye to Mooner, got in my car, and called Morelli on my way home.

"Hello?"

"Hey. So, Mooner opened up those boxes."

"And?"

"Aaaaannnd they're all filled with cigarettes."

"Cigarettes?"

"Yes. And my Grandma mentioned earlier that she's dating Eddie DeChooch except he's an FTA because he ran out on his Bond which he got after being arrested for-"

"Smuggling cigarettes," Morelli finished.

"Oh. You already knew," I said, disappointed.

"I'm a cop, I know everything."

"Carl and Big Dog don't know everything," I countered with.

"I'm a good cop, I know everything," Morelli said. Morelli also lived for work and had no life, although I decided not to remind him of that.

I pulled into my garage. What a day. I'd missed lunch, so I headed for the fridge and grabbed a random assortment of snack foods, then sprawled on the couch. I was worried about Dougie. And also a little about Mooner being left unsupervised. Maybe my biological clock was starting to tick. Was I feeling clucky? I rang Mary Lou to check. She asked me how I felt about babies. I felt that they were noisy and smelly. Mary Lou said that it wasn't my biological clock then.

I decided to take a nap, and woke up in time to be a good wife and prepare dinner for my husband. Dickie was working on a big case again, but I was hopeful he would at least be home for dinner. I was preparing dinner, aka heating up food I'd lovingly purchased from the deli, when my phone rang. Morelli.

"We have a problem," he told me.


	10. Chapter 10 - Unexpected visitors

I decided to take a nap, and woke up in time to be a good wife and prepare dinner for my husband. Dickie was working on a big case again, but I was hopeful he would at least be home for dinner. I was preparing dinner, aka heating up food I'd lovingly purchased from the deli, when my phone rang. Morelli.

"We have a problem," he told me.

* * *

Oh no. There couldn't be a good reason that Morelli was calling so soon.

"Dougie?"

"Well the good news is that there's no one matching his description in the hospitals, and he hasn't floated in on the tide yet. The bad news is that I went over to Eddie DeChooch's house in case he had Dougie tied up in his basement, and I found a dead body in his garden shed."

My heart dropped. "Not Dougie?"

"No, a woman. Not Dougie. But it means that Dougie could be involved in some serious business. I'm getting worried."

Getting worried? A dead body and Morelli isn't fully worried yet? That settles it, I could never be a cop. I worry too quickly.

"What do we do?" I asked him.

"I'm going to ask around and see what I can find out. Let me know if you hear any gossip about what might have happened to Dougie."

"Will do," I said, hanging up. I was so engrossed in my worry over Dougie that I didn't notice that Dickie was home until he leaned over to kiss me hello. I yelped, jumping away.

"Dickie! You scared me! I didn't hear you come home."

"You were on the phone. Who were you talking to?" he asked me.

"Oh, just Morelli. A friend of ours has gone missing and," I started explaining when he cut me off.

"Did he call you or did you call him?"

"What? He called me. Why?"

"I don't like that he's calling you all the time, Steph. Why does he need to call a married woman for? I think he's trying to cause trouble."

I wanted to laugh. Morelli didn't need to try to cause trouble. Morelli and trouble went together in my life.

"He's helping me, Dickie. A friend of mine, Dougie, has gone missing."

"Dougie? Is he the one who sold your Grandma the stolen car?"

"We don't know for sure that it was stolen."

"How do you get mixed up in this stuff, Steph?"

"I don't know, just lucky, I guess," I said flippantly, serving myself up some of the curry I'd heated, and taking more than my fair share of naan bread. If Dickie was going to be such a – well, a dick – then he didn't deserve naan bread.

* * *

The next night we were due to have dinner with my parents. Dickie drove there straight from work and managed to beat me there. By the time I got inside, he was sitting in the living room with a glass of wine, trying to chat to my father, who was trying to ignore him and watch TV.

I kissed them both hello, then walked through to the kitchen to say hello to my mother, and noticed an extra place setting at the table.

"Who is coming to dinner?" I asked.

"Your grandmother has invited someone," Mom said. "I don't know who. Probably someone from the seniors centre, but she won't say." I looked over at Grandma and there was a gleam in her eye that I didn't like. Mom finished stirring the gravy and transferred it into a gravy boat at the same time the doorbell rang.

"That'll be my date!" Grandma said, getting up and moving swiftly toward the door.

"Pot roast is ready!" my mother called out, moving the food to the table. My father appeared and sat down at his spot, and Dickie came into the room after him. I started carrying dishes over too, then was nearly knocked down by a fast-moving blonde blur. Bob? What was he doing here?

Then I understood why Grandma had a gleam in her eye. She walked into the room, followed by Morelli.

"I saw Detective Morelli down near the beauty parlour today and he was looking underfed," Grandma announced. "The poor man doesn't have a woman to look after him, so I invited him to dinner as my date. Now I have a hottie as a date too, not just Steph."

My mother looked a bit confused, then I swear that I saw her roll her eyes.

"Detective Morelli," Dickie said, apparently deciding that was enough of a greeting. He did not look happy, even with Grandma referring to him as a hottie, which would normally cheer him up. I put my hand out and squeezed his leg under the table.

"Hi Joe," I said. We all settled down around the table, except for Bob who was banished to a corner of the room. My father looked up, assessed the situation, and helped himself to an extra serve of potatoes.

I was glad that Dickie and Joe were at opposite ends of the table. I wasn't really sure why Joe accepted my grandmother's invitation. I'm not sure if it would be more because it meant he didn't have to cook, or because he knew it would annoy Dickie.

"How is your family, Joseph? Is your mother and grandmother well?" my mother asked.

"They are, thank you. My sister has a new baby, so my mother is busy helping her with the older children," Joe said.

My mother sighed. "I miss Valerie and the girls," she said. "Why don't I have grandchildren living nearby? Steph, when are you going to have children?"

"I've been asking the same thing, Helen. Steph said that she wants to focus on her career first," Dickie said. Disloyal husband. Joe looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"Career? You design lingerie. You work from home. Why couldn't you do that with a baby?" my mother asked.

"I want to wait until my company is up and running," I explained.

"I said that I would support us, but you know Steph, she's determined to be a career woman," Dickie said.

"Oh!" Grandma said suddenly. "Speaking of Valerie, she called earlier today. But I'm not sure what she said, there was a lot of noise in the background. She called while I was watching the wrestling, so I'd forgotten until now."

I hadn't heard from Val in almost a week, I realised. That wasn't unusual but we'd been a bit better at keeping in touch lately. I made a note to text her after dinner and see how she was.

"How is work?" my mother asked Dickie. Dickie's work was a bit of a touchy subject between us since I found out that his clients included Alexander Ramos, but I'd never found a way to broach the subject properly since finding that out had ended up with me having Ramos in my car. Sometimes I almost managed to convince myself that Ranger was wrong about Dickie working for Ramos. Dickie had political aspirations, and working for Ramos didn't align with that.

Dickie nodded, and put on a confident, charming smile. "It's going well, thank you," he said. He started chatting away, updating everyone on the firm he was working for and their plans for expansion.

My grandmother was staring out the front window. From her seat she had a good view out to the street. My family always kept the front curtains open during dinner, all the better to monitor the neighbourhood comings and goings.

"There's a taxi outside the house," she said. "And how odd, there's someone who looks like Valerie getting out."

"It is Valerie!" my mother said. To be fair, Val went blonde when she moved to California so it was no wonder that Grandma didn't recognise her from a distance. Her two girls looked like miniature Vals although I knew from past experience that Angie was a mini Val personality-wise, Mary Alice had a good dose of her Aunt Steph in her. Mom jumped up and rushed to open the door. Valerie and her girls came inside, with piles of bags. That looked like a lot of bags. Uh oh.

"This is so nice to see you!" my mother said. "I had no idea you were coming. Come in, sit down. We can find some more chairs."

"Didn't Grandma tell you that we were coming?" Val asked.

"No, she forgot. But this is such a lovely surprise. I was just saying how much I missed you," my mother said. "How long can you stay for?"

"Until I find a house, I guess," Val said.

"You're moving back to New Jersey? Did Steve get transferred?" my mother asked. Val burst into tears.

"Steve left us," she said. I jumped up to give her a hug. "Oh Steph," she said. "It's been awful. I just wanted to come home."

My father looked panicked. I could see him assessing the number of people in the house versus the number of toilets and not liking the answer.

"I have my time in the bathroom first thing in the morning," he said firmly. Val looked confused. Mary Alice neighed loudly.

"Come and stay with me," I told Val. "We'd love to have you and the girls stay with us, and we have the room."

Dickie looked like he was trying to telepathically tell me something. Probably something like hey, Steph, we just got rid of your Grandma, what are you doing? One of those kids thinks she's a horse and they're very noisy. I sent him back a look. You wanted kids, now you've got them.

Morelli looked around the table.

"This looks like a family matter," he said, standing up and gesturing for Val to sit down in his chair. "Thank you for having me, I'll see myself out."

"No – wait – I, ah, just," my mother said, clearly having trouble putting thoughts together.

"I'll get you some cake to go," I told Morelli, going into the kitchen and cutting us both a large piece of cake. I walked him to the front door and handed over the cake.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help Val out," Morelli said.

"Thanks," I told him, giving Bob a goodbye pat as I ate my cake.

He was walking across the sidewalk to his car when a car slowed, drifted over to the kerb and pulled in just behind Morelli's car. The driver's side door opened and Mooner tumbled out. Bob bounded out into the road and licked Mooner's face.

"Dude!" he said, as Morelli helped him up. "Someone totally shot me!"

In between "Dudes!" and "No way!" we managed to get a story out of Mooner. He'd been at home when a car had driven by, paused outside and shot at the house, hitting Mooner in the head in the process. I wasn't sure if he needed to go to the hospital or not. I didn't have a lot of experience with bullet wounds, but Morelli didn't seem to be concerned.

"Stephanie, what are you doing out there?" Dickie said, coming outside. "It's getting fairly dramatic inside."

"Dickie, this is Mooner, he's Dougie's friend. Dougie is the one who is missing," I said to Dickie.

"Nice to meet you," Dickie said to Mooner.

"Dude," Mooner said in response, holding on to his head.

"We'd better get Mooner out of here before my mother sees him," I told Morelli. "She's got enough going on at the moment."

"Dude. I can't go home. It's not safe," Mooner said. I looked over at Dickie.

"We've already got Val and the kids," he said.

"I've got Bob," Morelli said.

"Bob will love Mooner. He'll be great company for him," I told Morelli. Bob looked happy at that, but Bob looked happy most times people said his name. Bob was a fairly happy dog.

My mother appeared in the doorway.

"Stephanie? What's going on? I thought Joe had left. And who is that with you? Is that Walter Dunphy?"

"Hello Mrs Plum!" Mooner said, waving happily.

"Sorry to worry you, Mrs Plum, we got carried away catching up," Morelli said. Then he sighed, bundled Mooner and Bob into his car, and drove off.


	11. Chapter 11 - Looking on the perky side

I walked back inside the house. Grandma was eating cake, my father was looking lost, Val and my mother were crying, Mary Alice was running around neighing, and Angie was sitting primly at the table, probably wondering how this became her life.

Dickie followed me in and gestured. I sighed. "Why don't you take their bags in your car and go home, and we'll meet you there?" I said. "The girls can sleep in the guest room, and Val can have the fold-out couch in my office."

"Okay. I'll get it all set up. Good luck," he said, kissing me and disappearing into the hall to tackle the mountain of bags.

That man will do anything to get out of an emotional scene.

"But I thought that you two were perfect together," my mother said.

"I did too," Val cried.

I decided to take control. I managed to stop my mother and Valerie from their sobbing, and bundled Val and the girls into my car. My mother came after us with leftovers and cake, which I gratefully accepted. I think that Val and I were going to need a lot of cake.

The girls were quiet and I decided to go through the McDonalds drive thru on the way home since I wasn't sure that they'd eaten anything at my parent's house.

Angie and Mary Alice were looking tired. Mary Alice had even stopped galloping and was walking like a little girl. After they'd finished their Happy Meals, I took them upstairs and tucked them into our spare bedroom.

"Good night, Aunt Stephanie," said Angie.

"Good night, Aunt Steph, I'm glad we're with you," said Mary Alice. I gave her an extra squeeze. This had to be hard and confusing on the girls.

I checked on Dickie. He was hiding in his office.

"Is everything okay?" he asked me.

"I just put the girls into bed in the guest room. Thank you for getting it ready for them. Val is downstairs, I'm going to go talk to her."

"Okay. I've just got some work to finish off," he said.

I left him to his hiding and went downstairs to find Val. She was sitting on the sofa, staring off into the distance. I went into the kitchen for cake and brought us both out a piece.

"I'm sorry again about Steve," I told her.

"Oh Steph," she said. "I haven't even told you the worst of it. He left because he was cheating on me with our babysitter. Our eighteen year old babysitter. And then I got a call from the mortgage company saying that our payment failed, and there was no money left in our back account. Steve took all the money out of the account. He knew all about offshore accounts through our work and I think he's moved all our money to the Bahamas and gone over there."

"Oh no!" I said, appalled.

"So now I have to sell the house but I won't get anything back after the mortgage is paid back – Steve had mortgaged it for investing. And there's no money. What do I do? I haven't worked since the girls were born. I'm going to have to live with mom and dad forever." She burst into tears again. I didn't blame her. The thought of having to live with our parents forever made me want to cry too.

Val seemed like she had a perfect life California. I guess that no one's life was as perfect as it seemed. Val and I ate our cake while she talked.

"I had no idea that anything was wrong. I mean, Steve was at work a lot, at least that's what he said, but that wasn't unusual. He worked a lot. And he encouraged me to take the girls out and do things without him but – I later found out that was because he invited her over while I wasn't in the house, when he told me he was catching up on work from home. I feel like I should have known but I had no idea," Val said.

"You couldn't have known, Val, I mean Steve's a smart guy and he wanted to hide it from you," I said.

"I was so trusting. He handled all the money, I didn't pay any attention to it. Oh Steph. What will I do?"

"Why don't you go to bed now? There's a sofa bed in my office, you can sleep there. We can work out what to do in the morning," I said. While Val took a shower, I half tidied my office and pulled out the sofa bed for her, then went to get ready for bed myself. It wasn't late but it had been a long night.

I got into bed beside Dickie and snuggled up beside him. I gave him the update on what Val had told me. He was strangely quiet.

"I just can't believe it. How could Steve do that to Val and the girls? How could he do that to his family?" I asked. Dickie made a non-committal sound.

"You don't know why people do what they do, Steph," he said.

"It's just wrong, Dickie. I thought Steve was a good guy. Good guys don't do that to their wives," I said.

Dickie shifted, turning away. "I'm tired. I need to sleep," he said, turning his light off. I tried to sleep but tossed and turned for a bit. I felt so sad for Val.

* * *

The next morning, Dickie was already gone when I woke up, as usual. It was Saturday but Dickie didn't tend to do weekends and he definitely didn't do sleeping in. I reluctantly got out of bed, showered and went to check on the girls. They were still asleep. I went downstairs and got the coffee going.

I was sitting down with toast and coffee when I heard a noise on the stairs. I looked up, expecting to see the girls and not really prepared for what I saw in front of me. Val was coming down the stairs, dressed in a bright skirt and top, hair and make-up done.

"Good morning," she said chirpily.

I was still a bleary eyed and it took me a few seconds to focus.

"Uh… good morning," I said.

"I thought I'd come down and make pancakes. Doesn't it seem like a wonderful morning for pancakes?"

"It does?"

"I woke up and thought, now, Val, no point in being a gloomy gus. Things will turn out all right, you'll see. Now I just need to look on the bright side! Like, I get to be back in New Jersey with my family. And I don't have to clean that big house anymore. And… I can do anything I want! Like… wear purple nail polish! Isn't that great?"

Bless Val. I was glad that she was trying to look on the bright side but it was too early for me.

My phone rang. Morelli.

"Hello?"

"He's driving me crazy. And I need to go to work. You need to look after him."

"Bob?"

"No! Mooner! Bob is easy compared to Mooner. He keeps humming and he's all twitchy."

"He's twitchy? That doesn't sound like Mooner. He's usually more mellow."

"I flushed all his drugs down the toilet."

"That'd explain it then," I said.

"You need to babysit. I'm dropping him off," Morelli said, and hung up before I could say anything. Damn it.

"Morelli's going to drop Mooner over here for the day," I told Val.

"Walter Dunphy? I haven't seen him in years! Why is he staying with Morelli?" Val asked, stirring pancake batter. She'd also been humming. Maybe she'd get along with Mooner. She could bake and hum, and he could eat and hum.

I wondered where to start with explaining to Val why Mooner was coming here.

"Well, Mooner's friend Dougie is missing. And Dougie was working with Eddie DeChooch who Grandma is dating. Anyway, Eddie is a FTA which a Failure To Appear which is a fugitive because he was arrested for smuggling cigarettes, and we thought he might know where Dougie went. But then Morelli found a dead body in Eddie's shed, so now Eddie is on the run from that too. And we still haven't found Dougie. Then last night Mooner showed up outside the house saying that someone had shot him, so Morelli took him home for his own safety."

"I see…" Val said slowly. She looked like she might be taking "get to move back to New Jersey" off her list of good things. Probably things like that didn't happen in the gated community that she lived in with Steve. Probably only white collar crimes like emptying bank accounts into offshore accounts. Then she shook it off, perked herself up again and started cooking pancakes. You go, Val. Especially with those pancakes.

The pancake smell must have encouraged the girls to wake up, because they soon appeared down the stairs. Val gave them both a kiss, then poured them orange juice and put pancakes in front of them. She made looking after children look so effortless.

Val had just finished the second batch of pancakes and we were sitting down to eat when there was a knock on the door. I sighed.

"That'll be Detective Morelli, expert food blood hound," I said, and got up to let them in.

"Good morning," Val chirped as they came in the door. Morelli looked surprised. He probably didn't realise that chirpy and stoic run in my blood line. He dragged Mooner in behind him. Mooner looked like he was trying to escape or make himself invisible.

"Hello Val," Morelli said, pulling Mooner into a seat at the table. The girls stopped eating and looked up.

"Angie, Val, do you remember Joe from last night at Grandma's house? This is Joe, he's a friend of mine, and he's a police detective," I told the girls. Joe smiled at them. He could be alarmingly charming when he wanted to be, and he switched into unthreatening Uncle Joe mode. He'd had plenty of practise with his nieces and nephews.

Joe sat down next to Mooner and Val got up and served both up a plate of pancakes.

"Whoa, thanks Valerie," Mooner said, blushing a little. I guess Mooner had a leftover high school crush going on.

"This looks amazing, Val," Joe said. I thought about telling her that he loved any food that he didn't have to cook himself, but kept quiet. Val thanked them both, then sent the girls upstairs to wash their hands and brush their teeth.

"How much longer do you think we'll have to babysit Mooner?" I asked Morelli.

"Eddie DeChooch won't be out for too much longer," Morelli said. "Vinnie will get tired of Joyce not being able to find him, and Ranger is back now, so Vinnie will give DeChooch to him. Once that happens, we can try to get some answers out of DeChooch."

"Ranger is back?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think he got back yesterday. He's not big on details. But he agreed to let us question DeChooch if he brings him in," Morelli said.

"Who is Ranger?" Val asked. I looked at Morelli. How to describe Ranger? Tall, dark and handsome? That didn't seem to cover it. Tall, deadly and handsome? Possibly actually Batman? Someone who Morelli thought I should stay away from. Someone who I hadn't seen since he told me that my husband works for an arms dealer. Someone who doesn't get easily ruffled but was worried enough about me in Deal to call Morelli.

"He's Vinnie's bounty hunter," Morelli said. That too.

"Vinnie's good bounty hunter," I added.

"Yeah Joyce Barnhardt can't bring anyone in, everyone knows that," Mooner said, looking up from his pancakes. He looked a bit calmer after the pancakes.

"Joyce Barnhardt is a bounty hunter? Interesting," Val said.

"Well, I've got to get to the station. I'll be back to get Mooner later," Morelli said. He turned to give Mooner a pointed look. "No drugs, no leaving the house."

I got up to walk Morelli to the door.

Mooner relaxed as Morelli headed out the door. I'm guessing it was hard for him to be in the presence of a cop all the time. The girls came back down and we settled them and Mooner in front of the television. Val started rummaging through the cupboards – it seemed that her perky outlook on life involved a lot of stress baking. At least we had Mooner here to help eat our way through it all.


	12. Chapter 12 - Morelli gets angry

_Thank you to everyone who has submitted a review. I get a kick out of all of them! Thank you so much for reading._

* * *

Once Val had baked choc chip cookies and a batch of brownies, and Mooner and the girls were deep in _Frozen_ , Val and I took a cup of coffee each and sat down to talk.

"I need to stay focused," Val said. "Just keep moving. Stay positive."

"Okay. So what do you think you need to do first?" I asked her.

"I guess I need to find a job, and to enrol the girls in school, and then find my own place. It all just seems so overwhelming. I don't know anything about the schools here. The girls were in a really good school back home."

I thought for a minute. I didn't know anything about schools.

"You could help me with Plum Lingerie to start. I mean, I can't pay much, but it will give you recent work experience. I could call Mary Lou to get advice on schools, I'm sure she knows all about them. And she'd love an excuse to come over and get out of the house."

I gave Mary Lou a call and half an hour later she was sitting at the table with us, the boys added to the lounge room movie watching, chocolate chip cookies in hand. Mary Lou gave Val the run down on the local schools.

"I think I'd like to live in The Burg," said Val. "Even if I do have to live with Mom and Dad for a while. I know it will be crowded, but I would be nice to be somewhere familiar."

"There's a duplex coming up for rent soon!" Mary Lou said excitedly. "The Olsens down the street from me are moving to Florida, and they're planning to rent their house out while they decide whether to move their permanently or not."

"Mary Lou lives two streets over from Mom and Dad," I reminded Val.

"That would be perfect. The girls could go to the local school, then Mom could pick them up if I'm working," Val said excitedly. She got up and started making lunch for everyone. Apparently Val expresses emotions through chirpiness and preparing food.

The four kids and Mooner came up to the table for lunch. I heard the garage door open and close and waited for Dickie to enter in the kitchen. He looked surprised at all the extra people in the house.

"Hi Dickie!" Mary Lou said happily. He switched into charming mode.

"Well hello Mary Lou, Kenny, Mikey. It's good to see you." He sat down and ate lunch with us, then disappeared upstairs, saying something about work. Val, Mary Lou and I sat the table and talked while the kids and Mooner ate snacks and watched TV all afternoon.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Val went to answer it and came back with Joe.

"Hey the whole gang's here. Hello Mary Lou," he said. He inclined his head towards the door when he saw Mooner – time to go, Mooner. Mooner sighed and got up and ambled out the door. "There's no updates on Dougie. I'll call you when I think of another plan," Morelli said, then left.

"Gee, it's five o'clock already! I've got to get home," Mary Lou said. "It was so great to see you, Val. I'll let you know what the Olsens say about renting their place out. We could be neighbours!" She gathered her boys up and left.

Dickie wandered in once it was safely quiet. "Steph, do we have any plans for dinner? I feel like Thai food. There's a new place that opened up near my work, I thought we could try that."

"Sure. Do you want to order first?"

"Nah, I don't have a menu. I'll go there and order and just wait. Do the girls like to eat early? I'll go now," Dickie said, gathered his keys, and left. Val started wiping up the kitchen table, and I checked on the girls. They were looking a bit bored, and asked if we could go for a walk around the neighbourhood. It was still light outside, so I decided some fresh air would do us all good. Val told them to go upstairs and change into their sneakers, and they scurried off.

There was a knock on the door. I opened it, with Val close behind. When I opened it, I saw Eddie DeChooch there. He was dating my Grandma and had seen like a harmless old man, maybe one who used to be in the mob, but was probably all talk no action. That was until he showed up on my doorstep, pushed past me into my house and then waved a gun in my face.

"Where is he? I know he's in here," DeChooch said. Val and I looked at each other, then inched away from him. Angie and Mary Alice were upstairs, but they'd be down any minute now.

"Dickie? He left to go pick up dinner," I said.

"No, not the horse's ass," DeChooch said. Thanks for that one Grandma. "The little fruit, the space cadet."

"Mooner?" Val asked.

"That's the one. The one who is friends with the one who stole from me. I want him."

"He's not here," I said.

"Of course he's here! I saw the cop drop him off earlier, and everyone else left but he didn't," DeChooch said.

"Uh, Morelli already came to pick him up," I told DeChooch. "He picked him up around five o'clock."

"Damn it!" DeChooch said. "I had to take a leak around then and took a break. That always happens to me, bad things happen when I have to take a leak. It's my prostate. It's getting old. It's really getting in the way of businesses."

"So, um, what does Mooner have that you need?"

"Not Mooner! The other one! He stole from me and I need it back," DeChooch said.

"Dougie? I thought you knew where he was. He's disappeared," I said.

"Well, find him. Or you'll be sorry!" DeChooch said.

"Why does everyone think that I can find people all of a sudden?" I asked. "I'm not a private detective, I'm a lingerie designer. I don't go around finding people!" DeChooch turned and waved the gun in my face. Good one, Steph. Make the old mobster angry. That's going to end well. I put my hands up in what I hoped was a soothing manner.

"Just find him, or it won't end well," DeChooch said, and grumpily walked away. I guess he needed to pee again. I took a deep breath and turned to look at Val. She whimpered. Welcome back to Jersey, Val.

I pulled out my phone and called Morelli.

"DeChooch was here and he pulled a gun on me," I said.

"Are you okay?" Morelli asked instantly. He sounded worried.

"We're all okay. Just a bit shaken up. He wanted Mooner. I said he wasn't here. I think I told him that you had him. I'm sorry," I said. Maybe I shouldn't have told DeChooch where Mooner was because I wanted him out of the house and away from the girls.

"Don't worry about it, DeChooch is scared of my Grandma, he won't come here. And anyway, Mooner is driving me insane. He keeps humming and we're trying to watch the game. If DeChooch showed up now, I'd probably hand him over," Morelli told me.

"You don't mean that, do you?" I asked. I was a bit worried about Mooner this was getting serious.

"I'm honestly not sure," Morelli said. "Hey, Steph, don't worry about DeChooch, okay? I'm going to call Vinnie and get him to hand it over to Ranger. This is getting out of hand now."

I felt relieved that Ranger was going to get involved. I still wasn't entirely sure what his skillset was because being a good looking man of mystery, but I was certain that DeChooch wouldn't intimidate him.

I was still thinking about the man of mystery when Dickie returned with Thai food, and my thoughts changed.

* * *

The next morning, Val and the girls wanted to visit my parents. I dropped them off and decided to go and see Morelli and Mooner. I pulled up outside Morelli's house to see him come out the front door and head towards his truck. He looked mad. I felt a bit nervous. I could push and push Morelli, and get nothing more than an annoyed smirk. I wasn't sure how far you'd have to push him to get this reaction. He saw me and inclined his head towards his truck. I got out of my car and went to join him.

"Mooner's gone missing. I was actually worried about him. Luckily my neighbour saw him get into a car and recognised the drivers, they're friends of DeChooch's. My grandmother knows where their social club is and I bet they've taken him there because otherwise they'd have to explain it to their wives."

We drove a few blocks over and pulled up outside a brick building. Older model American cars were parked outside, my father would approve. Morelli strode up to the front door, bristling with anger. I guess being a cop and knowing you could legally carry gave you extra confidence. He banged on the door.

"Tell Ziggy and Benny that I don't appreciate them having kidnapped my houseguest," Morelli said. The guy who answered looked like he'd stepped out of as mob movie. He nodded, closed the door and then opened it again a minute later.

"Benny says that it doesn't want to talk to you."

"Tell him it's Joe Morelli."

"He's still not going to want to talk to you. Cops don't scare us especially not ones that we remember from when they were peeing in diapers."

"If he doesn't return my guest within two minutes, I'm going to set his car on fire," Morelli said, gesturing to a dark sedan nearby. I was watching with fascination. I'd never seen Morelli this close to losing his temper. Even when I ran him over with the Buick, he looked slightly amused, like he'd been waiting for that to happen. Morelli was angry. He pulled a lighter out of his pocket.

"Benny says if you do that, he's going to have to kill you, and also he's going to tell your Grandma on you," said the guy at the door.

"I'm her favourite grandchild, and you came into my street and kidnapped a guest from my house. My Grandma is going to put THE EYE on you and that's going to be the least of your worries," Morelli yelled up at the house. He walked over to his truck, pulled a rag out of the back, and then walked over to Benny's car. I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen next but I was sure that Morelli was angry enough to blow up an old man's car.

The door to the social club was opened again and Mooner was pushed outside.

"Dude," he said to us.

"This isn't the good old days!" Morelli yelled at the house. "You can't go around kidnapping people."

We put Mooner into the truck between us and he got the giggles and giggled all the way home. Looks like all Joe's hard work of Mooner rehab had been wasted. We got home and I put Mooner inside on the couch with Bob. Joe was still outside when I went back out.

"Shit!" Morelli said, and kicked his truck.

"It's okay, Joe, Mooner's all right. It's okay," I reminded him. He sighed.

"I hate getting angry. It reminds me of my father. I just… those old guys believe that they're above the law. And mostly they get ignored because they're harmless, but they're actually helping Eddie DeChooch. He's running around shooting people, and threatening people, and they're hiding something, I know it."

"You'll work it out, Joe. You're a good cop."

"Vinnie hasn't handed DeChooch over to Ranger yet. He says he can't do the paperwork until Monday. And Ranger refuses to work with Joyce. Be careful, okay?"

"If he doesn't like Joyce, I like Ranger even more. Even if he is a tattle-tale," I told Morelli.

"I'm pretty sure he'd kill you if he heard you calling him that," Morelli said.

Hmmm. Note to self – no calling Ranger a tattle-tale. Even if he totally was.


	13. Chapter 13 - taking action

_Sorry about the shorter chapter. I'm having computer troubles and wanted to do an update so I didn't keep everyone waiting for too long._

* * *

It was Ella day. That's what Mondays were known as in my house. Luckily Ella was capable of handling anything so I knew my extra house guests wouldn't put her out. She might even be excited by the extra people to make cookies for.

Val borrowed my car to take the girls to enrol in their new school, and I decided to ride my bike over to Dickie's office to ask him what to do about Val's money situation. Stupid Steve. I got lucky and Dickie was at his desk, in between appointments, and no arms dealers in sight. Last time I was here was when I'd seen Ranger, and I half expected him to be there again.

Dickie wasn't receptive to my asking him to help Val out with her divorce.

"I'm a corporate lawyer, Steph, not a divorce lawyer. Val needs someone who specialises in that area."

"Then who do you know who is a divorce lawyer?" I asked Dickie. "You know, the sooner we get Val access to money, the sooner she can move out of our house. Or do you want Mary Alice to turn it into a barn?" He sighed, then thought about it, opened his desk draw and flicked through a few business cards.

"Try David. I went to law school with him. That's his area. He's pretty good," Dickie said. I thought that Val needed better than pretty good, but I took the card, thanked him and headed home.

I rang David, who I'd met a few times before when I'd gone along to events with Dickie. He asked me for an outline of Val's story.

"To be honest, I don't have room for another case at the moment," David said, "but I do have a colleague who would be perfect. She lives for this sort of stuff. Her first husband cheated on her and tried to hide their money. Her name is Rebecca. Give her a call."

A few phone calls and name dropping later, and Val had an emergency appointment later that afternoon.

* * *

I felt productive, and had just settled down into my office to get my work for the day done when my phone rang again. I checked who was calling. Morelli.

"Hello?"

"Is Mooner with you?"

"No, why?"

"I went home for lunch and he wasn't there. The front door was unlocked, but Bob was still inside, so I'm hoping he just wandered off. I thought he might have headed to your house for more brownies. Let me know if he shows up, okay?" Joe asked. I agreed and crossed my fingers that Mooner just had the munchies after his binge yesterday.

* * *

Val and I showed up at the appointment early and were ushered through right on time. Rebecca was enthusiastic about the case. The biggest issue was money – Val didn't have any. I agreed to cover the start of it with the last of my redundancy money in the hopes that it would get Val access to her share of her bank accounts.

"Don't worry, I've seen cases like this before," Rebecca said. "These guys think they're really smart, and that the money is hidden away. It rarely is. I'll let you know how my team goes."

Val and I walked downstairs and got into the car. We had just enough time for Val to drop me off at home before she had to head out to pick the girls up from school.

"Do you think they'll be able to track down our money?" Val asked.

"Hopefully. I'd hate to think that Steve would get away with what he's done. He makes men look bad," I said to Val.

"He definitely does. I think I'm off men forever. I may never date again," Val said.

"Well, never say never, but you don't have to think about that now. Just concentrate on getting your life back on track here and the girls," I said.

"I just miss having a man around," Val said, ignoring me. "I mean Steve was out a lot, but he was home sometimes. I miss being able to say that I have a husband."

"Well you're not divorced yet, technically you still have a husband, he's just a really shitty one." Val looked a bit brighter like that. Better to have a cheating husband than no husband at all, went The Burg logic.

"I'd better go pick up the girls. Then we're going to stop by to see Mom and Grandma, I think we'll stay for dinner," Val said. She pulled over outside my house, and I waved goodbye. My phone rang as I was letting myself in the front door.

"Hello?"

"It's Ranger. Vinnie handed DeChooch over to me. I heard you saw him yesterday," he said.

Ranger. I had trouble concentrating, listening to his voice was distracting me from what he was actually saying. How did women concentrate with him around? Maybe that's how he was such a good bounty hunter, he just mesmerised people into doing whatever he wanted.

"Stephanie? Are you there?" he asked.

"Oh, sorry. Must have been a bad connection," I lied.

"I heard you saw DeChooch yesterday. I need a bring him in quickly before this gets out of hand. Do you think he could get him to your house again?" Ranger asked.

"Maybe. I don't really have a way to get hold of them through. Except – oh. He's dating my Grandma."

"He's dating your Grandma?"

"Yeah. So I guess I could call Grandma and ask her to call him?"

"Whatever works. Let me know how you go," he said, and hung up. No goodbyes there.

I rang my parent's house. Luckily my grandmother answered so I didn't have to make up a reason to my mother why I wanted to talk to Grandma.

"Um, Grandma, could you pass on a message to Eddie DeChooch for me?"

"Why do you want to talk to old Choochy?"

"I have something of his," I blurted out. "A friend of mine had it and he passed it on to me. I want to make sure it gets back to Eddie DeChooch, but I also want to swap it for something because I think he has something of mine."

"Well that sounds mysterious enough. I'll pass it on to him," Grandma said.

Now I just had to wait, I guess. Maybe when Ranger captured DeChooch we'd be able to find out what had happened to Dougie. I wondered if Mooner had shown back up at Morelli's house yet. Probably he'd show up at his house once he'd scored whatever he'd gone looking for.

I put the phone down and went upstairs to my office. All my family drama had left me behind in my work and I had lot of work to get done to make sure that I was up to date on my orders. I'd just sat down at my desk when Ella appeared in the doorway, looking nervous and even a bit flustered.

"Ella, is everything all right?" I asked her.

"Oh Stephanie, I have to tell you something. I feel awful. I've been offered a full time position as a housekeeper. It's just – it's live in, and full time, so I won't be able to work for you anymore. I am so sorry," she said. Oh no! I was happy for Ella, I really was, but I was going to miss her. And the super clean house.

"Oh Ella. I will miss you, but I completely understand. You've been saying you needed more work. It sounds like it's the job you've been waiting for," I said, trying to sound positive. No more Ella cookies.

"It's nearly perfect," Ella said. "It's live in, and there's a handyman position for Louis, and there's cooking involved too and lots of people to look after. I've missed having a bustling household since my boys went to college."

I was sad to be losing Ella. I had a fantasy that Plum Lingerie would be so successful that I'd be able to hire Ella full time. That was still a long way off though, so it wasn't like I could ask her not to take the job she was offered.

I'd packaged up my recent orders and was ready to go to the post office when I remembered that I didn't have a car. Even the nearest post box seemed too far away. I was contemplating my options when my phone rang. Morelli.

"Did you find Mooner?" I asked him.

"No. But when I got home from work, one of my neighbours was waiting for me. She saw Mooner get into a car."

"Benny and Ziggy again?"

"Not this time. "One of my neighbours watches everything through her curtains all day. She saw a strange car and wrote down its license plate. Now that it's actually been useful once, she's never going to get away from the window," said Morelli.

"Did you run the license plate?"

"Not yet, I'm headed into work to do it now. I'm thinking that whoever took Dougie now has Mooner," Morelli said.

Uh oh. That didn't sound good.


	14. Chapter 14 - Grandma gets kidnapped

Ella came upstairs to let me know that she was leaving, and offered to take the parcels to the post office for me. Ella was amazing. I was going to miss her.

Dickie got home just after six, just as I was staring into the fridge and deciding what to have for dinner. There were some Thai food leftovers that I was eyeing off and decided to heat up since it was just the two of us for dinner.

"It's quiet in here. Where is everyone?" he asked.

"Val decided to have dinner with my parents tonight. I've had enough family time recently so I decided to skip it."

"Good decision," he said.

I divided the food on to two plates and we took it over to the couch.

"Ella's had to resign, she's found a full time job," I told Dickie.

"Oh that's a pity. Our house always looks so great after she's been," he said.

"I know! I'm going to miss her so much. I wonder if she can suggest a replacement," I said.

"Do we really need a replacement though? I mean, when Ella started cleaning the house you were working full time. Now you're not working, do we really need a cleaner?" Dickie asked.

I knew that he'd bring this up. He kept hinting that I should be a housewife.

"First of all, I am working. I'm working really hard on my business." When I could. When the Plum Craziness didn't take over as it had lately. I missed focusing on my business.

"Second of all, we don't need a cleaner, but you're going to have to do your fair share. You were the one who wanted to move to this giant house."

"I don't have time to clean," he said. "I work really hard to support us!"

"I work really hard to support us," I glared at him.

Valerie and the girls noisily arriving home helped break the tension a little bit, but it was another frosty night in the Orr-Plum household. Val didn't seem to notice though, she was bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Mary Lou called me this afternoon! Her neighbours were interested in having us stay as house sitters for a few months while they decide what to do with their house while they're in Florida," Val said. "We can move into the house in two weeks! And they're leaving it furnished, so I don't have to worry about that just yet. All I need is a car, and I'm all set!" Val was beaming. Some of her Californian positivity had returned.

"That's great, Val!" I told her. I was happy for Val, but also relieved for me. I needed more time to work, and also Dickie and I had been snippy with each other a bit more the last few days and I figured that having extra people in the house wasn't helping.

After Val had dropped off the girls at school the next morning she helped me with my orders while I worked on the last details for the Plum Vintage range, and the next shipment for Plum Blossoms. Val and I made a great team. It was actually nice to spend so much time with her. Maybe we could keep working together after she'd move into her own house.

We took a break for lunch, then went back to working. I confirmed the order details and sent it off, then updated the website and social media details. I wasn't quite sure how to market Plum Vintage and mostly was just hoping for internet savvy old ladies. I probably needed to think about this a bit more.

There was a knock on the door. Val went down to answer it, and I could hear voices talking. Then she yelled, "Stephanie!"

I went downstairs to find Val and Morelli in the kitchen. Val was looking a little pale and Morelli was making her a cup of coffee.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"It's all a bit strange," Val said. She looked at Morelli. He looked at me.

"Does anyone want to tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"I found out what DeChooch lost. It was a human heart," Morelli said. I felt a bit faint at that and sat down beside Val. Morelli pulled out another coffee mug and made me a coffee too.

Morelli began to explain. He followed the clues starting from the license plate that his neighbour had written down. The license plate belonged to a mobster's wife. Well to start from the beginning of the story that Morelli explained – DeChooch was working with Louie D on the cigarette smuggling, two old mobsters trying to keep their hand in the business. Then Louie D dropped dead on the job. When DeChooch called in to report, he misheard the command to bring Louie D's body home ("bring the fart to me") and instead removed… well an organ that Louie D no longer needed (his heart). DeChooch, being old and crazy, didn't see how insane that was but somehow along the way lost the heart. He thinks that somehow Dougie and Mooner had the heart. He must have passed that along to Sophia, Louie D's wife, when she threatened to run DeChooch through the family meat processing plant.

"It's safe to assume that Sophia took both Dougie and Mooner after DeChooch blamed them for losing Louie D's heart," Morelli finished. I felt like I needed something stronger than coffee.

"How did you find that out?" I asked Morelli.

"I have my sources," he said smugly.

"Was this source tall and blonde?" I asked, thinking of Terry Grizolli that we went to school with.

"Terry? No. I don't want her to get involved. I actually asked Connie, Vinnie's assistant. Connie knows everything that happens in this town," Morelli said.

"Small addition to the problem," I told Morelli.

"Yes?" he said, looking at me. He looked like he was expecting bad news.

"I rang DeChooch last night and told him that I had what he was looking for and I was willing to trade for it."

"Trade what?"

"Dougie and Mooner."

"But DeChooch doesn't have Dougie or Mooner?"

"Uh…. Dunno. But Ranger said-"

"Ranger said?" Morelli was nearly yelling.

"Ranger has the bond for DeChooch now and asked me if there was a way I could find out where DeChooch was. I figured this was the quickest way to get him off the street. I don't like being threatened with a gun," I glared at Morelli.

"All right," he said, running his hands through his hair.

Val sat there quietly.

"Another problem," she began. Morelli and I turned to look at her. "Um I stopped by to see mom quickly on the way home from dropping the girls at school and she was looking for Grandma. She said that she'd gone out early to get rolls from the bakery and hadn't come back yet. She wasn't too worried but it was still early."

I stared at Val, not sure where she was going with this.

"Well you told DeChooch that you wanted to trade, right? And he doesn't have Dougie or Mooner, so… what's he going to trade?"

Oh crap.

My phone rang. It was Grandma's number.

"Hello?"

"I've heard that you have something that I want," the voice said. It sounded like DeChooch.

"Yes, that's right. I do. I want to swap for Mooner and Dougie," I told him.

"I've told you before, I don't have either of them," he said, sounding frustrating. "But I do have something that you do want."

"Ahhh hold on a minute," I said, putting him on speaker, and gesturing to Val and Morelli. This didn't sound good.

"I said, I have something that you do want. Don't I? Go on, tell her," he said.

Val and I looked at each other.

"Hello!" Grandma's voice said happily down the phone.

"Grandma? Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Because Eddie DeChooch has kidnapped you?" Val asked.

"Oh is that what this is. I wondered why I had to cover my head while we were driving but I thought maybe he was getting kinky. Anyway it's a nice basement that he has us in. We-"

"Stop talking!" said DeChooch.

"Well don't you think that I'm going to be easy just because I'm kidnapped," said Grandma, then she went quiet.

"I'll meet you at the Quaker Bridge Mall at 7 to trade your Grandma for the heart. And don't call the cops," DeChooch said. Right. The heart.

"Where should we-" I started to ask, but he'd hung up already.

Don't call the cops. I looked across at Joe. "He said no cops," I told Joe.

"No, he said no calling the cops. Luckily you don't need to call because I'm right here. And also luckily old Eddie DeChooch thinks of me as little Joey Morelli, neighbourhood pain the ass, not the cops."

"We should call Ranger," I said.

"Already on it," Morelli said, pressing call on his phone. "He's on his way," he said, hanging up the phone.

My phone started ringing again. "What now?" I asked, looking at it. It was my parents home number. Uh oh.

"Hi mom!" I said.

"Stephanie! Have you seen your Grandmother? She went out early this morning and she's not back yet. I'm getting worried," my mother said.

"Oh yes, she just got here. She ended up going on a shopping trip with some friends from the Seniors Centre. She looks exhausted so I told her to go lie down for a nap," I told her. Valerie's eyes widened.

"Oh I am so relieved. Do you want me to get your father to come and pick her up?"

"No, it's okay. I told her I'd take her out to the mall tonight. I need advice on some new shoes," I said.

"Well don't let her talk you into anything outlandish. Is she going to stay at your house tonight?"

"No, we're a bit full with Val and the girls here. I'll drop her home around eight," I said, crossing my fingers that would be the case. I said goodbye and hung up the phone.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum! You just lied to your mother! That's a sin!" Valerie said.

"It's less of a sin than telling her what's really going on!" I said. We both turned to look at Morelli.

He shrugged. "I never really paid attention in church, you're probably both sinners," he said. Fair enough. My thoughts turned back to Ranger. Probably the way I admired him was a sin too. And soon he was going to be in my house! Omigod!

I was thinking about hyperventilating when a black porsche glided to a stop outside the house. That didn't help with my calming thoughts. Ranger got out and walked towards the house. He had a blank expression on his face as he looked at the house. I opened the door as he approached.

"Hi. Uh, come in," I invited him. "We're all in the kitchen drinking coffee."

He walked into the kitchen and he and Morelli exchanged his nods. I introduced him to Val and she blushed.

"Would you like a coffee?" I asked Ranger. He nodded. Minimal communication, I see. I took a guess and made it black, no sugar. He didn't seem like a sugar sort of guy. His mouth twitched a bit at the corners, like he was thinking of smiling, so maybe I got it right. He took the coffee and sat down at the table. I picked up the container of Ella's cookies and took it over with me, offering everyone a cookie. Morelli and Val took one, Ranger refrained. I knew it, he was a health nut.

"Now here's the issue," Morelli said. "Besides that DeChooch has Grandma Mazur and wants to trade her for the heart. Louie D's wife Sophia has a pretty fearsome reputation of her own. And she is Benny's sister-in-law. His wife, Estelle, is meant to be with her sister at the moment. So if we call the cops on them, DeChooch could find out. But I don't want to leave Dougie and Mooner with them any longer than possible. I have a buddy who is in the police down there, and I want to get him involved."

"DeChooch said no police," I reminded Morelli.

"Luckily this is an unrelated matter, since it's my houseguest who has gone missing, last seen getting into a car with plates and a description that matches the one that belongs to Louie D's wife. I'm a cop, I need to report it," Morelli said.

"Call it in," Ranger agreed, "We don't have any authority to go into their house looking for Dougie or Mooner."

Morelli nodded and pulled out his phone, walking away to make a phone call. I looked over at Ranger. It felt strange having him in the house, like having a not quite tame panther in the living room. He looked calm enough but it didn't seem entirely risk free having him there.

"I have a plan for capturing DeChooch," said Ranger. "I want us on the ground in two teams. We'll split into two." He looked at Val and me, assessing us. "Val and Morelli, I want you inside the mall. Probably the food court. It's busy and crowded and it's likely where DeChooch will make the swap. Stephanie, you'll be with me on back-up outside."

"What will we be doing?"

"I don't want to apprehend DeChooch inside the mall. He's too unpredictable and trigger happy. We're going to wait outside and grab him as he exits."

Morelli came back, finishing his call.

"It's all set," he said, hanging up. "They're going to set up watch now, and then hit them just after five. They'll stall on the processing and paperwork, so no phone calls will be made until after seven."

Ranger filled Morelli in on his plan, and Morelli nodded.

"What do we do for the heart?" I asked.

"I'll drop by the butcher that I use for Bob and pick up something that will do," Morelli said. "I'll put it on ice and make it look good."

"If I'm outside with Ranger, won't DeChooch get spooked if he sees Val instead of me inside?" I asked.

"DeChooch is eleven million years old and blind as a bat," Morelli said. "He won't be able to remember what you look like or tell the difference."

Ranger nodded. "We'll meet up at six and get in place. I'll pick you up."

"Um, no, that's okay, I'll meet you there," I said.

"Not going to tell the husband what you're up to?" he asked, mouth corners twitching again.

"I don't think you picking me up is going to add to my marital harmony," I said.

"I can pick you both up," Morelli offered.

"I'll drive us to the mall and we'll meet you there at six," I said firmly. I wasn't sure what I was going to tell Dickie about tonight but I knew that having either Ranger or Morelli pick us up wasn't going to make it better.

"I've got to go and pick up the girls from school," Val said.

"I've got to go and let Bob out," Morelli said.

"Hey, could you give me a ride to my parents? I want to pick up the Buick so I have my own car," Val said. Morelli nodded and they walked out together, leaving me alone with Ranger.

Ranger picked up his coffee mug and drank the last of it, then walked over to the kitchen and put the mug in the sink.

"Thanks for the coffee," he said.

"I'll see you tonight," I told him.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said, and an unexpected grin spread over his face. If he looked a bit dangerous with his serious face, he was downright scary when he was smiling.


	15. Chapter 15 - Ranger to the rescue

I decided to start organising our plans for tonight. First up, we needed a babysitter. We were avoiding talking to mom in case she wanted to speak to Grandma, so since Val was needed to be back-up for Morelli in the great Kidnapped Grandma Caper, that left one option. I sighed and called my husband.

"We need you to babysit Angie and Mary Alice tonight," I told Dickie. He hesitated.

"Uh, why?" he asked.

"Well, Val has something on, and I told Grandma that I'd meet her at the mall at six," I told him.

"I'll give them their dinner, and make sure they're showered, they can watch TV until seven, then you just need to make sure that they brush their teeth, get into bed by 7.30 at the latest, and make sure that Mary Alice brushes her mane," Val told Dickie.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I… uh… I have a date!" she told him.

"Oh that's great! Who with?" Dickie asked.

"Uh… Joseph Morelli," Val said. She looked over at me and shrugged.

"Did you decide to set him up with your sister? Good thinking, Steph. That sounds great, Val. Don't worry, I'll take care of the girls," he said.

Dickie arrived home at quarter to six, far earlier than normal. He was armed with his laptop, briefcase and a DVD of Moana. "I thought I might need TV back-up," he said, grinning at me. Sometimes he could be an ass but he was endlessly charming when he felt like it.

Angie and Mary Alice's faces lit up when they saw the DVD.

"Moana! Moana!" they yelled, dancing around. I wasn't quite sure that Dickie knew what he was in for. Val kissed the girls goodbye and told them to be good for their Uncle Dickie.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," I told him, kissing him goodbye. "I'm going to drop Grandma at home afterwards."

"Have fun shopping," he told me, opening up the DVD case and getting the movie ready. Looks like it was movie night with Uncle Dickie.

Val and I got into the Mercedes and drove to the mall.

"So have you and Dickie come to an agreement on having a baby?" Val asked me.

"No," I said shortly, hoping she'd get the point.

"You need to work it out, Steph. He wants a baby. Look how happy he was to be spending the night with the girls," Val said. I rolled my eyes. Buying one DVD doesn't mean that he is good father material. I think he was only happy about it because he thought that if Val was dating Morelli, then Morelli wouldn't be hanging around showing off his motorbike to me. Good thing that Dickie didn't know the history that Morelli and I had or his jealous streak would be having a red hot fit.

I pulled into the parking garage of the mall and found Morelli and Ranger waiting by Ranger's car. Ranger had the best spot, right by the entrance, but Val and I had to park further up. Morelli's truck wasn't on sight but the plan was for him to park on the other side of the mall just in case.

Last time I saw Ranger he was dressed all in black – black dress slacks, black business shirt, black suit jacket. This time he was dressed on his bounty hunter black – black boots, black cargo pants, black shirt, black jacket. He looked good in black but I had a feeling he'd look good in anything. Or nothing. He nodded to us.

"Hey Steph, hey Val," Morelli said. He was holding a cooler bag. I was just going to assume that his butcher came through and not ask any further questions.

"Hey Joe," Val said, with a bit of a blush.

"So, what's our plan?" I asked.

"We've got less than an hour before DeChooch is due to call to make the transfer. He might call early though to try and catch us off guard. We're going to split into two teams – Steph, you and Ranger stay here and wait as back-up. We don't want to scare DeChooch off," Morelli said.

"If we don't want to scare him, then why aren't you and Ranger the hidden back-up?" I asked. Morelli sighed.

"Because DeChooch is old and crazy and I don't want either you or Val alone with him in case he pull out a gun again?"

Oh. That. I looked across at Ranger. An hour in a dimly light parking garage with Ranger. Right. He look over at me.

"Don't worry, babe. I'm the scariest creature in this wood."

Val giggled. "So you're the mouse and not the Gruffalo?" she asked him. The corners of his mouth twitched. Morelli and I looked at each other and I shrugged, not understanding the reference.

Val and Morelli picked up the cooler and headed off into the mall for the food court to wait for DeChooch.

Ranger and I climbed into his car, another black Porsche but this time a Cayenne, and waited. He was calm, sitting comfortably in his seat, breathing quietly, just watching and waiting. He reminded me of a creature waiting for its prey.

I, however, was not calm. Or patient. And I was getting hungry. I squirmed in the seat. The parking garage didn't have enough cars driving past to keep me entertained. There were no snacks in my bag.

"This is boring," I told Ranger. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you have any snacks?" I asked him.

"No eating in my car," he told me. I sighed. I got out my phone and stared at it. No call from DeChooch.

"What's a Gruffalo?" I asked Ranger. He raised his eyebrow at me again. Right. Okay. I googled instead.

"Do you often quote from children's books?" I asked Ranger.

"Only when the mood strikes," he said. I read more about the book.

"Were you trying to say that you're all bad reputation but you're not actually scary at all underneath?" I asked him. He grinned for real this time.

"I'm a mercenary, babe, and a bad man. When I said I was the scariest creature, that's exactly what I meant."

"You don't seem that scary to me," I told him.

"You probably thought that Alexander Ramos was a nice old man. I think your instincts are a bit off."

"My instincts are fine," I told him, rolling my eyes.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes.

My phone rang. It was Grandma's number. I answered, putting it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Are you at the mall?" Eddie DeChooch asked.

"Yes. Where do you want to meet?"

"Not so fast," he said. "You need to take the heart somewhere for me. First, you take route 10..."

"Wait, where are we going?"

"Just follow my directions," he said, sounding irritated.

"Can't you just give me the address? I didn't bring a pen! I thought we were meeting at the mall," I said. Ranger raised his eyebrows at me.

"How will you know how to get there if I don't give you directions?" DeChooch asked.

"I'll put it into Google Maps."

"You'll… just follow directions," DeChooch said, sounding irritated. Ranger held up a pen. He was prepared. Must have been a boy scout.

"Choochy doesn't know what Google Maps is," said Grandma's cheerful voice in the background. "He doesn't even have a smart phone."

We managed to get the directions down.

"Bring the heart to that address. Then wait for more directions," he said.

"What? Aren't you at that address?" I asked him, but he'd hung up. I turned to look at Ranger.

"Now what?" I asked him.

"Phone Morelli and tell him to take the heart to the address," he said. Ranger's phone beeped and he checked it. "Your Grandma's phone is at the mall somewhere. Let's go check the food court."

I rang Val and passed on the message.

"I'm pretty sure that's where DeChooch's nephew Ronald lives," said Morelli. "We'll go do the delivery. Don't worry, I'll look after Val."

"We're starting to get looks walking around the mall with a cooler anyway," Val said.

"Keep an eye out for Grandma just in case," I told him.

Ranger got out of the car and stretched. I knew he had one gun tucked away behind his back and I suspected that there were more somewhere. He pulled on a bullet proof vest, and put his jacket on over the top, hiding it.

"I've got a vest that would fit you," he offered. I thought of all the calls my mother would get if I was spotted walking through the mall with a bullet proof vest on.

"No thanks."

My phone rang again as I was getting out of the car.

"Is Val still with you?"

"No, I dropped her off on her date with Morelli. Why, are the girls okay?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah they're fine. We're just finishing up Moana. Where are you?"

"I'm at the mall waiting for Grandma."

"She's not there yet?"

"No, not yet. But she'll be here soon." Fingers crossed, anyway.

"All right. Can you pick me up some shampoo while you're there?"

"Okay, sure."

"Thanks Steph. You're the best. Love you," he said, hanging up.

Well that was weird.

"That was Dickie. He's wondering when I'll be home. I told him that I was meeting Grandma at the mall, and then dropping her home afterwards," I said. Ranger looked at my phone.

"He's got a tracker on your phone," he said casually.

"He's what?"

"He's got tracking on your phone so he knows where you are all the time," Ranger said.

"Oh, the thing that lets you see where the phone is? That's in case I lose the phone so we can find it," I explained to Ranger.

"Do you have the same for his phone?" Ranger asked me.

"Well, no. But Dickie never loses his phone. It's never out of his sight," I told him.

"He's tracking you," Ranger said.

"Why do you think that?"

"He called because your phone hasn't moved from the parking garage. He's a suspicious man, babe. Probably thinks you're having sex in the back seat of the Mercedes right now."

"You have a dirty mind," I told Ranger. He raised an eyebrow at me.

We headed into the mall together. My stomach growled when we got to the food court. It all smelled delicious. I needed to find Grandma first, then I was heading for pizza.

It was crowded in the food court but Ranger had no trouble getting through. People looked at him and skittered out of the way. It was impressive. I looked around. Grandma liked to eat Chinese food from the mall and they had a seniors discount. I saw her, sitting next to DeChooch, and put my hand on Ranger's arm to warn him. He stopped walking and looked over.

"Good spotting," he told me softly. He warned me to stay behind him, then strode over to their table.

"Mr DeChooch, you're in violation of your bail bond. I'm authorised by Vincent Plum to bring you into custody," he said, taking out hand cuffs.

"Ranger Manoso," DeChooch said, standing up. "I see Vinnie finally brought in the big guns. About time." Grandma eyed Ranger and I got the uncomfortable feeling that she was picturing him naked.

"Who's the hottie?" she asked me.

"He's a bounty hunter," I told Grandma.

"You see?" said DeChooch. "I told you I was a wanted man." He turned around so Ranger could cuff him.

Mall security officers arrived, looking at Ranger uncertainly.

"I'm a Bond Enforcement Agent, and he's in violation of his bond. I have the paperwork if you want to see it," Ranger said. They shook their heads no. Apparently what they wanted was for Ranger to leave as soon as possible. They offered to escort him to his car, and DeChooch took off with a swagger.

"See how many men they sent for me?" he said to Grandma. "That's how dangerous I still am."

Ranger tipped his head at me in farewell. "Have a good dinner," he said, and left with DeChooch.

Grandma and I got pizza and drinks and were sitting down eating when my phone rang.

"I dropped the heart off," Val said.

"Ranger and I found Grandma and DeChooch," I told her. "Ranger took DeChooch away and I've got Grandma safe. We're having pizza."

"Oh thank goodness," Val said. She sounded relieved.

"Are you coming back to the mall?" I asked her.

"Um, I think we might go out to dinner. And then Joe will drop me home. You know, since we're meant to be out on a date and all," Val said. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, see you at home," I said, and hung up.

"Who was that?" Grandma asked.

"Valerie. She's on a date with Joe Morelli," I told Grandma.

"Lucky her. He's a hottie and a real catch," Grandma said.

Grandma and I finished our pizza, and I drove her home. I took the coward's way out, and watched her get inside the house from the safety of my car, then took off. I was sure I'd get a phone call from my mother before too long but I'd be safely home by then.

I pulled into the garage, and walked into the quiet house. Dickie was working at the kitchen table.

"I brought you some pizza," I told him, sliding a container across the table.

"My hero. Did you get my shampoo too?"

Ugh! I knew I forgot something.


	16. Chapter 16 - Distractions from Work

"I forgot your shampoo," I told Dickie. "Sorry, Grandma was a bit crazy tonight and we didn't make it to the pharmacy."

"That's okay, you can pick it up for me tomorrow," he said, not looking up from his computer. Ugh.

"Did the girls get to sleep okay?" I asked him.

"They went up about half an hour ago. It's been pretty quiet," he said.

I heard a truck pull up outside and saw Val get out of Morelli's truck, and then wave good bye as he pulled away. He didn't even walk her to the door. What a bad fake-date.

I opened the door as Val walked up to it.

"Have a good date?" I asked her. She blushed.

"It was a nice night out," she said. "Were the girls well behaved?" she asked Dickie.

"There was a bit of neighing, but other than that, all good," he told her.

* * *

The next morning I got a call from Morelli.

"We found Dougie and Mooner. I'm picking them up this morning and taking them home," he told me.

"Are they okay?" I asked him.

"They're in one piece. We'll be home in a few hours if you want to see for yourself."

I pulled up outside Dougie's house a few hours later and went inside. Dougie and Mooner were on the couch, watching Star Trek and eating cheeseballs. Morelli's dog Bob was next to them, looking hopeful. Bob loved cheeseballs. Dougie looked thin and was bandaged quite heavily, Mooner looked to be in better shape. Morelli was watching them with an amused look on his face.

"They're turning out to be quite resilient," he said. "I was worried about them but it turns out that Star Trek and cheeseballs are helping."

"And Mooner's secret stash."

"Yeah, that too."

"So what happened?" I asked Morelli.

"Louie D's wife Sophia held them hostage. She thought they knew where the heart was. The local police found them in a cell in the basement. It was a good thing that we called it in when we did," he said. I shivered. Poor Dougie looked awful.

"Do they know what happened to the heart?"

"No, they don't. Sophia was trying to find it to make sure that Louie would be buried with it. I got the call that they'd found Mooner and Dougie after I dropped Val off. Sophia is refusing to talk but her sister is cooperating with the police."

"Oh! Dude and dudette. Here's the thing," Mooner said. Morelli and I turned to look at him.

"While Mooner and I were in that cell, we had lots of time to talk. We figured out what happened to the heart. But we didn't tell the lady with the dead eyes. She was too scary," Dougie said. He and Mooner shivered.

Then they told us what they had figured out. Essentially Eddie DeChooch gave Dougie a cooler to deliver to Sophia. But before Dougie did that, Mooner borrowed his car and needed the passenger seat, so he took the cooler out and left it on the porch for the trip. The cooler was knocked over when he got back but his in Mooner state, he didn't think of anything of it, and put it back in the car. Then Dougie, not knowing any better, delivered the empty cooler to Sophia.

"Crazy, huh?" Mooner asked, and then they turned back to the tv, slipping into the world of the Starship Enterprise.

Crazy indeed. I was glad that they were safe, and hugged everyone goodbye, including Bob the dog. Bob looked right at home with them.

* * *

I went home, and settled down to work. Val was out, working out the details with her new landlords. I think technically it was a house sitting arrangement, but hopefully it would work out for Val. It was going to be nice having her and the girls within regularly visiting distance.

I got some parcels ready and updated the website with the information on the new range, which I was calling Plum Vintage. I was behind in my marketing thanks to the madness that my household had descended into recently. I opened up my spreadsheet and notebook and was deep in thought in my marketing plan when my doorbell rang. I rolled my eyes. What now?! Why me?! I was turning into my mother.

I huffed downstairs and threw open the door, ready to send whoever it was away so I could actually get some work done. First I noticed the black Porsche in the driveway. Then the man leaning against it. He raised one eyebrow at me as I stood there, mouth agape.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be home," Ranger said.

"I work from home. I'm here a lot," I told him. I hesitated. Was it a bad idea to invite the sexy mercenary into my house? But it would be impolite to leave him outside. What would my mother say? She'd say use your manners and invite the attractive man inside, Stephanie. You don't want to be rude.

Two minutes later I had Ranger inside my house, drinking coffee at my kitchen table, and giving me that amused look again. I had no idea why he was there and the man of few words didn't seem inclined to explain.

"Did you manage to get DeChooch back on your own?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I think he was a bit tired and looking forward to some quiet time at jail after having our Grandma talking at home all day."

I could understand that.

He took an envelope out of his pocket and slid it across the table to me. I opened it, puzzled. Inside was a cheque addressed to me from RangeMan, LLC.

"What's this for?" I asked him.

"For helping with DeChooch. You did all the prep work in getting him in place, which made the pick-up go smoothly for me. It's your cut," Ranger said. I was a bit surprised.

"I can't accept this," I told him, handing the cheque back.

"You earned it," he said, pushing it back across the table to me.

"You helped me rescue Grandma. Consider us even," I told him. He didn't look happy but he nodded and folded the cheque away.

"What work is it that you do?" he asked me.

"I'm a lingerie designer," I told him. His eyebrows shot up so I pulled out my phone and showed him my Plum Lingerie instagram feed.

"So what work is it that you do?" I asked Ranger. "I know you do bounty hunting for Vinnie, and Morelli described you as a mercenary, but I don't actually know what it is you do."

"A mercenary is a good way to describe it. I've been doing whatever pays the best since I left the military, but now I'm focused on starting up my own security company," Ranger told me.

"So we're both small business owners," I said. Ranger grinned at me.

"Thanks for the coffee," he said, and stood up. He placed his coffee mug in the sink, just like last time, and I walked him to the door.

"This lock isn't great. Anyone could break in," he told me as he walked out.

"I'll keep you in mind if I need a security specialist," I said, giving him a finger wave goodbye.

I wondered if you got personal visits from Ranger if your alarm went off? I'd imagine they were going to get a lot of false alarms from bored housewives if so. Probably dressed in lingerie. That's probably who I needed to target. Back to the marketing plan!


	17. Chapter 17 - Val moves out

If this was the books, we'd be up to around Book 8. But there's not a lot that happens in Book 8 that Stephanie would be involved in if she wasn't a bounty hunter. So we'll see how it goes, and don't worry, it will meet back up with the books eventually.

* * *

Over the next few weeks I concentrated on my product launch. Val helped out with the administrative side of the business while the girls were at school, and I was happy to have her helping although most of my profits were going towards paying her.

Ella finished working for me after her notice period was complete. She'd given me two weeks warning so I could find someone else. Except I didn't want anyone else, I wanted Ella back. I looked forward to her coming every week, to the shiny clean house on Mondays and the container of cookies, and chatting away to Ella about her week. She was always interested in what I was doing. I hoped that her new job worked out for her. Luckily Plum Vintage was selling well and Plum Blossoms was still popular, so I didn't have too much time to sulk about the loss of Ella. The dust bunnies were piling up under the bed at a surprising rate though.

I wondered what Ranger was up to. I googled RangerMan LLC but I didn't find out much except that their website was as mysterious as Ranger himself, which wasn't that great from a marketing viewpoint, and it seemed to be a high end security company. I remembered what Ranger said about the lock on our door and wondered if I should look into upgrading our security. Dickie was travelling more frequently, and his work sometimes attracted bad attention – along with the unresolved issue of him working for Alexander Ramos. I wondered if I should text Ranger and say I was thinking about a security system. I decided to bring it up with Dickie.

"Do you think we need to install an alarm system?" I asked him over breakfast the next morning. He was drinking coffee and reading emails on his phone. I was up early, enjoying the quiet before Mary Alice came galloping down the stairs.

"Uh… why?"

"For security? I mean you travel a lot and I'm alone in the house. Do you think we need one?"

"Not really. But you can look into it if you want to," Dickie said.

Well that didn't help.

* * *

It was Val's moving day. She didn't have too much to move – no furniture. The girls had a little more than the suitcase each they'd arrived with, mostly extra clothes. Val explained that she'd left most of the furniture in the house, and had left sentimental items in a storage unit.

Val was nervous about living on her own. I don't know if Val had ever lived on her own – she moved out of home to college where she lived with room mates, then got married and moved in with Steve (please note – Saint Valerie did it in that order, no living in sin for her), and then out with Steve and in with me. Val wasn't used to being the only adult in the house and it was a big thing for her.

We managed to fit everything into my Mercedes and Big Blue the Buick, and made it in one trip over. Our mother was there, ready and waiting with cleaning supplies although the house looked spotless already – no Burg housewife would dare leave housesitters with an unclean house.

"This is nice and close to our house! The girls can come around every day after school," my mother said, beaming. Having her grandchildren so close to home was a dream come true. Grandma Mazur snuck in behind her.

"Did they leave much behind?" she asked. "I'm going to go check out their underwear drawers, make sure it's all cleared out for you." Grandma disappeared off to snoop around upstairs, and the girls disappeared down to the basement to discover the television and all the toys that the Olsens had for their grandchildren.

The house was nearly identical to our parents, but there was enough space for everyone to have a bedroom each, and a finished basement, complete with second toilet. It seems that everyone except for my parents has figured out the toilet to people ratio has a direct impact on happiness.

Mary Lou and her boys came around with a welcome basket. The boys disappeared downstairs to investigate the basement. I checked on them a few minutes later – Kenny and Angie were watching TV, and Mary Alice was giving Mikey pony rides.

Mom and I helped Val unpack while Mary Lou set up the kitchen and unpacked groceries that Mom and Grandma had with them. Since Val didn't have too much, it didn't take us long. Mom and Grandma left in order to start dinner, and reminded Val that dinner was at six, like always. Val was only two streets away, so she and the girls would walk over.

Mary Lou managed to gather her boys up out of the basement (apparently the Olsens had an awesome toy collection - "There's even Lego!" Kenny told me) and herded them towards the door.

"We usually walk to school on the days that I don't work," Mary Lou told Val. "Do you want to walk together on Monday?"

"That would be great, we'd love to," Val said. I felt a bit jealous. While I didn't want to be doing school pick-up, I would like to hang out with Mary Lou more often.

Mary Alice opened the front door to let everyone out and squealed.

"It's Joe! And he has his dog!" she yelled and ran out into the front yard. The rest of the kids ran after her and swarmed on Morelli and Bob. Morelli looked a bit confused and Bob looked like he was having the time of his life. He even licked the snack remains off of Mikey's face and cleaned him up a bit.

Mary Lou, Val and I followed the kids outside to rescue Morelli.

"Hi Mary Lou, Steph, Val," he said.

"Hi Joe," Mary Lou said, trying to untangled her kids from the pile.

"Detective Morelli, do you have a gun? Do you shoot bad guys? Is Bob a police dog?" Kenny asked.

"Do you know Batman?" Mikey asked, showing why I'm his Godmother.

"Can I pat Bob?" Mary Alice asked, although she was already hugging Bob.

"Hello Detective Morelli, it's nice to see you again. Would you like to come inside?" Angie asked. That one was definitely a Burg housewife in training.

"I have a gun, I try not to shoot anyone, Bob isn't a police dog but you can pat him, I don't know Batman and no thank you, Angie, I've got to take Bob for a walk before I start work tonight," Morelli answered.

"Won't Bob be lonely all on his own?" Mary Alice asked.

"He'll be fine. He usually just sleeps," Morelli told her.

"We could take Bob for you overnight," Val offered. Mary Lou and I looked at her and then at each other. Mary Lou raised her eyebrows and did a slight head incline towards Morelli. I agreed. This was weird.

"Thanks for the offer Val, but sometimes he eats couches. We're still working on his training," Morelli said. Mary Alice hugged Bob. Morelli and Bob jogged off, Mary Lou and her boys walked off down the street, and I hugged Val and my nieces goodbye.

"I'll see you for work on Monday, Val. Let me know if you need anything," I said, but I was also breathing a sigh of relief. Val was only two streets away from our parents, and could easily go to them for help. I was safely fifteen minutes away and if you're from the Burg, that's an eternity.

Dickie's car was in the garage when I got him, and Dickie was sprawled across the couch in his boxer shorts. I guess he was enjoying having the house back to ourselves again. First Grandma, then Val and the girls, made for a long time of house guests.

"It's so quiet in the house," I told Dickie.

"And it feels so big!"

"And there's no toys scattered everywhere."

"And no horse noises."

"You know, if we had a girl, she'd probably be exactly like Mary Alice," I told Dickie.

"What, and think she was a horse? Do you think we could train her to eat the grass in the courtyard?" Dickie asked. He was in a playful mood. I snuggled into the couch beside him.

"What do you feel like doing tonight?" I asked.

"Thai food and ghost busters night?" he asked me.

"My favourites," I said. I went to find the DVD while he made the order.

We spent the rest of the weekend reclaiming our no children adult lifestyle by ordering takeaway for all meals, watching a lot of TV and spending a lot of time in bed.

* * *

On Monday, Val asked me to go with her to her meeting with her divorce lawyer, Rebecca. I was a bit concerned, mostly because Rebecca had the last of my redundancy payout, and my business wasn't generating enough money yet for me to pay out any more, and I didn't want to ask Dickie for a handout. I could just hear it now – you should be more responsible with your money Stephanie, blah blah blah.

Rebecca was smiling, which I took to be some positive news. Val reached out and grabbed my hand as we sat down. I squeezed her hand for support.

"There's good news and there's bad news," Rebecca said. "The bad news is that the bank has foreclosed on your house due to mortgage payments not being made. But the good news is that we've tracked down your husband, and more importantly, his bank accounts. They weren't as well hidden as he thought they were."

"What does that mean?" Val asked her.

"It means that we can file for divorce, and serve Steve with the papers. It also means that we can apply to have the bank accounts frozen while we discuss settlement terms. Given that he left without warning and emptied your bank accounts, I don't think we'll have any trouble getting a judge to agree to that," said Rebecca. She had a gleam in her eye. I had a feeling that there was a bad break-up somewhere in her past and she enjoyed every time she got to seek revenge on someone's behalf.

"How long will it take?' Val asked.

"It will probably take a few months, but I'm going to make sure that Steve knows that it is in his best interests to make this happen quickly. He'll try to stall because he knows he left you without money and he'll think you're desperate for a quick settlement. If you can hold out two months, it will put us in a better position. What do you want to do?" Rebecca asked.

"I'm okay for money for now," Val said cautiously, "I'm house sitting, so we don't have rent, and I work part-time for Steph, and my parents are helping out a little too. We can't do this forever, but we can do it for a little while."

"Excellent," Rebecca grinned, and handed over some papers for Val to sign. "Sign these where it's marked, and we can get the process underway." Val signed, her hand a bit shaky.

We left the office and stopped for lunch nearby. Val was having second thoughts.

"It just seems so final, Steph. I mean what if Steve wants to work things out?"

"Val, if he wanted to work it out, he could get in contact with you. But he's shacked up somewhere with your babysitter and all your money. None of that says that he wants to work it out."

"I guess I just have to work on moving on," Val said.

"You can do it, Val. You and the girls will be fine without him. Look how well you're doing so far," I told her. She nodded.

"You're right! We have a house, a school the girls are happy at, they're seeing their grandparents all the time, and we're making friends in the neighbourhood. It's not the life I expected, but we're doing fine."

"That's it"! I told her.

"And I need to start dating again," she told me. I rolled my eyes. Val's current problem was caused by a man, I didn't see that adding another man to it was going to solve anything.

"Sure, Val. You do that. I'll even babysit," I told her.

* * *

I didn't really mean it, but I shouldn't have been surprised when she called me a few days later to request a babysitter.

"Steph! I'm moving on. I have a date on Friday night. Can you babysit?" she asked me.

"Sure. Who is the date with?"

"Bernie Kuntz. Do you know Bernie?"

"Yeah, I remember Bernie," I said. Bernie was nice, but harmless. Not really Val's type. I sensed our mother's hand at work here. Better Val than me.


	18. Chapter 18 - Christmas Already?

The next three months passed quickly – orders went out the door, stock filled the garage then left, Val and I got into a good working routine, Mary Lou ran in the election for her school's PTA and was appointed PTA President, Val went on occasional dates that our mother set her up on, a dictatorship was overthrown in a small South American country, and Mary Alice continued to be a horse although she did improve her jumps tremendously.

I was babysitting for Val again. Usually our mother babysat when Val went out on dates that she had set her up on, but I liked to spend time with Angie and Mary Alice. Dickie was working out of town for a few weeks, so I had plenty of time to spend with the girls. Val was upstairs getting ready for her date. I'd stopped asking questions about them by now, so all I knew was that Val was actually looking forward to this one.

There was a knock at the door, and Val was still upstairs. The girls and I were eating pizza while watching Moana. Val said that they weren't old enough for Ghostbusters.

"Could you get it, Steph? I'll be down in a minute," Val called down. I headed for the door, opened it, and saw Joe. He was dressed nicely, and even looked a touch nervous. Although maybe the nervousness came on when he was faced with me.

"Detective Morelli."

"I'm guessing I'm not in your good books if we're back to Detective Morelli," he said.

"I don't know, Joe. My recently separated sister announces she has a date with someone that she's really looking forward to, I agree to mind the kids, I came over here and you show up at the door. What, are you looking for another Buick to the legs?" I asked him. He scowled at me.

"Like I've said before, I'm not that kid anymore. Stop thinking that I am, Steph. I'm not going to hurt Val."

"Oh so it was okay to leave me on the bakery floor without a backwards glance, but not Val?"

"Jesus, Stephanie! What do you have against my blood pressure? People grow up and change. I'm sorry for how I treated you, I was a punk kid who should have done better in life. Give me a chance," he said pleadingly.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to see Val there. She was staring at us, probably sensing some tension in the air. Val was already at college by the time The Morelli Incident (as I thought of it) had happened, and we weren't close then, so as far as I knew, she had no idea about it.

"Have a good night, Joe," I told him. "Watch out for Buicks."

"Watch out for Buicks? What does that mean?" Val asked. Joe sighed.

"With Stephanie's permission, it's a story that I'd better explain to you over dinner," Joe said. Jeepers. He must be serious if he's going to own up to that. And then tell her how his leg got broken. I wonder how I'm going to come across in the story?

"Have a good night," I said, closing the door behind them.

I was dozing on the couch by the time Val got home. I heard her say goodbye to Joe at the door, then let herself in.

"Hey Val, how was the date?" I asked.

"Did you really run him over with a Buick?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh Joe. Well, no. I nudged him and he fell over his own feet trying to get away and that's how he broke his leg. So technically I didn't run him over."

Val looked confused.

"Are you going to be upset if I date Joe?" she asked.

"I'm over it by now, Joe and I are friends. But Mary Lou will want to know what his underwear drawer looks like. I helped Joe move and she was disappointed that I didn't find out," I told her. I was pretty sure that I meant it. I stretched, said good night, and left.

I went home to an empty house. Dickie was working away in Boston again. I was still thinking about his request that we start trying for a baby, but he was never home – would that change with a baby, or would he still find an excuse to stay away? Did I even want a baby? I texted Mary Lou to request a girls night. She texted back that she was at the hospital with Mikey, who had fallen off the bed and hit his head, and was under observation for a few hours, so I packed up and headed over to keep them company, stopping on the way at a convenience store near the hospital for snacks.

"Hello Aunt Steph! I hit my head!" Mikey told me. He looked happy enough.

"They're just watching to make sure that he doesn't have a concussion. Why does this always happen at bedtime?" Mary Lou asked. I had no idea, but I fell off the garage roof trying to fly, so at least Mikey had a smaller fall than that. I gave Mikey first choice of snacks in honour of his injury.

"So what's up?" Mary Lou asked.

"Val went on a date with Joe."

"Joe? Joe Morelli?"

"Shhhh. Not so loud. The whole Burg will find out."

"Tell her I want to know what his underwear looks like."

"Already done."

"And that's why you're my best friend," Mary Lou said, putting an arm around me. "Now, how are you really feeling about that? Should we go egg his house?"

"What's egging?" Mikey asked.

"Nothing. Here, play some games on my phone," Mary Lou said, handing over her iPhone.

Mary Lou and I looked at each other and started laughing. It was nice to know that someone always had my back.

"I've been thinking again about having a baby," I told Mary Lou.

"You're only thirty Steph, you don't have to rush it," Mary Lou told me.

"Says the woman with the four year old."

"I was ready. If you're not ready, then don't rush it. But you could go and see your doctor and get prepared."

"Get prepared? What am I meant to do? I thought I'd just go off the pill and see what happened?"

"You're meant to be blood tests first to make sure you're immune to measles, and you'll need to get that vaccination up to date if you're not, and start on pre-natal vitamins, and your doctor might want you to do a test for diseases, or that one might wait until you're actually pregnant… so, in related news, we're thinking of having another baby. Lenny wants to try for a girl. I think we'll be halfway to a basketball team."

"Mary Lou! We could be having babies together!"

I was still nervous at the thought of a baby and wasn't sure that I was cut out to be a mother, but having a baby at the same time as Mary Lou sounded like fun. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could do it with Mary Lou. I made a mental note to call my doctor and talk over what Mary Lou had mentioned.

* * *

The next week continued on like normal. I drafted designs for my intergalactic space princess range while Val sent out orders and did a stock take of what we had left. I didn't mind selling out but I did mind disappointing people by telling them we had stock in when we didn't. I was imagining a hormonal pregnant woman disappointed at Christmas, and wanting to avoid any bad publicity that would bring. I also saw my doctor and left with a sheet of information on pre-natal health, a blood test form, and feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Val had another appointment with Rebecca and requested my moral support yet again. Rebecca was looking very happy when we saw her. I had to feeling that the worse the husband, the happier Rebecca felt when she extracted her revenge.

"Hello Val! We've served Steve with the papers just after you signed them so your count down to being a free woman is on. Now we filed in California, because you haven't been a resident of New Jersey long enough to do it from here. So you have to wait six months from the time we served Steve with the papers for it go through legally. That means you're halfway through the waiting period."

"Wow, that's great! Isn't that great, Val?" I said, feeling like one of us had to say something. Val was looking nervous and a bit green.

"Now, your settlement. We managed to put a hold on Steve's accounts, and negotiated with his legal representatives. It's a one time payout with child support if he works again in the future. No spousal maintenance, but to be honest, I don't think he's going to be working again any time soon, he seems quite happy kicking back on the beach with all of your money. Since we filed in California, we went for half of the estate. Your share of the money from the accounts is $200 000."

Val gasped and covered her face. "Oh Steph! I can stop worrying. I can pay you back. I could even buy a house," she said. She started crying. Rebecca pushed some paper across the table.

"You just need to sign here and we'll get it all settled. Then after three months, the divorce will automatically go through and we'll send you the paperwork," she said.

I squeezed Val's hand. I felt so relived for her. And for me – this also meant that I didn't have to worry about Val and the girls moving back into my house when the Olsens returned from Florida. Freeeeeeedom.

* * *

Dickie returned from Boston just in time to go to Friday night dinner at my parents' house. Yes, he was thrilled at his good fortune and timing. I shared with him the good news about Val's settlement with Steve, and we moved into the kitchen to find wine to take with us.

"What's this?" Dickie asked, looking at the paperwork I had on the kitchen counter.

"Oh – I went to see my doctor. Mary Lou said there's all this stuff you're meant to do before you even think about having a baby, so I thought that I'd go and find out what that is," I told him. I thought that he would be happy – he's the one who has been pushing for us to have a baby – but instead he looked annoyed.

"Blood tests? STD tests? What do you need those for?"

"Some diseases can cause issues with babies, so they do those tests as standard. Everyone has to do them, it's nothing to worry about."

"Will our insurance cover these? I don't think you should get them done if you don't need to."

"I don't need to get them done yet. I'm sure insurance will cover it. What wine do you think we should take?" I asked, changing the subject. He picked out a red wine, and we left, arriving at my parents exactly on time.

Mom and Grandma were waiting at the door, as usual. Grandma had a sparkle in her eye.

"We're going to have a good dinner tonight! Lots of eye candy. Your sister has brought the hottie detective along but he's her date this time, not mine. Now I just need to invite a man over and we'd be all set," she told us. I rolled my eyes. Great, Joe was here again. He apparently hadn't gotten enough punishment the first time. I swear that man will do anything to not have to cook.

Dinner with relatively well – Dad and Grandma made pointed comments at each other, Dickie and Joe made comments at each other – apparently those who try to put people behind bars and those who defend the same people in court don't get along with each other – or was it just trying to put two alpha males together in the same room? I rolled my eyes and drank more wine. Dickie could drive home.

We had just finished eating when Valerie suddenly jumped up and rushed out of the room, with the hand over her mouth. We could hear her rush upstairs and slam the bathroom door.

Mom sent the girls into the lounge room to watch TV and started clearing plates and getting ready for dessert. She'd just brought the cake out to the table when Val returned. She was still looking green.

"Valerie, are you all right? Was it something you ate? Are you sick? Is everything okay? Should I call a doctor?" Mom was working her way up into a panic.

"No, mom, I'm fine. I'm just… pregnant," Val said. She sounded miserable, or maybe she was about to vomit again.

I looked at Dickie. He looked at me. I tried to subtlety count on my fingers. Val had been in New Jersey for four months. So pregnant to who? Steve? Or someone else? Slowly it all dawned on us and we all looked across the table at Joe. He looked pale.

I sat there, stunned. We were all silent. Val was pregnant. To Joe. Val was knocked up by Joseph Morelli. Val, the good girl, Saint Valerie, knocked up to the bad boy of the Burg. Sure, she was 32, and Joe was now a detective and on the good side of the law and reasonably successful, and, as everyone noted, was quite a decent human being for a Morelli man, but still – scandal. A scandal that wasn't all about me. Was it Christmas already?


	19. Chapter 19 - White Christmas

Thank you everyone for the reviews, I really appreciate all of them and do a happy little dance inside when I get a notification for a new one. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Val was pregnant. To Joseph Morelli. My mother had warned me about staying away from that Morelli boy (for all the good that did) but clearly hadn't had the same talk with Valerie.

My father stared at them with his mouth open. Grandma sat there eyeing off Joe like she was wondering what he was like in bed. She probably was wondering what he was like in bed. My mother recovered first, jumping up in delight. "Oh, a baby! Congratulations! Will you get married? When is the wedding?" she asked.

"We can't get married, Mom."

"Why not?" my mother asked, then I could see the realisation on her face as it dawned on her. Val couldn't marry Joe because Val was still married to Steve.

Joe cleared his throat. "I need to talk to Val," he said. Grandma grabbed the cake and we all filed out into the living room.

"Why are we eating cake in the living room?" asked Angie.

"Because it's too cold to eat it outside," Grandma Mazur said.

"Where's Mommy and Joe?" Mary Alice asked.

"They're just having a chat," I told her.

We all looked at the kitchen door. I knew that Grandma wanted to have her ear pressed up against the door, and possibly Mom too, but we had to behave ourselves with Angie and Mary Alice watching. After ten minutes of hearing the occasional raised voice, the door opened and Joe and Val stepped out. They weren't holding hands, but they didn't look angry with each other either.

"Girls, grab your coats, it's time to go home," Val said. Angie and Mary Alice found their coats and boots and got ready to walk the two streets home.

"I'll drive you home," Joe said.

"Thanks," Val said softly, not quite looking at him, then they walked out the door together with the girls.

We all sat there in stunned silence.

"I can't decide," my father said, "Do I get the shotgun out or not?"

"I'll get mine!" said Grandma.

"No!" Dickie and I both yelled at her. I went into the kitchen, packed up cake, and decided it was time to go.

Dickie and I said goodnight, and walked out the door together. We got in the car without speaking. Dickie's family were boring – mother, father, no siblings. His grandmother played lawn bowls and knitted. They were perfect for his future senator career. My family, not so much. Did they hold the crazy in while Dickie and I were dating, or did he overlook it for me? I squeezed his hand.

"That wasn't the pregnancy announcement that your mother was hoping for this year," he said. I laughed. My poor mother. Saint Valerie had fallen. I'm sure a neighbour had managed to overhear or sense the news and phone lines would be ringing right now.

* * *

The next night Dickie had a work function on, the annual firm Christmas party. It was scheduled to be a much fancier night than his other work Christmas parties, and since my firm of me and a pregnant Val wasn't really up to a big night out (nor did we have the budget for it), I was looking forward to it. I'd bought a new dress on sale the week before, had my favourite heels to go with it, and was trying out my new intergalatic space princess lingerie.

The party was being held at Dickie's boss's house, and it was huge and overwhelming. It made our own house look tiny. No wonder Dickie was always telling me that we'd have a bigger house someday. I would need a team of Ellas if this was what he had in mind.

This was a different crowd to what I was used to. Dickie's work as a public defender meant that while there were usually a lot of important people in the room, none of them were that wealthy. Powerful, yes, wealthy, no. The people in this room looked like a mixture of both. I saw politicians, wealthy clients, and some that I recognised from the Burg as Family. I nodded to Connie Rissoli's uncle and was hugged enthusiastically by my cousin Vinnie's father-in-law Harry (aka Harry the Hammer). Dickie squeezed my hand, then left to go and talk with clients.

"Stephanie! How are you? Any children yet?" Harry asked me.

"No, not yet," I said, hugging him back. I liked Harry. He hadn't killed Vinnie yet, and most of us were tempted to even without having access to Mob hitmen.

"None for Lucille and Vinnie yet either. Lucille says they're trying though. We'll see that if little weasel can reproduce," Harry said. Harry loved children, and his daughter Lucille. Harry didn't understand what Lucille saw in Vinnie (none of us understood what Lucille saw in Vinnie), but he accepted her choice anyway and did his best to make sure that she was happy.

I chatted to Harry for a few minutes, then moved off to get a drink. I tried to be a good corporate wife and practise for my future role of a politician's wife by chatting politely with Dickie's co-workers, and with anyone that I vaguely recognised in the room. We weren't too far out of the Burg, so there was a few people for me to talk to. News about Valerie and Joe seemed to be keeping quiet, and I wondered how they'd done that – had Joe snuck into her house while out walking Bob? Come in through the alleyway?

There was a flurry of noise and whispers and I turned to see that Alexander Ramos had entered the party, accompanied by his eldest son, Hannibal. I wondered if Ramos would recognise me from the brief car ride that we shared together and decided to stay out of his way the entire evening, just in case. I didn't want to explain that one to Dickie. Or to anyone, really.

I decided to move out of the room and went looking for Dickie. I eventually found him in what looked like a study with other people from his office. They were gathered around a desk. Ah so I see we're up to the cocaine part of the party, where we make it a white Christmas.

"Steph!" he said. He was a bit too loud and bright. He sniffed.

"Hey there. I was looking for you," I told him. He grinned at me.

"We were just chatting in here. I'll be out soon. Go get another drink." I nodded and left the room. I hated Dickie's drug use. He kept it to a minimum, mostly at parties where it seemed that almost everyone was doing it, or had done it in the past, strictly recreationally. It wasn't that much different from drinking alcohol, Dickie had told me when I brought it up once.

I went out to the main room, and got another drink, and filled a tiny plate with tiny snacks. What I really wanted was a bucket of fried chicken, or pizza. I could probably talk Dickie into stopping on the way home.

I chatted with Dickie's boss's wife Simone, assured her that I was having a lovely time and her house looked fantastic, was introduced to a few more people, and then finally stocked up on more snacks and retreated to a quiet corner. Tiny snacks do not a dinner make, and I was hungry.

I felt a presence behind me and turned, noticing an expensive black suit, hair long enough to go back into a ponytail, diamond earrings that were large enough that I wished they were mine and a neutral expression. Ranger.

"Ranger! Hello!" I said. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before remembering that we didn't really know each other that well. Good one, Stephanie, you just kissed the mercenary on the cheek. He likes you though, so he'll probably let you live. "I haven't seen you in a while. I've been thinking about getting an alarm system. Or at least upgrading my lock. How have you been?"

"Busy."

"Is your business going well?"

"Yes."

"Chatty, I see."

He smiled briefly. Good to see that I still amused him.

"I've had to travel for work the last couple of months. Luckily my second in command can run it without me there. How is the lingerie business?"

"It's great!" I beamed. "It's selling well for Christmas. And I'm designing a new line. In fact I'm wearing my new stuff right now a trial to see how comfortable it is." He raised one eyebrow at me.

"Do I get a preview?" he asked me. I blushed. Note to Stephanie, don't play with the hard ass mercenary when you're a few drinks down. This isn't a game that you'll win.

"What are you doing here? Are you a client of the law firm?"

"The old man wanted me along. So I came."

"Ramos?" I asked. He gave me a quick nod in return.

"It's best to do as he asks if you want to stay on his good side."

"Yeah. That's why I took him for a drive that time," I told Ranger. Ranger did not look impressed. Probably I shouldn't have brought that one up.

"I heard congratulations is in order for your sister and Morelli," Ranger said. I looked up in surprise.

"How did you hear that already?"

"Gazarra is a gossip."

"Shirley the whiner strikes again. Mom must have been talking to dad's sister, probably swore her to silence. Everyone will know by tomorrow," I said.

"Probably."

His eyes flicked around the room, then back to me.

"Where's your husband?"

"Busy."

"You deserve better than that."

"It's fine. This is a work function. He has people to talk to."

"And coke to snort."

Ouch. That one actually did hurt.

"You deserve better," he said. "If you were my woman I wouldn't leave your side."

"How alpha male of you," I told him. This Ranger wasn't as relaxed as the version I'd previously met. I couldn't imagine him sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee and ignoring cookies. This one was on guard and on edge. I could see where his mercenary reputation came from. I wouldn't want to be on the bad side of this Ranger, and I suspected that Dickie was.

I looked around the room, and then turned back to Ranger to make an excuse to leave but he had proved that I wasn't his woman by disappearing from my side. When I looked back around Dickie was making his way across the room to me. He kissed me possessively and I rolled my eyes. The last time he did that was when Morelli was lurking around my parents' house before Val appeared back into our lives.

"Brad said that you were talking to Manoso," Dickie said.

"Who?"

"Carlos Manoso."

"Is he a partner at the firm? I don't remember being introduced to him."

"He was wearing all black, he always wears all black. He came with Alexander Ramos."

"Oh, Ranger! He's a friend of Morelli's. I met him when I took Grandma to Stiva's for a viewing one time."

"Manoso was at a funeral home?"

"It was when Moogey Bues was shot. Remember, I told you how Grandma tried to lift the lid and I got banned from chocolate pudding because I didn't stop her?"

Dickie looked a bit confused. I didn't blame him.

"I see you found your husband," I heard. Old man, Greek accent. Alexander Ramos. Uh oh.


	20. Chapter 20 - Pancakes fix everything

Alexander Ramos bent down and took my hand.

"A woman as beautiful as you shouldn't be unescorted. I'm glad to see you found your husband. I didn't realise that I knew him also," he said, and looked over at Dickie, who paled.

Crap. I thought old men were supposed to have bad memories. Hannibal was next to his father and I could see Ranger behind him. His face was blank but his eyes looked cold and furious.

"Yes, luckily we found each other again," I said, taking Dickie's arm and pulling him close. I didn't want to story of me chasing Dickie over half of New Jersey to get out, and I also didn't want Ramos to try to defend me and decide that getting rid of my husband would be the best way.

"That's good. I would hate to think that anything would come between such a happy young couple. Especially with a wife as lovely as this one. In fact, if I was any younger, I would try to steal you for myself. And I wouldn't cheat, I am too old for that," Ramos said. Dickie looked nervous. Hannibal was bored, and Ranger looked torn between amusement and wanting to kill someone.

"Thank you," I said to Ramos. I had no idea what to say, so using manners seemed like the best option.

"Excuse us, we have another engagement to get to," Hannibal said.

"Ah yes, I'd forgotten," his father said. Oh that you manage to forget, I thought. I finger waved to the men as they walked away.

I looked over at Dickie. When we were first married, he talked about what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a public defender, good for a background history and networking, and then work his way up into a respectable law firm, stay there a few years, build up some money, and then move into politics. I didn't care about the money, but I did wonder when he had changed – his firm now might have been wealthy, but it wasn't respectable, and I didn't think that having clients like Alexander Ramos would be helping his future political career. Neither was the coke he did at parties. This wasn't the nineties, that wasn't acceptable, and with the interest there weren't secrets anymore. I sighed, suddenly tired.

"I want to go home," I said.

"What, already? Come on, Steph. It's a party!" Dickie said.

"Great party. Any more arms dealers you want me to meet?" I asked him, then walked away while he was silent.

I managed to get out the door without anyone noticing, and started walking down the street. I should stopped and summoned an Uber, but that would require staying still and increasing the chances that Dickie would find me. If he bothered to look.

I'd walked a block when a black SUV glided up beside me and pulled to a stop. A window wound down. I kept walking.

"You need to be more aware of your surroundings, Babe," Ranger said.

"I'm fine."

"Want a lift?"

"No."

"It's late, it's too far for you to walk home, and you could run into trouble."

"No I won't."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," I said again, then yelped as I crashed into a mountain of a man. "Oh no, I'm sorry!" I looked up. And then up some more. He was giant, and dressed in black, so I guessed he knew Ranger.

"That's not fair, you distracted me!" I yelled at Ranger. I heard rumbles to my left and looked over. The man mountain was barely managing to contain himself.

"That's Tank, my partner," Ranger introduced us. "Tank, meet Steph."

"Nice to meet you, Steph," Tank said, holding his hand out. I shook it.

"Would you like a lift home, or would you like me walk with you to escort you safely?" Tank asked me. I sighed.

"Can we go through a drive through on the way? They only had tiny food at the party."

Tank started to rumble again and opened the door for me.

"Where's your friends?" I asked Ranger.

"I was only required at the party. Extra muscle to impress the Grizzolis."

"Tank wasn't invited?"

"Tank is my back-up."

"I'm here in case they need a real man," said Tank.

"Ramos likes you," Ranger told me. I couldn't figure out if that was a warning or a compliment.

"It's a compliment," Ranger said. Did I talk out loud?

"Great. An old arms dealer likes me," I said.

"It could be worse. He could hate you. Besides, it's nice to have powerful friends. It might come in handy one day."

We made it back to my house with a burger and fries for me, and nothing for Ranger and Tank. I invited them in, figuring I could probably find some apples in the fridge. I kept them for when Mary Alice would only eat horse food. I missed that kid. Tank declined my offer to come in, but Ranger said that he would come in and check that the house was safe. Apparently my door locks had not magically grown more secure.

Ranger looked through the house while I rummaged in the fridge for apples.

"You really should get an alarm," he told me.

"You know anyone in security?" I asked.

"I can send someone around tomorrow."

"Why don't I make an appointment next week?"

"I'll look forward to it," he said, handing over a business card. I looked it over.

"I didn't know your real name until tonight. Dickie asked me if I'd been talking to Carlos Manoso and I had no idea who he was talking about," I told Ranger.

"Ranger is my street name. It's what the Trenton police call me."

"What should I call you?"

"Whatever you like."

I handed over the apples, told him to share with Tank and locked the door behind him.

I went to bed, still mad at Dickie. I expected to see him there in the morning when I woke up, but he wasn't there, and his side of the bed looked untouched. I figured that he must have decided to sleep in our spare bedroom, but that bed was empty too when I checked.

I started worrying. Had Dickie not come home last night? Had he been in an accident? Did Alexander Ramos decide that I was better off without him and have him removed?

I pulled out my phone and called Dickie. No answer. The phone went straight to message bank. Half an hour later I was on the verge of panicking. I heard a noise at the front door and rushed to open it. It was Dickie, fumbling with his keys.

"Dickie! Oh my God, I was so worried!" I said, throwing myself into his arms.

"Geez, Steph, calm down. What's wrong?"

"You didn't come home last night and you're not answering your phone. I was worried about you."

"I'm fine. I had too much to drink and decided to stay the night in one of Brad's spare rooms. My phone battery went flat."

I took a step back and looked at him. Although he was still wearing the same clothes as last night, he looked freshly showered and clean, and there were no signs of frostbite, so he hadn't fallen asleep on a park bench anywhere.

"Do you want to go out for breakfast? I need some pancakes," he said. Well, there was a good idea. I showered and got dressed while Dickie changed his clothes, then we headed out to a nearby cafe for a late breakfast.

We'd placed our orders of pancakes, bacon, eggs and sausages and were waiting on coffee when Dickie started talking.

"I was thinking about what you said. You're right, Steph, this firm isn't what I thought it would be when I joined up. I didn't realise that I'd be assigned to Alexander Ramos."

"You're not okay with working for Ramos?"

"No! I don't want my name associated with him."

"So what will you do?"

"I'll find another firm" Dickie said. "There's a new one opening up and they did ask me to come and work for them. I wasn't sure because it's quite small but maybe it's the right move to make for a few years. They're offering a lot of money."

"I don't care about the money, Dickie."

"No offense, Steph, but that's easy for you to say. I'm paying most of the bills in the house, and thinking about our future. You don't plan past tomorrow."

I thought that was unfair. I had a five year plan, it was just completely different to Dickie's five year plan so he thought that it didn't count. I wanted to build Plum Lingerie into a success story, get the product into stores, start my own production instead of relying on other manufacturers and be a big enough success that I could employ my friends who were unhappy at their jobs. Because it didn't involve children and a bigger house and a perfectly groomed golden retriever and supporting my politician husband, Dickie thought that it didn't count.

Our coffee arrived and interrupted that train of thought. I added sugar to mine and waited. I hadn't drunk much that night, but had enough of a hangover that I wanted to go back to bed and ignore Dickie for a while.

The food arrived soon after so I got to ignore Dickie in favour of eating. Pancakes and bacon could make anything better.

* * *

Monday morning arrived too quickly. I usually loved Mondays and the ability of focus on my business without a sense of Catholic guilt that I was working on a Sunday instead of going to church. But today, I had to deal with Val. She arrived and promptly burst into tears.

"Oh Steph! What will I do? I'm still married, I can't even get married again even if I wanted to!"

"What does Joe want to do?"

"I don't know! We haven't talked about it. He dropped us home on Friday and we were going to talk but then he got a call into work and had to leave and I haven't heard from him since."

"Well you need to talk to him first of all. It's his baby, right? So you need to talk it over with him."

"Of course it's his baby! Whose else would it be?"

I bit back my reply. No need to point out to Val that traditionally babies come from your husband, not the Italian Stallion a few streets away who likes to walk his dog past your house. Then again, this is the Burg. There are probably way more Morellis around than everyone admits to.

I sighed. Dealing with Valerie and being her support network took up a lot of my work time. I told Val to go into the spare bedroom and take a nap. She looked like a wreck.

I went into my office to turn on my computer on to check our latest orders and noticed a business card on the keyboard, where I'd put it to remind myself to follow up on Monday. I picked up my phone and called the number on the business card.

"RangeMan, how may I direct your call?"


	21. Chapter 21 - Welcome to RangeMan

"RangeMan, how can I help you?"

I'd honestly expected Ranger to answer with his casual "Yo!", so I was a bit taken aback by the professional greeting.

"Ranger? Or Carlos? Uh, hi, it's Stephanie Plum." I could hear a soft laugh.

"Hi Steph. I'm glad you called. What can I do for you?"

"I've been thinking about what you said, and I'd like to get an alarm system for the house."

"Great idea. A five year old could get past your locks."

"Do you want to come out and inspect the house?"

"I had a good enough look around the other night when I dropped you home. Why don't I put my idea together into a plan, and then you can visit later this week and I'll take you through them?"

"That sounds great. Tomorrow afternoon?"

"I can do two. Is that okay?"

"That's fine."

"See you then, babe," he said, and hung up.

I sighed. Distraction over, it was time to check on Val. She was asleep on the bed. I put a blanket over her, and then went back to my desk. I had a few more days to safely post orders and make sure that they'd be there by Christmas, and my email kept pinging with new orders. I loved it – the rush of the orders, knowing that Plum Blossoms and Plum Vintage orders would be going out to make women happy (even if they were ordering for themselves).

I was down in the garage looking through the remaining boxes when there was a knock at my front door.

I threw it open to find Morelli. He was a few days past his five o'clock shadow, a few weeks past needing a haircut, and looked like he desperately needed sleep. Things must not be going that well in Vice at the moment. We stared at each other before I moved aside to invite him in.

"I came to see Val," he said.

"I'd hope you were here to see Val. It would be weird if you'd knocked up my sister but was here to see me," I told him.

"Is she here?" he asked, a bit awkwardly.

"She's asleep. I don't think she'll been sleeping well," I told him. He nodded.

"Me neither, but hopefully a weekend gangland murder spree isn't what was keeping her up. I got called into work on Friday night, and I've been sleeping at the station. It's been hectic."

"Where's Bob?" I asked him.

"My mother took him. I hope that he's behaving or Grandma Bella will have put The Eye on him by now."

I took Morelli into the kitchen, made him a giant coffee and toasted both of us a waffle. Once I'd finished eating, I moved into the dining room to finish packing orders. Morelli followed me in, so I decided to put him to work sealing the packages.

"This looks like you're doing well, Cupcake," he said, looking at the orders I had ready to take to the post office.

"Thanks, I think that we are. You'd better stop calling me Cupcake though, unless you want to remind my sister of the reason behind it."

"Right. Good point. I'm a reformed man. No more names for anyone. It will be a change, using actual names, but I'm up for the challenge."

"Is there anyone in The Burg that you haven't slept with?" I asked Joe.

"Mary Lou. You think she'd be up for it?" he said, winking at me. I hit him on the shoulder in response.

We packed for a few minutes in silence, then Morelli sighed.

"I don't even know if I'd make a good husband. Cops tend to be shitty husbands," he said, frowning pensively. I had to resist the urge to smooth the lines out of his forehead. Morelli was good looking in high school, but he'd only gotten better as he'd matured.

"You don't have to get married."

"Yes we do, there's a baby coming. It's what you do when there's a baby on the way."

"You need to talk to Val about this," I told him, not wanting to get involved.

"Yeah, I do. Before our mothers decide to start meddling."

"Probably already too late, but that's a good plan."

I heard a noise on the stairs and went out to warn Val that Morelli had arrived, but he followed me out, and Val stopped halfway down the stairs when she saw him.

"Hi Val," he said.

"Hi Joe," she said softly.

"I'm sorry how I left things on Friday night, I got called into work, and I've been working non-stop since," Morelli began explaining to Val, and I moved back into the dining room to give them some privacy, and to keep working.

Half an hour later I heard the front door close and Joe's truck start up. I went out to see Val. She was sitting on the couch, looking a bit stunned.

"He wants to get married," she said.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"I don't want to make the same mistakes again. I don't want to rush into it for the wrong reasons. Do I really want to get married again?" Val said. It sounded like she had a lot of thinking to do.

"Maybe you should start with, do you want to marry Joe? Do you love him?"

"I don't know. I like him. I've known him for a long time. He has a good job, he has his own house, he's nice to the girls."

"That doesn't mean you have to marry him though. Think about it, there's no rush," I said.

"Yeah, right," Val said, looking down at her stomach.

* * *

RangeMan was located in a seven story office building, only a five minute drive from my house. I found a park down the block and walked in, managing to be on time.

I was surprised when I walked into the building to find the main RangeMan reception desk on the ground floor. It looked like RangeMan took up all of the building. I'd assumed it was a small outfit that took up part of a floor. Looks like I was very, very wrong.

"Good morning," a booming voice greeting me as I approached the desk. The man behind the desk looked to be as big as Tank, but was white, with a short neat haircut. Probably former military too.

"Hi, I'm Stephanie Plum," I said, waving as I walked up.

"Ms Plum, welcome to RangeMan. I'm Hal. Here's your name tag that you're required to wear while you're in the building."

I had an ugly name tag with my name on it fixed to me, and Hal gestured towards the elevator which slid open like magic. Tank was inside, and looked happy to see me.

"Hi Steph! Usually we meet clients in our Conference Rooms but Ranger's on a phone call so he asked if we could bring you up to five."

"I didn't realise your business was so big already," I told Tank.

"This is the control floor," Tank said, as we stepped out of the elevator. I had a look around on the way to the offices on the far side of the floor. There was a bank of monitors being intently watched, a few cubicles, and what looked like the doorway to a break room at the back of the room. Tank nodded to a few of the man at the monitors, and stopped at the break room where he poured us coffees and offered me a muffin from a snack basket. I took the muffin, but it tasted healthy. With some more sugar, it would be fine.

Tank took me to the far end of the floor where there were some offices, and knocked on the door.

"You ready, Ranger?" he asked, pushing the door open. Ranger was seated behind a desk at the far end of the room, bookshelves behind him. Near the door there was a small table with four chairs around it, nearby to the window.

"Sure. Hi babe," he said, getting up and walking to the small table. I noticed a folder on the table. "I thought we could meet in here. It's less formal than the conference room."

"That's fine," I said, sitting down with my muffin. Tank waved and left. Ranger opened up the folder on the table to show me an outline of my house floor plan and suggested security options. I was surprised at how accurate the house was plan was, given he'd only been in my house a few times and upstairs only briefly to check it was safe.

Ranger went through the plan and suggestions with me. He'd suggested three different levels of security, from full video monitoring, to just an alarm system on the external doors. Video monitoring seemed a bit excessive, so I agreed to the alarm system with new locks on the external doors. RangeMan would monitor it, so if it was triggered, they'd call the house to see if there was an issue, then send a car out if there wasn't a reply. It sounded reasonable to me. I still wasn't sure if I would need it, but it had occurred to me that since I was now using our house as a business, and had thousands of dollars worth of stock in the garage and dining room, it was worth putting a monitored alarm on. My insurance company agreed, and with the reduction in premiums, the RangeMan security wouldn't actually cost that much each month.

I signed a contract, and Ranger said he could arrange for the system to be installed next week, just before Christmas. "We're busy with people wanting systems installed before they go away for the holidays, but I'll make sure you get covered off before the holidays," he said.

"It's fine, we're not going away. I'll probably work through the holidays except for Christmas Day," I told him.

"Me too. I take monitor duty so the men with families can be at home."

"Do you have family nearby?" I asked him.

"In Newark. I might make Christmas dinner if it's quiet."

I waved to Tank as we walked out, and Ranger took me down in the lift. I signed out and handed back my name tag.

* * *

I ordered Chinese food to be delivered for dinner, and made sure that there with white wine in the fridge ready to go. I had some wifely skills.

The garage door sounded promptly at 7pm and Dickie came into the kitchen shortly after, brief case in hand. He was looking excited.

"I went to see the partners for the new firm that wants to get me on board. It's brand new, and they're open to me being a partner. A partner! This could be great."

"That is great. Is there any catch though? I mean, how much is it going to cost us?"

"That's the best part, Steph! They need someone with my skills, and local knowledge. They're desperate to get me, and they're offering the partnership as the incentive to get me on board. There's no way we can lose," he said, dismissively.

He sounded really excited, and I hated to sound negative, but my spidey sense told me that this deal was too good to be true. I opened up the food cartons and dished up our dinner while still mulling it over.

"I also found out today that I got passed over for partnership this year at my current firm," Dickie said.

"Well this is your first year there," I reminded him. "Maybe you'd have more chance next year."

"I brought great connections to them, they should have made me a partner this year. Anyway, it just shows that this is a good time for me to be moving on to somewhere that appreciates me," Dickie said. It sounded like he'd already made his mind up, and I wasn't going to change it no matter what.

I sighed. Dickie was supportive of me when I wanted to start up Plum Lingerie instead of finding another job, so I guess this was my turn to be supportive of Dickie taking a chance on something new.

* * *

Friday night dinner at my parents' house. I thought about not going. It would be easier not to go. I sighed and got into the car. There would at least be cake. I texted Dickie a reminder to see if he could make it. If I was him, I'd come up with some sort of work emergency.

I stopped in at the Deli on the way to my parents, when I saw Margie Horowitz, who was in the grade between me and Val. I saw her look over at me a few times before coming over.

"Stephanie! How are you?" she asked.

"Great, Margie, how are you? How are your kids? Is it two boys that you have?"

"Two boys and a girl now! They're doing great. Anyway, speaking of kids..."

"Yes?"

"Is it true that your sister is pregnant? To Joe Morelli?"

"Ahhhhh..." I said, then turned and left. I was superstitious enough that I didn't want to deny anything, and had no idea what to do, so I just left. My mother, Grandmother, Val and Angie were all at the front door when I pulled up. Mary Alice was galloping around the front yard. I gave the girls a hug, and then indicated to Val that she should join me in the kitchen.

"Ah I was just at the Deli and saw Margie Horowitz, and she was asking about you, and uh… Morelli."

"Oh no. Everyone knows. Everyone! Grandma said they're all talking about it at the beauty parlour. What do I do?" Val asked frantically. "How do I pick up the girls from school knowing that everyone will be talking about me?"

"First of all, not everyone will be talking about you. Second of all, you bagged Joe Morelli."

"That's not exactly a unique point in The Burg."

"Okay, true, it's not like I can argue that point. But not only do you have Joe Morelli recent experience, but you are carrying his baby. And he's proposed! You've managed to get Joe Morelli to settle down."

"Because I'm pregnant!"

"He didn't have to propose though, did he? He wants to make this work with you, Val. That counts for something."

Val looked thoughtful. I think she was trying to be perky, but perhaps carrying Morelli spawn was interfering with her natural resiliency and perkiness.

We sat down for dinner. Angie was sitting at the table already, waiting for us, hands folded, head bowed. Mary Alice galloped up and came to the halt, nearly knocking down Grandma, who was trying to get a good spot at the table. My father was already sitting down. I helped my mother and Val move food from the kitchen to the table. There was a knock on the door right at 6pm, and Dickie walked in, giving me a kiss on the cheek and sitting down next to my father.

We all sat down and served up plates of food, then Angie looked up, made sure we were all ready, then said Grace.

"For what we are about to receive, make the Lord make us truly thankful, in Christ's name, Amen."

"Amen," we all said, crossing ourselves, then started passing the gravy.

We were halfway through eating, with Grandma going into great detail about a shooting at a fast food restaurant that she'd heard about that day, when we heard a knock at the door and Morelli came strolling in.

"Is there room for me?" he asked.

"Of course! I set an extra plate for you just in case," my mother said, jumping up and getting him a plate of food. She fussed over him as he sat down.

I wouldn't have imagined a few years ago that my mother would be so welcoming to have Joe Morelli at our table. The Morelli men aren't known for their good behaviour in the Burg, but somewhere along the line Joe has become a decent human being – and, of course, Val's only chance of becoming respectably married. If she marries Joe, after a few years everyone will stop talking about and pretend to forget the short number of months between their wedding and the arrival of the baby. If she doesn't, well, they're always going to mention it. Luckily the Morellis are always having scandals, so it might just blend in. Of course, no one will ever mention this where Angie Morelli might overhear them. Angie Morelli is the best housewife of the Burg, and, by all accounts, a saint.

Grandma's eyes lit up when she looked at Joe.

"I was just telling everyone about the shooting today. Did you see the shooting?"

"Nope. I investigate things. I don't show up until after shootings," Joe said.

"It must be a pip of the job, always being in danger," Grandma said.

"I'm rarely in danger. I'm in Vice at the moment, so I get there after the action is over."

"But not all the time!" Grandma said. "I heard from Mabel that there was a shooting at Terri Gilman's house last week and you had to jump out of her second story bedroom window! That must have been exciting!"

"Not really," said Joe, eyes flicking over to Val.

"Mabel said Terri was just dressed in lingerie that was a bit see through and barely covered her up. Steph, maybe you should send her some better fitting stuff? Mabel thinks that Terri has had a boob job, did you get a close look? Do you think she'd had one?" Grandma asked.

"Was it a good quality job?" Dickie asked.

"I couldn't say," Joe said.

"You were with Terri?" Val asked. We were all quiet. Joe and Terri were prom king and queen at high school. They might have been destined to be together, except that Terri was a mob princess and Joe was law abiding. His career in the police force meant that they stayed apart permanently, although there had been rumours in the recent years about them.

"Yes, I had to go see her the other night."

"You didn't tell me you still saw Terri."

"I do for work. I told you that I had to work."

"You didn't mention that working involved being undressed."

"Well, to be clear, I was fully dressed," Morelli said.

"It would have been hard to jump out her window so quickly if you weren't!" Grandma said. "Did you have shoes on?"

"Yes, I had shoes on," Joe said. He was getting close to losing his temper again. Joe had a lot of patience for a Morelli, but getting questioned over why he was in a half-naked Terri Gilman's bedroom might be pushing it.

He wasn't the only one who was close to losing their temper though.

"You were in Terri Gilman's bedroom. And she was wearing lingerie. And you had to jump out her window," Val stated, getting louder. We all turned to look at her. "AND SHE WAS WEARING LINGERIE!" she yelled. She got up.

"I'm not doing this again! You put up with one excuse, and then another, and then before you know it your husband is in the closest with the babysitter, but of course there's an excuse and then he runs off with the babysitter and all your money! I'm not doing it again!" she said, and stormed out of the house. My mother looked up with concern.

"It's snowing outside and she doesn't have a coat on," she said, ignoring everything else that just happened.

"I'll go after her," Joe said, and walked out the front, grabbing coats on his way.

"What's a boob job?" Mary Alice asked.


	22. Chapter 22 - Merry Christmas

Since the Plums celebrate Christmas, I wanted to have this chapter up before the real Christmas. Thank you to everyone for reading, I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

My mother was thrilled. I'd gotten a call from a report a few days earlier who wanted to interview about Plum Lingerie. The paper had published the interview a few days earlier and my mother bought five copies. The interview was about local businesses who had started up in the area. There was a nice photo of me, and they'd even included my website details.

"You're a role model now," she told me. "You need to make sure you eat all your vegetables and brush your hair and don't swear in public."

"Ma!" I said, wondering what she thought I usually went around doing if that's what she felt she needed to warn me over. I mean, she was right on the vegetables one though, I should probably do more of that.

It had increased local sales and I'd added a free local delivery for the pre-Christmas rush orders. I'd just finished dropping off orders and had stopped at my parents' house to see Mom and Grandma and get some cake.

Val was picking the girls up from school. She and Morelli seemed to have worked things out after the Terri Gilman incident, but she hadn't accepted his proposal yet. My mother wanted to know when they'd get married and when Val would move into his house. Morelli seemed content to wait and had started working on installing a half bath on the lower floor of his house. Since he and Bob only needed one toilet between them, I was assuming he was hopeful that Val would accept his proposal.

Val and I had been at a local cafe a few days earlier, treating the girls to an after school milkshake, when Angie Morelli and Grandma Bella had walked past. I'd looked away but Val had accidentally made eye contact through the glass with Grandma Bella and before we knew it, she was tapping on the glass. I swear that I saw Angie Morelli roll her eyes.

Grandma Bella came into the store, Angie trailing behind her.

"You! I saw you in my vision!" she said.

"Grandma Bella, this is Val. You know Val. Joe brought her to dinner last week," she said.

"I had a vision of Joseph having children with a blonde woman! It was you!" Grandma Bella said. "You will have six bambinos, all boys!"

Angie Morelli sighed, and my niece Angie sighed at the same time. I looked at them. Angie Morelli was a sainted Burg housewife who had the unenviable role of looking after Grandma Bella, and Angie was a perfect little Burg housewife in training, who had Mary Alice to look after. It was possible they were kindred spirits.

"It's nice to see you again, Grandma Bella. How are you?" Val asked politely.

"Tired! Having a vision always makes me tired! I need to go and lie down," Grandma Bella said, and Angie Morelli said goodbye politely as she ushered her out.

"So, six bambinos, hey?" I said to Val.

"Well I'm halfway there," she said, kissing both her girls on the head.

* * *

School was closed, so Val wasn't coming into work. I'd arranged for the RangeMan install to happen, so was doubtful that I'd get much work done anyway. I'd cut off orders until after Christmas, so I had a few local deliveries to get done, and then everything else could wait until after.

I was getting ready to pack up the last orders when there was a knock on the door. Ranger stood there, dressed in his black cargos and work shirt. Another man in a Rangeman uniform stood behind him, holding a workbox – although this Ranageman was Hispanic like the majority of the workers I'd seen, he had a thin build and that combined with the tear drop tattoo under his eye made me guess that he wasn't military.

"This is Hector," Ranger said, introducing him.

"Hello Hector," I said, waving to him.

"Hola," Hector said.

"Hector doesn't speak English," Ranger told me. They came into the house and Hector unrolled the plans that Ranger had drawn up, and they talked together in Spanish. Hector gestured at the door and Ranger nodded. Before I knew it, Hector had removed the old lock and replaced it with a new one. Ranger handed me over a set of keys.

"Hector will do the install. I've got to go, but I'll be back before he finishes up. If you have any issues, give me a call."

"Hector scares me a little," I confessed to Ranger.

"You must be brave, because he scares the pants off me," Ranger said. Hector looked over and winked at both of us.

I went back to parking orders in the dining room. I could hear Hector moving around the house, drilling and installing sensors and other things in the house. At one point I took a break, and made a mug of hot chocolate. I didn't know how to offer to make one in Spanish, in fact my Spanish is embarrassingly limited, so I made an extra one up without asking and took it to Hector. I figured that I could drink it myself if he said no, but he took the mug from me and said, "Gracias, Estephania." I didn't know what to say, so I awkwardly waved and then went back to the dining room.

I had just finished the last of the packing when Ranger arrived back at the house.

"You left the door unlocked," he told me.

"What, you think anything was going to happen with Hector here with me? The bad guys would take one look at him and run away."

"That is what tends to happen," Ranger said mildly. I wondered what was the story behind those words.

"Hector called me Estephania," I told Ranger.

"It's the Spanish version of Stephanie," he said.

"I liked it. It makes my name sound sexy," I said to Ranger. His eyes darkened as he looked at me.

"Hector's gay, Estephania."

"That's not fighting fair," I told him. He'd taken information that I'd told him, then used it against me.

"I'm a mercenary, what's your point?" he asked, stepping closer. We were only a footstep apart from each other at this point. I looked up at him and licked my lips, a nervous habit. Ranger looked like he was going to move and close the space between us, but we heard footsteps on the stairs and Hector appeared. "Saved by the Hector," Ranger said, and moved away. He and Hector had a conversation in Spanish, then Hector walked towards the kitchen.

"Hector says that he's finished the installation and it's programmed with the code you chose. He also said that he'll leave the empty mug in the kitchen and to thank you for the hot chocolate. I should have warned you about giving my staff treats, they're only used to healthy foods and they may never leave you along if you feed them."

"Sounds like Bob," I said.

"They're fair better trained than Morelli's dog," Ranger said, grinning. "That dog is a menace."

When I got back from delivering packages, Dickie was already home. There was also a Rangeman vehicle in the driveway, with a Rangeman employee in it, and Tank standing in the driveway in conversation with Dickie. I checked my phone which had fallen to the bottom of my bag. Three missed calls. One from Rangeman, two from Dickie. Uh-oh. It must have rang while I was out of the car. Dickie did not look happy.

"I went into the garage and an alarm went off! And my key doesn't work! What is going on, Stephanie?"

"I told you that we were getting an alarm system!"

"You didn't say that it was from Carlos Manoso!"

"Yes I did! You just weren't listening to me. I told that I'd talked about it with Ranger. He's Morelli's friend. What's your issue with him?"

"He's a mercenary!"

"He's a security specialist, he was in the army," I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, he has a whole team of employees, it's not like he's going to be the one coming out here. He's too busy for that."

"He wasn't here for the installation?" Dickie asked.

"His employee Hector did the installation," I told Dickie, fudging the truth a little. It wasn't quite a lie, and since Dickie was being so annoying and unreasonable, I didn't feel bad about lying to him anyway. I was confident that Tank wouldn't rat me out. Tank was the strong, silent type.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the alarm system was active. I didn't expect you home so early," I apologised.

"It's Christmas Eve! Of course I'm home early!"

"You weren't last year! In fact, you were-", I stopped, not wanting to get into this fight again in front of Tank. I took a deep breath, thanked Tank for the quick response, pointed out to Dickie how well the system worked, then took him inside, and showed him how the system worked. I also gave him a key to the house since I was feel generous and didn't really want to lock him out permanently.

* * *

Christmas Eve dinner was with Dickie's parents. I dressed formally for the occasion, knowing that Dickie would be wearing a suit. He'd picked out gifts for his parents, and I'd added a bottle of nice wine to have with dinner, and a bottle of scotch for his father for afterwards.

"Hello Richard, Anne," I said, giving Dickie's mom a hug as we came into the house. Dickie shook hands with his father and handed over the bottle of wine.

We moved into the living room for pre-dinner drinks, then into the dining room. Dickie chatted with his parents and told them about his plans to switch law firms. They were supportive of Dickie, but they always were. Richard Orr the second had been a banker, not a lawyer, but Richard Orr the first had been a lawyer, so Dickie was somewhat following in a family tradition. They didn't ask about my plans, probably because they thought I shouldn't be working and should be at home, tending to my hard working husband's needs.

The dessert was a Christmas pudding. It was okay, but not as good as pineapple upside down cake.

We exchanged presents after dinner. Dickie and I usually swapped gifts at this dinner. I'd bought him a new watch that I'd seen James Bond wear in the latest movie, so I was confident that Dickie would like it.

Dickie handed me a wrapped present. "Merry Christmas, Stephanie." I kissed him as a thank you, then unwrapped it. I was floored. They were diamond studs, large enough to rival the ones that Ranger wears.

"I got a big sign on bonus with the new firm, so I decided you needed something extra special. Do you like them?" Dickie asked.

"I love them!" I said, kissing him enthusiastically.

"It sounds like a great decision to go with this new firm," his father said.

"I think it's going to be the best one I've ever made," Dickie said, smiling. Then he looked at me. "After marrying Steph, of course," he quickly added.

* * *

We had a lazy Christmas morning, then got ready mid morning to head over to my parents' house.

Christmas at my parents was usually chaotic enough with my dad and Grandma Mazur yelling at each other, and my mom trying to placate them but giving up and going to the kitchen to sneak sips of the cooking brandy. This year we had Val, Angie, Mary Alice, Joe and Bob added into the mix. Probably Mary Alice and Bob were the culprits of all the extra chaos, what with the neighing and galloping from Mary Alice and having to constantly watch Bob to make sure he didn't sneak off and eat the Christmas pudding. Dickie was looking like he had a headache. Joe, coming from a big Italian family of his own, looked relaxed.

We decided to do presents before lunch, and most of the presents were for the girls. They were delighted with their new toys, clothes and books. Joe had obviously made an effort to get to know the girls, because he'd gotten Mary Alice a unicorn onesie to wear, and Angie a set of the Little House on the Prairie Books. Mary Alice squealed in joy.

"I'm not just a horse anymore, I'm a unicorn!" she said. "Thank you, Joe, I'm going get changed right now!"

"Wait just one minute, okay, Mary Alice? There's one more present to go," Joe said. Mary Alice was charging around the living room in excitement.

Joe pulled a small box out of his pocket. He knelt down on one knee in front of Val.

"I know I've asked before, but I'd like to make it official. Valerie, will you marry me?"


	23. Chapter 23 - Mrs Morelli

Joe pulled a small box out of his pocket. He knelt down on one knee in front of Val.

"I know I've asked before, but I'd like to make it official. Valerie, will you marry me?"

Val looked at him and beamed.

"Yes, I will!" she said. Mary Alice cheered and Angie looked happy.

"Does this mean that Bob will be our brother?" Mary Alice asked, with her arms around Bob. Joe laughed.

"Bob is still a dog," he told her.

"When will you get married?" my mother asked.

"As soon as we can," Val said. "Probably in March."

"You won't get the VFW hall that soon. It books out quickly. Maybe we could get the Knights of Columbus hall. Or the rec room at the Seniors Centre," Grandma said.

"We're not going to have anything big," Joe said. "Just our families there. Maybe in the backyard."

We moved into the dining room to sit down for lunch, with my mother and grandmother still chattering away about wedding plans and how much room they would need, and Val and Joe getting quieter and quieter.

"I hate weddings," Joe said. "Someone in my family always gets drunk and starts a fight. Usually Anthony. Sometimes Mooch."

"I've already had a big wedding. I don't think it would be appropriate to do it again," Val said.

"I want to be a flower girl," said Angie.

"Not me! I'm a horse! I eat flowers!" said Mary Alice.

After we had eaten, Val asked if we could take a break before dessert. "I'd like to go and share our official news with Joe's family," she said. My mother pursed her lips. She looked like she wanted to say no, but in the interests of staying on the good side of Angie Morelli, she didn't want to.

"You don't have to hold up dessert for us, we can eat with my family," said Joe.

"Leave the girls here so they don't need to go out in the snow," my mother said. I think that was a win overall for her – she was sharing Val with the Morellis, but not Mary Alice or Angie just yet.

I scooped out ice cream for the girls, and then cut the rest of us some apple pie. I was excited for Val and Joe, although part of me still thought that Morelli was a jerk and I hoped that he wouldn't hurt Val. After Steve's betrayal, I didn't want to see her hurt again by another cheating male. I put a slice of apple pie down in front of Dickie, who was checking something on his phone.

"No work today," I reminded him, and he quickly slid his phone back into his pocket. We finished our desserts, then said goodbye to the girls and got ready to leave. I was exhausted from spending the day with my family.

* * *

We'd just gotten home when my phone rang. It was Mary Lou.

"You didn't tell me that Morelli had proposed!" she said.

"I didn't want to tell people before Val did," I told her.

"I had to find out from Joe's second cousin Brenda! Brenda!"

"Don't you have children you should be spending the day with?"

"You are the worst best friend ever," she teased me.

"So sorry, I can't hear you, I'm off to have a nap," I teased back.

"Enjoy it while you can!" Mary Lou said, and hung up.

"Who was that?" Dickie asked.

"Mary Lou, news of Joe and Val's engagement is spreading," I told Dickie. Dickie nodded, then poured himself a drink and moved upstairs to his office. I guess Christmas was over, so I decided to start working too. You can't beat a workaholic, so you might as well join them.

* * *

The next three months passed quickly and before we knew it, Val's divorce to Steve became final. Steve didn't respond in any way or reach out to Val and the girls. Joe and Val had been trying to plan a quiet wedding but faced with the forces of the Plum and Morelli families, they disappeared the first weekend after Val's divorce went through and sent us all a photo from Las Vegas. Val and Morelli looked happy, and Angie and Mary Alice were looking estactic with Angie in a traditional white flower girl dress, and Mary Alice wearing the same but with a unicorn headband. Val told me later that she'd wanted to go to Disneyworld, but Morelli refused to set foot there.

They came back to Jersey a week later, and Val and the girls moved into Morelli's house with him. Angie and Mary Alice were sharing a bedroom, which I couldn't see ending well. Morelli started work on converting the basement into extra living space, although it seemed to involve a lot of drinking beer with Mooch. Val seemed content though, and was happy to slip back into her housewife life.

"Steph, I need to tell you something."

"Hmmm?" I said. I was looking at the final samples for my Space Princess range. I just needed a catchier name for it.

"I need to quit my job," Val said. I looked up and over at her. We hadn't been fighting, and Plum Lingerie was going so well that there was enough work for Val to do. If she quit, I might actually have to replace her, or go back to working long hours.

"Why?" I asked. Val did a gesture to her belly. She was five months pregnant, with the baby due in late July. She still had months to go.

"Well it's not like I'm going to be working after the baby comes. And Joe wants me to finish up now. I can be at home with the girls, and get to know other parents at their school, and spend more time with Joe. We only have a few months together before Junior arrives."

"Junior? Did you find out that you're having a boy?" I asked Val.

"No! We will soon. But we know it's a boy. All the Morellis have boys," Val said. "And Grandma Bella said that she saw us having a boy."

"She said that she saw you having six of them," I reminded Val.

"Anyway, you'll understand one day when you have a baby of your own, Steph. It makes you focus on what's important in life," Val told me, a smidge patronisingly. Okay, a lot patronisingly. Especially for someone whose only source of income the last couple of months had been from my business that was apparently not what was important in life. It seemed that Val was embracing the Burg housewife life, especially the part of it that was judging others. I sighed. Val was happy enough to use me for emotional support, but it didn't seem to go the other way. It may have been that Dickie and I had been trying for a baby for three months already, and I could feel the signs of yet another period starting, but I was tempted to tell Val to shut her pie hole.

Hmmm, pie. That was what I needed. I announced to Val that I was doing a bakery run to buy something to celebrate her last day at Plum Lingerie (she looked a bit surprised at that, but I was so irritated that I decided she might as well finish up straight away). The benefit of living in a trendy neighbourhood was the amount of gourmet food places nearby. It might not be the Tasty Pastry, but I knew they'd have a nice treat. The weather was warming up so I decided to walk to the nearest bakery. I might as well work off some of the pie that I planned to it, and maybe that by the time I got back, I'd be less annoyed at Saint Valerie.

I reached the bakery in record, annoyance fuelled time, and was soon leaving again with a lemon meringue pie safely in a box. If Val was lucky, I wouldn't stop to eat it halfway home. I heard someone call my name as I started for home, and turned to see Ranger behind me. He'd either appeared out of no where, or come out of the office building above the bakery.

"Mr Manoso, how nice to see you again," I said. He was dressed in business black, and there was another man with him – taller than Ranger, darker skinned, wearing an amazing suit.

"Ms Plum, nice to see you again," he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a smile. "I'd like to introduce Bobby Brown, one of my business partners. Bobby, this is Stephanie Plum, she's one of our residential clients, and helped me with the takedown of Eddie DeChooch last year."

"Nice to meet you, Ms Plum," Bobby said, reaching his hand out. I shook hands with him.

"Please, call me Steph."

"Did you have a bakery emergency, Babe?" Ranger asked, looking down at the box.

"Ugh don't ask," I said, rolling my eyes. "I just needed to get out of the house for a bit."

"Do you need a lift home? We've just finished up a meeting and we're heading back to Haywood." He gestured to a black SUV nearby. Since I didn't have to squish into the back seat of the Porsche, I accepted his offer. All the better to get my pie home safely.

"Any issues with your alarm system?" Ranger asked.

"No it's been fine, just that little hiccup the first day," I told him. The corners of his mouth quirked up again like he was thinking of smiling, so I'm sure that Tank told him all the details. We arrived outside my house.

"Do you want to come in for some pie?" I asked them.

"I don't eat that sort of pie," Ranger said, meeting my eyes in the rear view mirror.

"What sort do you eat?" I asked innocently, then heard Bobby snort and start coughing. Ranger smiled his feral smile at me and I suddenly understood the comment, remembered his mercenary side, flushed bright red and slid out of the car quickly. "Thanks for the ride!" I yelled.

That was a lot of excitement over a lemon meringue pie.

* * *

I managed to do without Val for a couple of weeks, but I was working really long hours. It wasn't a big deal because Dickie was also putting in long hours to impress his partners at his new firm and to build up their client base, but I was thinking I needed to work something out. It was getting closer to summer and I was looking forward to some beach time. Plum Stars was about to launch, and I needed help. I sighed, and called my mother. "Mom, I need some help."

A few days later and I was feeling more under control. My mother was a born organiser.

"You could have a business helping people get organised," I told her.

"It's what you learn when you have small children, there's so much to remember and get organised," she told me. I remembered Val's comments to me.

"Right. So that's another thing I can't know until I have one of my own, just like Val said."

"What did Val say?" my mother asked, confused.

"That I wouldn't know what was important in life until I had a baby. And it's not like I haven't been trying! It's not as easy as Hollywood led me to believe! And everyone keeps asking when we're having a baby. If it was that easy, I'd be pregnant already!" I burst out. My mother reached across and squeezed my hand.

"Val doesn't have ambition like you do, Steph," my mother. My head snapped up and I looked at her in confusion. Was my mother complimenting me at the expense of Valerie? Or was lack of ambition a good thing in her books? "Some of us are happiest at home, providing for our husbands and looking after our children. And some of us, well..."

"Jump off the garage roof because they want to fly?" I asked.

"Exactly. Val would play with her dolls and look after them. You'd make capes for yours and pretend they were superheroes. You still looked after them as much as Val did, but you and your dolls went on adventures."

I laughed. I'd forgotten that my dolls were my superhero sidekicks before I had Mary Lou. We flew around the neighbourhood together, fought off masked super-villains and spied on the neighbours.

My mother reached out and patted my head. "You'll be a good mother, Stephanie. It will happen when the time is right."

My mother left and I sat down on the couch with a slice of pineapple upside down cake. I thought over what she'd said. It was true that I wasn't the most organised person. I tried to be, but I didn't come by it naturally. Would I really get those skills as a mother? I doubted it. I thought over everyone I knew with children. They did seem organised, far more than I was.

Suddenly I had a brain wave. I picked up my phone and swiped for a number.

"Hi Mary Lou! How's work going?"

"Do not get me started, that's how it's going."

"So I have an idea..."


	24. Chapter 24 - Happy birthday Dickie

This chapter, if it's not obvious, I'm filling in time during Book 9. There's a bit more Ranger action, and yes, Dickie is still the scum bag you're all thinking, he's just hiding it better.

* * *

I was meeting up with Mary Lou for lunch at a diner near her work. We'd been discussing for the last week the possibility of her coming to work for Plum Lingerie. Mary Lou did book keeping, and wasn't happy at her current job. She also did the books for Lenny's plumbing business, squeezed into the hours after the kids were in bed. She didn't want to put the boys into more than three days a week of daycare, and wanted to keep a part-time job until the boys were at school.

"I've had enough, Steph, I'm ready to quit. I know I've been saying that for months but I mean it this time. The sales team are pigs, and since I'm only there part-time, the office staff leave me out of everything. I'm so sick of payroll. Lenny's business has improved, so there's more work for me to do for him. Maybe that would be enough money for us."

"I'm serious, Lou, come and work for me. I've been so busy since Val quit. I need someone who can keep on eye on my finances and stock levels, and keep me on track. And possibly work extra hours when it's busy."

"I guess my mom and Lenny's mom would babysit some days if I needed to work extra. I'm not sure about us working together though," Mary Lou said.

"It would be fun!" I told her.

"That's what I'm worried about! We'd have too much fun and get nothing done," Mary Lou told me. We both paused as our food was delivered and took a bite of our burgers.

"Please, Lou? I need you. I need someone to kick my butt and keep me on track."

"I am particularly good at butt kicking. You wouldn't have gotten through school without me," Mary Lou said. I grinned at her. When Mary Lou was focused, she was a steam roller, and nothing got in her way. She thought for a minute while eating.

"What hours did Val do?" she asked me.

"Five hours a day so she could drop the girls off and pick them up, usually three or four days a week depending on how busy we were."

"I could do 15 to 20 hours a week over three days," Mary Lou said. "Why don't I come in, and then we'll work out what you need? That's less hours than I'm doing now, so that would leave me time to do Lenny's accounts during the day and then I could actually have some time to myself at night. Or do other activities," she said, winking at me. Mary Lou had always been focused on other activities. I think she had a higher sex drive than most men that I knew, except for Morelli, Dickie and possibly Ranger.

Mary Lou texted me later that night saying that she'd quit her job and given two weeks notice. She'd start with me after her notice period was up. I attempted to tidy up the house before dinner. My work was taking over the place – my office, the dining room, the garage and sometimes it crept out into the living room when I got sick of my office and decided to work out there. I solved the problem by putting everything into the dining room and closing the door.

Val also sent me a text, saying that her settlement from Steve had finally come through and she was repaying the money that I'd spent on her legal fees. I was relieved to have the money back. Most of my profits from Plum Lingerie were still going into building the business up. I didn't want to have to ask Dickie for money, and having this money returned to my account would give me a buffer in case of emergency.

* * *

It was Dickie's birthday the next day and I was trying to make the day nice for him. It was a Wednesday so we'd both be at work, but I was hoping we could go out for dinner together. It would be nice to spend some time together. We were both workaholics at the moment, but I wanted to show Dickie how much I appreciated him. I didn't even want to think about where I'd have ended up without him this last year. Plum Lingerie wouldn't have been possible, and the job market was still so bad, I might have ended up at the button factory. Or living with my parents. Argh.

I decided to make a reservation for our favourite nearby Italian restaurant. We hadn't had a date night for a while. I told Dickie of my plans when he got home that night. He was looking stressed, and I was hoping that a night out together would relax him.

We decided to meet at the restaurant the next night, and I was sitting at the bar waiting for him and drinking a cocktail when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It felt like someone was watching me, so I turned around. Ranger was at the entrance to the restaurant, talking to the hostess. He nodded towards a table in the back, and smiled charmingly at the hostess. He walked up to the bar and sat down next to me.

"Hi," I said, feeling uncertain. I was waiting for Dickie, and he was the one running late, but it felt wrong to be talking to Ranger. I wasn't sure why Dickie didn't like Ranger, but I knew he wouldn't be happy if he showed up and I was talking to him.

"Hey babe. All alone?"

"I'm waiting for Dickie. It's his birthday. What are you doing here? Do you have a date?" I asked curiously. He was dressed up more than his usual black work cargoes, but a step below the business black I'd seen him sporting last time I bumped into him.

"Business meeting."

"How is business going?"

"Pretty well. Mostly word of mouth referrals, but it's growing," Ranger said.

"Oh that reminds you! Your website is a bit… mysterious."

"It's meant to be."

"I think it's too mysterious though. You need some more details on there. If you pull it up on your phone I could explain more," I told him. He glanced down at his watch.

"I don't have much time before my meeting. Would you have time to meet next week? I'll buy you lunch in exchange for your advice," he offered.

"I'm not sure it's worth that much, but sure."

"Call me," he said, standing up and leaving. He headed over to the table in the corner. Just in time, because half a minute later Dickie entered the restaurant.

"Happy birthday!"

"Thanks Steph. Sorry I'm late. There was something at the office that I needed to handle," he told me.

"That's okay, you get birthday immunity today. And I kept myself occupied with a cocktail," I said.

"Birthday immunity, hey? What could I get with that?" he asked, winking at me.

"Well hello, hello," a female voice purred nearby. I made a face. It was Joyce Barnhardt, my mortal enemy. Last I heard she was blackmailing my cousin Vinnie into a job so that she could try to crack on to Ranger. I wondered how that was working out for her.

"Argh," I said. Joyce had been a pain in my ass all through school. She tripped me over when no one was looking, threw water on me and told people that I'd wet my pants, and said that I had rat hair. My only triumph over her had been that I got to sleep with Joseph Morelli and she hadn't (it seemed Joe had standards), and that I'd grown to a B-cup while Joyce stayed an A-cup. However Joyce had taken matters into her own hands and now sported a perky C-cup which was threatening to spill out of her top.

"Hello Stephanie, nice to see you again Dickie," Joyce purred. "It's been too long."

"Joyce Anderson, how are you?" Dickie asked.

"I heard you're working for Vinnie," I said.

"Yes, I am. I'm a bounty hunter. Working for Vinnie has its advantages," Joyce said, sounding quite happy. I shuddered to think what those advantages could be.

"Well, nice seeing you again, but we're busy celebrating. Bye Joyce," I said, waving her off.

"I have a date that I need to make sure isn't getting lonely," she said, and stalked off.

Dickie looked over at me and opened his mouth to talk, but I cut him and got in first.

"How do you know Joyce?" I hissed at Dickie.

"She's a client, I handled her last divorce. I didn't realise that you knew each other."

"You didn't realise? That's Joyce Barnhardt! The one who made my life miserable at school! I've told you all about her."

"She was Mrs Anderson when I met her. I didn't make the connection."

The hostess came up and asked if we were ready to move to our table. I nodded, so she guided us to our table. It wasn't at the back of the room, but the restaurant was small, so I could see the table that Ranger asked to be seated at. And I could see that Joyce was sitting next to him. Ranger had said he there for a business meeting, but Joyce had mentioned a date, so which was it?

I sat down, with my back to them. I didn't need to see Joyce working her wiles on Ranger. If he fell for it, I might vomit. Dickie and I ordered our usual, a garlic bread to start with, sausage alfredo for me, and veal saltimbocca for Dickie. His came served with vegetables, mine didn't need any. We also ordered mine, and after another glass, I needed to use the bathroom. This took me close to where Ranger and Joyce were seated. I could see drinks in front of them, but no food.

"I don't do that Professor Higgings stuff," I overheard Ranger saying as I walked past.

"Jeanne Ellen Burrows says differently," Joyce said. She had her seduction voice on. She'd been working on since we were in middle school. _Don't fall for it, Ranger!_ I wanted to warn him. _She's evil!_

When I walked back out, Joyce was rubbing her foot against his leg under the table, and he was looking amused. They walked out together soon after. Not even tiramisu could get my appetite back. And then once we got home, I had to put up with Dickie's sulking because I wouldn't do butt stuff. Argh. New cufflinks is a birthday present, butt stuff is not a birthday present.

* * *

My phone rang. Mary Lou. I answered it, expecting an update on her work situation.

"The word at the grocery store is that Joyce tried to crack on to Ranger," Mary Lou said.

"And?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"And Ranger told her no and left her on the side of the road! Sally Morrison saw her and said her mouth was gaping like a fish. She thinks that Joyce deliberately left her car at home so Ranger would have to drive her home and he refused and left her there."

I breathed a sigh of relief. That also reminded me that I was meant to call Ranger and arrange a time to see him this week. I brought his number up and dialed.

"Yo."

"Hi Ranger, it's Stephanie Plum. We were talking about your website and you asked me to call?"

"Hey Steph. Thanks for calling. Tank and I were just discussing the website, actually. Are you free for lunch today?"

I thought about it. Let's be honest, working for myself meant that my schedule was wide open. I was getting hungry, there was no food in the house, and my orders for the day were packed. I told Ranger I'd be over soon, packed up and left. The weather was good so I decided to ride my motorbike over and park it outside Rangeman. I recognised Hal on the front desk and greeted him as I got my name tag. He told me that he'd buzz me up to Level Five and let Ranger know that I was on my way.

The elevator automatically took me up to five. I stepped out and could see Ranger nearby, watching a monitor intently over a black-clad Rangeman employee's shoulder.

"Vince, send out Cal and Zero to check it out," he said.

"Yes, boss," Vince said, and picked up the phone. Ranger looked around and saw me.

"Hey babe. Sorry, I've got to handle this. Manny, can you take Steph to the break room for a coffee?"

The Rangeman sitting nearly in a cubicle with paperwork stacked up next to him stood up and extended his hand to me.

"Hi Steph, I'm Manny. Come with me."

I followed him into the break room. "Thank you for saving me from the report paperwork. I'm happy to have a break from it. How do you take your coffee?"

"With lots of sugar."

"Just don't tell the bossman where the sugar stash is. He's a health nut. I think he only eats paleo," Manny said as he got a small container out from a cupboard. I could smell food coming from a nearby room.

"What's the delicious smell?" I asked.

"That's the slow cookers going for the dinner shift. Lunch crew gets salads and sandwiches, dinner crew gets a hot meal. One of the many perks of working here. Night shift still sucks but dinner makes it better."

Ranger walked into the break room.

"Thanks Manny. Sorry about that babe, all done now."

"Nice meeting you Steph," Manny said as he left.

Ranger and I walked into his office and pulled the Rangeman website up on to his screen.

"Who did your website?" I asked him.

"Hector built the website, but Bobby and Tank wrote the content," Ranger said.

I clicked around and pointed out a few things to give him my ideas. "The main issue is that your website doesn't show what sort of a security company you are – it doesn't mention video monitoring at all, or what areas you service."

"We don't want to give too many details away on how we do things."

"There's a difference between giving away details and explaining what you do. You should think about what sort of customers you want to attract and put information for them on the website," I said.

We chatted for a while longer about website until my stomach decided it had enough of waiting for food and let out a loud grumble. Ranger looked up from the computer screen over at me.

"Was that your stomach?"

"Yes," I said defensively.

"Babe. We'd better feed that before it rises up and attacks us."

"It's not going to be salad, is it?" I asked suspiciously.

"Do you like pizza? I know a great pizza place called Shorty's."

"I thought you only ate paleo," I said to him.

"The body is a temple, but sometimes it takes a day off," he said.

* * *

Mary Lou started off her first day right by bringing coffee and doughnuts for both of us. Mary Lou knew her way around my house well, but had only been over once since it exploded into the Plum Lingerie warehouse.

I gave Mary Lou a key in case she needed it, and showed her the alarm system in the garage.

"This is the alarm system. If you set it off, I'll get a call on my phone, but if I don't answer, they send someone out."

"Do you have to pay a callout fee?" Mary Lou asked.

"I think up to five callouts are included as part of the monthly monitoring fee," I said, trying to remember. I did read over the paperwork before I signed it, I swear.

"I've heard you have to be really good looking to be hired by RangeMan," Mary Lou said.

"I don't think that's an official policy, but most of them do seem to be ex-military and in quite good shape."

Mary Lou looked around the garage and dining room. "This is really taking over, Steph. Have you thought about getting a space that isn't your garage?"

"Yes but I haven't looked into it. I don't know how much it would cost either," I said.

"I'll add it to my list. We might be able to find somewhere cheap."

"That would make Dickie a lot happier. He hates the boxes in the garage, and all the stuff over the dining room."

I needed to pick up a parcel of my final samples from the post office, so I left to go and do that at the same time that Mary Lou went to pick-up lunch. There was a long line at the post office, and I realised that I'd left my phone at home, so I couldn't even check my Facebook to fill in the time. Finally I got my package, and headed home, looking forward to the meatball sub that Mary Lou was going to pick up for me.

When I pulled into the driveway, I sighed. Mary Lou's car was parked in the driveway, and a Rangeman vehicle was parked next to it, with Hal and Vince standing in the driveway talking to Mary Lou. She waved to me.

"I set off the alarm accidentally. I couldn't remember the code," Mary Lou said, but from the way she was eyeing off Hal and Vince, I wasn't really sure on that. She licked her lips as she looked Vince up and down. I sensed that Lenny was going to get a workout tonight.


	25. Chapter 25 - The newest Morelli

Sorry for the delay – I've had job applications to do which sucked up my writing time, then something happened where I didn't save the file properly and lost half a chapter and had to re-write. So this chapter is shorter than it otherwise would have been but hopefully delivers what you've been waiting on. This is the end of Book 9 (or what I'm going to cover from it) so that takes us on to Book 10 – which will feature more Ranger for the Ranger fans! (Which, let's face it, aren't we all?)

* * *

The delivery day of Plum Stars was a repeat of my last delivery dates – with the build up in product offerings, the garage was full once again. I really needed to look into getting a warehouse space. Our cars were back in the driveway until we'd moved enough boxes out into the dining room. Mary Lou was checking the order against the stock was arrived. She had a clipboard, a pen, and looked as happy as I could remember seeing her in recent years.

"I am going to organise this stock so well," she told me.

"You do you," I told her, and went into my office to work on my marketing campaign. Our sales were going reasonably well, but if I wanted a warehouse space along with an assistant, we needed to step it up a bit. Mary Lou also had the idea that we could open a retail shopfront if we found the right warehouse space. We were busy searching to see if something came up for the right price.

At the same time at the Plum Stars delivery, we were all waiting on another delivery. Val was nine months pregnant and giant. Angie Morelli and our mother were engaged in some sort of housewife battle where they were both providing Val and Joe with casseroles and cheese rich Italian food. Every time I visited there was a new cake on the counter. Val had been walking the girls to and from school in an attempt to get some exercise but now it was summer holidays. We'd talked about going to Point Pleasant for a week, but Morelli wanted to save his leave for when the baby arrived, and Val didn't want to leave the air conditioning.

Val and I sat down at the kitchen table and she cut us both a slice of cake. It was a Saturday, but Joe was on shift. The girls were watching TV in the lounge room. Morelli's house was looking more like a home. The lace curtains on the kitchen were there when Val moved in, but she'd added other small touches like family photos on the walls, a vase of flowers on the table, and a cookie jar on the counter. Bob now had a dog bed to sleep on instead of the couch.

Morelli was also working on converting the basement into more living space. He and Val had talked about using part of her settlement money to renovate the house, but had decided to put most of it into college funds for the girls. I thought that was a good idea since they were unlikely to see any money from Steve in the future. Morelli was a chauvinist at heart but that was working for Val, since he was determined to use only his money to support his family, which left Val with a big safety net, financially speaking. He'd also upgraded his truck to a family friendly SUV and bought Val a van.

I was eating my cake and looking forward to a second piece, since I could still fit into my pants with ease that week, when Val dropped her fork and looked perplexed.

"These Braxton-Hicks are getting really bad," she said.

"Braxton-Hicks?"

"Like practice contractions. They've been building up all morning and now they're getting worse," Val told me. I looked over at her.

"Contractions?"

"They're not real. They'll stop anytime now. I'll get you some more cake," she said, getting up and cutting more cake. That's Val – she's probably going into labour, but she has a guest, and Burg housewife rules state that you need to look after your guest first, so more cake for Stephanie it is. She brought me over my second piece of cake and stopped and swayed.

"Should we call Joe?" I asked her.

"No, he just started his shift. And anyway, they're not real contractions, they'll stop at any point soon," Val said, swaying in one spot. She'd done this twice before, so she was the expert not me, but I was doubtful.

"Anyway I still have three weeks until my due date and I went over with Angie and Mary Alice," Val argued, although I hadn't said anything. "I doubt that I'd go early with this baby and – arrrrgh," she stopped, holding her stomach.

"Are you okay?"

"Arrgh. Maybe we'd better call Joe."

I got out my phone and called Joe. He answered straight away, so murder and crime must have been slow that day in Trenton.

"Hey Steph, what's up?"

"Hey Joe, I'm visiting Val, and she thinks she might be having contractions."

"No wait, it's over, I'm fine," Val called out.

"Now she says she's fine," I told Joe.

"So is she fine or isn't she fine?" he asked.

"I have no idea, she keeps changing her mind."

"I'm fine, it was a false alarm, I have three weeks and to go – argh," she said, moaning and swaying.

"Can you hear that?" I asked Joe.

"I'll come home," he said, and hung up.

"Joe's on his way," I told Val, but she was looking unfocused. Crap. Don't have this baby in front of me, Val, I have no idea what to do. I panicked and called my mother.

"I think Val's in labour, and Joe's on his way home but I have no idea what to do," I blurted out.

"How exciting!" she shouted, and then hung up. What was with everybody's phone manners today? Was I the only one who remembered to say hello and goodbye anymore? Was the Ranger School of Phone Manners catching on? My questions were answered when my mother burst through the door one minute later. She only lived a few streets away but it looked like she'd gotten my dad to drive her over, as I saw his cab disappearing down the street. I guess this was a moment that he wanted to be safely away from. Val was walking in circles around the kitchen. I think her Burg housewife instincts were telling her that the baby wasn't going to be born until the kitchen was properly clean.

"Valerie, you should sit down!" our mother insisted.

"No, no, I'm fine, it's just a false alarm," Val said, starting to moan again. Mom looked over at me and I shrugged.

"She's been like this for about 15 minutes," I said, "It came on pretty suddenly. She was fine and we were chatting, and then this started happening every few minutes."

"That's close together then, she should get to the hospital. Have you called Joe?"

"He's on his way," I told her.

"Good. Valerie, where's your hospital bag? I'll go get it."

"I haven't packed it!" Val wailed. "I still had three weeks! It wasn't supposed to happen yet!"

"Well that's a Morelli for you, they never do what other people want them to. I'll go upstairs and pack you a bag," Mom said. Thank goodness she was here, I'd never have thought of that, and I'd bet that Joe wouldn't have either. Mary Alice and Angie finally looked up from the television and worked out that something was going on.

"Is mommy having the baby?" Angie asked.

"I think so," I told her. "Do you want some cake?" Mary Alice neighed.

"Horses don't eat cake, they eat grass," she told me.

"Wheat is a type of grass and flour is made from wheat," I said. "Horses love wheat."

By the time Joe arrived home five minutes later, Val was pacing again and Mom appeared with an overnight bag.

"I've packed you three changes of clothes for you, three outfits for the baby including the coming home outfit you bought, a spare set of clothes for Joseph, toiletries and other essentials," she said, handing the bag over to Joe.

"I've got a kojak light, I can drive fast," he said, pointing to his SUV.

"You might need to," Mom said, helping Val to the front door. I opened it for them. Val stopped on the way to moan through a contraction. Joe opened the car door for her.

"Mom, don't leave," Val said, clutching her arm.

"Valerie, you'll be fine. Joseph is here," our mother said.

"Please, Mom? I need you," Val told her. Mom looked over at Joe and he nodded.

"Stephanie, you're in charge of the girls!" Mom called over her shoulder as she jumped into the car. Joe stuck the light on top of the SUV and they pulled out of the driveway and headed for the hospital.

I turned around to see Angie and Mary Alice looking at me. Angie looked solemn and Mary Alice had managed to get covered in cake.

"What are we going to do now, Aunt Steph?" Angie asked me. Great. Now they weren't interested in watching TV. I made two phone calls – one to Dickie to let him know that I had no idea when I'd be home, and one to Mary Lou for reinforcements. She invited us over for lunch.

It was too hot to walk so I loaded the girls into my Mercedes and drove the few streets over to Mary Lou's house. Lenny was out in the backyard cooking on the grill when we got there and Mary Lou was preparing everything for hamburgers. Angie and Mary Alice went to play with Kenny and Mikey while I joined Mary Lou in the kitchen.

"That's so excited that Val is in labour! Do you think it will go quickly?" Mary Lou asked.

"I have no idea. It seemed to be happening quickly. Mom and Joe were pretty worried," I told her.

"Well they must have made it to the hospital or we'd have heard something on the grapevine by now. So let's have lunch and see how long you have to wait."

Lunch was served inside in the air conditioned house, and Mary Lou put Mikey down for a nap afterwards while Angie read a book and Mary Alice and Kenny built a complicated blanket fort using most of the bedding from Mary Lou's linen cupboard. Lenny put his feet up on the coffee table and settled in to watch sport for the afternoon. Usually I would have joined him but I was a bit anxious waiting to hear from Val.

"Relax," Mary Lou told me. "It could be hours. My boys took hours." Just as she finished saying that my phone rang. It was Val.

"The baby's here! She's so beautiful. Can you bring the girls in? I want them to be the first to meet her," Val said.

Mary Lou and I rounded up the girls and I drove them over to the hospital. My mother was waiting outside the room for us. I took the girls in and waited at the door. They were excited and rushed over to meet the new baby.

"She's so tiny. Look at her little hands!" Angie said.

"Her tiny feet!" Mary Alice said.

"Steph, come meet your new niece. We're calling her Bella after Joe's grandmother," Val said, calling me in. She handed me Bella and I looked down at her. She was so tiny and I felt like I was holding her awkwardly. How were you supposed to hold a baby, anyway? And how did Joe look like he was going to be a natural at it?

"How are you feeling?" I asked Val.

Joe smiled. "She did great, I've never seen anything more amazing," he said, taking Val's hand. She smiled at him. They looked happier together than I'd ever seen them. Maybe having a baby was good for your relationship after all.

After the girls had a cuddle with Baby Bella, I drove them and Mom home. She was going to keep them overnight at her house while Val was in hospital.

I was exhausted. I rang Dickie when I was on my way home and he said that he'd thought I was going to be home late, so he'd gone to visit his parents. I was happy to miss out on that visit, so I picked up Chinese food on my way home, then got changed into my comfortable pyjamas and put Ghostbusters into the DVD player. I didn't even make it halfway through before I was asleep on the couch.


	26. Chapter 26 - The Red Devil

Mary Lou and I had spent the last week moving into our new work space. Plum Lingerie was finally making enough money to justify a warehouse space. It also fulfilled Mary Lou's requirements of an office area, and a small area at the front that we could use as a retail space if we decided to.

The building was also RangeMan monitored, although it came that way. It was actually Ranger who rang me to give me a tip off there was a perfect space coming up for rent in the area. I rushed over to see it, and Hector was there installing the monitoring system and let me have a peek inside before the renting agent got there. It was halfway between my house and Mary Lou's, just officially outside of The Burg. My mother was scandalised that we were considering opening up an underwear shop where her friends might see, and Grandma Mazur was thrilled that she'd be able to take her non-computer-literate friends in to see the Plum Vintage range.

Mary Lou and I had fallen into a routine, and it was my turn to go buy snacks. There was a convenience store nearby that we'd been visiting, and I was on my way to making friends with the owner. It probably helped that I can't resist an unhealthy snack and had cleaned out his stock of Tastycakes over the past few days. Moving all those boxes made me hungry.

When I approached convenience store entrance, I could see a man dressed in a mechanic's jump suit and wearing a devil mask run from the store. He picked up a bottle that was next to the motorbike parked on the footpath nearby, lit a rag stuffed into the top, and run back to the store entrance to throw it into the store. He turned back, ran into me and we both bounced off each other and fell on to the ground. Victor, the store manager, came running out with the bottle in hand and threw it at the man in the devil's mask. It hit him hard in the head, and he also knocked his head to the ground. I saw him pull up his mask for a second, check the back of his head where he'd been hit, probably for blood, then pull his mask back on, jump on his motorbike and take off. I was still on the ground. Victor pulled me up and hauled me inside the store just before the bottle exploded.

"That's the fourth attempted robbery this month," Victor said. "I just couldn't take it any more."

I was sitting down in front of the store with Victor, each of us with a twinkie in each hand, when the cops started arriving.

Robin Russell was one of the first cops on the scene. We'd gone to school together, but she was a year behind me, so we didn't know each other well. I was happy to see a familiar face though. She started talking and writing down my statement on what had happened. When she heard that I'd gotten a glimpse of the Red Devil's face she got excited, and that's when I started to get worried.

It turned out that no one had seen the Red Devil's face before. Possibly because no one had been so stupid so as to trip him over on his way from a robbery before. Victor hadn't been at the right angle to see his face, and had only seen the back of his head.

An unmarked cop car drove up to the scene, and Morelli got out.

"Steph, are you okay? I heard your name over the radio," he said.

"Nothing worse than a bruise where I fell over," I told him.

"We'll let you know if we need anything further," Robin said, as she walked over to Victor.

"What's that about?" Morelli asked.

"I saw the Red Devil's face. I didn't recognise him but I'm sure I could pick him up out of a line up," I said. It had been a quick but clear view that I had of his face.

A black porsche drove past the scene and slowed. It was an expensive car and stood out amongst the run down cars from the Trenton police force. There weren't many flashy cars like that in the Burg, and they belonged to drug dealers, and to Ranger. Given the number of police around, it was safe to assume that it was Ranger. He wound down his window, exchanged a head nod with Morelli, and then drove off again without getting out of his car.

"That was weird," I told Morelli.

"His team would have heard over the police scanner what had happened. He might have driven past to see what was going on."

"He'd usually get out and say hello though."

"I'm half happy that he seems to be watching over you, and half wondering what the hell is going on. I like Ranger but he's a mercenary, his address is a vacant block and I'm pretty sure he hates your husband," Morelli said.

"His address is a vacant block?" I asked.

"That's what you're worrying over out of that list?"

"Well, I already knew that he was a mercenary, and my Grandpa Mazur hated Dickie, but I'm not sure how anyone would live at a vacant block."

"He doesn't live there, Steph, but the address on his license in a vacant block. Big Dog checked it out."

"What's the address?" I asked curiously.

"It was on Haywood."

"Uh, Morelli, you realise that Ranger's new purpose built office building is on Haywood, right?"

"What?"

"The RangeMan building is on Haywood. It looked new to me, so I'm guessing a few years ago it was a vacant block, probably while Ranger was getting planning permission for the development."

"Big Dog is never going to make detective," Morelli said.

"Probably for the best. I'm pretty sure I can remember Big Dog eating glue in grade school."

"Most of the Trenton police force ate glue," Morelli said. "Speaking of eating, are you going to your parents' house for dinner tonight?"

"I'll be there. Dickie too," I told him.

"I'm on shift and can't make it, but Val and the girls will be there. I've got to go, Steph, stay safe," he said and gave me a quick kiss on the head as he headed towards his car. I watched him go and wondered if it was wrong to admire how his backside looked in his jeans now that he was my brother-in-law.

I got into my car and drove back to the warehouse. Mary Lou had already heard through the Burg grapevine what had happened and was waiting for me. I also realised that I'd left without any snacks.

I drove home to shower and change before dinner, and to my surprise Dickie was already home.

"Jesus, Steph, are you okay? Joe called me to let me know what happened. What were you thinking?" he said.

"It was just wrong place, wrong time. He literally ran into me and I was knocked over," I told Dickie.

"Joe said that you saw the Red Devil's face."

"Just for a moment, but yeah. He took his mask off when the bottle hit the back of his head. That wasn't me, by the way, it was the store manager," I said hastily. It did sound like something that I would do.

My mother and grandmother were standing at the door when we pulled up outside. We could hear the noise from the house as soon as we opened the door – Mary Alice neighing, baby Bella crying and Valerie singing loudly over the top of it all. Val insisted that Bella loved singing and it was the only way to get her to stop crying. I walked into the house and headed in to find my nieces, and Dickie retreated into the living room to watch TV in the relative quiet with my dad. Mary Alice was doing laps around the dining table, Angie was getting plates ready in the kitchen, and Bella was looking like she'd just had enough of her family. I said hello to Val and she passed over Bella to me and headed for the bathroom. Bella had inherited both of her parents Italian genetics, and was absolutely gorgeous.

"Hi Bella, it's Aunt Steph," I told her. She examined me for a second, then decided to keep crying. "Our family is a bit nutty, so I totally see your point. But they have their good sides too. And since you're named after her, your Great-Grandma Bella probably won't curse you at any point," I said. Valerie returned and took Bella off me.

"She's a bit unsettled, it's called a Wonder Week," Val said. There didn't seem to be anything wonderful about it. Perhaps they were trying to put a positive spin on it when they named them?

We'd just sat down for dinner when my phone rang. It was Morelli.

"Steph, they picked up someone in an alley way with a backpack that matches the description of the one that the Red Devil carries. Can you come down and see if you can pick him up out of a line up?" Morelli asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Do you need me at the station now?"

"Yes, sorry, I know it's dinner time."

Dickie and I were kind of glad to have an excuse to leave the noisy Plum household, although I was sad to be missing out on food. The line up was a bust though, none of the people lined up were the Red Devil. Morelli said that the guy they had in the line up had said he'd found the backpack in an alleyway and it wasn't his.

I managed to talk Dickie into stopping at McDonalds on the way home, my stomach was growling so loud it sounded like there was a wild animal on the loose. We stopped in the carpark to eat, and I was so happy to have food. My fries were amazing. Dickie was telling me a work story about his law firm partner who was in South America when I caught sight of someone walking across the carpark. He was loaded down with food bags and I was admiring his ability to carry so much food at once when I realised that he looked familiar.

"Dickie! That's the Red Devil!" I yelled in excitement, and put my fries down and opened my door.

"Steph! What are you doing? Stay in the car!" Dickie said.

"But he'll drive away! We need to stop him," I said. Dickie picked up his phone and called Joe, reporting that I'd seen the Red Devil in the McDonalds carpark and telling him the license plate of the car that he was in. The car started up and started driving away.

"We're going to lose him!" I told Dickie. If I was the one in the driver's seat, we'd be gone already.

"Yes we are. You need to leave this up to the police. If I buy you dessert, will that take your mind off this?"

"How much dessert are we talking? Doughnuts?"

"I'll stop for Ben and Jerry's on the way home," Dickie said.

"Deal!" I told him.


	27. Chapter 27 - Scarier than Hector

Dickie and I were on our way home via a convenience store where I'd stocked up on ice cream when I heard sirens behind us, and an ambulance raced past us. It was followed by two police cars.

"That doesn't look good," Dickie said.

A minute later, we were stopped. There was the ambulance, a stack of police cars, and a police car with bullet hole through the windscreen. I could see Morelli's unmarked car there, and I got out and started running towards it, with Dickie calling for me to come back. I found Joe straight away. His mouth was set in a grim expression.

"It's Eddie," he said. "He's okay but he was shot."

Eddie was on a stretcher being wheeled towards the ambulance. I rushed over.

"Hey Steph," he greeted me. He sounded like he'd already been given pain killers.

"Eddie! Are you okay?" I asked him anxiously. Eddie was one of my closest friends in elementary school, and he was married to my cousin Shirley.

"I got shot. Shirley hates it when I get shot. Steph, I need you to do something for me," he said.

"What do you need?" I asked him.

"I need you to babysit on Saturday night, Shirley's going to be pissed and I need to make it up to her," Eddie said.

"Nice try," I said, relieved. If Eddie was trying to blackmail me into babysitting his devil children, then he was fine. Last time we babysat, Dickie fell asleep and they cut out a chunk of his hair the day before he was due in court.

Dickie and Morelli caught up with me as Eddie was loaded into the ambulance.

"Eddie was the patrol car sent after the Red Devil, and they shot at him. Another car chased them but they disappeared into Slayers territory on Comstock Street," Morelli told us.

"Who are the Slayers?"

"The Comstock Street Slayers, they're a gang looking to prove themselves and take over territory."

"They are not a group to be messed with," Dickie said.

Dickie looked worried, more than I expected, but I assumed he knew far more about the Slayers than I did from his days at the DA's office. Morelli promised to keep us updated and we drove home in silence.

* * *

The next morning we woke up at the same time. Usually Dickie got up early to work while I slept in. We decided to go out for breakfast together to mark the occasion. I was in the mood for pancakes.

"When are you going to move the last of the boxes?" Dickie asked me.

"They're all empty, I just need to break them down and put them in the bin."

"Seriously? You're using our garage to store empty boxes instead of your Mercedes?" he asked me.

"The Mercedes is fine, it likes parking in the drive," I told him as we walked outside, then stopped as I saw the Mercedes and that it was indeed not fine.

It was covered with graffiti, along with the garage door. There was a wide variety, with CSS, pawprints, die narc, and a large penis on the bonnet of the car to top it off. The garage door matched.

"This isn't good," Dickie said. I had to agree. This was pretty serious. And from the look on Dickie's face, I wasn't getting pancakes. Dickie put a call through to Morelli and I started looking in the cupboards for something to have for breakfast.

There was a knock on the door and Dickie jumped up to answer it. He looked through the peephole at the front.

"It's Joe Morelli," he called out to me, answering the door. Morelli came in, and sat down on the couch, declining my offer of a beer. I got one out for me. I had a feeling I'd be needing a drink after I talked with Morelli. He got right down to explaining why he was there.

"We've had news from an informant with the Slayers. It's not great. The Slayers are claiming credit for the police shooting," Morelli began. "They know that you're the witness that saw the Red Devil's face. Adding to that, Dickie put some of their friends in jail while he worked at the District Attorney's office, and that's given them two reasons to go after you," Morelli said. I felt faint. I sat down and put my head between my knees. Dickie rubbed my back.

"You need to stay somewhere safer," Morelli said.

"Where? I have a monitored alarm, a good lock on the door, and a huge fence. Where is going to be more secure than here?"

"You could stay at my house."

"And put my sister and nieces in danger? Do you think these guys are really going to be scared of a house belonging to a cop? Won't they see that as more of a challenge?"

"You're right, they would," he said reluctantly. "I can probably get a few more patrols around your neighbourhood, someone to keep an eye out but we're low on budget right now so don't expect much."

"What about my parents?" Dickie asked.

"Wouldn't that put your parents in danger?" I asked.

"A hotel?"

"A hotel isn't a good idea. It's really hard to secure a hotel," Morelli said.

I could see Dickie weighing up all the options. And because I knew him so well, I knew that one of those options was him in future senator mode, handling the press. _T_ _his is a tragic outcome_ , he would say, _my wife Stephanie was doing her civic duty in being a witness to a crime. On her behalf I will not rest until I have wiped out crime in this city!_ Okay so he took a turn more towards Commissioner Gordon from Gotham City there, but I was sure that it would go along those lines. Then he would look sombre and perhaps have a hint of a very manly tear about him, and lay a rose on my gravestone. It would be a top of the line gravestone, of course, which would perhaps bring Grandma Mazur some comfort. She'd be disappointed at my lack of open casket.

"Hey what about Dickie?" I asked. "He was there with me when we saw the Red Devil, and he worked for the DA. Why isn't he on their list?"

"As far as we know, there's four on their list – a cop, two gang members, and you. Dickie hasn't been mentioned except in reference to you. Dickie can't identify the Red Devil, and you can."

Dickie called our insurance company about the paint damage to the Mercedes. Morelli assured us the police would work with the insurance company but wanted to document the damage before it was fixed. I sighed. I was hoping to get the damage fixed before our neighbours saw, and preferably before word got back to the Burg and freaked my mother out. This time, at least, her panic would be justified. Although it still wasn't my fault!

* * *

Dickie had gone into the office (even weekend gang related activity couldn't keep him away) and I was trying to find something in the garage that would remove paint when I heard noise outside. I froze. Was it the Slayers? I could hear two male voices and realised that one of them was familiar. I relaxed and pressed the button to open the garage door.

Ranger was outside and admiring the graffiti out the front. Another Rangeman was standing next to him. Ranger's porsche was parked in the street in front of the townhouse. I wondered if Tank was nearby. Or Hal. Mary Lou would be disappointed to miss them.

"Hi Ranger," I said, stepping outside. The second Rangeman turned to look at me. He was slightly taller than Ranger, with lighter hair and green eyes but there was something familiar about his smile.

"I heard you had some graffiti troubles," Ranger said, examining the garage door.

"Yeah apparently someone was busy overnight while I was sleeping."

"Ms Plum is one of our clients and having some gang troubles," Ranger told the other Rangeman.

"I'm Lester," the unknown Rangeman said. "My cousin is being rude and not introducing me." He put his hand out and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Lester," I said. I wondered where Lester had been hiding when I was in the Rangeman building. He was like a non-scary version of Ranger. Maybe the customer service version.

Ranger took his keys out of his pocket and looked down at them. There was a keyring with a electronic fob and the Porsche key. "They know what your car looks like, and they'll be targeting it. Take my car instead." He handed me the keyring.

"I can't take your car," I told him, trying to hand it back.

"Carlos, man, you know what that will mean," Lester blurted out, looking surprised. Ranger ignored him, and took my hand, closing it around the key.

"It's just a car, Steph. It will be a distraction. Take it. Go for a drive."

"How is this supposed to blend in more than a Mercedes? It's a Porsche!"

"It's black. And the Mercedes is spray painted with rude words."

"I'm sure that the insurance company will give me a rental to use, so I don't need your car," I told him.

"I've got to go away for a week or so anyway, so I'm not going to need it."

That made sense, and I had always wanted to drive Ranger's car.

"What if it gets spray painted?" I asked him.

"It won't."

Lester was looking at the front of the house. "I think a camera out the front, and another out the back would provide good coverage," he said.

"Call Hector and make it happen," Ranger ordered.

"What are you doing? My plan doesn't cover video monitoring," I told him.

"You're getting an upgrade, babe."

"If the Slayers decide to come by, having video could give us an extra few minutes to get a team here, plus we'll know what they look like. We can take it down after this is over if you like," Lester said. Yep, Lester was definitely from customer service.

I invited them inside, and closed the garage door behind us. We went into the kitchen where Lester inspected the back door and small courtyard area while I made coffee. I found a packet of choc chip cookies in the cupboard to share with Lester and an apple for Ranger. The cookies were better than nothing, but they didn't compare to Ella's in any way.

Lester was better at keeping a conversation going than Ranger, so we chatted easily while we waited for Hector to arrive. Ranger was quieter than normal, which I wasn't sure was possible but he seemed intent to keep to his man of few words persona.

The doorbell rang and Ranger shadowed me as I went to answer.

"Hola Hector," I said, throwing the door open for him.

"Hola Estefania," he said, then looked to Ranger. Ranger gave him instructions and Hector nodded and headed inside to talk to Lester.

Ranger started installing the camera out the front of the house that would monitor the front door and garage. Since I have no experience with electrical equipment, I decided to do some aimless tidying of the house. My mother would be appalled if I was killed in a gang related attack and left dusty shelves in the lounge room.

The camera install didn't take too long, and Hector declined my offer of a hot chocolate but took two cookies. Hector and Lester were packing up the last of the equipment into the SUV that Hector had driven over.

I looked out at the Porsche parked in front of the house and thought about the keys in my pocket.

"What does it mean?" I asked Ranger.

"What does what mean?"

"Lester said you know what it will mean if I drive your car. But I don't know what it will mean," I told him.

"If the slayers see you in the car they'll lay low for a bit. They know if they come after you someone scary will come after them," Ranger told me.

"Hector?" I guessed, thinking of the teardrop tattoo under his eye. I'd be scared if an angry Hector was coming after me. Or even a calm Hector. Possibly a calm Hector would be even worse.

"No, even scarier than Hector."

"Geez, scarier than Hector? Who have you got hidden away?" I asked him, half teasing.

"Me. But I won't be here, so be careful. Let Tank know if you need anything."

He looked back at me like he was going to say more, but changed his mind and walked towards the car.

"Ranger?" I called after him. He turned back to me. I didn't know where he was going and it felt rude to ask (also, let's face it, he's a mercenary and might not have been able to tell me anything anyway) but I wanted to say goodbye to him. "Stay safe," I said to him.

"Same to you, babe."

Lester waved cheerily at me and Hector nodded in my direction. I waved to both of them and went inside and locked the door.


	28. Chapter 28 - Enter Junkman

Two notes - didn't send out an update notice last time I updated, so have a look at Chapter 27 if you're not sure if you've read it. The text in Italics spoken by Junkman is directly from Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich, I didn't write it! The text fit perfectly with my version of the story so I decided to include that snippet and keep Junkman as he was in the book.

* * *

Dickie was not happy when he arrived home and saw the Porsche. He knew straight away who it belonged to. I guess I was right when I thought that it was only Ranger and drug dealers who had that model car in Trenton.

"Are you for real, Stephanie? Don't you see an issue with this?"

"No. He said that he was going away for a week and wouldn't be using it."

"Carlos Manoso just lent you his Porsche 911 and I'm not supposed to think anything of it? Do you think he goes around lending sports cars to all his clients?"

"What exactly are you accusing me of, Dickie?" I asked, gritting my teeth.

"Nothing! But I don't trust him. He wants something."

"Probably for one of the clients from his security company to not be murdered in their home by gang related violence?"

Dickie paused. It seemed that made sense to him. Or maybe it just stopped him from arguing. Either way I thought it was better to not mention the addition of the cameras at the moment.

"I have to go away for work. One of the senior partners is having an issue with a client and wants me to go to the Cayman Islands where the client lives with him. I'll be gone at least a week, maybe two. Do you want to come with me? It might be safer for you there, and there's a beach," Dickie said. I thought for a minute. I'd never gone with Dickie before because he worried about security on his trips. He usually didn't go away for so long though and two weeks beside the beach, not having to worry about Trenton gangs sounded like the best idea I'd heard in a long time. Then I realised something, and hit my head.

"Ugh! My passport!"

"What?"

"I never got my passport renewed after it expired. We hardly ever travel so I just figured that I'd renew it next time we planned a vacation. I can't go."

"Seriously?"

"I could apply for a rushed passport, sometimes you can get those in a few days," I told him.

"I need to leave tomorrow morning."

"I'll apply on Monday and join you as soon as I can," I told Dickie.

It seemed like the best plan. Especially with Rangeman keeping on eye on the place, what could go wrong? Also I had a Porsche to drive.

* * *

Dickie left the next morning, and I got up and wandered aimlessly around the house before deciding to visit my parents and to take Grandma for a ride in the Porsche.

"Look at that," Grandma said, sliding her teeth around her mouth. "You must have a good insurance company if you get that as a replacement vehicle when yours is getting fixed."

I didn't bother to correct her, and instead drove her past Clara's beauty parlour, the senior centre, her friend Mabel's house, and then to the bakery to get doughnuts. We took them home to share with my parents. My father eyed the black Porsche with suspicion, but that was the same way he looked at all non-American cars, so I figured it wasn't going to cause any issues.

"Do you want to stay for lunch?" my mother asked. "There's pineapple upside down cake."

Uh oh. I suddenly had a bad feelings if she was breaking out the cake bribe already.

We sat down to eat, and my mother looked over at me. "I was down at the deli getting lunch meat, and Sheila Markowitz told me that there's a gang hit out on you. A gang hit, Stephanie! What did you do?"

"Nothing! And there's no gang hit. I was a witness to a robbery that was committed by a gang member, and there was some graffiti on my car and house, that's all. I've reported it to the police, and they're taking it seriously, and my home security company has stepped up their surveillance, and I'm sure it will be all sorted out soon. But there's no hit, I promise. Sheesh, isn't there any better gossip around?" I asked. My mother didn't look reassured. I made a sandwich and ate it, figuring that she'd stop asking questions if I had my mouth full of food.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"That sounds exciting," Grandma said. "If some gang members came after me, I'd shoot them. I keep my gun on me at all times so I'm always ready. See?" She pulled out a hang gun from out of her hand bag that was hanging off the back of the car next to her and waved it around. My father ducked, but kept eating. My mother rushed over and grabbed the gun off Grandma.

"I thought I'd hidden this well enough," she said.

"I'm an old lady, I have rights. I need a gun," Grandma said.

"She got it at a yard sale, there's no way it's legal," my mother told me, disappearing with the gun and reappearing a few minutes later. Grandma looked thoughtful and I knew that she was figuring out where the gun had been hidden this time.

"Maybe you should give the gun to Stephanie for protection," she said.

"No! That's fine. I don't need one," I said. My father finished eating and looked around expectantly, and my mother rushed back to the kitchen and brought out the cake. We all had a big slice of cake, and my mother packed up a piece for me to take with me. I said goodbye, made an excuse to go, and left.

Ranger had told me to take the car for a drive, and I believed him when he said that me being seen in the car might make the Slayers think twice about their campaign against me, so I decided to go for a drive. Ten minutes later I decided that driving aimlessly was a bit boring. I hit the GPS and decided to snoop. There was nothing programmed in but when I hit the history button, addresses came up. I had a look at the map. I couldn't see anywhere on there that looked like a likely spot for Ranger to live. Mostly it was the Rangeman building on Haywood. I thought about visiting Val and the girls, or Mary Lou and her boys, but decided against it. Instead I drove out to Point Pleasant for the day and walked along the boardwalk and got a corn dog. Sometimes it was nice to be by myself.

I'd just gotten home from my day at the shore, relaxed and stuffed full of fried foods, gone inside and re-set the alarm, and gone upstairs to shower, when my phone rang. It was Morelli. Why did I feel like this wasn't going to be good news?

"This isn't good news," he began. "The word from our informers is that there's a hit out on you. They're getting a hitman named Junkman in from the California Slayers. Junkman apparently had four targets and your name was mentioned on the list. This is serious, Steph, you need to be careful. Is Dickie home?"

"No," I said, feeling faint. "He had to go to the Cayman Islands to help one of the law firm partners."

"He should be far enough out of the way to be fine, so don't worry about him. Maybe you should have gone with him."

"My passport expired," I said, by way of explanation.

"Well, keep your phone by the bed, we'll have some extra patrols going by your house overnight, and be careful when you're out and about, okay?" Morelli said.

"Ugh," I said, flopping down on the bed. I didn't feel safe in my home since the Slayers knew where I lived. I made sure that the alarm was set before I went to bed and also put an assortment of pots and pans in front of the external doors for extra warning if someone tried to break in.

* * *

I woke up the next morning relieved to still be alive, and decided to eat a healthy breakfast so I was in tip top shape in case I needed to run for my life later that day. Dickie's healthy muesli was not enjoyable, and I managed to drink it all down, along with my (sugarless) coffee. I eyed off his container of grapefruit juice but decided that was going a step too far. I'd just have to be fast without it.

I got ready for work, and drove to the new office. We hadn't advertised our address anywhere yet, so I felt fairly confident that the Slayers wouldn't find me there. Mary Lou didn't work on Mondays, but there were other people in the nearby warehouses, so I wasn't alone. We'd been busy moving and getting settled in the new warehouse, so I spent the morning catching up on orders, packaging them up and sending them out.

I took a break at midday to post the parcels and went to a nearby cafe for lunch to reward myself for being so industrious. I'd just returned to the office after finishing off an excellent sandwich and fries when I got a call from Morelli. As was our theme lately, it wasn't good news.

"We've found the first gang member. We're not sure what order Junkman is looking for people in, or if he'd just doing it in whatever order he feels like, but be careful. This was messy. We think we've found all the parts but it's hard to be sure."

I felt cold. Maybe I was going into shock.

"Stephanie? Are you there?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"There's a Slayer hitman after me, Joe, and you ask if I'm okay?"

"Bad question. What do you want to do?"

"I'm going to try to get my passport, then I'm going to the Cayman Islands, that's what."

Maybe fleeing gangsters and/or the Mob was a common reason in Trenton to request an emergency passport, but whatever the reason, the powers that process the passports were not impressed with my story. I paid for the rush fee and crossed my fingers that I'd have my passport within a few days. I just had to hang on until then.

It felt safer to stay around Trenton. At least I knew what out of place people looked like in The Burg. And with the gossip hotline, no one could go unspotted. Even the Johnson's cousins visiting from South Dakota got a mention on the gossip hotline.

I packed up my laptop and tidied up the office ready for the morning, then locked up. I didn't feel like I could go home. It didn't feel safe. I didn't feel like being on my own any more but didn't want to visit my family or Mary Lou in case the Slayers decided to track me down.

Then I had a random thought and drove to visit Dougie and Mooner. They spent most of their time at Mooner's house, but Dougie had a corner lot that I could park the car in to hide it. I was in luck, they were at Dougie's watching Star Trek and eating cheetos and didn't ask any questions as to why I was hiding a Porsche 911 in the backyard. Dougie had hidden more than that in the backyard, and Mooner was too stoned to care.

"Is that Batman's car?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. It's not the Batmobile. But I guess it could belong to Bruce Wayne?"

"Far out," Mooner said, then turned his thoughts back to the Starship Discovery.

I sat beside them on the couch, ate their snacks and zoned out to the sci fi. After a few hours of watching the crew of Star Trek problem solve, I felt brave enough to head home. The doors were watched by RangeMan, I reminded myself. It would be fine. Dougie helped me with getting the Porsche out of his backyard, then he and Mooner waved me off. With cheeto-filled optimism, I set off. I made it as far as the first stop sign.

When I stopped at the stop sign, there was a knock on the window. I looked over. There was a tall man beside the car. He gestured for me to wind down the window. I shook my head. Hell no. I stared at him. He was tall and well built. He was wearing a hoody and dark glasses and I couldn't see much of him beyond that.

Then I got curious and put the window down a crack so I could hear that he was saying. Damn it, Stephanie, curiosity isn't always a good thing.

"Nice car," he said.

" _Un hunh."_

" _Yours?"_

" _For now."_

" _You know who I am?"_

" _No."_

" _You wanna know?"_

" _No."_

" _I'll tell you anyway," he said. "I'm your worst nightmare. I'm Junkman. And I'm not just gonna kill you… I'm gonna eat you alive. You can take that as a literal promise."_

I was surprised at this point that I could still move. I'd thought that I was frozen in fear. I thought about squeaking out why me, but I sensed that Junkman was enjoying this moment. He'd been hoping to see my fear. I hoped that by not winding down the window, I was robbing him of some of that enjoyment. I knew he could hear my voice, but he couldn't see my face.

"I know who you are, and I can find you whenever I want to," he told me. "I'm going to be waiting for you. First I need to finish off a cop, then I'm coming for you. _Make the most of your last hours on earth_."

A black Hummer appeared down the road, and Junkman got into it and disappeared. I was too shaken to get the plate, but I don't think it would have mattered anyway.

I was driving Ranger's car but Junkman still approached me. He wanted me to know that he knew where I was. He wanted me afraid. I wasn't as safe as I thought. I was trying not to shake. Keep it together, Stephanie.

I drove off and headed for the highway. I was getting out of Trenton and far away from Junkman. My phone rang and I let it go to voicemail. Once I was out of Trenton city limits I pulled over into a well lit service station and parked. It didn't feel safe to be out of the car. I was fairly sure that if I stayed locked in the car, I would be safe. Maybe Ranger had bullet proof windows. He seemed like the type of guy to plan ahead and do that.

I called Morelli back.

"Junkman got his second gang member. We found the pieces of this one easier since we knew where to look."

"Junkman just approached me. Or someone saying he was Junkman did."

"Jesus, Stephanie. Where are you? Are you safe?"

"I'm driving around. I'm not going home."

"What did he look like?" Morelli asked. I described Junkman to him, even though I knew it was too vague to be helpful.

"Come into the station, we can keep you safe," Morelli started to argue with me so I hung up on him and ignored him when he called back. Soon he'd get Val to call me. Then maybe even Mary Lou. That made me pause. I wondered if Mary Lou would be safe at work if Junkman was looking for me. I texted her and told her not to come to work for a few days.

 _RU OK? Burg goss says gang hit?_ Mary Lou texted back.

 _Am OK. Being cautious. Don't come into office until you hear from me. Love you,_ I texted her. Then I started crying. I didn't know what to do. Probably going into the police station to Morelli would have been safest, but it didn't like the safe thing to do. I needed to come up with plan, and keep safe until I got my new passport and could run away. I pictured a warm beach, sand between my toes and a ginormous cocktail and felt better. Keep it together, Steph, and all that will be yours.

I put the car into gear and drove around. It smelled like Ranger and that made me feel safe. That also gave me an idea. It wasn't a good idea. In fact, it could be a very bad idea. But it came down to, who would I rather face? A gang hitman, or a Rangeman? I knew that I couldn't live in the 911 forever. For one thing, it was too small. If it had been a Cayenne, I'd have thought about it.

I looked at the keys. The fob looked like it would be used as a swipe card. I tried to remember what I knew about the RangeMan building. It was seven levels. Floor 5 was the control room and offices. The first floor was reception.

I drove to the building on Haywood and parked out the front. It was night time but I figured that there'd be someone watching the front door. I fluffed my hair up, put on more mascara and tried to hide that I'd been crying earlier, and then I got out of the car, watching for Slayers, and walked up to the door of the building. As I'd thought, I didn't need to wait long before the elevator doors opened and a man in black stepped out. It was Hal. He walked over to the door and pressed a button to open it.

"Hey Hal!" I said chirpily.

"Ms Plum?" he asked.

"Ranger lent me his car, but I don't need it anymore, so I'm just returning it," I told him. Hal looked uncertain. "Did I park in the wrong place?" I asked.

"No, that's all right, I can move the car into the garage."

"Oh good. He told me to park there when I was ready to return the car, but I was worried that I'd gotten it all confused," I fibbed and beamed at Hal in my best ditzy Jersey girl impression. I held the key out to him. Hal glanced at it.

"Do you want me to drive you anywhere?"

"Oh no, no I'm fine, my dad will come and pick me up," I told him.

"Jump in and I'll park the car, then you can wait in the Control Room for him," Hal suggested.

Well an invitation into the building beat sneaking in, I guess. I hopped into the passenger side of the Porsche and Hal drove us around the side of the building and into an underground garage, using a fob similar to mine to swipe open the garage doors. He parked in front of the elevator, next to an empty spot, Ranger's black truck and the Cayenne. I opened my door and got out to join Hal by the elevator door.

We got into the elevator and Hal pressed the button for Floor 5. "Oh, is it Floor 5? I thought it was Floor 4," I said.

"No, 4 is staff apartments," Hal said.

"Oh I thought they were on the higher floors," I tried out.

"No," Hal said. Apparently he'd reached his word limit. We got out of the elevator on five and Hal walked back over and looked at the monitors. Apparently my arrival had saved him from monitor duty, as Lester's head popped over the bank of screens.

"Glad to see you back, Hal, this was getting boring," Lester said. "Hello Ms Plum, is there a problem with the Porsche?"

"No, I just don't need to use it anymore. I wouldn't want Ranger to think that I was taking advantage of his good nature," I said, and Lester snorted. Apparently Ranger didn't have a good nature.

"Why don't you hold on to the keys? In case you want to use the car," Lester suggested.

"I don't think I'll be needing a car for a while. I'll call you if I do. Thanks though," I told him.

"I was just about to take my dinner break. Do you want to join me?" he asked. I could smell something delicious coming out of the break room. We walked into the break room and I could see a stew in a crockpot with freshly baked bread beside it. There was a second, smaller crockpot which smelled like a berry cobbler.

"I thought you only ate healthy foods," I told Lester.

"Ranger isn't here so we can relax for a few days. It's still healthy, just not twigs and berries level," he told me. We helped ourselves to a plate of food and sat down at the table to eat. We'd eaten half of our meal, mostly in silence (judging from how quickly he ate, Lester was hungry) when a noise sounded in the room. It wasn't quite an alarm, but was an urgent sounding tone.

"Excuse me," Lester said, as he got up and walked quickly out of the room. "SitRep!" I could hear him yelling. Hal responded, and then there was a flurry of activity.

I finished eating as I listened to them getting organised – it sounded like a break-in at a store with the team on site needing back-up. I covered Lester's plate and put it in the fridge, then washed up my plate and put it away. I saw disposable containers in the cupboard next to the plates so I took two and filled them with the stew and dessert. This was kind of like having dinner with my parents, except I was helping myself to the leftovers. I peeked out at the quiet control room. Only Hal was at the monitors and he looked surprised to see me. Apparently with all the commotion, Hal had forgotten that I was in the break room.

"My ride is here, thanks Hal," I said, waving to him. He nodded then went back to watching the screens intently.

I stepped into the elevator and took a deep breath. If this didn't work, I was out of ideas. I remembered Ranger telling me that he was a workaholic and understood how I felt about working from home and starting up a business. I remembered that Big Dog thought his address was a vacant lot when it was the building at Haywood. I swiped the fob and pressed 7 for the highest floor.


	29. Chapter 29 - A good night's sleep

The elevator started moving. It moved slowly from five to seven, and the doors opened smoothly.

I stepped out into a small foyer, with a table next to the door. I hurried over to the door and paused. What if I'd got this wrong? Should I knock first? I held the fob up to the door and swiped myself in, and quickly shut the door behind me. I was relatively sure that the apartments wouldn't be monitored but I guess I'd find out.

I put my food down on the kitchen counter, and had a look around. It was a large apartment, with an open plan kitchen, lounge and dining area. There was a doorway off the lounge that looked like a powder room, and then a small hallway. I had a look down there. The first room off the hallway was a study, and the last room left was a bedroom. There were no photos or personal items on display. I stuck my head into the ensuite, then breathed in. I could smell a faint scent. Ranger. I relaxed.

I made my way back to the kitchen and put my food away, inspecting the fridge. There was beer, low fat yoghurt, olives and eggs along with a good selection of condiments. I looked in the crisper drawer and found apples, limes and oranges. There was also two types of cheese in the dairy compartment. The kitchen cupboard contained muesli, honey, crackers, tuna, green tea and coffee. Ranger clearly did not believe in buying in bulk. I wondered how much time he spent here. I also hoped that it wasn't just someone with the same taste in after shave as Ranger, and that this was the mysterious stranger who smelled the same as Ranger's apartment. I wondered if that justified snooping in the drawers, to try and find out who this apartment belonged to. The kitchen cupboards didn't enlighten me, so that left either the bedroom or the study.

I chose the bedroom first. It seemed less invasive, somehow. There weren't any photos on display, no books on the night stand, no papers nearby. The wardrobe was full of black clothes. No other colours. Either Ranger only wore black, or he had another closest elsewhere that held the colour. I opened a drawer in the night stand and found a single pair of boxer shorts. Which made me realise that there was no underwear in the wardrobe. So either Ranger had packed it all to take with him, or he didn't wear any. I felt my cheeks flush at the thought.

I wasn't sure about poking around the study in case he had business information out, but everything looked fairly tidied away. There were no photos in here either, but I did find the notes from my meeting with Ranger on the website. I took that as good enough confirmation that this was his apartment. I also found a phone charger that I could use for my phone.

I went back out to the kitchen and heated up the dessert that I'd taken from downstairs. Lester had said it was fairly healthy but it wasn't too bad. I added an extra squirt of honey on top and wished that I had some ice cream to go with it. I checked Ranger's freezer but there was only ice cubes in there.

My phone rang. I froze. I didn't know the number so I let it go to voicemail, and then checked the message when it beeped.

"Hi Stephanie, this is Tank from Rangeman. Uh, Ranger asked me to keep an eye on your situation with the troubles you've been having. Our informants have given us some news that has me concerned and I'd like to know that you're safe. Please give me a call when you can."

Well that's an understatement, Tank. The news about a hitman being after me is more than a little concerning, especially now that I've met Junkman, but I think that I'm safe now. I decided to give Tank a call back.

"Hello?"

"Hi Tank, this is Stephanie Plum, returning your message."

"Stephanie. Are you somewhere safe?"

"Yes I am."

"Are you at home?"

"No, I'm staying at a friend's house."

"Okay. Ranger asked me to keep an eye on your situation while he was away. Please call me if you need anything, and keep a low profile until the police find Junkman."

"Will do. Thanks Tank."

"Anytime," he said, and hung up.

I relaxed. Tank checking up on me meant that he didn't know that I was in Ranger's apartment, and also meant that Ranger was still away, and, I was assuming, not due home in the next few days. I was safe in his apartment. Although I'd managed to scam my way into the building and past security, I was a known visitor and I had a key fob. I was confident that Junkman couldn't find his way in as easily. I knew that Ranger hired ex-gang members (Hector being a good example) but I was confident that none of them would risk his wrath by letting someone into his private domain. I still put a few bottles across the doorway just in case.

I washed up my dessert bowl and spoon, put the dishes away, and went into the bedroom. I had no spare clothes with me, so I had a look through Ranger's wardrobe again. I pulled out a soft shirt, black of course, and some sweat pants that I could roll up.

I took a deep breath. I could do this. It just a shower. It was just Ranger's shower. It was just Ranger's shower in his apartment that he didn't know that I was in. It was just Ranger's shower in his apartment that he didn't know that I was in and I didn't know when he was getting home. It was just – I stopped myself thinking and took off my clothes. There wasn't a washer or dryer in the apartment, so I put my shirt and underwear beside the sink to handwash. I took a shower, washed my hair, and sniffed Ranger's shower gel. That was the scent. I lathered up and got out of the shower, smelling like Ranger and feeling vaguely guilty. Apparently it wasn't taking over Ranger's apartment that made me feel guilty, it was smelling like him. I found a robe behind the bathroom door (black of course) and put it on, then found a hair dryer under the sink and dried my hair.

I hand washed my clothes and hung them up to dry, changed into Ranger's clothes, and then got the charger and plugged my phone in. I was all ready for bed. I checked the beer bottles that I'd put across the main doorway just in case, added a few pots and pans, and then went back into the bedroom. I wondered which side Ranger usually slept on, but the lack of personal items in the room made it impossible to tell. I decided on the side closest to the door and slid between the sheets.

They were the best sheets that I'd ever slept on. Soft, silky, warm. They smelled comfortingly like fabric softener, which made me think that they'd been washed since Ranger had last slept on them.

I tried to remain alert while I slept, but before I knew it, I'd slipped into a deep sleep.

I opened my eyes. A small amount of light was peeking under the blinds, and I checked my phone. It was 8am, I'd been asleep for 9 hours, and I had multiple missed calls. The most recent one was from Mary Lou, so I started with her.

"Stephanie! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Mare, I'm fine."

"The rumours are crazy around here. They said there's a mob hit out on you?"

"Not a mob hit! Geez. The rumour mill is having trouble these days keeping up. It's got to do with that robbery I witnessed, so I'm just laying low for a few days. And I don't want you at work alone, so take a few days off, okay?" I told her.

"What about our orders?"

"I got all caught up yesterday. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Do you want to come and stay here, Steph? So you're not alone with Dickie away?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks Mare. I'll see you tomorrow."

I got up and splashed some water on my face. I stared longingly at the shower. I really had no reason to take another shower since I'd had one before bed the night before, but Ranger's shower was amazing. The perfect pressure, a great shower head, not to mention the amazing smelling shower gel.

I wrapped the robe around myself and went into the kitchen to make a coffee. Ranger seemed to have some kind of fancy coffee press but there was also a jar of instant coffee that I opened up. I found Ranger's muesli in the cupboard and added low fat milk. Ick. At least it was adding to my healthy diet in case I needed to run from Junkman, or survive the zombie apocalypse. I drank half of my coffee and unenthusiastically chewed on the muesli before listening to the next message. My mother. "Why me, Brenda Matherson's daughter doesn't get involved with gangs, blah blah blah..." I sighed and sent her a text to let her know that I was okay, but taking a few days off work.

Another message had come in while I was listening to the very long "why me" message from my mother. I finished off my coffee, ate the rest of the cereal and wishes for marshmallows. None had appeared in Ranger's cupboard. The cereal sucked, and I was still hungry, so I ate my leftover stew from last night. I was trying to ration out the food a bit better, but muesli was like eating bark and twigs.

I listened to my new voicemail message. It was from Morelli.

"Junkman killed his cop. A narcotics detective from Northern New Jersey working in Trenton as a secondment. Be careful, Steph, and call me."

It was a good thing that I was already sitting down. I was the last one left on Junkman's list. While I was fast asleep last night, oblivious to the world, Junkman was moving around. I shivered. I had felt very safe in Ranger's apartment, but now I wasn't feeling so sure. I guess I'd better call Morelli.

"Steph!" he answered.

"Hi Joe."

"Where are you? I went to your house but you're not answering the door."

"I'm not there, Joe. I didn't feel safe."

"Where are you?"

"No offense, but I don't feel like telling you."

"Stephanie!" he sounded annoyed. "Your sister is worried. Your mother is worried."

"Great, Joe. I'm worried too! That's why I'm not home. A hitman is after me, so I'm staying inside. I'm at a friend's house. It's safe."

"We can keep you safe."

"You couldn't keep one of your own safe, Joe."

He was silent. I guess that hit too close to home.

"Keep in touch, okay, Steph?"

"I'll have my phone on, Joe. Call me anytime."

One caller was noticeably absent. Dickie. If it had been him with a homicidal gang hitman after him, I'd have at least checked in, but Dickie was bad at calling while he was away on a business trip. I sighed. Dickie was the way he was, and wishing wasn't going to change that.

Now I was the only one left on Junkman's list. And given how easily he'd found me yesterday when I'd been hidden away from Dougie and Mooner's worried me. I remembered Ranger telling me about how Dickie could check where my phone was using the phone data, and wondered if Junkman was doing the same.

I decided to call Tank for some help. I asked him if I should be worried about the Slayers tracing my whereabouts through my phone location. He thought for a second, then said, "You know what, I'm going to get Lester to give you a call back. Lester thinks he's James Bond, so he'll know this spy stuff."

My phone rang a few minutes later as I was staring into the cupboard and wishing that more food had appeared.

"Hey Steph! Tank said you were asking about phone tracing, is that right?"

"Hi Lester. Yes. I was laying low yesterday afternoon, but Junkman approached me and-"

"Junkman approached you?" Lester asked, horrified.

"Yes. So since then I've been somewhere that I think is secure but I'm worried about him finding me. I was at a friend's house yesterday that I rarely visit, and the only way I can think of that he knew where I was would be if he followed me, and then waited for hours, or if he was tracing my phone. And I was fairly careful to check and see if I was being followed."

"Hector's good with technology, so he's going to have a look and see how easy that would be," Lester told me. I could hear Hector talking in the background.

"Really?" Lester asked.

"Si," Hector replied, sounding amused.

"So you're… Hector says you're in the building. Are you downstairs?"

"Um..."

"Because I can just come to the foyer if you're down there."

"Well..."

I could hear a smile in his voice.

"Oh Stephanie. You haven't done what I think you've done, have you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, lying through my teeth.


	30. Chapter 30 - Lester is sneaky

"So you're… Hector says you're in the building. Are you downstairs?"

"Um..."

"Because I can just come to the foyer if you're down there."

"Well..."

I could hear a smile in Lester's voice.

"Oh Stephanie. You haven't done what I think you've done, have you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, lying through my teeth.

"Can we shortsheet his bed? I've always wanted to do that."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Actually I have shortsheeted his bed, which is why I'm no longer allowed up there."

"Is that so?"

"Do you know I have a small studio apartment on the fourth floor while he has a big luxury one on the seventh? Does that seem fair to you, Stephanie? I mean sure I get the rent for free in exchange for doing a few on call shifts each month, but still."

I laughed. That also told me why there were lights on late at night on the fourth floor.

"Hector is looking at a few things, and I need to talk to Tank."

"Don't tell him that I'm up here," I said, anxious.

"I won't mention it. Just sit tight and don't leave the apartment without telling me, okay? Watch something on Ranger's giant TV while sitting in his luxury recliner, and just relax."

"Relax? I need to work."

"Well, work while watching TV. Whatever. Just don't leave the apartment. I'll check in with you soon."

I said goodbye to Lester, and then roamed around the apartment a bit more. I set my laptop up in the living area, turned on the television for some background noise, and got to work. It was a boring morning, made even more boring by the lack of snacks, but it was kind of my love of snacks that got me into this situation in the first place, so I guess that it made sense. My phone rang. I looked down at the display. Dickie.

"Steph? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Why."

"Because you're not at home. I tried calling the home phone and you didn't answer."

"It's a work day, why would I be at home?" I asked him, rolling my eyes. He must be tracking me phone again. If he wasn't going to come out and say that though, I wasn't going to give him any extra information.

"Oh right. Well are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Dickie. I haven't gotten my passport yet, and I'm staying safe."

"Joe Morelli called me. He said you wouldn't come into the station."

"No, I'm not."

"Steph, you should-"

"I'm not going into the station, Dickie. Even a police officer wasn't kept safe. I'm keeping myself safe, and I'll call for extra help if I need it, but until I get my passport I'm just laying low, and that includes not going into the police station."

"Okay," Dickie said, sounding annoyed. I sighed. Maybe I shouldn't be so annoyed with him.

"What's the beach like?" I asked him.

"It's nice. I haven't had much time to get down there, but I think you'd like it."

"I'll let you know when my passport comes through and I book a flight, okay?"

"Sounds good, Steph. I should be home in a few days though. Maybe at the end of the week. We should plan a trip away together since you missed out on this one."

"Let's do that," I said, feeling guilty now for snapping at him. "Do you have any places in mind?"

"Somewhere warm. Someone that you can wear that red bikini. Florida. The shore. Las Vegas with a pool. You pick and let me know. Stay safe, okay?"

"I will. You too. Bye," I said.

I googled holiday destinations for a few minutes, then tried to focus back on my spreadsheets. Orders were rolling in, which was fantastic, but I'd have to access the warehouse in the next few days to get them all together. We also needed to look at a re-order for the older lines soon. I updated our social media sites with a cheery meme. No need to mention that orders may be delayed due to the company owner being stalked by a homicidal maniac hitman.

It was nearly lunchtime when my phone rang again. This time I recognised Lester's number.

"Hi Lester."

"Hey Steph. Just wanted to let you know that I have a plan underway, so don't worry."

"Great. Thanks Lester."

"I'm waiting on Tank to give his approval, then I can talk it over with you."

"Should I be worried?"

"No, not at all. Don't worry, I follow Ranger's orders, and he gave orders that we need to watch out for you."

"Uh… good?" I said. I was kind of confused by all of Lester's talking. I didn't know that Rangemen knew how to talk this much, even if Lester was the chattiest one.

"Do you need anything?"

"I need some food. I'm down to honey on crackers. Ranger needs to learn how to eat food properly."

"Come down to five, we're having sandwiches and choc chip cookies."

"Are you trying to get me out of my hiding spot?"

"Maybe. Oh and just a warning – our housekeeper likes to freshen up the place before Ranger comes home. Don't scare her, she's a very lovely lady and we're all very fond of her."

I heard a noise outside. Damn that Lester, he'd phoned to distract me. He was trying to flush me out of my hiding spot! I knew that he couldn't access Floor 7 on his own, so he'd sent up their housekeeper to discover me. What a sneak!

I needed to hide, because there was no way that I could explain my presence here. I looked around frantically. I don't think a housekeeper would go into Ranger's study, so I headed in there and under the desk, pulling in the chair behind me. If I was discovered, I'd look ridiculous, but it seemed like the safest place to hide.

Just as the door opened, and I'd tucked myself away under the desk, I remembered my laptop. Oh no! Foot steps went into the kitchen, and then stopped. Then I remembered that I'd also my breakfast dishes drying on the counter. And I'd left the TV on. Some spy that I was!

"Hello? Is anyone home?" a voice called. It must be Ranger's housekeeper. The voice sounded familiar, and then it all clicked together for me.

"Ella!" I called, scrabbling out from under the desk (thankfully she couldn't see that part) and coming out of the study.

"Stephanie? Dios mio! Lester said that Ranger had a houseguest that I should prepare for but didn't tell me who! How are you?" Ella said, opening her arms out. I was delighted to see her and gave her a big hug.

"I'm okay. I just needed a safe place to stay, and Ranger had left me his keys," I said. Vague honestly was the best policy, I decided.

"Why? What's going on? Are you in trouble?" Ella asked. Then she held up a hand to stop me from speaking, went to the items she'd placed on the counter, and took out a container of cookies.

"Chocolate chip?" I asked, and squealed a little when she nodded. My favourite. I went to the cupboard and got out mugs to make us both a cup of coffee to go with the cookies.

"I'll teach you how to use the coffee press," Ella offered. My hero.

Ella and I were still chatting, and getting updated on each other's news, when my phone rang half an hour later. Lester again.

"Sooooo..." he began with.

"Yes?"

"You didn't scare Ella to death or tie her up, did you? She hasn't reappeared."

"We're having coffee and cookies," I informed him.

"Are you coming down to level five?"

"Not yet. Ella and I are busy catching up," I told him. "It's been a few months since we've seen each other."

"You and Ella know each other?"

"Yes, and she's busy filling me in on your womanising ways," I told him.

"We need to go over my plan," he told me. I agreed to come down to level five in half an hour, then hung up.

"Lester wants me to visit them down on Level Five," I told Ella.

"I'll take you down," she offered. "Do you need to borrow some clothes?"

I realised then that I was still wearing Ranger's robe, with his shirt and sweatpants on underneath.

"Oh! No. I hand washed my clothes and was just wearing these while they dried. I'll go get changed, then we can go downstairs," I said.

"I just need to tidy up in here first and put a few things away."

Since it was me who had made all the mess that Ella was tidying up, I jumped up to help her put the groceries that she'd bought up away, packed up my laptop and then changed back into my clothes from the day before.

"How long do you think you'll be here for?" Ella asked.

"I'm not sure. Hopefully only a few days."

"Why don't you stay with me and Louis?" Ella asked. "Ranger doesn't really have the space for house guests once he returns, and you won't be lonely like you might on Level 4. The men here are friendly, but can be quite formal around women, especially when they first meet you."

"Are you sure that you have the room? I don't want to be a bother," I told her.

"We're all set up for guests! Our sons visit from college. Our apartment has two bedrooms and a fold out couch. And it would be nice to have another woman to talk to. There's too much testosterone in this building," Ella said.

"Thank you," I told Ella. I was touched that she was so excited to see me.

"You also look like you need clothes. I'll buy you some," Ella told me.

"No, that's fine, I'm okay," I said.

"Lester said that I needed to look after Ranger's house guest. I'm just following orders," Ella told me, winking. We gathered up her baskets and I headed to the bedroom to grab my bag. I looked around to make sure that Ella wasn't watching, then breathed in the Ranger scent before closing the door behind me.

It was time to face whatever was waiting for me on Level 5.


	31. Chapter 31 - Lester has a plan

Sorry for the delay, I'll try not to let it go so long in between chapters again! I hope you enjoy this one - I'm trying to keep true to the JE version of Stephanie where she's not entirely sensible all of the time.

* * *

Lester was waiting for me when I got off the elevator at Level 5. Ella came after me, explaining that she wanted to get started on the dinner preparations for the break room. The men on the monitors called out to her, thanking her for their lunches and asking what was for dinner that night.

Lester took me into the break room to collect a sandwich, chatted with Ella while I ate, and then took me into an office where Hector was already sitting down.

"I asked Hector to look into your phone and he thinks it's a possibility that you're being tracked through it," Lester began. "And then I looked at our security footage and found this."

He turned his computer monitor around so I could see and flicked through a few images. It was the outside of the building, the time stamp was very early that morning, and the outline of the figure looked like the one who had approached me and claimed to be Junkman.

I was sleeping when that footage was taken, happily oblivious to the world, curled up in Ranger's bed. I was very happy that I hadn't been stubborn and gone home instead. Junkman may have only been prowling around to get the lay of the land, or he might have had something else in mind that he might have carried out had I not been in one of the most secure buildings in Trenton.

"Does he look familiar?" Lester asked.

"Someone approached me yesterday and claimed to be Junkman. He told me was coming for me after he killed the cop on his list. Morelli called me this morning to say that Junkman had killed a police officer. I guess he was looking for me afterwards," I said.

"Fuck," Lester said. I agreed.

"What do we do?" I asked Lester.

"You could turn your phone off. Or you could use this," he said, handing me a packet of potato chips. I opened them and ate one before offering them to Lester and Hector.

"Is this to cheer me up? Isn't all junk food banned from this place?" I asked.

"The foil lining will block the GPS signal," Lester said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's a low budget faraday cage."

"How does it work?"

"First we eat the chips. Then we put the phone inside and seal it up. That's if you want to block Junkman, although since he knows you were here, he'll probably assume that you're still here anyway," Lester said.

I ate a few more chips. They seemed to be helping. A coke would have also helped enormously, but I couldn't see something that sugar filled making its way over the Rangeman doorway. An alarm would probably go off.

"Do you need to go into your work today? We could send someone in if you need anything," Lester said.

"No, not today. But I will need to do something tomorrow, we have orders from today that will need to be sent out. Plum Lingerie is known for our speedy delivery, I don't want to let my customers down," I said.

Lester opened his mouth, and then closed it again. I'm guessing it had something to do with the words lingerie, speedy, delivery, and down.

"We'll figure it out. I can always get one of the men and go in and collect whatever you need," Lester said.

"I don't want to take up any more of your resources," I said. "You need to run a business, and I don't want to take away from that."

"Well I am under strict instructions from Ranger to ensure that you stay alive. He's kind of scary when he's angry, so I'm hoping to avoid that. Also thanks to Junkman being a serial killer and targeting a police officer, he's jumped up a few Most Wanted lists and we'll get a hefty reward for bringing him in. So don't worry about that. You're the last person left on Junkman's list, and you can help us catch him," Lester told me.

"So what's the plan?"

"The plan is we wait for Tank to get back from his meeting, then we explain the plan," Lester said. "Tank is out talking to a few of our Slayer contacts to confirm what we think we know."

"You weren't a Slayer, were you?" I asked Hector. He looked insulted.

"Hector's the wrong ethnicity to be a Slayer," Lester explained. "Also that's not a great question to ask anyone."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I have a lot to learn. _Lo Siento_ , Hector," I tried to apologise to him. He winked to me, so I guessed that I was forgiven.

There was a knock on the door and Tank stepped in.

"Report," he said to Lester.

"Stephanie is here and unharmed," Lester said, gesturing to me. "But we've established a positive ID for the suspect seen outside earlier as Junkman. Stephanie identified him. He also approached her yesterday, and we suspect her mobile phone is his way of tracking her."

Hector muttered something in Spanish. Tank nodded but didn't bother to translate for me. I really needed to work on my Spanish.

"So what's the plan?" he asked.

"Junkman probably knows where Stephanie's work is. She isn't going in today, and has told Mary Lou to take the day off also. We're going to set something up at the workplace using Stephanie's phone as the bait. We can send men in posing as workers in other businesses nearby. Rangeman already has the security for the complex so we have access to the cameras. We'll make it look like Stephanie has gone into work alone and is a very tempting target."

"How will you do that?" Tank asked.

"We've got a contractor who looks vaguely like Stephanie," Lester said. Hector snorted.

"Jeanne Ellen does not look vaguely like Stephanie," Tank said.

"Well she's the best that we've got on short notice," Lester said.

"It might not be enough to tempt Junkman into the trap," Tank said.

"Well we have his only prize so he'll be tempted sooner or later," Lester countered.

I decided to step in.

"What can I do in this plan?" I asked.

"You stay here, nice and safe," Tank said.

"Ella and Stephanie know each other, as it turns out, so Ella has offered her guest bedroom to Stephanie," Lester said.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Yes," Tank said.

"For real?"

"Yes," Lester said. Hector snorted again.

"So you Rangemen go out and risk your lives to capture Junkman and I – what? Sit around here and eat bonbons?"

"Ella's flan, but otherwise, yes," Lester said.

"No way. What if your men were injured? I'd never forgive myself," I argued. "If I was go to into my office, show Junkman that I was there, flit around, set a good trap?"

"He would just wait for you to leave," Lester said.

"Well I'll get pizza delivered and make it clear that I'm not leaving," I said. "I'm not your prisoner, and you can't keep me here, and I need to go into work tomorrow. I'm going to do just that, so work your trap around that!"

I wanted to flounce out, but I had no where to flounce to, so I got up and went to the breakroom, and rummaged around in the cupboards. There had to be sugar hidden in here somewhere. I could hear humming coming from a room off the breakroom, and found Ella in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the men on shift. She opened a container and offered me a cookie, and I helped her cut up vegetables until Tank appeared.

"Ranger would not be happy, but we have a new plan," Tank said. I nodded. I didn't know why Ranger wouldn't be happy but figured he would tell me himself when he got back. For now, we were sticking with the plan. The sooner this was over with, the better. I had a business to run and a beach vacation to plan. Maybe Disney World? I followed Tank back to the office as he started to outline the plan, trying to pay attention. It took over an hour. I might not have paid attention for the whole thing but I think I at least got the outlines of it, or the general idea. We agreed to meet tomorrow morning at 0800 hours to go over final details. There were enough details in that briefing, I thought, but whatever. At least I wouldn't be sitting there doing nothing.

* * *

Lester escorted me up to the sixth floor. He knocked on the door. "Get prepared," he told me. "Ella will have made something special in your honour."

I could smell something delicious as soon as the door was opened. The man who had opened the door introduced himself as Ella's husband, Luis, and welcomed me inside. Lester followed me in.

"This looks amazing, Ella," I said, looking at the table.

"You've made a feast, Ella. Surely this is too much for three people?" Lester asked, looking hopefully at the table.

Ella's apartment was stylishly decorated like the rest of RangeMan, but it was a different layout to Ranger's, and felt far more like a home. There were warm colours and throw cushions on the couch that looked like they got used. Ella showed me around – there were two bedrooms, both with an ensuite, and a powder room. "This is your room for now, feel free to put anything that you have away. Dinner will be ready soon," Ella said, showing me to her guest room.

There were pyjamas on the end of the bed; and jeans, a shirt and pullover in the cupboard waiting for me. They were all black, which I took to be Ella's way of helping me to fit in with RangeMan. Even the underwear was black. I picked up the pyjamas and went into the bathroom. The shower was just as nice as Ranger's shower but the shower gel Ella had put in there was fruity scented. I wondered if she'd bought it for me, since I couldn't imagine her sons using it when they were home from college. I had no idea when Ella got time to do all this shopping.

I put my bag down on a small desk in the corner of the room, plugged in my laptop and sent Dickie a quick text to let him know that I was fine and suggesting Disney World for our beach vacation. I washed my face and joined the others out in the open plan living area.

"Two more minutes," Ella told me, handing over a glass of wine.

Soon we were sitting down and eating a delicious meal. I might be in hiding because a serial killer was after me, but I had friends, good food, a safe place to hide, and a plan in place.

I held up my wine glass and made a toast.

"To my friends at Rangeman!"


	32. Chapter 32 - A sacrificed sandwich

I woke up feeling optimistic and happy. I was in a comfy bed where I was meant to be, not sneaking into a mercenary's apartment, I could smell pancakes and soon this being stalked by a serial killer would be over with. Hopefully resolved in a Stephanie-gets-the-bad-guy fashion too, not in a Stephanie-is-gotten-by-the-bad-guy-and-should-have-listened-to-Morelli-and-now-her-mother-will-visit-her-grave-and-say-why-couldn't-you-be-more-like-your-sister way.

I showered, got dressed in my black wardrobe, then went out for breakfast. Ella was out in the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're awake. Did you sleep well?" she asked. "I thought you might like breakfast up here, the break room schedule is for muesli and yoghurt this morning."

"Yuck. That's like eating bark," I said. Ella handed me a cup of coffee.

"Luis has already started work, so it's just us. Tank has asked that you go downstairs to Level 3 at 8am."

"Thanks Ella. And thank you for the pancakes. Hopefully this will be over with today and I'll be out of your hair."

"You're welcome, Stephanie. It's nice to see you again, and nice to have another woman around this building." Ella squeezed my hand, and then left to head down to Level 5 and get started on her day.

I ate breakfast, cleared up my breakfast dishes, then took a deep breath and prepared to go downstairs. I pressed the button for the lift, and stepped into it without looking around. After all, Level 7 was empty, Louis was busy and Ella had left earlier. I immediately regretted that decision when I smacked into someone really solid. Although this was the Rangeman building so really solid described a lot of people. But I knew that smell in particular.

I was a bit afraid to look up but I'm also stubborn, so I looked up to meet Ranger's eyes. He looked tired, and was halfway to growing a decent beard, but his eyes looked happy. In fact, he almost looked… amused?

"Stephanie. I got home after 2am this morning and I was disappointed to get into an empty bed. It was a long drive home and I could have done with someone to warm me up."

I blushed. Oh no. I'd hoped that he wouldn't find out.

"I'm sorry. Who told you?" I asked.

"This whole building is monitored, and there's an extra alert when the seventh floor is accessed. Tank got the alert and called me as soon as you went up to the seventh floor. We figured you had a good reason to be here so he let you stay."

"He knew I was here the whole time?"

"Yeah, he did. He admired your sneakiness though. Why didn't you ask him for help? We have staff apartments on the fourth floor he could have put you in."

"I don't know. This seemed like the best option somehow. He could have given me your wifi password. That would have made it better."

"I'll make a note of that for next time."

"Why did you let me stay? You don't look like the sort of person to have someone in your space."

"This is just an apartment where I sleep. After years in the military you get a different idea about what home is and isn't. And besides, maybe I just wanted an opportunity to get you in my bed."

There was that wolf smile again. Eek, I was in trouble. There was no way that I could explain that to Dickie, ever.

The elevator stopped on Level 3, and Ranger gestured for me to walk out ahead of him. I walked into the conference room for Lester's briefing of the plan that we would go through today. Lester went over the plan that we'd gone through yesterday, and made sure that everyone had the details. Ranger nodded, his face blank. I wasn't sure what he thought of the plan.

"We're going to have eyes on you at all times," Lester said. "We're going to be discreet, and have men pretending to be working at businesses nearby. They're already in place. Ram and Zero are also going to slip in the back door of the building before you arrive and be in the back office so they're close by if needed. We're hoping to intercept Junkman on the way but we don't have a clear visual of what he looks like so we might need to rely on you identifying him for us."

"Won't they get bored?" I asked.

"No. They're trained not to." He handed me a small device that looked like similar to a keyless entry button for a car. "This is your panic button. Keep it in your pocket, and if for some reason you feel threatened, press it and we'll come storming in. So don't accidentally press it." I eyed in warily and slipped it into my pocket. "One last thing," Lester said, and held up the keys to Ranger's Porsche.

"Make it flashy so any Slayers watching know that it's you," he told me, tossing me the keys. Ranger's mouth twitched at the corners. I took that to be approval.

Ella had washed my clothes, so I changed back into my usual work uniform of jeans and out of the all black clothes. I met Lester in the garage and he told me that he'd sent the men out earlier to get into place early.

I drove the Porsche out of the garage and revved the engine. My phone was on the seat beside me, sending out its signal to Junkman, wherever he was lurking. I was tempted to drive around town for a bit, but didn't want to give Junkman a chance to approach me anywhere where the Rangeman team wasn't in place. I was soon outside the Plum Lingerie office, and parked the Porsche out the front. I breathed a sigh of relief as I unlocked the office door and walked inside. I made a show of locking it behind me again as if I was worried about keeping Junkman out.

I opened up my laptop and got started on our orders. Ram was in the warehouse space and Zero in the back office. I nodded to both of them, but didn't speak, as per my orders from Lester. His theory was that if Junkman had the technology to track my phone, he'd probably bugged my office too.

Soon I was in my packaging zone, and before I knew it, a few hours had flown by and I had a pile of packages. I'd messaged Mary Lou earlier that day and she'd scheduled a courier pick-up for me. Mary Lou had streamlined our mailing system by contracting to couriers who would pick the packages up from the office without us having to go to the post office, and they were cheaper than the post office too. I had no idea that was even possible. I missed having Mary Lou at work with me and was looking forward to a giant debrief with her once this was all done. She thought that it was strange that I hadn't wanted her to go into the office, and I think was anxious about me. I owed her a huge catch-up once this was over.

My phone rang and I jumped at the unexpected noise. I checked the display before answering. It was Lester.

"Steph, we got a call. The police say that they've picked up someone who is claiming to be Junkman."

"Wow, that's great! I mean, not for you guys, you miss out on the reward, but now it's all over," I said. I had enjoyed my stay at Rangeman but I was looking forward to getting back to my own bed.

"I think we should still stick with the plan," Lester said.

"But why? There's no need for you guys to stick around here if Junkman has been arrested. I have a more things to do and then I'm done for the day. I might even order some Pino's to celebrate," I told him.

"The description of the suspect in custody is someone of medium height and built," Lester said. I paused. That didn't sound like the man I'd met on the street who had identified himself as Junkman to me.

"Well, shit," I said.

"I think it's a trap to get you to relax your guard," Lester told me. I thought. Junkman might be listening in right now so I should be careful in what I said, but make it clear that I wasn't planning on leaving.

"Well, if the police have their suspect in custody, I should relax? And celebrate by ordering pizza, right?" I asked. Lester chuckled.

"Go ahead, put in your order to Pino's, but stay on alert. We'll be right here," he said.

I rang Pino's and ordered a large pizza to be delivered, along with a meatball sub. Too much food for one person, probably, but I rationalised by thinking that I could tempt the Rangemen with it.

While I was waiting I started up my laptop and marked off the orders that were being picked up by the courier within the hour. I wanted to make sure that we had everything correct. Details usually weren't my thing, but without Mary Lou there, I wanted to get it right. Mary Lou took her office management role seriously and would hold it against me if I got it wrong.

I heard a car pull up outside and stuck my head outside of the office door cautiously. I recognised the delivery driver from Pino's, and soon held a hot pizza and meatball sub in my arms. I let the door close behind me and breathed in the delicious aromas of my food. I decided to eat at our future front counter where I'd been checking the packages since Ram and Zero were hiding in the back office. I'd just unwrapped my sub and was about to take a bite when I heard the front door open and realised that I'd left it unlocked. I figured that it was probably the courier.

"Oh sorry! I wasn't expecting you just yet," I called out, as I looked up. The person who just entered the store was tall, clean shaven, dressed in business clothes, and wearing sunglasses.

"I don't need long," he said, and I recognised the voice. It was Junkman.

I put my hand in my pocket and pressed the panic button, hoping that Lester was keeping watch outside and had already seen him enter.

I backed away, trying to keep our front counter between me and Junkman. He pulled out a knife and came towards me. "I was hoping to take my time with you, but you've been hard to find," he said, lunging towards me. I jumped backwards and looked for something to throw at him. I grabbed my stapler off my stack of paperwork and threw that at him. He batted it aside easily. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and knew that Ram and Zero would be on the move. If I could distract Junkman so they could sneak up on him, I knew that it would be easier for them. I took a deep breath, grabbed my sandwich. Junkman lunged towards me again and I squealed and threw the sandwich at Junkman. It splattered all over him, and rebounded against me too. He stopped and stared down at his clothes in disbelief.

"What the hell? Did you just throw a sandwich at me?" he asked.

"It's a Pino's meatball sub!" I yelled at him as Zero rushed up and pressed his taser against Junkman's back. I was jerked backwards as Ram pulled me out of reach and shoved me behind the desk. Lester and Woody came rushing in seconds later. The entire encounter had taken less than a minute, although it had felt like much longer.

"It's clear!" Zero called, handcuffing Junkman's arms and legs.

"She's safe," Ram confirmed. I stood up from behind the desk and Lester's mouth dropped open.

"I had to sacrifice my sandwich," I explained. I smelled like marinara sauce and I suspected that I didn't look clean and tidy anymore.

The front door chimed and Ranger and Tank strolled in.

"We had some trouble with Slayers outside but I think we found them all. They were a distraction team while Junkman went inside," Ranger said.

"Unfortunately they seem to have fallen down some stairs before we got them to them," Tank added. Ranger looked me up and down.

"You look good enough to eat," he said, leaning over to sniff me. I picked a meatball out of my hair and threw it at him. He dodged it easily, then leaned over, opened the pizza box and took a slice. I swear that I saw Tank roll his eyes as he barked orders at Ram and Vince to get Junkman out of there and to the police station. I looked at the remains of my sandwich, and picked up a slice of pizza.

"I'm glad that I got back in time to see this. I can count on you to brighten up my day," Ranger said. "And also my bank account. Junkman is worth a lot of money. Thank you for working with us on the takedown."

"Hopefully it pays you back for all the extra security monitoring you did to keep me safe. Not to mention the accommodation," I said.

"I'd like you to stay another night. I need to make sure that the Slayers know this is over with," Ranger told me. I nodded. I didn't want to stay in my house on my own just yet. And I wasn't about to turn down another night of Ella's cooking.


	33. Chapter 33 - Keeping safe

Thank you everyone for your comments, reviews and encouragement. We're up to the start of Eleven on Top here, but since Stephanie spends that book quitting her bounty hunter job, we're going to diverge on to our own timeline and meet up with her later. When I first started this story, Ranger wasn't going to show up until much later on, around Book 13. I had the scene developed of when he'd first appear. But the while re-reading the books, I realised that he shows up even when it's not related to bounty hunter stuff, and that he'd have found his way into Stephanie's life even without the bounty hunting. And as it turns out, he has a lot to say for someone who doesn't talk much.

Ranger arranged for Vince to wait for the courier, and I packed up my stuff, ate another slice of pizza, and left with Ranger. He held out his hands for his car key.

"I thought this was my car?"

"I'm back now. You don't need the distraction. I'll drive in case we meet trouble on the way home."

I handed over the keys. We did not meet trouble on the way home. Ranger parked in the garage, and we went up to the fifth floor together. I headed to the break room to inspect the sandwiches. I was still hungry after sharing my pizza with Ranger, Ram, Zero, Vince and Tank.

"Tank sent me a message. Junkman was delivered safely to the jail. So were the Slayers that were the distraction team," Lester said, sticking his head into the break room. "You look great, Beautiful," he added, chuckling. I looked down at myself. I'd forgotten that I was covered in food. No wonder I was hungry, constantly smelling a meatball sub.

"Do you think Ella would mind if I went back to her apartment and showered?" I asked.

"I'm sure she won't mind but I'll call her to check and then let you in," Lester said. He left the room, reappeared a minute later, and I followed him to the elevator. He let me into Ella's apartment and stood at the door.

"Ella and Louis are offsite doing the shopping so there's no one else in the apartment. Do you need help shampooing your hair?"

"I'll be fine on my own," I said, shooing him away. I liked Lester. He was like an annoying cousin, except not creepy like Vinnie.

I took my time in the shower and changed into my all black clothes afterwards. Even my underwear was black. I felt like I could be a ninja. I yawned. I decided to lie down and think about my day.

"Stephanie?" I heard a voice softly calling. I yawned and opened my eyes. I blinked, trying to make the world come back into focus. I sat up. Ella was standing in the doorway.

"Sorry. Just needed a nap. Accidentally fell asleep," I said.

"Do you need dinner? Louis and I are going out to visit his parents tonight. I can make you something before we go," Ella said.

"No, that's fine. Thank you, Ella. I'll find something."

"The break room is having beef stew with rice if you want to head down there."

"Sounds perfect," I said. I washed my face and decided to head down to Floor 5 and see what I could find. I checked my phone, and it was lit up with missed calls and messages. I sighed. I decided to ignore my phone but did call Mary Lou to let her know that I was fine. Thursday was a usual work day for us, but I wasn't sure if things were settled down enough with the Slayers, so we agreed to decide in the morning and at least meet up for lunch. I told her that I was staying with Ella at the Rangeman building, and Mary Lou made me swear to give her details. I figured that when I told her that I'd actually slept in Ranger's bed, she might pass out from excitement.

Then, out of guilt, I sent my parents and Dickie a text letting them know that I was staying with Ella and perfectly safe. My mother rang back immediately but I let her go to voicemail like the bad daughter that I am. I didn't want to know what the grapevine news was that day, especially the parts that involved me.

I left Ella's apartment, and went down to Level 5. To my surprise although it was after business hours, the floor was still a buzz of activity. The monitor area was quiet and serious, although Hal waved briefly to me when I walked past, but I could hear noise coming from the break room. I stuck my head inside to see Lester, Tank and Vince eating dinner, along with someone who I hadn't met before.

"Hi Stephanie, your courier eventually arrived and I locked up your office and set the alarm. I'm also on duty tomorrow just in case, so we can drive over together in the morning," Vince told me.

"I'm Manny," the new Rangeman said, standing up.

"Manny is new in sales. He's also former FBI so was our contact with them for the Junkman contract," Vince explained.

"I'm Stephanie Plum. Temporary Rangeman resident. Nice to meet you," I said to Manny.

"Nice to meet you too. I know your brother-in-law Joseph Morelli, we worked together on a few cases when I was still with the bureau," Manny told me.

Manny looked Italian, and being former FBI, would make any Italian parents proud. My father would have been ecstatic if I'd brought home an Italian man. I was sure that he blamed Valerie's marriage breakdown on Steve not being Italian, not on Steve running off with the babysitter. But Valerie was married to Morelli now, and producing full blooded Italian children, so all was right in his world.

"Joe and I grew up together," I said to Manny, leaving out many, many details behind that statement.

"Estephania! Hola!" Hector said. He walked in and grabbed a plate, and started loading his plate up with food.

"Hi Hector! Where is your office? I wanted to visit you but I didn't know where you were," I told him.

"Hector lives in a cave in the basement like a troll," Lester said. I looked over at Hector. I'd thought that Lester's backchatting to Ranger was a result of them being cousins, but given the way he talked to Hector, maybe he was just suicidal. Hector's only response was to flash the bird at Lester, so maybe they were all good with each other.

My phone rang and I looked down at the display. It was Morelli, so I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Steph, it's your favourite brother-in-law," he started off with.

"Well that's a low bar to meet," I told him.

"One of the Slayers we took into custody today matches up to your description of the Red Devil. The team in charge want you go in and identify him, and Junkman too," Morelli said. I took a deep breath. I'd hoped to never see either of those two again.

"When?" I asked.

"As soon as possible," Morelli told me.

"I'll let you know when I'm on my way," I told him.

I hung up and explained the situation to Lester and Tank. I realised then that there was a presence behind me in the doorway. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"Go tomorrow," Ranger said.

"Why?"

"Tomorrow would be better. It's been a long day. My men need to go off shift and rest."

"I can take myself. I don't need a bodyguard," I argued, turning around to face Ranger.

I then wished that I hadn't. He was in workout gear, still slightly sweaty, and those thin gym shorts that he was wearing was not hiding anything. I bit my lip to keep from drooling.

"Been working out?" I asked.

"Company gym on this floor," he explained briefly.

"The Slayers are still active. There might be someone else trying to take over Junkman's standing by fulfilling his list. We have our informants working on it, but that's why I wanted you to stay here for another night," Lester said. I looked up at Ranger and he nodded slightly. I sighed.

"Cenar," Hector told me, putting a plate of food down at an empty place at the breakroom table. He gestured pointedly at the seat.

"He says eat your dinner," Lester translated.

"Si, Hector," I said, sliding in next to him and starting to eat. Ranger got food too and sat down opposite me, and we ate while Lester, Manny and Vince chatted, one big Rangeman family.

My phone rang again just after I'd finished eating, and I sighed. It was Morelli again.

"Hey Joe."

"Hi Steph. Are you on your way?"

"Ah…" I stalled.

"Seriously, Steph? These are the criminals that are targeting your life and you can't get your butt down to the station?" Joe asked.

"It's been half an hour, Joe. I don't have a car since those criminals graffitied all over it."

"You can't use Dickie's?"

"Dickie parks at the airport. He isn't here, remember? Anyway, I'm at Rangeman."

"Rangeman? Why are you there?" Joe asked.

"Criminals targeting my life, remember?" I snapped at him. Ranger raised his eyebrows at me. "It's Morelli," I huffed. Ranger held out his hand and I willingly handed over the phone.

"Morelli. Does it have to be now? Okay. We'll be there in twenty minutes. Be ready," he said, and ended the call.

"What happened to tomorrow?" I asked Ranger.

"You and I are going tonight. Vince and Ram have already given their statements. The FBI are putting pressure on the Trenton police force and Morelli is getting twitchy," he explained.

Ranger and I headed down into the garage and got into his car, the Cayenne this time. We drove in silence. I sighed and fidgeted. Even though I knew it was going to be a short car ride, I still hated the silence.

"You should be able to go home tomorrow," Ranger said, breaking the silence. "We'll keep the extra surveillance up for a few more weeks, but I'm not expecting any further issues."

"Lester said he was waiting on a report from an informant."

"Yes," Ranger said, and I sensed that was all I was going to get on that topic.

"Well, I'll be out of your hair soon anyway," I said, trying to keep it light hearted.

"I think the men have enjoyed having you around the building. You'll have to come by and visit us," Ranger said.

Neither of us mentioned Dickie. I suspected that Lester had given Ranger the full briefing on where he was. I also suspected that Ranger did not approve of someone who went to the Cayman Islands while his wife was being targeted by gang violence, even if the serial killer target wasn't known when Dickie left.

We drove into the police parking lot and found a vacant spot next to the back door. The door opened straight away. Morelli was waiting.

"You have twenty minutes," Ranger told him. Morelli nodded and took me inside.

He took me straight into a room with a window through to another room. "It's a one-way mirror," Morelli said. He stayed by my side, so I guess he was taking his role of bodyguard inside the police station seriously. The suspects were ushered in and out for identification. I was able to easily identify Junkman by his voice, and the Red Devil by his face.

At the twenty minute mark, Morelli opened the back door to the police station and ushered me out again. He nodded to Ranger who was leaning against the Cayenne.

"Keep safe, Steph," Morelli said, squeezing my hand. I gave him a hug goodbye and kissed his cheek.

"Give my nieces a hug from me," I told him. Ranger held the door open for me, then climbed smoothly into the car. We drove back to Rangeman in silence. Ranger took me up to the sixth floor and let me into Ella's apartment.

"Thanks Ranger," I told him. It seemed inadequate to simply say thanks, but I couldn't work out how else to say it. Thanks for letting me stay in your place. Thanks for going above and beyond to protect me. Thanks for being my friend when I needed it.

"Sleep well, babe," he told me.

"You too," I said, and closed the door behind me.


	34. Chapter 34 - Dry pot roast

I slept restlessly. My long nap that afternoon had left me not as tired as I should have been. And to be honest, if I'd still had the fob for Ranger's apartment, I'd have been tempted to sneak up to his apartment or maybe just creep all over the Rangeman building to see what I could find but I'd given the fob back to Lester. At 6am, much earlier than my usual wake-up time, I gave up on my restless sleep and showered and dressed for the day. Ella was already awake and about to head down to the Control Room to check on their breakfast supplies, so I followed her down to help out.

I waved to the men on the monitors, and was helping Ella re-stock the cereal containers when I heard a noise that sounded like a shout.

"What was that?" I asked, and Ella rolled her eyes.

"Boys never grow up," she told me. I went to investigate. I heard another shout, and found a doorway near the break room. I peered inside, and found the gym. It was a small room, with some weights, a treadmill, a rowing machine, and Lester and Ranger beating the shit out of each other while Tank watched on. At least that was what it looked like. I saw Lester laugh and push Ranger off him and realised that they were sparring. I also realised watching them move that Lester appeared to be as good a fighter as Ranger was. I wondered what his background was. I'd assumed that he'd gotten his job at Rangeman because of his being Ranger's cousin, but now I suspected there was more to it. Lester caught sight of me, and called out, "Stephanie!" and Ranger took advantage of his distraction to throw him to the ground. Tank shook his head.

"We'll end it there. Time for breakfast. I'm bored with watching you two act out your childhood," Tank said.

"I'm off to shower," Lester announced, winking at me. Ranger looked like he was thinking about rolling his eyes, but followed Lester out without speaking.

"Come on, little girl, let's go eat," Tank said to me. We went into the breakroom and I helped myself to breakfast. Tank and I were chatting about his cats (who knew that Tank was a cat lover?) when first Lester and then Ranger reappeared. I averted my eyes from their still damp hair, and got up to get another cup of coffee.

"We need to expand the control room to have enough men. And that will mean a bigger breakroom," Lester said. Ranger nodded.

"We could move the gym to the second floor," Tank suggested.

"Get some quotes. We have the space down there, or on the third," Ranger ordered.

"What are your plans for the day, Stephanie? Vince is assigned to shadow you and he should be here soon," Lester asked.

"Is that really necessary?" I asked.

"We're not expecting any trouble, but it's best to be safe," Lester said.

"Also Vince needs the practise being a bodyguard, so give him feedback on it," Tank said.

"What does a good bodyguard do?" I asked.

"He's there for security, but not to get in your way. Vince tends to hover, you might have to tell him to back off," Tank said.

"Back off. Got it. We'll be going into Plum Lingerie, and then Mary Lou and I going out for lunch."

"Do it somewhere safe," Tank said.

"What, do you think we were planning to go to Stark Street? We'll go to Pino's, it's packed with cops."

"Perfect," Tank said approvingly, and got up. I noticed that all the men tidied up after themselves, including putting their plates into the dishwasher and wiping down the benches. I texted Mary Lou the plan, and she confirmed that she'd meet me in at work.

Vince and I arrived at Plum Lingerie together, sadly in a standard Rangeman SUV, not in a Porsche. Mary Lou pounced on me straight away, giving me a tight hug and doing a not so subtle check over. I guessed it was a mom thing.

"Also, your mother rang," Mary Lou said, pointing to the office phone. "She said that there must be something wrong with your mobile since you haven't answered any of your calls."

"Shit."

"Call her. She's worried," Mary Lou told me. I sighed and dialled.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"STEPHANIE PLUM THIS IS YOUR MOTHER."

"Yes, I know, I called you," I said. That left her temporarily quiet. I never called her.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm safe and looked after."

"Well thank goodness for that. Come for dinner tonight. 6pm. I'm making pot roast," she said, and hung up before I could decline. I guess I'm having pot roast for dinner then.

I sighed, and settled into the back office with a mug of coffee and got to work. Mary Lou was busy setting up the retail space out the front, determined to properly open our doors soon. Vince stayed near the back office door. Just before midday, I closed the computer and declared it to be lunchtime. I'd skipped my morning doughnut and was hungry.

Mary Lou and I arrived at Pino's for lunch, ordered and settled in a booth. Vince hovered a discreet distance away and eventually settled at a table out of earshot but within quick physical grabbing range. I gave him points on his hovering.

"So," Mary Lou said, grabbing my arm. "Tell me everything! What is Rangeman like? How is Ella? Did you find out where Ranger lives? Are you out of danger?"

"I did find out where Ranger lives! He'd given me his keys so I could drive his car and I managed to sneak into his place."

"Really?"

"Well, as it turns out, he knew I was there the whole time. But I thought I was sneaking at the time," I said.

"Tell me everything. How does the man of mystery live? Is it all dark and broody?" Mary Lou asked. I hoped that Vince didn't have excellent hearing and wasn't reporting back on this.

"No, it's a really nice apartment. He does have black sheets though."

"Ohmigod you saw his sheets? Stephanie! You're a married woman!" Mary Lou said.

"It wasn't like he was in them at the time," I defended myself. Mary Lou picked up a menu and fanned herself at the thought of that. Our subs arrived and we ended our discussion on Ranger and his sheets.

Just after we'd finished eating, my cousin Eddie came in with other patrol cops, and waved to me. They placed their order and Eddie came over to chat while his cop buddies sat down.

"Hey Mary Lou! Steph, it's so good to see you. Are you relieved?"

"About Junkman being behind bars? Yeah, I am. It's going to be good to get back to normal."

"And about the rest of the Slayers too, right? Great news. Although Morelli's going to be busy for a while. Lots of bodies."

"What are you talking about, Eddie?" I asked.

"Didn't anyone tell you? There was a blow up in gang activity overnight. The theory is that the Latin Kings moved in on the Slayers when they were distracted with Junkman and the Red Devil. The Slayers were hit hard," Eddie told me.

"Wow, that sounds big," Mary Lou said, eyes wide.

"It's the biggest thing to happen in Trenton crime in quite a while. Even bigger than when Uncle Mo had those bodies in the candy store," Eddie said.

I pulled my phone out and was dialling Morelli.

"Morelli? It's Steph. What's going on?"

"Hi Steph. I'm a bit busy. I'm not going to make dinner at your parents tonight. But good news for you, the Slayers have other people on their list that they hate more than you now, so I'd say you're all clear now."

"What happened?"

"Looks like a turf war. Probably the Latin Kings moved in while the Slayers were distracted over Junkman. It's a mess. Anyway, I've got to go," he said, as there was shouting in the background. He hung up. I was stunned. Eddie didn't think I had anything to worry about anymore. Morelli didn't either, and he was a bit more in the know than Eddie was. Maybe it was all going to be okay.

We drove back to Plum Lingerie, Vince checked the place over before we went inside, and we got back to work.

My phone rang. It was the insurance company, letting me know that my car was repaired and ready to be picked up.

"Mary Lou, do you have time to drive me to pick up my car?"

"Sorry, boss, Kenny's got soccer training this afternoon."

"Oh right. I forgot you finish up early. Tomorrow?" I asked her.

"I'll drive you. Then I can follow you home afterwards, check your house, make sure it's all okay," Vince offered.

"That would be great if you could. I need to go back to Rangeman to pick up my clothes, and I need to be at my parents for dinner by 6."

I decided to stop work for the day once Mary Lou left, and Vince and I headed to the Rangeman building. We headed for the control room to find Ella. Vince said she was usually in the kitchen preparing for the dinner shift at this time. Ella was deep in food preparation, so I got permission to get Lester to let me into the apartment to collect my things.

Vince and I went looking for Lester, but he was in client meetings. Vince knocked on Ranger's office door. I guess Vince was braver than I was, if Ranger was my boss I wouldn't disturb him with a request like opening a door. Vince went into the office, there was a short discussion, then Vince and Ranger emerged.

"I'll take you up to six," Ranger said, and walked off. I hurried after and caught up to him by the elevator. We stood there in awkward silence. There was a brief awkwardly silent ride up one floor, then Ranger opened the door to the apartment, and we walked into the entryway.

"Thanks for letting me in," I said.

"I'll just wait here," he said. Geez no pressure to pack up quickly or anything. Luckily I didn't have much. I made sure that the room was straightened and neat. I wouldn't want Ella to think that I was a bad houseguest. I made a note to send her flowers. I was back out in two minutes.

"Thanks Ranger. Vince is going to take me to pick up my car, so I'll be out of your hair soon," I told him.

"I'll take you to get your car. Vince is off shift soon, and my afternoon meeting got cancelled," Ranger said.

We went downstairs to the garage and I waved goodbye at the camera in the elevator before stepping off. Ranger unlocked the Turbo, and I was happy to be reunited with it again.

"I love this car," I told him. He raised his eyebrows. "What? It's a great car!"

We drove to the insurance depot in the industrial part of Trenton to pick up my Mercedes. I checked emails on my phone and ignored the silence in the car. I was chatty, but if Ranger wanted to be silent, I'd respect that. Or at least try to.

Picking up my car went smoothly, and Ranger followed me back to my house. It was strange to be back at my house again. It had only been a few days away, but so much had happened that it felt longer.

"Hello house!" I said happily as we walked inside. Ranger quirked his eyebrows at me, and I followed him around as he did a quick run through the house.

"You know, this would work better if you didn't follow me around into the potential danger spots," he said.

"Yeah but then I couldn't watch you check behind curtains like a dad checking for monsters in his toddler's room," I kidded with him. An expression that I couldn't read flashed briefly across his face.

"You're all fine, Stephanie. The house hasn't been touched, and nothing's been seen on the cameras monitoring the house. I'm going to leave the camera monitoring on for a few days, and I want you to set the alarm before you go to bed at night, but I'm not expecting any trouble," Ranger said. I followed him back downstairs.

"I heard the Slayers have bigger issues now," I said. Ranger nodded. "Thanks for the extra help, Ranger. Make sure you bill me properly for the extra protection, okay?"

"No price, babe. Besides, we made enough out of Junkman that it more than covered all the costs. I'm just glad that you're fine."

"And thanks not being mad that I broke into your apartment and invited myself to stay."

"Just give me a heads up next time so I can make sure that I don't miss you in my bed again," Ranger said. I laughed, thinking that he was joking. He looked like he was about to smile too. Ranger had a lot of blank expressions but I was getting to know them all. Then I gasped.

"I forgot about dinner with my parents! The pot roast will be dry!"

"Babe." I guess he'd never experienced the horrors of a dry pot roast before.


	35. Chapter 35 - One year of Plum Lingerie

I was late. The pot roast was ruined. The potatoes over cooked. Saint Valerie's halo was restored and she was sitting at the table when I arrived, adorable daughters fanned out beside her. Mary Alice neighed when she saw me, but still remained in her seat.

I slid into my place at the table. My mother followed me in from letting me in the house, and frowned. "I hope it's not too dry," she said, looking at the pot roast.

"That's what gravy is for, Helen," Grandma Mazur said, rolling her eyes. My father picked up the gravy protectively.

"I'm sure it's fine, ma," Valerie said. We all passed food around and got stuck into eating. There was a little more room at the table tonight without Dickie and Morelli there. We were halfway through dinner when there was a knock on the door, and Grandma bounded off to answer it.

"That might be my date!" she said brightly. I wondered what Grandma had planned for a date. Did I want to know? The door opened, and Grandma returned to the table, followed by Joe.

"I had a break and thought I'd stop by and see everything," Joe said, coming in, kissing Val and looking around the table.

"You can sit where I was, I need to get ready for a date," Grandma said and disappeared upstairs. My mother gestured to Joe to sit down and fixed him a plate, fussing around him.

"It's good that you can take a break to eat," she said, putting a plate of food in front of him. Val reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Joe, Joe," Mary Alice chanted, trying to get his attention. He looked over at the table at her. "Joe, today at school, Anthony said that you saw a dead body. Did you see a dead body?"

"Mary Alice, Joe is a homicide detective. That means that he sees lots of dead bodies," Angie said impatiently.

"I'll talk to Anthony Junior about conversations not to have at school. Or maybe at all," Joe said, looking at Valerie. Val nodded. Anthony Junior was the son of Joe's brother Anthony. That made him kind of Mary Alice and Angie's cousin. He went to school and was in Mary Alice's class and the two of them together were trouble. Val was still negotiating the intricacies of belonging to the Morelli clan. Mostly it was don't cursed by Grandma Bella (Val nicely won her over by naming baby Bella after her) and don't upset Angie Morelli. Telling Anthony Junior not to talk to Mary Alice about homicide cases might fall under upsetting Angie Morelli by implying that Anthony Junior was less than perfect, so it fell to Joe to handle.

We finished eating, and I got up to help clear away the dishes. Joe reached over and picked up Bella from her high chair, Val got dessert ready for everyone and my father took his cake into the living room to turn on the TV. Grandma clattered down the stairs and out the front door, yelling for everyone not to wait up for her. My mother shot out after her to find out where she was going. Joe and I sat back down to eat dessert. Joe was an experienced dad by now and had no trouble juggling the baby and dessert at the same time. That was my goals for my future parenting.

"You don't talk a lot about being a cop anymore," I said to Morelli. He shrugged, and reached over for a toy to keep Bella amused.

"I work in gang crime. There's a lot of bodies and not much to talk about. It's what I'm good at but not always enjoyable."

"I'm sorry," I told him. Morelli was a bit of an ass but he had a good heart underneath it all.

"It is what it is. And I have this little one now to keep me focused on why I became a cop. I wanted to make the world safer."

"I thought it was because you thought that cops got laid a lot."

"Yeah, that too. And I didn't want to be a mechanic."

Joe's brothers were mechanics. His father was a mechanic. Anthony Junior was probably going to be a mechanic. Joe bucked the trend and joined the navy. I bucked the trend of being a housewife and became a lingerie designer. Joe and I might have worked well together if we weren't so alike, and he wasn't such an ass. Valerie seemed fine with him though. Joe had settled down a bit since his wild years. Okay, a lot.

I left with my arms loaded with leftovers, and half of a pineapple upside down cake. I pulled into the garage and went to swing into the middle when I saw that Dickie's car was on its usual side. He appeared in the doorway of the garage soon after and I ran over and hugged him.

"Hey you, I figured you'd be at dinner with your parents. I just got back," he said. He kissed me, then reached for the cake. "Is that what I think it is?"

"It is my compensation for suffering through another family dinner," I told him.

"I missed you," Dickie said, kissing me again.

"Missed me or missed easy access to cake?"

"I was staying at a resort with a dessert buffet."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Make sure you come with me next time. Dessert buffet, warm water, lots of sand, no Slayers. How are you? All sorted out?"

I thought of all that happened in the last week. Slayers, Junkman, Ranger's apartment, staying with Ella, the takedown in Plum Lingerie, Ranger's slightly flirty behaviour… well if Dickie wasn't asking, then it wasn't lying…

"Yes, it's all sorted out. Back to normal," I said brightly.

"Great! I'm so relieved. Now come on, let's put the cake down and get reacquainted," he said, pulling me inside.

* * *

The next few months passed with more of the same. Mary Lou and I were a good team, and our number of orders grew steadily. I decided to stay with the current range – Plum Blossoms, Plum Vintage and Plum Stars – for a while so we could keep a handle on our growth. We were getting a number of repeat orders, which excited me to know that my customers liked my products enough to keep coming back.

Dickie travelled a bit for work, although he was making more of an effort to be home. We went out for dinner once a week. His office seemed to be growing with more clients. We kept having to put off our beach trip because of his cases though. I was hoping we could get to the beach before the weather got too cold.

It was my birthday, then shortly after that we celebrated one year since Plum Lingerie began. Mary Lou and I, being my entire workforce, went out for dinner with Lenny and Dickie.

"To Plum Lingerie!" Mary Lou said, holding up her champagne glass. We clinked glasses.

"Did you hear the latest Burg news? Someone has bought Stiva's funeral home and is going to reopen a funeral business," she said.

"Grandma Mazur will be thrilled," I said. "That's going to increase her social circle again and get her out of mom's hair more often."

Lenny held up his champagne glass, and we did another toast, this one to Grandma Mazur staying out of my mom's way more often.

I was a few glasses of champagne down when we got home and I was singing on the car ride. I'm not sure that Dickie appreciated my musical talents well enough.

"Want to have ice cream and watch Wonder Woman?" I asked him.

"I need to start thinking about our next step," Dickie said. "While we're working on having a baby, we still need to think about what comes next in the plan."

"And what comes next?" I asked.

"I want to make my move into politics. Local at first, then up to senator. I'm working on getting local support."

"That's great. I know that's your dream," I told him. Dickie had been telling me about his plans since we first met. I wasn't too keen on being a politician's wife, but I loved Dickie and it was important to him.

"I've been thinking tonight. This whole night might me think – I have to be honest, Steph, I wasn't sure how long your business would last. And I don't think a lingerie designer is a suitable profession for a politician's wife. Can you imagine the press?" he asked me. I suddenly felt sober.

"So what have you been doing for the last year, Dickie? Waiting for me to fail?" I snapped at him.

"No… but you know, I thought we'd have a baby, and you'd realise that being a mother and having a business was too hard. But that's not happened yet, and well, we need to think about the future, Steph."

"I am thinking about the future, Dickie! That's why I've been building up my business, just like you have. Mine just happens to be different than yours but that doesn't make it any less worthy. And we'd have more luck with having a baby if you were home more often," I shouted at him. The last few months he'd been away at the key points of my cycle, saying that he needed to be away for work. That may have been true, but it meant it stung more when he brought up wanting to have a baby. He couldn't even commit to staying home for a month.

"Calm down, Stephanie," he told me.

"You know what? YOU CALM DOWN!" I said. I stormed upstairs and slammed our bedroom door. Then just in case he hadn't gotten the hint that I was mad at him, I grabbed a handful of his clothes, threw them in the hallway, then slammed the door again. That should get the point across that I didn't want to see him or speak to him. Then I cried myself to sleep. This should have been a celebratory night but Dickie had ruined it by being a complete jackass. Or a horse's butt, like my Grandpa Mazur would have said.

I was still angry about it the next morning. Okay, so lingerie designer wasn't quite up to Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton level in terms of career, but surely successful small business owner was worth something? I'd done it on my own, we made enough to cover our costs and pay Mary Lou and I an admittedly small salary.

"Dickie by name, Dick by nature," I muttered to myself.

I refused to talk to him the next day, and he left for yet another business trip without us speaking. He sent flowers while he was gone, and by the time he came home a few days later, I'd cooled off enough to speak to him, although things weren't the same between us. I couldn't believe that he'd been waiting for me to transform into a housewife when I'd put this much effort into Plum Lingerie. Then again, he was never around to see the number of hours I'd worked on it. For all he knew, I slept in, took long lunches and was home in time to watch the afternoon Soap Operas. I didn't mention the fight to Mary Lou. She would have agreed with me that Dickie was a horse's butt, but I didn't want to talk about it.


	36. Chapter 36 - Unicorn days

When is more Ranger coming? Next chapter! I'm trying to keep a few chapters ahead, plotted out and written. Thank you all for your reviews. I'm excited to see your reactions on what's coming up.

* * *

A few weeks later I'd left the house early for once and had stopped for coffee and doughnuts on the way. I presented Mary Lou with her coffee and a Boston Crème with a flourish when she walked in the door. Mary Lou gagged and ran for the bathroom.

"Mare? What's wrong, are you okay?" I asked her.

"I'm fine, Steph. I'm fine. Better than fine. I'm, uh, actually… well…"

"You're pregnant!" I squealed.

"I am!"

"Oh that's so fantastic. How far along are you? When are you due?"

"I'm only a few weeks. Not due for a long time but before the heat of summer, thankfully. And coffee and doughnuts are making me feel sick at the moment."

"I will eat all your doughnuts for you, Mare, because I am that good of a friend," I told her. Then something else occurred to me. "Wait, you're not going to quit on me like Valerie did are you?" I asked anxiously.

"No way! I'll probably have to have a few weeks off, but that's okay, we can plan ahead and I'm only a phone call away. Really. But are you okay, Steph? I know you and Dickie have been trying for a while now."

"Yeah, I'm happy for you. Really. I guess it's just not our time yet."

"Maybe you should try a paleo diet?" Mary Lou suggested. "Stacey Brennan said she tried it and she fell pregnant the next month. It's meant to get your body healthy for pregnancy. I was thinking about it, but then this happened."

"I think I'd go into a sugar shock. I'm not sure that my body would go for that," I said. "No pizza, no ice cream, no pancakes?"

"You're right, that doesn't sound like you at all," Mary Lou said, laughing.

Later that night, I found myself googling it. Maybe I could try it. Maybe I could live without pizza and doughnuts and pancakes and ice cream. And have my coffee black and without sweetener. Ugh. But I supposed when I became a mother I'd have to eat healthier anyway, so maybe I should start now.

My body could be a temple. I thought of Ranger. I was sure that he ate a paleo diet. Maybe I could ask him for advice. I hadn't seen or heard from him for a while. Lester had stopped in to Plum Lingerie a few times while he was on business in the area, but when I'd asked how Ranger was, I'd gotten a one-word answer – "Offline". I sent Ranger a text but he didn't respond. I guess he didn't do small talk about diet advice. Maybe he was busy invading a third world country. Or possibly both.

I was rushing to leave and make the 6pm family dinner time. I was going to be late again. This time I would ruin the roast chicken. Possibly the potatoes would get cold too. And the spinach soggy. Soggier. The cake would be fine. It didn't fit in with the paleo diet that I was trying to stick to but I was willing to make an exception. I locked the door behind me and turned to rush to my car, immediately colliding with someone warm and solid.

"Oof!" I said, dropping my bag.

"Babe." There was some amusement in the voice.

"Ranger!" I said, looking up. He bent down to pick my bag.

"Let me guess, 6pm dinner date with your family?"

"Yep. And I'm going to be late again."

"Then I won't hold you up. I was checking the alarm in a unit nearby and thought I'd say hi."

"I haven't seen you for a while. Is everything okay? I texted you."

"I was offline for a while but I'm back now."

"Lester told me the offline part. But not anything more," I told him. I hadn't seen much of Ranger since the Slayers issue when I'd wound up staying at Rangeman. "How is Ella?" I asked him.

"She misses you. Do you want to come for dinner one night? I'm sure she'd be happy to cook for you."

"Yes!" I said, wanting to drool at the thought of Ella's cooking. "Next week sometime? Dickie is away then and I'll be all alone."

"Next week then," he said, handing over my bag. I hugged him goodbye, then jumped in the car. If I didn't get any red lights, I could make it in time!

This was Trenton, who was I kidding, it was all red lights. Saint Valerie was on time though, and she had Joe with her for extra points. Dickie arrived five minutes after I did, and my mother assured him that it was no problem at all, of course he wasn't late, blah blah blah. That man lived a charmed life.

"Uncle Dickie, look at me!" Mary Alice said.

Mary Alice was wearing the unicorn onesie that Joe had given her for Christmas. I loved that kid. Baby Bella was dressed in unicorn print feetie pyjamas, which Mary Alice proudly showed off to us.

"We match! I'm a grown up unicorn, and Bella is a baby unicorn. She's going to be a real unicorn when she's bigger," Mary Alice told me.

"What if she doesn't want to be a unicorn?" I asked. Mary Alice looked at me like that was the stupidest question she'd ever heard.

"She will," she answered firmly, and that was that. Joe looked at me and grinned.

"At least she's not trying to fly off the garage roof," he said. Valerie nudged him. "What? It's cute. I'd forgotten that's how you broke your arm." I rolled my eyes.

"How did you break your arm?" Dickie asked.

"Trying to fly off the garage roof," I told him.

"Why did you think you could fly?" Angie asked, eyes wide.

"I was trying to be like Wonder Woman," I said.

"But Aunty Steph, Wonder Woman can't fly. She can just jump really really really really really really good," Mary Alice said.

"Really? Well that explains why I wasn't successful," I said.

"Unicorns can fly though," Mary Alice told me. I looked across the table at Valerie. Her eyes widened and I could see her trying to think of something to say before she found Mary Alice on the roof of the garage about to jump off.

"Only if they are born with wings," I told Mary Alice.

"Oh. I wasn't born with wings."

"You'll just have to get really good at jumping," I told her. She brightened.

"I could do that! We have races at school and you have to jump over things!"

"Hurdles?"

"Yeah!"

"We can practise on the weekend," Joe told her. "We'll set some hurdles up and you can practise your jumping. From the ground." Val squeezed his hand. I loved how much Joe seemed to understand Mary Alice. Valerie and Angie were alike and understood each other, but Mary Alice had always been a bit of an outsider in their little family with her quirkiness. Joe seemed to know how to channel it, like turning her from a horse into a unicorn (more on trend), or helping her to practise her jumps. I couldn't believe that I was thinking this, but I was glad that Joseph Morelli was part of my family.


	37. Chapter 37 - Dinner with Ranger

Ranger and I made plans for dinner the next week. Dickie had forgotten his "travel less, be home more" vow and was away often again. I was used to it, but I sometimes got lonely at night, so I was glad to have an invitation to dinner that wasn't from my mother. Also I would get to enjoy Ella's cooking again. I was pretty excited about that part.

* * *

I picked up a large bakery cake on my way to Rangeman, and also a doughnut. It was my second week off sugar, and I was beginning to feel some weird side effects. If Dickie was in town, I would have kept him in bed with me all day. As it was, I was wondering if I should hit up Pleasure Treasures for necessary supplies. I ate the doughnut in the car. It was a medicinal doughnut. I hoped that I could get through a dinner with Ranger without embarrassing myself or throwing myself at him.

I parked in the garage underneath as instructed, and then waved at the camera when I got into the elevator. The elevator started moving on its own and went up to the seventh floor like magic.

The door was propped open, so I went inside. Ella was there, delivering trays of food, and we chatted for a few minutes before Ranger appeared from out of his apartment office. Ella squeezed my arm and left, telling me that she was sure I would love the dinner she had prepared.

"Sorry Steph, I had to take that call," Ranger apologised.

"I bought dessert. Birthday cake. I guess Suzie didn't get her happy birthday after all," I said, holding up the cake box and opening the lid to show him. I tried not to notice how good he smelled, or that he was freshly shaven. He was dressed in what passed as casual wear for Ranger – black jeans and a black sweater. There was probably a gun tucked in there somewhere.

"That looks festive," he said. The cake had green flowers and bright yellow icing. It also had a hefty discount off the price. I got out a plastic fork and fed him a taste test. "I haven't had that much sugar in years. How do you eat that?" he asked.

Ranger got out two wine glasses, poured us both some wine, and took the covers off the food.

"This beats a peanut butter sandwich," I said, sniffing the air appreciatively. Ranger handed me a plate of food, and we ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Steph, can I ask you what's wrong? You don't seem as happy as you usually are," he said. I paused in my eating. Argh. I didn't want to talk about it but Ranger seemed genuinely concerned. I wondered if Lester had put him up to asking. It seemed more like something that nosy, people person Lester would worry over than reserved Ranger.

"Oh, it's fine, I just… argh. Anyway, it's fine."

"Are you sure? It seems like something is bothering you. Is it because of Junkman?" Ranger asked.

"Did Lester put you up to this?" I asked.

"No, Steph," he said softly.

"It's not because of Junkman. It's… I'm not a housewife, I can't cook, my business isn't suitable for my husband's political career, I can't have a baby although no one else seems to have any trouble getting pregnant, and I'm tired of everyone looking down on me."

"Heavy stuff, babe," he said, pouring me another glass of wine.

"I'm a disappointment," I said, then took a huge mouthful of wine.

"I know all about disappointing family expectations," Ranger said.

"You? You're successful. You have a business, an amazing apartment, a Porsche, and you have Ella. I wanted to be successful enough to employ Ella full time but you beat me to it," I told him.

"Well, I'd say that I'm sorry, but I'm not," he said, holding up fork of food as emphasis. I ignored him.

"You served your country, you employ Veterans, you're better-than-average looking, how could you be disappointing?" I asked.

"Only better than average? I'm crushed."

"I didn't want you to get a big head. And face it, you do have Lester to compete with."

"Like you, Stephanie, I grew up in an area where everyone knows everyone else. So everyone knows that I did a stint in juvie for stealing cars, everyone knows that I was in a gang, and everyone assumes that I joined the army because I was about to go to jail again, not because it was the easiest way to get my tuition paid off."

"You went to juvie?"

"About half of the armed forces was in juvie. Consider us pre-toughened. After I got out of juvie I was sent to live with my grandparents in Miami. I was supposed to straighten my life out, come home, and join the family business. College was acceptable with a business degree, which I did. I wasn't supposed to join the army."

"So you're a disappointment because you served your country and you're a successful businessman?"

"I'm also divorced."

Wow. I was getting all the secrets out of Ranger tonight. Remind me to ply him with alcohol and dessert more often.

"I'm sorry. How long ago was your divorce? Did you get married young?" I asked him. He seemed in a talkative mood, maybe I would find out some details about Ranger.

"We were young. I was still in basic training. It started out as a one night stand but after a month Rachel phoned me up and said that she was pregnant. We got married, for the health insurance, for the baby, for our Catholic families. And we thought maybe it would work. But I was barely there, always away for training, and starting missions, and she needed more than that. We separated when Julie was a few months old. When Julie was two, Rachel re-married, and she asked if I'd let him adopt Julie. I wasn't in a good place. I was doing dangerous missions, seeing my team die around me, and it broke my heart to think of Julie wondering where her daddy was. Giving her a new daddy seemed easier," he said.

My heart broke for Ranger, but he seemed pragmatic about it.

"I send money still, I never stopped that. I visit when I can. I try to keep up with her interests. She loves music. She asked me if I'd seen the Trolls movie, so I decided to watch it so we have something more to talk about."

"You sound like a good dad, Ranger."

He shook his head, dismissing my comment. "You're a bit too easy to talk to Stephanie. I don't tell many people about my daughter. Please don't tell anyone what I've told you tonight."

"I won't. I promise. Do you want some cake?" I asked him. He poured us both another glass of wine.

"I'm not so sure on that cake, babe. It looks more dangerous than most third world jungles that I've crawled though. I'm not sure what's in there."

"A lot of food colouring," I told him. He picked up the wine glasses and I carried the cake box and we moved to the couch. Ranger went back and got me a plate and cutlery for the cake and I cut myself a piece. It paired quite well with the wine. Ranger declined to try the combination for himself.

There was a soft black cashmere blanket draped on the back of the couch, which made me think about Ranger's black sheets in his bedroom, just a room away. The last time I was in this apartment, Ranger wasn't here. It was strange to think that I'd slept in his bed before, but this was the first time that I'd been in his apartment with him.

"What are you thinking about?" Ranger asked me.

"Your sheets," I blurted out.

"My sheets?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"They're amazing. And those towels too. And that shower."

"It sounds like you're really into my linens."

"I am. Where do you buy them from?"

"That's a secret of the trade," he said. I bet that just meant that he didn't know because Ella had bought them all for him.

"Sooooo while we're talking secrets – where's the gun?"

"Geez babe, three glasses of wine down, you really are a light weight."

"What, are you telling me that you're unarmed?" I asked him in disbelief. "What if I was a trained assassin sent to take you down?"

"Well from your lack of muscle tone, you're not a well-trained assassin," Ranger said. I felt insulted, even if it was true. "Secondly, I am armed. I'm just not telling you where." My eyes lit up. This sounded like a challenge.

"Should I pat you down and find out for myself?" I asked, trying to raise my eyebrows suggestively. Playing with Ranger was fun.

"You sure you want to do that babe?" he asked.

"Are you saying you don't want me to?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows at me which I took as a challenge. There was probably a gun in the small of his back, probably in the waistband of his underwear. I slid my hand along his back and then dipped down into his pants to find… no waistband. Then I remembered the lack of underwear from when I'd inspected his apartment. He hadn't packed it all to take with him.

"Omigod! You don't wear underwear" I said, scrambling away. Ranger laughed.

"You're playing with fire here, babe," he told me.

"I thought you wore underwear! Who doesn't wear underwear!"

"So let me get this straight, if I wore underwear it would have been totally fine for you to have your hands down my pants?"

"I was looking for your gun! I'm sure you have at least one in your pants, right?" I asked. "No, wait, what would Lester say in this situation… something about a weapon…" I picked up my plate and put another slice of cake on to it while I thought of the right lewd comment to make.

Ranger peered down at the bright yellow icing on the cake.

"That stuff will kill you, babe."

"I need some sugar. I've been on a paleo diet. No sugar. It turns out that the lack of sugar does things to my system," I said, trying not to blush. I failed and could feel my cheek reddening.

"What sort of things?" Ranger asked.

"Anyway, with Dickie away, I need some sugar to keep things under control," I finished. Ranger brightened.

"Giving information to the enemy here, babe," he said.

"You're not the enemy, are you?" I asked.

"I'm a mercenary and a bad man. I don't usually poach from men that I've met, but I'm willing to make an exception for you. I'm an opportunist, and I think you'd better go home I do something that we're both going to regret," he said, leaning close to me. An inch more and we'd be touching. I tried to lean slightly closer and ended up falling against him. I licked my lips. He pulled out his phone and dialled.

"Tank? I need someone to drive Stephanie home. Thanks."

"You'd regret it?" I asked.

"I'd regret that you'd regret it. Catholic guilt would kick in. Let's not do that." He moved away from me so we weren't touching.

A minute later we heard the elevator arrive, and with a quick knock on the door, Lester walked in.

"Lester! I'm trying to think of a dirty joke punchline. Something about a weapon and pants," I greeted him. He looked from me to Ranger.

"Apparently three glasses of wine is one too many for Stephanie," Ranger said, smiling. "But she's an adorable drunk."

"Help me out here, Lester. What's the right joke to make about Ranger and the hidden weapon in his pants?" I asked. Lester laughed.

"I'm not speculating on that one, Beautiful. Come on, let's get you home." He held out his hand and pulled me off the couch.


	38. Chapter 38 - Conspiracy theories

I woke up the next morning, slightly hungover. Lester had driven me home in my car while Woody followed in a Rangeman car. Argh. Why did I decide so many glasses of wine were a good idea?

I stumbled into the shower wishing for a strong coffee. I'd have to stop on the way to work for The Cure. Then I thought about last night and replayed the events that lead to Lester driving me home.

Oh no! I think I owed Ranger an apology. _Argh, Stephanie, why!_ I asked myself. It was the lack of sugar. And Dickie was away. And he smelled so good. And I wanted to know… oh God… what was in his pants! I couldn't believe that I'd said that to Ranger. At least I hadn't managed to think of a good suggestive one-liner to make.

I finished my shower, got dressed, applied extra mascara for confidence and set off for work. I stopped by McDonalds on the way for a large coke and hash browns. I wished they were serving fries already. Damn this grown up getting up before lunch business. Being hungover was a lot easier when I'd sleep until noon.

Mary Lou eyed me over when I got to work.

"Big night, huh? I hope you bought enough to share," she said, holding out her hand for the hash browns.

"Hash browns are okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah. This week anyway. Being pregnant is a lot like being hungover but without the fun night before. So speaking of, tell me what happened last night."

"Not much. I just got a bit carried away with the wine last night. And maybe with the cake too."

"Didn't you have dinner with Ranger last night?"

"Yes. It was delicious, and it turns out he can pick a great bottle of wine. I think I had three whole glasses."

"I'm surprised you're still standing today."

"I am, thanks to a hot shower and strong coffee."

"Anything else you want to report?" Mary Lou asked, raising her eyebrows at me.

"I'm still a cheap drunk. And I might have embarrassed myself trying to find out where he hides his gun."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Mary Lou teased me.

"Lou. Stop. I'm embarrassed enough! Geez you have a dirty mind." Mary Lou had always been boy crazy. She'd settled down with Lenny early, but that didn't stop her from looking around.

My phone rang. I checked the screen in surprise – it was Dickie. He didn't call much when he was away, and never during the day.

"Hi Steph! Great news. I'm coming home early. I'll see you tonight."

"You're on your way back early?" I asked in surprise. He wasn't due back for another two days.

"Why? Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised! That's so great. I've missed you lately."

"Well, I wouldn't want you to get lonely," he said, and hung up. What was with the men in my life and their lack of phone manners?

* * *

I was waiting for Dickie when he got home, excited to see him. I'd picked up dinner from the deli and I was filling in time by checking my emails at the kitchen table. I jumped up to see him and flung my arms around him.

"Hey Steph. That's an enthusiastic welcome. Did you miss me?"

"Yes, and I'm still off sugar," I warned him.

"I'll consider myself warned, but I need sustenance first. What's for dinner?" he asked.

"I got quiche and salad for dinner," I told him. "Not quite as good as Ella's, but better than if I'd tried to make it myself."

"How is Ella?" Dickie asked casually. "Have you heard from her lately?"

"Yes, I have. She's doing well. Did you know that she's working for Ranger?" I asked him.

"Yes, you told me that when you stayed with her."

"Oh right. Well, I saw her last night, she made me dinner," I told him. It technically wasn't lying. Ella had made me dinner. I just ate it in Ranger's apartment.

"How does she find working for Ranger? He's a bit of a loose cannon," Dickie said.

"She seems happy enough. She cooks for the on-shift workers, and I think she enjoys looking after them. She still misses her sons though," I said.

I knew that Dickie disliked Ranger, but I wasn't sure why. Then again, Ranger also seemed to dislike Dickie, so the feeling was mutual. Morelli thought that Ranger was a bit extreme, but seemed to generally like him, and he had said that Ranger had refused to bring him in when he was FTA, which gave Morelli the time he needed to clear his name.

I remembered what Ranger had said about Dickie tracking my phone. Whenever I got a random call from Dickie, I was either with Ranger or had been at Rangeman. I had dismissed Ranger's saying that Dickie was tracking where I was, but maybe there was more to it than I thought.

Did Dickie suspect that I saw Ranger last night? Was that why he came early? Surely that couldn't be it. Maybe being around Ranger was rubbing off on me and I was becoming paranoid.

I couldn't sleep and found myself up late watching television. I'd left Dickie sound asleep in bed, softly snoring. I flicked through channels and settled on _The Firm_. I vaguely remembered it – young Tom Cruise, something about a law firm. An hour later I was hooked and googling frantically. A promising young up and coming lawyer who received a too good to be true offer from a small firm who then spends a lot of time at work and then ends up spending time in the Cayman Islands because his firm helps clients with money laundering? Omigod! Check, check, check, check and maybe? I'm not sure on that last one but I hope not! I did think it was odd that Dickie travelled so much but he works such long hours when he was here that it wasn't really like it was much different.

But what if it was just like this? What if he was being blackmailed? Would he tell me? How could I find out? I went to bed but I found it hard to sleep. There were too many conspiracy theories in my head. Was Dickie tracking me? Was he working for the Trenton equivalent of The Firm? Did I just perhaps need a long vacation at the beach and a few cocktails to relax and calm down a bit? The cocktails sounded good. I needed to remind Dickie about the beach vacation that he had promised me. Maybe I could get him drunk and interrogate him about what was really going on.

* * *

Two weeks later I found myself having dinner with Ranger again. I told myself it was because I wanted Ella's cooking, but I have to admit, having a handsome and very attractive man pay attention to me was a big drawcard too, along with the hope that I might get a few more secrets out of Ranger.

"I'm worried about Dickie," I began, and explained my theory. "Do you do investigative services?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Babe, if there's an issue with Dickie, you need to talk to him."

"Even if it involves… you know… The Family?"

"Dickie doesn't work for The Family," Ranger stated.

"Aha! You do know something. Who does he work for?"

"Babe."

"Ranger."

"Babe."

"Ranger."

"Steph."

Clearly I wasn't going to win this one.

"Why do you go by Ranger? Why not Carlos?" I asked him.

"It's a street name. It's useful to have a street name," he said.

"But why Ranger? I mean, you're not the only Army Ranger at Rangeman. Doesn't it get confusing?"

"It doesn't come from that exactly," he said. I tried to raise one eyebrow at him, gave up and raised two.

"So. Story time?" I asked him. He sighed, but begun to tell me anyway.

"When Julie was little, she'd ask where daddy was. And Rachel would say, Daddy is away, he's a Ranger. I was gone for a long time, and when I came back, Julie was calling me Ranger like she thought it was my name. Lester thought it was hilarious and started calling me that too, and the name stuck."

"I thought it was because you were a super hero soldier. Like, you were THE Ranger," I told him.

"That too," he said, nearly smiling.

"I don't see you smile that often," I said.

"There's not much to smile at where I operate. I'm not exactly seeing the best of humanity here. We operate in a lot of dark places. The security work is probably the happy parts of what we do."

"Why do you do it then, if it doesn't make you happy?"

"I'm good at it. And someone has to do it. I can at least make sure there's less bad guys out on the streets."

"You're a good man, Ranger," I told him.

"I have a lot to be accountable for," he said, blank face in place, eyes dark. Ah, I see, we're back to the Dark Knight, man of misery.

"You don't scare me, Batman," I teased him, and I started singing. He'd told me that he'd watched the Trolls movie because Julie liked it, and it was one of my niece's favourites, so I'd seen it a lot lately and his brooding was reminding me of Branch. Actually given Branch's preparing for the worst and underground bunker, he and Ranger had a lot in common.

"I see your true colours shining through, I see your true colours, and that's-, " I started singing, then stopped abruptly. I wasn't sure if it was immature or not, but singing those words to Ranger, even in jest, did not seem like a good idea. He'd caught on though, so either he was a big Cyndi Lauper fan, or he had watched the Trolls movie enough to know the lyrics, because his eyes starting gleaming in the "cat playing with its prey" look and he moved closer to me.

"And that's why you what, Estephania?" he purred. I was glad that I'd managed to distract him from his dark mood, but I clearly didn't think this plan through enough.

"What about poaching from another man?" I asked him.

"Being married doesn't make you his property, Stephanie. I respect you, and I respect the boundaries you set. But if you give me an opening, I will take it."

Yikes! I was in trouble!


	39. Chapter 39 - On the same team

_Thanks for your patience. I'm up to the events of Twelve Sharp and not quite sure where to take it, so updates might be slow over the next few weeks while I work it out. Thank you for reading!_

* * *

I was in trouble. My husband might be involved with a money laundering law firm – or at the very least working for a money laundering law firm, unaware of it and about to be aware of it. I had a very attractive mercenary declaring he was respecting my boundaries, but if I gave him an opening, he was taking it. The problem here was that my boundaries might be redefined in a weak moment, especially one involving a great smelling mercenary combined with a few glasses of wine and a lack of sugar.

I wasn't sure which problem was concerning me more, actually.

I was distracted at work. My relationship with Ranger wasn't cheating exactly, but I was hiding it from Dickie. I'd arranged to have dinner with him again. It was okay to have male friends, I told myself. After all, look at Morelli – we managed to be friends without issue, and he was the first man that I'd ever slept with. Dickie was a bit weird over that though, now that I thought about it, and that was without knowing my history with Morelli. Was feeling like I needed to hide my friendship with Ranger from Dickie something that I should be concerned about? If he was a female friend, I'd feel perfectly fine scheduling a dinner in while my husband was out of town. But Ranger definitely wasn't a female friend.

"Mary Lou. When does something cross over the line into an emotional affair?" I asked her. She looked up from the computer in concern.

"Why, Steph? Are you okay?"

"It's Ranger. I'm not sure. I think I might have a crush on him. How do I know if I'm stepping over a line or not?"

"If you're asking me that question, then you're probably stepping over a line."

Damn it. That's what I had concluded too. I sighed. I'd better cancel dinner with the hot mercenary and resign myself to eating a TV dinner alone. Or worse, having dinner with my parents.

Before I could ring and make an excuse to cancel dinner, Ranger rang me.

"Steph, I have to cancel dinner. I have to go out of town."

"Is it for business?" I asked him.

"Bad business, babe. I'm not sure when I'll be back. Let Tank know if you need anything. Lester will be with me," Ranger said.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"No."

"Can I help?"

"No, but I appreciate the offer. Bye Steph," he said, and hung up. I felt a little unsettled. Ranger was often away on business, just like Dickie was, but this felt a little different. Ranger was often out of town on very little notice, but Lester didn't usually go with him. I hoped that they were okay.

Well, now I had no reason not to go to dinner with my family, I guess.

"Was that Ranger?" Mary Lou asked me.

"Yes, we were going to catch up this week but he has to go out of town."

"Steph?" Mary Lou asked. She was looking at me with concern on her face. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like this conversation. "You're asking me about emotional affairs. You seem more upset that Ranger is cancelling dinner than you do when Dickie tells you he'll be away for a week. I just… want you to think about what you're doing," she said.

"I am thinking about what I'm doing," I said defensively. "I'm catching up with a friend."

"I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong, Steph. I'm just worried that you're unhappy, you have a lot going right now, and you might to take a step back and think about what's going on in your life," Mary Lou said.

I sighed. "You actually sound a lot like Ranger right now."

"I do?"

"Yeah. He asked why I was unhappy lately and said that I hadn't seemed like myself."

Mary Lou looked over at me. "Right, I'm getting out the emergency tastykakes," she said, reading into her bottom drawer.

"You have emergency tastykakes?"

"Yes, I do. And we're going to sit down, ignore work, and you're going to tell me everything that's going. Now spill," she said.

So I did. I told her everything. It took the entire stash of tastykakes to get through the story. I told her about Dickie expecting Plum Lingerie to fail, about him calling me after I'd been to RangeMan, about my suspicions of what Dickie might be involved in, about Ranger telling me to talk to Dickie about it. I told her about Dickie's dislike of Ranger, and how I suspected that Ranger knew more about what was going on than he would tell me. And lastely, I told her about Ranger's declaration that he respected my boundaries, but would move if I gave him an opening.

"Omigod Stephanie, you had your hand down that man's pants!" Mary Lou squealed.

"I tell you that I think my husband might be involved in money laundering, but that's the part of the story that sticks in your mind?"

"Well it is a mighty fine backside. But you're right. Dickie does sound he's hiding something. But also Stephanie – he's not supportive of what you want, and if he is tracking where you go, then he doesn't trust you. That's also a really big issue."

"Do you think so?"

"Well, duh. Do you think that's how Lenny treats me? Or Joe treats Val?"

I thought about it. I suspected that Morelli wouldn't be happy about Val hanging out with Ranger, but I don't think that he'd put a tracker on her to track her movements. Or he'd at least be up front about it, with lots of yelling and hand gestures. Lenny trusted Mary Lou completely and worshipped the ground she walked on – he'd probably just ask if he could come too.

"Thanks Lou, you've given me a lot to think about," I told her.

"And I also think you need a serious talk with Dickie. If you can't trust him, you need to work it out. And get it worked out now, before a baby comes along. Because life is hard when you're running on a lack of sleep, you need to be a team and be sure that he has your back," she told me.

I sighed. Dickie and I didn't feel like a team at the moment. We barely felt like we were playing the same game. He was due home Friday night, I'd try to get up the courage to talk about it with him then.

* * *

This was my second dinner with my family this week, since I'd gone mid-week when my dinner with Ranger was cancelled and I couldn't be bothered cooking. I'd reached a new low. I'd met Dickie at home and he'd reminded me that we'd already agreed to go to dinner. Well I guess I could put off The Talk for another night then.

Plum Family dinners were always chaotic now, with the Plum-Morelli clan, Grandma telling us about her latest date, my mother wishing she could drink spirits instead of modest amounts of red wine, my father wishing we would all go home, and then there was Dickie, probably wondering why he married into this family.

Grandma was bouncing when I got to dinner.

"The new funeral home is open! Polly Maguire is going first, lucky duck, her viewing is tonight. I'm going to go along and check it all out," Grandma said. The fact that Polly Maguire had to die in order to have the first viewing at the new funeral home didn't seem to make her lucky, in my opinion, but who was I to dampen Grandma's enthusiasm. Dickie looked at me and rolled his eyes. My mother dragged us into the kitchen.

"Please go with her," she begged. "Please. I'll have a chocolate pudding waiting for you when you get back."

"Gee I don't know, I have a lot on at the moment," I said. I looked at Dickie for help. He shrugged. Disloyal husband.

"I don't really want to go to a viewing," he said.

"Frank will drive Stephanie home afterwards, you don't have to stay," my mother told him. What? He gets out of it, but I don't? I sighed. So much for being a team.

The funeral home was packed. I dropped Grandma at the door, then drove around the block trying to find a park. At one point I considered abandoning the idea and just driving back to my parents' house, but then I found a park.

I went and found Grandma inside. She was chatting to the new owners of the funeral home, and didn't look like she'd tried to prise any coffins open.

"They're both open casket!" Grandma said, as soon as I reached her side. Well that explained that, then. "This is Dave, and this is Scooter," Grandma introduced me.

"This looks like a great success, congratulations," I told them. They looked happy with the crowds.

"Thank you, we're so pleased with such a good turn out for the families," Dave said.

"Not much happens in Trenton now the mob isn't as active," Grandma said.

"Now that isn't true. Trenton is a very active place," Dave said.

"And it was on the news earlier!" said Scooter. "A little girl has been kidnapped in Florida and her biological father lives in Trenton, they think he might try and take her here."

"Florida?" I asked. Ranger had gone to Florida.

"Yes! Goodness, we'll all have to keep an eye out for them," said Dave. "The little girls name is Julie, and her father is Ricardo Carlos Manoso. They showed a photo of them, she's a cute little girl, and her father is very handsome. He was in his army uniform. It must be a custody thing."

I felt like I'd gone ice cold. Not many people knew, but that was Ranger's full legal name. And Julie was his daughter's name. Ranger and his daughter were missing.

It had taken me so long to find a carpark that Grandma was ready to leave soon after. We drove back. The pudding was nearly ready, so I excused myself to make a quick phone call while I waited.

I rang Morelli. I'd seen him earlier in the night at dinner with Val and the girls, but he didn't sound surprised to hear from me, so I guessed that he knew why I was calling.

"Joe, did you hear about Ranger?" I asked.

"I just got a call from someone on the force who saw the news. But I don't know anything officially."

"Do you think it's true?"

"I don't know. But I know that Ranger, although he's got a few screws loose, is honourable, and he wouldn't hurt a child. If he has that little girl, it's for a very good reason," Joe said.


	40. Chapter 40 - Confrontation

Sorry about the long unexpected break. I will hopefully do better from now on! I decided to go ahead and post this because if I wait to try and get it perfect, it might never happen.

* * *

There was still a few minutes to go until pudding time, so I decided to sit outside and think. I hoped that Ranger was okay, and that Julie was with him, but I didn't think that would be the case. Ranger seemed happy with Julie's parents care of her, and I couldn't see him kidnapping his own daughter. And really, the man had been on missions in third world countries, so if he did, I didn't think that he'd let anyone see it happen.

I sighed and walked inside for dessert. Grandma was happily updating mom on the funeral home while my dad sat on his arm chair watching TV and ignoring them. My mom handed me a bowl of chocolate pudding with ice cream.

My dad drove me home after dessert. My mom probably would have except she didn't like to leave dad and Grandma in the house alone together. Dad probably wouldn't do anything, but just like getting rid of dad's gun after Grandma moved in, it was just better not to risk such things.

Dickie was on the phone in his home office when I got home. He waved to me, then made a signal that he was going to be a while. I sighed. I guessed our talk wasn't going to happen tonight.

I took a long shower and fell asleep worrying about Ranger and Julie.

The next morning I woke up alone. I couldn't find Dickie downstairs. I checked my phone and there was a message that he'd had to go into the office. He'd just gotten home! Was he avoiding me? I tidied the living room and put on a load of washing. Next I stacked the dishwasher.

This was no way to have a weekend. I suddenly got tired of waiting for Dickie and decided to go and track him down. I picked up lunch from the deli on the way and decided to surprise him.

I parked outside Dickie's building and headed towards the front door when I suddenly stopped. Was that a ratty head of red hair that I'd just seen disappearing around the corner heading away from the building? That couldn't be Joyce, could it? I took a few steps towards her but she'd disappeared and I couldn't be sure. I couldn't smell sulfur though so it probably wasn't Joyce.

I stepped into Dickie's building, and went up to his floor. I thought that I'd surprise him but his office door was open and he had a view of the hallway.

"Good morning Dickie," I called out to him.

"Hey Steph," he said, walking over to me. "This is a nice surprise visit."

"You don't look surprised to see me," I accused him.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, a look of innocence on his face. Nice try, Dickie, I've seen you practise that look in the mirror. I decided to come out with it.

"Are you tracking me using my phone?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you tracking me using my phone?" I asked again, feeling slightly ridiculous.

"Stephanie, what are you trying to accuse me of?" Dickie asked.

"Whenever you're away, you don't ring or call often. And whenever you do, it's always been when I've been at Rangeman. In fact, you only call when I've been at Rangeman. Even when you were away while Junkman was after me. You only called when I was at Rangeman."

"You think I – what? That I track your movements and call to check up on you? That's ridiculous. And how much time are you spending at Rangeman, Stephanie?" he asked. I opened my mouth to defend myself, then realised what I was going to do.

"Why are you hiding out in your office? I thought we were going to spend time together today," I said, changing the subject.

"We will, Steph. I just had some things to do in at the office first. I got up really early to get it out of the way so I'd have the afternoon free with you. I'm just about to finish up. Let's have lunch, then do something. Let's drive to the shore for the afternoon," Dickie said, taking my hand.

"Well…" I was still a bit mad at him.

"Come on, Steph. You love the shore. We can have hot dogs for dinner."

That won me over. We ate hot dogs, played arcade games, and walked on the sand. I almost forgot that I was annoyed at Dickie.

* * *

Monday morning came and I was running late for work. Although I was my own boss and Mary Lou didn't come in Mondays, so I wasn't really late. It didn't count anyway.

There was a woman standing outside the door of Plum Lingerie. She was younger than me, with curly brown hair.

"Stephanie Plum? You're the woman sleeping with my husband. He told me he was out of town all the time on business trips but he was actually here with you."

My heart plummeted. What had Dickie been up to on all those business trips? Was he leaving a double life? What signs had I missed?

"God damn it, Dickie!" I cursed.

"Dickie? Who's that?"

"Dickie Orr. My husband."

"I'm not talking about Dickie Orr! I'm talking about Ranger Manoso!"

I was suddenly confused.

"I'm not sleeping with Ranger."

"I asked around Stark Street. They all said that Ranger Manoso's woman is Stephanie Plum. But you're not his woman, I am!"

"That's not true. Ranger lent me his car once, and that's how that rumour got started."

Carmen squinted at me. "Because he lent you a car?"

"Yeah, I know. Dumb, hey?"

"What kind of car?" she asked.

"Is that really relevant?"

"But you've slept in his apartment."

"Yeah but he wasn't there. I had to use it as a safehouse when I had a slight gang related issue and Rangeman was providing my protection. Ranger and I have a professional relationship, not a personal one," I told her, crossing my fingers behind my back.

"I woke up on Tuesday morning and Ranger had cleared out. Emptied the bank accounts, taken his clothes, left me with nothing. I'm trying to track him down," Carmen told me. I frowned. That didn't sound like the Ranger that I knew.

"I don't know where he is. Like I said, Rangeman is my security company, Ranger and I don't have a personal relationship. Sorry," I told her. She huffed and got back into her car, but didn't drive away. I unlocked the door and went inside my office.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought about that not sounding like Ranger. I tried calling Ranger but he didn't answer. That might have been awkward anyway asking him if he had a wife that I didn't know about. I remembered what Ranger had said about calling Tank if I needed help and sighed. Time to call Tank. I called Rangeman and had to leave a message for Tank. I filled in some time by turning on my computer and drinking my coffee. When my phone rang I wsa so jumpy that I nearly spilled my coffee.

"Ms Plum, how can I help?"

"Oh hi Tank. Um. I have kind of a weird question – is Ranger married?" There was silence on the other end of the line. Apparently Tank didn't know what to think of this question. "Because there's a woman outside my office who is claiming to be married to Ranger and thinks that I'd know where he is."

More silence. Well, this was a good phone conversation.

"She looks quite young, early twenties," I told Tank.

"Is she still there?"

"Yes."

"I'm sending Vince and Bobby. Don't approach her, she could be dangerous."

Tank hung up the phone without waiting for a response.


	41. Chapter 41 - The wrong Ranger

Thank you all for reading. Sorry for the unexpected break. It has been slower because I started a new job (yay!) but that means I have less time for writing. Thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

I looked out the front window. Carmen was still in her car. I waited for Vince and Bobby. They arrived a few minutes later, knocked on the car window, chatted to Carmen, she pulled a gun on them, they nodded and left in their car.

My phone rang. "We're coming around the back," Bobby said, then hung up. There was a knock on my back office later a few minutes later.

"We didn't want her to have a definite link between you and us," Bobby explained as he and Vince walked in. I gestured to the box of doughnuts I'd bought earlier that morning and Vince picked one up.

"What's the story?" I asked.

"She claims she's married to Ranger. She has ID that shows her as Carmen Manoso. She also has a gun although she doesn't seem that confident in its use," Vince said.

"Ranger doesn't have a wife and I've never heard of Carmen before. I'd ask Silvio our research guy to look into her, but he's busy helping to find Julie," Bobby told me.

"Can anyone else work the programs?"

"Yeah, we're just all busy and working extra. I'll have a look later," Vince said.

I nodded, but I was thinking. I knew someone with access to similar computer programs. Vinnie. After Vince and Bobby had left and my courier pick-up had been, I decided it was time for a lunch break. I waved to Carmen on my way to Pino's to pick up my lunch.

Carmen didn't wave back but she turned her car on and watched me. She followed me to Pino's and parked near my car in the lot while I got out. I guess she thought that she was going to follow me to find Ranger. Whatever. I picked up my sub, waved to the cops eating their lunches, and headed for Vincent Plum Bail Bonds.

I pulled up out the front and picked up my sandwiches. Carmen pulled up behind me. I walked inside and waved to Connie.

"Hey Connie. Is Vinnie in?"

"Yeah, he's on the phone to his bookie. Apparently he has a hot tip coming up. Did you want to wait around and talk to him? He'll be about five minutes."

"It was actually you I wanted to talk to," I told her. I held up the Pino's bag. "I brought a bribe with me."

"Meatball sub, extra sauce?"

"Of course. What kind of Italian do you take me for?" I asked.

"What do you need?" Connie asked, gesturing for the sandwich.

"I need you to do a search on Carmen Manoso and let me know what you find out," I told her.

"Carmen Manoso? Is she related to Ranger?"

"She says she's his wife. She's also following me and she's outside," I said, gesturing to the car behind mine.

"Ranger got married? He could have married me if I knew he was looking. That man is fine," Connie said, fanning herself.

"That's the thing. Tank says that Ranger isn't married. But Carmen says he is and she has the last name to match up. So I'm trying to find out what's going on," I said.

"And you need to know this why?" Connie asked.

"Because I'm nosy," I answered.

"I hear that," she said. She clicked away on the computer and typed a few things in. "I run a search on Ranger whenever I'm bored and want to try out my search skills but never come up with anything. Carmen might be different though. The search will take a few minutes, so take a seat."

We ate our subs and ran through neighbourhood gossip while we waited. Connie had gone to school with my older sister Val and I'd gone to school with her younger sister Tina, so we knew lots of people in common. Connie was interested in how Val had tamed the Italian Stallion Joe Morelli. I think it was more that Joe was ready to settle down and the timing happened to be right.

Connie cursed under her breath and I looked over.

"Prepare to smell sulfur, the anti-Christ is coming," she warned me. Uh oh. Joyce Barnhardt walked in dressed in leather. I ducked down to hide underneath Connie's desk.

"These files are chump change. I need something decent," Joyce sneered at Connie.

"Talk to the boss, he allocates, not me," Connie said, pointing into Vinnie's office. Joyce opened the door and started yelling at Vinnie. Vinnie yelled back, and then stormed out.

"Give her something worth more," he told me. Then told Joyce, "You owe me." I shuddered to think what she would owe him.

Connie reached into the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet. "Lonnie Dodd. He robbed a bank. He's also a mean drunk. Have fun," she said, handing it to Joyce. Joyce stormed out, Vinnie went back into his office, and Connie's computer beeped.

"Search is finished," she said, looking under her desk at me.

"Thanks. I really hate Joyce."

"Me too. But sadly she's the best bounty hunter that we've got with Ranger out of commission. Tank is sending men over to help when he can, but that's not much. So… search results don't tell us much. Carmen Manoso. Twenty-two years old. Originally from Virginia. Married to Ricardo Carlos Manoso. But when I do a search on him, the birth date is wrong."

"What's that mean?"

"I'm guess he's not our Ranger. And I'm guessing Carmen showing up and saying she's married to Ranger who isn't our Ranger is somehow related to Ranger's daughter disappearing," Connie said. I had the same feeling. One of the Rangers kidnapped Julie, and I had a bad feeling that it was the wrong one.

I rang Tank on my way home, and filled him in on what Connie and I had discovered. He didn't seem surprised. Carmen followed me. As I closed my garage door I could see her parking across the street from my house. She was a bit creepy but I hoped that she was okay. Maybe she'd get bored and leave and go to where ever she was staying.

* * *

When I left for work the next morning, Carmen wasn't there. Either she'd moved on, or she wasn't an early riser. I stopped for doughnuts on the way. Mary Lou was coming in today and we liked to have doughnuts with our morning coffee and catch up on the local gossip.

I unlocked the office door and managed to juggle the door open without dropping my handbag, coffee or the bakery bag. I could have made two trips but I pride myself on taking a minimum amount of trips from the car.

I gasped when I saw someone inside my office, then saw that it was Ranger. He was dressed in jeans, and a pale blue pullover. I'd never seen him in anything other than black before. No wonder I didn't recognise him at first.

"You scared me half to death!" I accused him.

"Coffee?" he asked, holding out a cup.

"No, but-"

"Bagels?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I needed to use a computer."

"And there's no computers at Rangeman?"

"Rangeman is surrounded by cops, feds and bounty hunters. I can't go to Rangeman right now."

I looked around the office. It looked neat and untouched except for the coffee and bagels. Ranger didn't look like he'd been there for too long.

"Where are you sleeping?" I asked him.

"I have a safe house north of Trenton. I can stay there, but there's no computer, and I had to ditch my phone. Hector is bringing me new equipment later, then I can be out of your hair," he said.

"No, Ranger, it's okay. Stay as long as you need to. I was just surprised to see you," I told him.

"Will Mary Lou be in later?"

"Yeah, closer to nine, she drops the boys off first," I told him, then I remembered Carmen. "Ranger! There was someone here yesterday who said she was married to you."

"Carmen?"

"Yes," I said, feeling a bit put out. Ranger already knew about Carmen?

"Tank filled me in last night. Good detective work, babe," he told me. He really was a mind reader. "And before you ask, no, I'm not married to Carmen. I think the guy who took Julie is."

"Let me know if there's anything else that I can do. I'm sorry about Julie, I hope that you find her soon."

"I might need you to do some investigative work for me. People will talk to you easier than they'll talk to me," he said.

"Whatever you need," I told him.

"Thanks babe. I'll buy you dinner once this is over," he told me.

I hesitated. "Dickie doesn't think it's appropriate for me to be having dinner alone with another man. This situation may count too."

"I don't have time for Dickie's issues right now. But if you're uncomfortable with me being here, I'll leave."

"No, no, it's fine. He's just old fashioned."

"I don't have time for this right now. When this is over, we need to have a talk."

"That sounds ominous."

"Babe," he said, and left.

What the heck was that supposed to mean?


	42. Chapter 42 - Mrs Manny

Ranger left as I stewed over his comment. What did he mean by we needed to have a talk? About what? Ranger? Dickie? His situation?

Ranger had let himself out the front door and was headed towards a light green sedan (now that completely killed the Batman image) when a dark car pulled into the parking lot, cut him off, and someone jumped out and started yelling at him. Carmen. I could see her look as he turned to her and then stop yelling, mouth open.

Wrong Ranger.

He reached out a hand to her and I could sense that he was talking soothingly but I had no idea what he was saying. Carmen shook her head. No. She wasn't accepting that there was two Rangers and she was probably with the wrong one. Ranger reached out his hand and she shook her head very firmly.

I was wondering if I should intervene when Ranger got out his phone and spoke briefly. He gestured briefly to Carmen and she nodded and got back into the car. Ranger walked around it, got into the sedan and left. Carmen stayed parked in the middle of the parking lot until three minutes later a black SUV pulled up beside her, Lester and Bobby got out, Carmen got into the SUV with Lester and Bobby got into her vehicle and they all drove off together.

Well that was an eventful five minutes. If only I'd had some popcorn handy.

I went to get a Tastykake out of my desk. I knew that I'd left one in there but I had to rummage hard to find it. While I was searching for it, I came across the panic button that Hector had put in there when we were luring in Junkman. Huh. I thought that he'd gotten all of his equipment. I gave up on the Tastykake and went out on a doughnut run instead. I'd stock up on Tastykakes later.

I'd just gotten back with the doughnuts and started working when Mary Lou arrived.

Once we'd run through the morning gossip she'd acquired while on the school run, Hector arrived and dropped off equipment for Ranger. He came in with a laptop, printer, and two mobile phones and set them up in the back office. I showed him the panic button that I'd found in the drawer earlier that day and he nodded and put it back in the drawer.

What the heck was I supposed to do with that? Maybe Ranger would be back to get all his stuff later on.

Well, time to start work for the day.

* * *

I'd just gotten home and poured a glass of wine when my phone rang. It was a number that I didn't recognise so I answered cautiously but I knew the voice straight away. Ranger. And he sounded worried.

"Stephanie. I need your help. There's been a shooting at the Bonds office and Manny's hurt. They're taking him to St Francis but it's teeming with cops."

"What happened?" I asked, jumping up and grabbing my car keys.

"I don't know. I need you to find out for me."

"Okay. I'll call you when I can," I told him. I pulled up in the carpark outside St Francis and made my way to emergency. The waiting room was over flowing. At this time of night there were kids with sporting injuries from after school practice, worried looking moms, men with workplace injuries and a few oldies who were probably there for entertainment. I saw Sarah Silverman who I went to high school with behind the intake desk and waved to her as I slid past on my way to search for Manny.

Once behind the desk, I was stopped by another nurse, was luckily my cousin Brenda.

"Steph! How's it going?"

"Great!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Ah right. A friend of mine just came on in, Manny… something. Manny with a probable gunshot wound."

"Well you know I can't give our any information on any of our patients," she said, nodding with her head towards a curtained off area at the back. "Not unless you're a relative."

"Well I am here to see my husband. My husband Manny."

"Right this way then," Brenda said, leading me towards the back. She opened the curtain and then gestured for me to walk in.

"Congratulations Mrs Manual Ramos," she said. I looked at Manny. He was lying on the bed, his leg was wrapped up bandages and he was looking a combination of dazed and relaxed.

"Your last name is Ramos?"

"Yes."

"As in…"

"He's my uncle."

"Well he offered to make me Mrs Ramos, so I guess this is kind of fitting," I said. "I thought you were Italian."

"Half-Italian, half-greek. Ms Plum, no offense, but what are you doing here?"

"They wouldn't let anyone from Rangeman back here, so I had to sneak through. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I got shot."

Okay maybe not the best question there, Stephanie. Let's start again.

"Do you know who shot you?" I asked him.

"He looked exactly like Ranger. But he wasn't Ranger. It was so weird. Maybe it's these pain meds that they're giving me. But it was freaky," Manny told me. I squeezed his hand.

"Okay, Steph, you're going to have to wrap it up," Brenda said. She was acting as look out. "He's not going to be able to talk to you in a minute anyway, his meds are kicking in."

"You need to find this guy, Steph. Something about his eyes were so weird. He just stared me down and then shot me. Tell Ranger, okay?" Manny said.

"I will. Take care, Manny. I'll visit you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay wifey," he said, drifting off to sleep.

The waiting room was filled with men in black when I walked back out. Bobby grabbed me.

"How is he? What was his condition? I haven't been able to get hold of his doctor and they won't let me go back there yet."

"He was pretty drugged up. Looks like he was shot in the leg. I didn't see his doctor but it sounded like they were getting him ready for surgery. My cousin let me back there but wouldn't tell me any details," I told him.

"Thanks Steph. I'm going to wait here. Lester, can you walk Steph to her car?" Bobby asked. Lester nodded and stood up. I thought about protesting that I could walk myself out, but also wanted to see if I could get information out of Lester.

"Is Carmen okay?" I asked him.

"She's okay. She's at Rangeman. She's pretty confused. We think her husband is that one that shot Manny. He broke into the Bonds office and set off the alarms. It looks like he took some files too. Carmen said that he was a bounty hunter, had his own office and everything. He disappeared one morning and she came to Trenton because he told her that's where Rangeman was based."

"So he really was pretending to be Ranger? That's so weird."

"Yeah. We're sure he's the one who took Julie. And shot Manny. We need to find him so we can rescue Julie."

"She must be so scared," I said. Julie was around the same age as my niece Angie, and I'd hate to think of Angie being taken by someone, scared and alone. Julie had been missing for days now. Her mother must be so worried.

"She's a tough kid. She's more like her dad than he'll admit. But we need to find her soon. Rachel can't take much more, she needs to know that she's safe," Lester said.

"Let me know if I can help," I told him.

"Thanks Steph. And thanks for coming in tonight. Have a good trip home," Lester said. I got into my car and drove off.

I was stopped at a traffic light halfway home when the car door opened and a man climbed in. I yelped.

"Weren't you supposed to work on that situational awareness?" he asked me.

"Jesus, Ranger, you scared the life out of me," I said.

"How's Manny?"

"Way more relaxed than me at the moment," I told him. The light turned green and I started driving.

"Stephanie," Ranger said with an edge to his voice. I glanced over. Rachel wasn't the only one who needed to know that Julie was safe. Ranger looked like he was about to quietly explode.

"He said he responded to a break in at the Bonds office. Someone who looked like you came up to the window as he was checking it out, and shot him. He said it was freaky because he looked exactly like you but he wasn't you."

Ranger clenched his fists.

"Manny was on heavy pain killers. He didn't know anything else. I said that I'd visit him tomorrow," I told Ranger. He nodded.

"Thanks. Pull over."

"Do you want me to drop you anywhere?"

"Here," he said. I pulled over and he got out and disappeared, like mist. I wanted him to teach me how to do that. It would be handy the next time my mother was nagging me. I'd just disappear into the furniture, taking my plate of meatloaf with me.

* * *

I'd spent so long at the hospital that Dickie was already home when I got back.

"Where were you?" Dickie asked.

"Visiting a sick friend at the hospital," I said.

"Oh anyone I know?" he asked.

"No, just an old friend from the Burg. And I saw my cousin Brenda while I was there. Oh and Sarah Silverman, you remember her, she's married to Simon Silverman who Valerie and Joe went to school with, and her daughter Stella goes to school with Mary Alice. I always thought that was weird because they all have S names," I said to Dickie. His eyes glazed over and he turned back to the TV.

Mission accomplished. Ranger wasn't the only sneaky one.


	43. Chapter 43 - Head in the sand

When I unlocked my office door the next morning, I could smell coffee.

"You're late," Ranger called from my office.

"I set my own hours, it's not possible for me to be late," I called back. I stuck my head into the back office. Ranger had all his gear set up. "You look settled in."

"I had to move in temporarily. We needed the safe house for someone else," Ranger told me. I looked around the office. There was a sleeping bag under the desk but it looked untouched except for that.

"I guess you travel light," I said to him.

"Years of army training," he said.

"How is it all going?"

"Not great. Carmen gave us a few leads that we're following up."

"Have the police found anything?"

"No. And no one's seen Julie. But I know this guy has her. And I know he's out there. We thought that he was still in Florida but then he shot Manny, and it must be the same guy. We've had men following around Carmen as she travels around town and she picks up a tail. I can feel him but then he disappears. He's got good instincts. I'm seen a car following me sometimes while I'm driving around and I'm sure that it's him but then he slips away."

"Do you need any help?"

"Not with this. But can you check on Manny for me? I usually visit my men but I don't want to get arrested if I go to the hospital."

"Yeah, I'll call Lester and check when a good time to visit would be."

"Lester's out today. He's following up on something out of town. We're trying to find out more about this guy."

"Oh okay. I'll try Bobby then," I said, sending off a text message.

I checked our emails and started printing out orders to prepare for that day's shipments. Mary Lou wouldn't be in today, so I was making sure that essential work got done.

"What time does Mary Lou get in?"

"She has today off. Why?"

"Just wondering what time I needed to leave by. Are you sure that you should be here on your own?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"There's some crazies out there."

"Well luckily they're after you, not me, so when you're not here, I'm not in danger, right?"

"You're not in danger when I am here, Steph. I wouldn't let anything happen to you," he told me softly. The look he was giving me reminded me of that talk we were meant to be having once this was all over. His phone rang. "Report," he barked into the phone. I decided to continue with my sticking my head in the sand actions, and busied myself in my work.

I went to visit Manny and bring him a meatball sub for lunch. It was widely known that the food at the hospital was awful.

"Hey wifey," he greeted me.

"Hi Manny. I brought you lunch," I said, handing it over.

"You're such a good wife, your husband is a lucky man," he told me.

"Thanks. He's not a fan of meatball subs though, so he wouldn't appreciate this as much as you," I told him.

"Not Italian?" Manny asked me, raising his eyebrows.

"Don't get started. I've heard enough from my father's family. Although my father married a Hungarian, so what did they expect? I'm only half-Italian."

"Me too. But I get Italian and Greek food made for me, best of both worlds," Manny told me, adjusting his bed so he could sit up and eat.

"How's your leg?" I asked him.

"Eh. It's okay. I should be out of here later today. I'll be in the office for a while but at least I can get back to helping find Julie and this crazy guy."

"Any updates?"

"None. It's like they both just vanished," Manny told me. "Tank was in to see me just before and gave me the update. I can't believe I just let this guy get away. I should have stopped him."

"How? He shot you!"

"I could have shot him back but I was afraid that if I killed him, we'd never find Julie. And he looked just like Ranger! It was like being by the boss. Too weird," Manny said. By his rambling, I was guessing that Manny still had access to some pain relief.

"Is someone coming to pick you up later, or do you need a ride?" I asked him.

"Aw thanks wifey. But Bobby's coming to pick me up. He acts as our medic, so he gets to do the hospital pick-ups."

"Do you get shot a lot?" I asked.

"Eh. Define a lot. More than in the FBI, less than the local police. Occupational risk. Mostly it goes into the vests so it's fine. This one went a bit low," Manny said, gesturing to his leg. He finished his sandwich and looked over at me hopefully. "Any chips hiding in that bag? Bobby goes easy on the fitness and medicals after you get shot, so this is my chance to eat contraband."

Remind me to never work for Ranger if junk food is off the menu.

I stopped in to see my sister on the way home and to have a cuddle with baby Bella. Joe was home, eating lunch. He looked relaxed. Crime rates must be low at the moment. Val offered to make me lunch too and settled for making me a cup of coffee with a slice of cake on the side. A Burg housewife must be prepared to have guests at all times.

"The Junkman trial will be coming up soon," Joe told me.

"Argh. Do I have to testify?"

"Yes, Steph. You will."

"Can't he just plead guilty?"

"He's in a gang, they're rarely as cooperative as we want them to be," Morelli told me. "Anyway someone from the Prosecutor's Office will go over all this with you. So don't worry about it, okay?"

"Right. Testifying against a gang member. Who is as an assassin for hire. Nothing to worry about at all," I told him. My mother would be why me-ing all over the place.

I chickened out of going back to work in case Ranger was still there and decided to head home early instead. A few loads of washing and a Netflix marathon later, I decided to order in food for dinner. I put in my order and then decided to have a shower while I waited.

I sang in the shower as I got ready, admiring my vocals. Maybe I could have been a Rockstar instead of a lingerie designer. Maybe my next line should be inspired by rock stars, female of course. I giggled at the thought of a new line of Madonna style cone bras.

I blow dried and styled my hair and then got dressed in jeans and a hoodie. Maybe styling my hair was overkill for a night at home, but Dickie would be home soon and I wanted to look nice.

I headed downstairs and heard a noise. My phone was ringing. It was Ranger. Was he calling to see if he could stay another night at Plum Lingerie?

"Hello?" I answered, then heard a knock at the door. Food delivery! "Ranger, hold on, there's someone at the door," I told him, walking over and opening it up.

"Stephanie, don't-" Ranger was saying.

I blinked in confusion. It looked like Ranger standing in front of me, but he wasn't holding a phone. Then the illusion broke – it wasn't Ranger, but it was someone who looked very much like Ranger. He was slightly shorter, slightly heavier, and not quite as good looking as Ranger, but similar enough that it had fooled me for a second.

I turned to run back inside and slam the door, but it was too late. I felt a _zzzzzzt_ and then nothing.


	44. Chapter 44 - day with Scrog

Argh. My head felt awful. What had happened? I remembered opening the door, thinking it was Ranger and - oh no. I opened my eyes in panic.

A girl sat on the bed next to me. I blinked, trying to get everything into focus. She had dark brown hair, brown eyes and looked like a mini Ranger. We were in a mobile home. I couldn't see out the window, so I didn't know what time it was, but my stomach said it was morning.

"Julie?" I asked her.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Stephanie. I'm a friend of your dad's," I told her. Her eyes lit up for a second, then she looked at the floor.

"I'm glad that you could come here and join me and my dad," she said. I was confused for a few seconds and stared at her in puzzlement. Then it clicked. The Other Ranger must be making her call him dad.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Oh yeah. My dad has been looking after me. Although I'd really like some fruit to eat. Dad mostly gets food from convenience stores and they don't have much fruit," she said, then whispered to me, "His name is Edward Scrog. He makes me call him dad."

I put my hand out to her and squeezed her hand. Then I noticed that she was chained at her ankle and tethered to a ring in the middle of the floor. I looked down.

"I can reach the bathroom," she told me. "He did that after I kicked him real hard and tried to run for it."

Yep definitely Ranger's daughter.

"Good morning my princesses," a voice called, and the door opened. Scrog stood there with candy bars in his hands. "It's breakfast time."

Now I'm a big fan of chocolate but I wasn't sure that I could stomach a candy bar first thing in the morning after a big night of being tasters, kidnaped and given my enormous headache, possibly drugged too.

He handed me a bottle of water that I took hesitantly, wondering if it was drugged. Julie took hers and started drinking, so I guessed it was okay. I took a big swig to try to rinse my mouth out. Ugh.

"You don't dress like a lingerie designer," Scrog said to me. I flicked down at what I was wearing. Jeans, shirt, hoody since I'd been taken at night time and I was cold.

"How should a lingerie designer dress? Lingerie goes underneath your clothes," I told him.

"I thought you'd be wearing sexier panties," he said, and the implications of what he'd said dawned on me. "I had to make sure you weren't wearing a wire or any trackers," he said.

Ew. Gross. Now I was no longer afraid. I was angry. This creep had kidnapped Ranger's daughter, impersonated Ranger, made him wanted with the police, kidnapped me, and then had a good look at my underwear. Luckily I was a Jersey woman, and dealing with creeps makes us productively angry.

"Well my lingerie designer clothes aren't practical when I do my second job of bounty hunting. These are my bounty hunting clothes," I told him.

"They don't look like bounty hunting clothes. Ranger – I mean I – like wearing all black for bounty hunting. Those are just normal clothes."

"These are disguise clothes. I sneak right up to people since they don't realise I'm a bounty hunter," I said.

"I know all about sneaking and disguises. I'm good at that. I dressed up as a woman and got right up close to Ranger and he didn't even realise that I was there. I could have shot him right then but I needed to get you first to make our family whole," Scrog told me. It was official. This guy was a loony.

"Our family?"

"Of course. Everyone in the know says that Ranger Manoso's woman is Stephanie Plum. He doesn't let anyone else drive his cars. I'm Carlos Manoso, and now I have you."

Remind me to have a very pointed talk with Ranger once I got out of this pickle.

"Anyway, I don't think that you know much about being a bounty hunter," he told me.

"Of course I know about bounty hunting. It's called Plum Bail Bonds, isn't it? It's a family business. I was raised bounty hunting," I bluffed. Scrog looked doubtful.

"I thought you were a lingerie maker," he said.

"That's my day job. But my real love is bounty hunting," I told him.

"Well that's even better, because then we can be bounty hunters together once we get to Mexico," Scrog said. Mexico. Huh.

"Mexico's a long way away. How are we getting there?"

"We're going to drive. I'll rob convenience stores for money along the way," Scrog said.

"Huh. That sounds risky. You know what, why don't we get our bounty hunting career happening early? I was in the Bonds office the other day and I heard of a big bond going. Lonnie Dodds. He's worth a lot!"

"Nice try," Scrog said. "You think I'm what, going to walk into a police station to collect the bond? Or let you do it alone? I'm not stupid."

Oh. Right. I'd assumed he was, no one who was bright would kidnap Ranger's daughter.

"Oh. Right. I hadn't thought of that. I'm not used to being a fugitive on the run. Ooh I know! Lonnie Dodds robbed a bank and took all the cash. We could rob him!"

This plan was sounding better. Probably Lonnie Dodds would shoot Scrog for trying to rob him.

"Do you know where he lives?" Scrog asked.

"No. But Joyce Barnhart does. I hate Joyce."

"We're not getting anybody else involved. This is a family matter," Scrog told me. "I'll just stick to convenience stores. I'll have the money soon."

Ugh. I did not want to go to Mexico. And I thought of poor Rachel, not knowing if Julie was safe. And of Ranger. He had been calling to warn me, I now realised. He would be blaming himself. I had to get us out of here. If we went out in public we at least had a chance of being spotted. Scrog was too good at disguises, even Ranger couldn't spot him. But Julie and I would be harder to disguise.

I had a headache.

"Do you have any coffee?" I asked Scrog.

"No."

"Doughnuts?"

"No."

I sighed.

I wondered how Carmen put up with Scrog. He was annoying and had no idea what a woman on the edge needed.

Carmen always seemed a little out there herself though. Which gave me an idea on how to approach Scrog. He was used to Carmen. She looked enough like me that it was possible that was the reason he had picked her. Damn Ranger for lending me his car. Although I guess it meant I now had an opportunity to rescue Julie. Which I was trying hard not to screw up.

Focus, Steph. Shake off the headache and get a plan. Step one - get out of here, into public. Then work out step two.

I sighed again.

"What? I'll get coffee later when I go out to another convenience store. Geez."

"No it's not that," I told him. "It's just..."

"What?"

"Well I didn't want to bring it up before because I thought you wouldn't like the idea of being a kept man," I told Scrog. "I keep money in the safe at work. I don't trust banks. My cousin Marilyn works in a bank and boy, the stories that she'd tell me. Also a bank manager at local branch was involved in a money stealing scheme that lead to the death of my Uncle Fred. You can't trust banks. No one can," I babbled.

"What are you saying?" Scrog said.

"All my company's money is sitting in the safe at work," I told him. It was true enough. There was a safe. There was money in it. And since all profits were reinvested back into the company or went towards paying Mary Lou and I a small wage, that $500 in the safe that we used as petty cash money was pretty much all the company money. I'd have to think of something else when we got there.

"Also there's a coffee machine at work so we can make decent coffee," I finished off with. My head hurt. I couldn't think. I was hungry. I needed coffee. And I needed Scrog out of my life.

And if I was going to Mexico, it would be to sit on a beach and relax at a resort, not to start a new life with the Ranger wannabe.

Scrog shut the door and locked it behind him. I guess he was having a think. I ate my candy bar and drank my water. Julie drank her water. We didn't talk but I tried to convey confidence to her. Stay strong Julie, your real dad is on his way and he is pissed that someone took you. I suspected that Liam Neeson has nothing on Ranger. I'd feel sorry for Scrog except for the whole impersonating Ranger, kidnapping a child, and then kidnapping me business. Scrog deserved what was coming to him.

Half an hour later, Scrog opened the door. He was dressed as a woman, wearing a wig and looked pretty darn good. His make up was perfect. I was envious over his eye liner. If he wasn't so crazy and hadn't kidnaped me I would have asked him for a lesson.

Scrog took Julie and I outside. From the light it was still early morning.

"Get in the trunk," he said.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked. He gestured with the gun towards the trunk of the car.

"You're going to put our own wife and kid in the trunk? For real? What kind of husband and father are you?" I said, letting my voice rise. "First you stun me, then there's no breakfast, and no coffee, and now you want me to get in the freaking trunk? What are you going to do, keep me in there all the way into Mexico? I don't think so. I'm not getting in the freaking trunk!" I yelled at him.

Julie, the mini-Ranger, raised her eyebrows slightly at that. It seemed she was impressed with my tantrum having. She'd probably never even had a tantrum in her life. I could see her in kindergarten, bemused at the other children's lack of control over their emotions.

"Fine. Get in the car. But if you make a run for it or try to attract attention, I'll shoot the kid in the head."

"You'd do that to your own daughter?"

"You want to test me?"

I didn't so I got quietly in the car and stayed quiet the whole ride. Although Scrog's trailer looked quite isolated, it wasn't, and it was only a 20 minute ride until we were at Plum Lingerie. I'd looked in vain for a Trenton unmarked car on the way over but there wasn't one. Where was Joe when I needed him? Or Eddie? They'd better not be eating doughnuts. My stomach growled at the thought.

"I need some coffee. We have a coffee machine in the kitchen area. I'll make us some. And I'll find us some snacks," I said.

"What about the safe?" Scrog asked.

"I'll get to that after my coffee. Geez. Are you always so pushy?" I asked him. I put a capsule into the coffee maker and pressed the button, and waited. I opened the fridge to get the milk out and found a small bottle of milk, and yoghurt. I got a spoon out of the drawer and handed the yoghurt to Julie. Scrog watched me carefully while I opened the kitchen cupboard, and looked for snacks. I found some pretzels, a fruit cup that I handed to Julie, and a package of cookies. There was also a container of muesli that I didn't remember being there before. Ranger, now would be a good time to come back for all your stuff, I told him silently.

I took the coffee and put a second cup on for Scrog. He watched me suspiciously. I gestured for him to take it.

"I'm sure that I have Tastykakes here somewhere. It feels like a Tastykakes type of morning," I said.

"You eat a lot of junk food," Scrog told me. "You should eat better."

"Well maybe if I wasn't rummaging in my desk drawer for enough food to make up breakfast for our family, I'd be eating healthier. You ever thought of that?" I told him. Keeping him slightly defensive seemed to be working.

I walked over to my desk and opened the second drawer. I knew that was a Tastykake in here somewhere. But even more than that, I knew there was a panic button in there. I hoped that it was still being monitored back at Rangeman and had battery life left but there was no way to tell.

I made a show of moving things around in the desk, stealthily pushing the button when Scrog's gaze flicked over to keep an eye on Julie, then held up the Tastykake in triumph. "Found it!" I yelled, then ripped the package open.

Oh glorious Tastykake on a hungry morning. I sipped my coffee and ate my treat, pondering what to do next. I guess I've gotta open the safe and say that my assistant stole from me. But then Scrog would want her address. I couldn't go to Mary Lou's house. What about Val and Joe in the hopes that Joe would be home? Maybe I could give him Joyce Barnhardt's address, I was pretty sure she would happily shoot any strange men who showed up at her demanding money, especially if they were with me. And she knew Ranger so would realise that something weird would be up. Joyce it was. I hoped she liked early morning surprises. I was almost looking forward to it.

"Now open the safe," Scrog soon as soon as I'd finished chewing.

I sighed. "It's in the back office," I told him.

I could hear a noise at the front door. I froze. It was too early to be Mary Lou, thank God. Bringing my pregnant best friend into this was the last thing that I wanted to have happen. That meant that it was someone looking for me, or someone Rangeman checking out why the panic button went off. Probably not Dickie, he'd have no reason to come here on his own. But who would it be? Lester? Bobby? Hal? I needed to save Julie, but which one of my friends had I just summoned to die?

Afterwards I thought that I should have known for sure. But at the time I was panicked, and wasn't thinking clearly.

"Get back. Don't make a sound or I'll shoot the kid," Scrog warned me, pulling out his gun.

I moved and grabbed Julie, pulling her behind me.

The door swung open and Ranger stepped inside. His hands were held up. He was clear eyed, and I realised that even if I'd have yelled a warning, it wouldn't have mattered. Ranger knew what was about to happen, and he was expecting it.

He opened his mouth to talk, but Scrog shot him. Ranger fell to the ground but Scrog kept shooting, then moved closer.

"Now it's time to end this," he said, pointing the gun down and aiming at Ranger's head. Julie pulled herself out of my arms and launched herself at Scrog. The gun went off again.

"Julie!" I screamed, and ran forward. She seemed unharmed, but Scrog was rolling on the ground. Julie picked up the gun and aimed it at him, and shot him in the leg. She stood over him holding the gun. I was afraid that she was going to keep shooting.

I dropped down beside Ranger and tried to see where he was bleeding. I could see a neck wound and leg wound. I put my hands over the neck wound and hoped that someone was coming soon.

The door burst open and the police came in. I recognised some of them. They called back for the paramedics, and Lester ran in ahead of them.

"Julie, it's Uncle Lester," he said, gently reaching forward and taking the gun off her. That seemed to break her concentration and she took her eyes off Scrog.

"Ranger!" she yelled out. He tried to move his head to see her.

"She's okay. She's safe. She's not hurt," I told him.

The paramedics swooped in and I was gently pushed aside. Julie and I were quickly checked over while Ranger was prepped and moved on to a stretcher. Scrog was also checked over, and cuffed to a stretcher.

Julie pushed the paramedics aside and grabbed hold of Ranger's hand. Her expression was determined.

"That's my father and I'm staying with him," she said loudly. Lester swooped in and picked her up.

"We'll meet them at the hospital," he reassured her. We walked outside, and Tank rushed in and grabbed Julie in hug, checking her over. He hugged her again, then they got into a black SUV and they drove off after the ambulance.

Dickie rushed in and grabbed me.

"Stephanie!" he said, sweeping me up into a crushing hug. I could see Morelli over his shoulder. Morelli looked wrecked, like he hadn't slept in days. Given what I knew of baby Bella's sleeping habits, it was possible that he hadn't. He was looking at me and rubbing his hands over his face, likely thanking his lucky stars that Valerie was nothing like her sister.

Dickie let me go and I stepped back to reassure him that I was all right. Then it struck me what was different about Dickie compared to Ranger, Lester, Tank and Morelli. Dickie was freshly shaven and smelt freshly showered. I suddenly imagined him at home, getting a few hours sleep, showering while practising his speech to give either way.

Was that too cynical?

Dickie had taken media training and knew there'd be photos taken at this moment. Likely knew that these photos were going to follow him for the rest of his political career. He smoothed my hair down and tucked a stray curl behind my ear. _Caring husband comforts wife after horror ordeal._

"I need to go home," I told him.

"I'll take you home as soon as we can," he said.

Morelli came over and grabbed me too.

"You scared the shit out of us. Ranger's men worked all night and we couldn't find you. Never do that again," Morelli told me.

I flashed a thumbs up sign at Morelli. Duly noted. Never be kidnapped by deranged man who was trying to become Ranger ever again. Gotcha.

I needed to sit down, and not from the stress of what had just happened. I'd had a realisation, and it wasn't a good one. I was terrified when Ranger stepped into that room. I thought that I was going to lose him. I was a bit afraid to examine my feelings too closely because I suspected that if I did, I would find that I was falling in love with Ranger Manoso.


	45. Chapter 45 - The Aftermath

I was wrapped in the back of an ambulance when the reporters started to arrive. Dickie was sitting beside me, holding me tight as my teeth started to chatter. I had a blanket wrapped around me but it didn't seem to help.

Eventually I was allowed to go and got into Dickie's car. I headed for the shower as soon as we got home, and spent half an hour in there warming up and removing all traces of Scrog cooties from me.

I went downstairs to find pancakes and coffee waiting for me. I stared at Dickie in confusion.

"What? I can cook!" he said.

"Since when?"

"Since I can do shake 'n' make pancakes and work the coffee maker, that's when," he said. I tipped maple syrup over my pancakes and ate. I was so tired. I guess being kidnapped, drugged and watching two people get shot right in front of your eyes takes it out of you.

"I need to call Morelli," I said, looking around for my phone.

"He called while you were in the shower. So did your mother. And your sister. And Mary Lou," Dickie told me.

"Got it."

"I told your mother you were sleeping, told Val to ask Joe, and told Mary Lou you'd call her back," he continued. I stared. Who was this helpful man and what had he done with my husband? "Joe called with an update on Ranger. He's out of surgery. It looked worse than it was, apparently," Dickie told me.

Well that was some good news at least. I pushed away a memory of how Ranger looked lying on the floor, and me trying to stop his bleeding. If I was lucky, I could stuff that memory far down and never think about it again.

"Did he say how Julie was?"

"Just that her mother is flying up from Florida."

I took a big gulp of my coffee. It was perfect. I'd been waiting hours for this coffee. And it might counteract that my eyes kept wanting to close.

I picked up my coffee, moved to the couch and wrapped my couch blanket around me. Dickie sat next to me and we started watching Ghostbusters but I must have fallen asleep because I didn't remember getting to the end.

* * *

I ended up staying home for the next couple of days. I texted Ranger at one point to see how he was. I wondered if I should visit and bring him some cake to help him recover. I also wondered if that might be inappropriate. I had a lot of free time for thinking and that didn't make for a happy Stephanie. Were my feeling for Ranger just fear that he would die? Was there something more? Why was I wondering this, I was a happily married woman! I felt guilty, especially since Dickie was being extra attentive to me when he was home.

After two days boredom got me over my shock and reluctance to leave the house, and I found my way to the Tasty Pastry, and loaded up on doughnuts. I was feeling like I needed an extra dose of bravery to face my office again. I texted Mary Lou and she told me that she was in at work already and to stop being a baby and to get my butt into work already.

 _Extra publicity means packages everywhere. Orders out the wazoo. Get your butt in here. I can't bend down anymore. XX_

She had a good point _._ Mary Lou's stomach was expanding rapidly and she wasn't able to bend over very far. Poor Mary Lou. This was her third pregnancy, and her body had given in early on this one.

When I arrived at Plum Lingerie, I could see Mary Lou's car and a black SUV in our parking lot.

Hal was standing in the foyer, relaxed but watchful, and nodded to me when I opened the door. The carpet was clean and the office looked normal. I let out a breath that I hadn't realised that I was holding. I didn't know who had arranged to have the floor cleaned but I was grateful that I wasn't stepping back into a floor soaked with Ranger's blood.

"Is that Steph?" Mary Lou called out. "I'm packaging up orders. Get your butt out here and help," she yelled at me. I grinned and put the pastry box down on our kitchenette area.

"I was getting doughnuts when I got your text," I yelled back, getting out my coffee cup.

"Doughnuts? Oh beautiful, you're an angel. And Mary Lou is a harder taskmaster than Tank," a voice called out, and Lester appeared.

I was happy to see Lester. I hadn't seen any of the RangeMan crew lately, except for those moments after Ranger was shot, and I didn't really want to think about those moments.

"Hey Lester!"

"Hi Stephanie. How's it going?"

"It's fine, Les. How are you? How is Ranger recovering?" I asked him.

"He's fine. He's been shot worse. He's gone to Florida for a while to spend time with Julie. And his Abuela. She doesn't like her when her favourite gets shot."

I smiled, imagining Ranger being fussed over. "Hopefully he gets some time to relax in the sun. I was going to visit but I didn't want to visit without checking, and Ranger didn't answer my text. He must have been busy."

Lester rolled his eyes in response.

"My cousin is overly dramatic and is busy punishing himself for his daughter being kidnapped, and then you as well. He is feeling responsible for both," Lester said.

"That's ridiculous," I said.

"That's Carlos," Lester told me. He sounded like he wanted to do another eye roll but was holding himself back.

Mary Lou appeared and headed straight for the doughuts.

"Out of the way, Lester, I'm growing a human here and need those doughnuts more than you do."

Hal looked like he was trying to hold back laughter. Lester grinned.

"So Lester, what brings you to the office? Surely you have better things to do than pick up things from the lower shelves for Mare?"

"All part of the service. Check your Rangeman contract. There was an incident on site that Rangeman needed to respond to, so you get in house security for a few weeks while we monitor the situation."

"Is that standard?"

"Usually it would be at a heavily discounted price, but since it was due to a Rangeman activity that you got caught up in, we're footing the bill. And you get me. Usually I'm too busy and important to leave my office," he informed, taking a second doughnut.

"You buy the doughnuts tomorrow," I told him.

"Deal."

I followed Mary Lou into the warehouse we did our packaging and stopped.

"All those are orders?" I asked her, looking at the massive pile.

"Yeah. And they keep on coming in. I guess any mention in the media is a good one. You need to do a stock count because we need to think about a re-order," Mary Lou told me.

"I'll do the stock check tonight. I got our supplier to hold some back because we didn't have the room here so they can ship straight away," I told her.

We had a lot of work to do. I ordered in Pino's for lunch to treat Lester and Hal for one of their legendary meatball subs. Lester claimed that he'd eaten better in Miami, which I found hard to believe. Cuban food, probably, but Italian? This was Jersey!

Mary Lou left early afternoon to go pick her boys up, and our courier company came to pick up the parcels. Hal watched carefully as they collected the packages.

"Time to leave for the day?" Lester asked me.

"I've got a few more things to do, but feel free to go," I told him.

"No can do, beautiful. We'll stick around until you leave for the day."

"I'm fine. I've got to do my stock count, then I'll leave. You guys go on ahead, I'll be fine."

"Hal can't go home until you do," Lester told me. I sighed. Looked like Lester was taking his guarding duties seriously. I wondered how long he would be hanging around, and if I could complain to Ranger that his cousin was crowding me. I texted Ranger but there was no reply.

* * *

Mary Lou had the day off, and I'd decided that after our busy few weeks, I deserved an extra day off too. I'd taken myself to the mall to see Mr Alexander and have my hair done, then looked at shoes and handbags. I'd bought two pairs of shoes and hadn't found a handbag that I wanted, but I had noticed something a bit odd.

Lester had said that our weeks of extra monitoring were over, but there was definitely a Hal-o-saurus behind me. Every time I walked towards him, he disappeared. I ducked into Victoria's Secret to see if he would follow me in there. I was all set for lacey underwear and other items, but it never hurts to check out the competition, and I was curious to see what Hal would do.

I ended up buying some new lacy underwear anyway and left with Victoria's Secret bags. Market research, I told myself, but really I just wanted new fancy underwear.

I caught a glimpse of Hal behind me. His face looked red but he was still there. I took myself off to the food court for a smoothie, then decided to head home. A black SUV could be seen in my rear view window for most of the drive but disappeared as I turned into my street.

It was time to get ready for dinner with my parents. We were nearly a full house, Dickie wouldn't be there, and Joe would be as long as he didn't get a call out. It was going to be a noisy night, so I decided to stop on the way and pick up an extra bottle of red wine to go with dinner. My mother didn't trust my cooking so I was still limited to bringing either wine or bread to go with meals.

I was leaving the store with my wine when I saw someone familiar walking towards me. Ranger was back! I stepped out of the store doorway and into his path, and seemed to surprise him a little. I felt a big smug. Take that, Mr Be Aware Of Your Surroundings At All Times.

"Hey Ranger."

"Hi Stephanie. Sorry, I've got to keep walking," he told me.

"Oh. Okay. Can we catch up for coffee sometime?"

"Sorry Steph, I'm busy at the moment," he said. Hmmm. Was I getting the brush off?

"I thought you said we were going to have a talk about something," I said, curious. Mary Lou has a saying of, "Don't poke the bear". It means to leave well enough alone but I've never been able to do that.

"No," he said abruptly.

"No?"

"No. I was wrong. Excuse me, I have a meeting I need to get to," he said, walking past me. I felt hurt, and it must have showed on my face, because he hesitated. "I can't thank you enough for saving Julie. You saved my daughter when I couldn't. But you were in danger because I involved you in my life. I shouldn't have done that to you."

"Ranger-"

"No. That was wrong and you nearly paid the price. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"You don't need me as a friend in your life, Stephanie."

"So why do I have a Hal-o-saurus following me around?" I asked.

"You spotted him?"

"He's the size of a building. He's hard not to spot."

"He's just there while everything settles down. He'll be gone soon."

"Like you?" I asked wistfully.

"Yeah. Sorry. But that's the way it is. Goodbye, Stephanie."

* * *

 _Author note: sorry this one took so long! I wanted to make it longer or better but stopped in the end in favour of finally getting an update out. Stayed tuned for the equivalent events of Lean Mean Thirteen!_


	46. Chapter 46 - Gossip with doughnuts

Life with Dickie – Chapter 46

Firstly, thank you all the reviewers – especially the critical ones! It helped keep me on track for this chapter and get back to where we needed to be. And it made me feel like a real author! To anyone who is worried, Ranger will come through in the end. He just needs to get over his sulk first.

* * *

I stood in the middle of the footpath watching Ranger walk away, mouth agape.

He flirted with me. He was the one who pushed himself into my life. He was the one who wanted us to be friends. I saved his daughter! And then what? "Goodbye, Stephanie."

"What a jackass," I muttered to myself. I heard a sound nearby and looked up to see Tank, trying to hold back laughter. I hadn't even noticed him there in my excitement of finally seeing Ranger and seeing for myself that he really was okay. I glared at Tank and stomped off.

I was late for dinner. The pot roast was dried out. My family valiantly washed it down with the red wine that I bought. Morelli's phone beeped with a message halfway through dinner. He checked it, excused himself, and disappeared.

Poor Joe. I'd have to eat his slice of cake for him. And Dickie's too. I was there for my family members in need.

After dessert I walked Val and the girls home. Mary Alice neighed and trotted the whole way. I pushed Bella's pram, and Angie chatted to me the whole way home.

"Where was Dickie tonight?" Val asked.

"Working, like always," I told her.

"He works late a lot," she said.

"Part of the job, I guess. Just like Morelli."

"Sometimes I worry about Joe. Steve worked a lot and I trusted him. Then he ran off with the babysitter."

"Joe won't run off with the babysitter, Val. He's grown into a decent man."

"Yeah, I guess so. It can be hard to tell though," she said. We reached her house, so I hugged her and my nieces goodbye, then walked back to my parents.

I went into the house to say goodbye and pick up the giant bag of leftovers that my mother had packed up. It seemed that she'd decided that I couldn't fend for myself, but there was half a cake in there, so I didn't complain. If Dickie was lucky, I'd even leave him a piece to eat.

* * *

The door to my office opened, and I looked up. Mary Lou had the day off and Hal-o-saurus had stopped shadowing me a few weeks earlier, so I was alone in the office. As alone as someone with security monitoring and a panic button could be. We sometimes got customers coming in to pick up orders, but I saw that it was Eddie Garazza, who was married to my cousin Shirley. Then again they had about a billion children, but maybe Eddie was coming in to pick up something nice for Shirley.

He had a box of doughnuts in his hands and he looked nervous.

I wasn't going to babysit, no matter what. Dickie refused to help me again after last time, and I wasn't facing Eddie's kids on my own.

"I'm not babysitting," I told him. Might as well get it out of the way.

"It's not that," Eddie opened with. "Shirly overheard something the other day at the beauty parlour. I know she likes to gossip, Steph, but it's got me worried."

Crap. Burg gossip. This wasn't good. What had I done this time? Well besides getting kidnapped, having multiple men shot in my business premises, being brushed off by Ranger in the street – oh crap, was the rumour that I was having an affair with Ranger?

"It's not true, Eddie. I swear it," I told him. He opened the box of doughnuts and slid them over the counter towards me. I picked up a doughnut and took a bite.

"It's Joyce Barnhardt. She was bragging that her boyfriend is on the verge of a big deal."

"Well, good for her," I told him.

"She said he's a lawyer in a small firm, and he and the other partners have this huge deal going that's about to pay off. That all she needs to do is get him to leave his wife and she'll be set," Eddie said.

"Joyce is a shark. No, not a shark. A bottom feeding pond scum sucker. And if this guy is cheating on his wife, then he deserves Joyce. What a scum bag."

"Stephanie, Shirley thinks she was talking about Dickie," Eddie told me. I stopped eating.

"What? No. Dickie's not a cheater. When would he have the time?" I said. When would he have the time? Because he's always at work.

Always… at….

I stared at Eddie. It was starting to sink in.

"Shirley said that Joyce described him and he sounded like Dickie. And Joyce knew that Shirley was in the room and that she's your cousin. It's the sort of awful thing that Joyce would get a kick out of, not thinking that Shirley would work it out," Eddie said.

That was true enough. Joyce did like to think that she was clever, and Shirley didn't have a reputation for being that bright. However Shirley's sense for gossip was top notch. Although I wanted to deny immediately that Dickie would ever cheat on me, I trusted Shirley and if she thought it was important enough to send Eddie around with doughnuts, well… she must have been certain.

"Shit," I said.

"Yeah," Eddie said.

"I need to find out," I said.

"Don't do anything until you know for sure," Eddie cautioned me.

"How do I find out for sure?" I asked him. He looked back at me. "Shit," I said. I'd need to catch him in the act, or see if he was stupid enough to have any evidence on his phone. He always kept his phone secure and I didn't know the passcode. He said that it was security for his work, and I'd believed it.

So that left catching him in the act.

I needed back-up. Ranger would have been my number one choice in looking intimidating, but he wasn't talking to me at the moment. Hal-o-saurus had disappeared from sight. Morelli and Eddie were cops and probably couldn't rough people up for the hell of it. Who did that leave? A pregnant Mary Lou? Val with baby Bella strapped to her front? My dad? I sighed.

I was on my own.

First things first, Stephanie. Get smart. You know Dickie can track you from your phone. Set up a plan. See what happens.

First. Find out what Joyce is doing. If I saw her out somewhere and she was with someone not Dickie, that would clear him.

That made me remember when I'd last seen Joyce, when she'd been at the same restaurant that Dickie and I were meeting at for dinner. She'd been meeting Ranger. She and Dickie had arrived minutes apart, and he'd known her.

I'd also caught a glimpse of someone leaving Dickie's building once that looked slightly like Joyce but she'd disappeared before I could get a proper look.

Nothing conclusive but I was starting to feel like I'd been an idiot. A trusting idiot.

So how did I find out what Joyce was up to? She'd surely spot me if I tried to track her. Not many people in the Burg had a Mercedes. And Mary Lou had giant vanity plates that would make it obvious if I borrowed her car. I couldn't borrow Big Blue.

This was when I really could have used Ranger as a friend. I bet he had some nifty spy gadgets that I could use.

You know what. The hell with it. Dickie had been acting suspiciously enough lately that I should have been worried earlier. Instead I'd been in denial. I was never one to hold back, so I'd just throw myself in the deep end. Time to visit my husband at work.

"Want to give me a lift?" I asked Eddie.


	47. Chapter 47 - The Confrontation

Eddie pulled his car over outside Dickie's office building.

"Do you want me to come up with you?" he asked.

"No thanks, Eddie." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a good friend. I'll let you know how it goes." He looked nervous.

"I'll find a park and come up. You'll need a lift home," he told me.

"See you in a bit then," I said, and got out of the car.

* * *

The office looked normal. There was a receptionist at the front desk, and I could see that Dickie's office door was closed. I could see the outline of people in the conference room and someone waiting in the reception area.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. Joyce wasn't strutting around naked, and there weren't bras strung around the place (that would be my workplace).

"Ms Plum," the receptionist said when she noticed me. "Mr Orr is in the conference room, finishing up a meeting. He'll be out soon."

"I'll wait in his office," I told her.

I turned to walk away and then noticed someone familiar sitting in the waiting area, someone that I had not noticed when I'd first stormed in. What was Lester doing here? He shook his head slightly at me.

I opened the door to Dickie's office and walked in. Well, time to snoop before he finished his meeting.

It all looked normal. A nice photo of him and me on our wedding day was framed and on his desk, next to a clock that was a wedding present from my Aunt Tootsie. His qualifications were framed on the wall. I opened the top drawer and found nothing out of the ordinary. His file cabinet was locked.

I sat in his chair and drummed my finger on his desk. I rummaged around but there was absolutely nothing interesting to find in there.

I didn't know what I was expecting to find in his office. Joyce hidden behind the desk? A collection of letter confessing guilt? Dickie himself, wracked with guilt and sobbing? I began to feel doubt. Was I a bad wife to immediately jump to conclusions about my husband?

"Stephanie," Dickie said, coming into his office. "This is a nice surprise."

I decided to get straight to the point before I chickened out.

"I need to ask you something. Are you having an affair?"

"Stephanie! Why would you ask me such a thing?"

"Yes or no, Dickie. Are you having an affair?"

"I'm so shocked and hurt by this accusation," he told me, looking woeful. I know you practise your expressions, Dickie, and I'm not a jury to be impressed by them. I started feeling even angrier. He was trying to avoid the question. He put down his phone and work documents on the desk beside me, and put his arms around me.

"Steph, why are you asking me this? Is someone trying to break us apart?" he asked. I wavered. I knew that Dickie was good at spinning the truth to make himself look good, I knew that he was manipulative, but surely he wouldn't go so low as to have an affair. We loved each other, we were trying to have a baby. But he still hadn't answered the question.

"Dickie, you need to…" I began, and then stopped. Dickie's phone had beeped with a text message and I'd seen the notification that flashed up. I broke free to him and snatched the phone up before he could get to it. He'd always had his phone passcode locked and never shared the code with me, saying it was for work reasons, but I could see the notification on the screen. He tried to grab the phone off me but I squirmed away.

It said it was from Joyce Anderson, the message said, "Looking forward to seeing you tonight. Fancy a repeat of last week?" and the phone that went with it… argh. I wished that I could unsee that photo, but I suspected the image of Joyce and Dickie going at it would forever be burned into my brain. Even though it was only a thumbnail of the photo that had been sent, it was graphic. Urgh.

"What the fuck!" I shrieked, throwing the phone at Dickie's head.

"Steph, it's not," he began, then looked at the message. "Oh."

"Oh? Oh? What the fuck, Dickie!" I screamed again, and threw a stapler off his desk at him. His office staff were starting to look and walk towards his office.

"Come on, Steph. Is it just that it's Joyce this time? Is that what this is all about?"

"This time?"

"You honestly telling me that you didn't know, Stephanie?"

"Of course I didn't know! Are you telling me there was more than one?" I saw red and all those times Dickie was home late flashed before me. I trusted him! And what about all those work trips away? Was he alone on those? How many women had there been?

I launched myself at him and knocked him to the ground. I got a few good hits in, although Dickie was more intent on defending himself. I was pulled off Dickie and wrenched myself away before realising that it was Eddie pulling me off.

"She's crazy!" Dickie yelled. He was holding his nose and there was blood dripping out from between his fingers.

"I've called security," his assistant said. I looked over and saw that the rest of the office was crowded around the doorway, including the law firm partners.

"We don't need security, the police are here already," Dickie said, pointing to Eddie. "You keep her under control or I'll press charges for domestic abuse," he told Eddie. I lunged for Dickie again but Eddie grabbed me in time.

"You're scum, Dickie!" I yelled at him. "You don't deserve to be in my life! And you don't deserve this clock!" I snatched up the present from Aunt Tootsie. "This is a memento of our wedding vows, and since you clearly don't give a shit about them, you don't deserve this!"

I stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind me. Eddie didn't follow, and I assumed that he was placating Dickie and making sure that security or whatever police showed up got my side of the story too. I had no doubt that Dickie would try to spin it to make himself look good, including pinning all blame on me. I'd embarrassed him in public, and he'd try to make me pay and make sure that he came off smelling like roses.

There was no sign of Lester on my way out, but there was a black SUV idling near the office. I guessed at the occupants and flashed them the middle finger. I was in no mood to talk to men.


	48. Chapter 48 - Stay angry

A few hours later I was sitting in a pub near Dickie's work. I had an empty beer and a basket of fries in front of me. Some people turn to alcohol, I turn to carbohydrates. Aunt Tootsie's clock was on the table in front of me. I stared at it.

My brain wasn't getting much more beyond _motherfucker_. He'd cheated on me! And with Joyce! I hated Joyce. Now I hated her even more.

I heard footsteps approach me and someone slid into the booth next to me. I smelt the aftershave before I bothered to look. Ranger.

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh now you show up. Where were you earlier when I needed my super hero secret agent friend?"

"Sorry."

"With your head up your ass, that's where you were," I told him. There was a hint of a smile on his face.

"Sorry."

"What was Lester doing there?" I asked.

"Survelliance."

"Of what?" I asked.

"Do you need a lift?" he said, changing the topic. I sighed.

"Yeah I guess so. I left my car at work. And my phone and purse."

"Left in a hurry?"

"I wanted to catch Dickie off guard. It occurred to me that there could be trackers."

This time there was a real grin instead of the ghost of a smile. "I'm proud of you, babe."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm an idiot, and now everyone knows it."

"Your husband is a cheater, babe. That doesn't make you an idiot."

"If I'm not, then why didn't I see it happening? What else don't I know about?" I asked. Ranger shifted slightly. "What? What do you know?" I asked him.

"We can talk later, babe. Where do you want me to drive you?"

"To the office," I said, picking up the clock. Ranger put some money down to cover my fries and beer, and gestured for me to go ahead of him. His Porsche was waiting out the front. Of course Ranger got the perfect park. I climbed into the car, and looked at the clock.

"Nice clock," Ranger said.

"We got this clock for our wedding day. My Aunt Tootsie gave it to us. Dickie had it on his desk. I bet he didn't even remember that it was a wedding present," I said to Ranger. Ranger reached across and squeezed my hand. I was rambling, but couldn't stop.

"He doesn't deserve this clock, anymore. He doesn't deserve anything from me. And it wasn't even just Joyce, Ranger. There were more. I don't know how many more. I don't know what to do."

"I heard you got a few good hits in," Ranger said.

"Yeah. I saw red and before I knew it, I was punching Dickie."

"Stay angry, babe. Anger keeps you strong."

We pulled up outside my office. I pulled my keys from my pocket and got out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride," I told Ranger. I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together.

"You forgot your clock."

"You can have it."

* * *

I got my purse, phone and got into my car and drove home. Dickie wasn't there, and I was relieved to not see him. I wasn't sure that I ever wanted to see Dickie ever again.

My phone rang. It was my mother. I sighed.

"Stephanie! This is your mother!"

"Hi mom."

"Oh Stephanie. The phone has been ringing off the hook. Did you really hit Dickie in the face?"

"Yes."

"Stephanie, why? Why me?"

"Why you? Because he was cheating on me with Joyce. I didn't plan it out."

"But to do it so publicly… you can't just move on from this, Stephanie. Why don't you ever think?"

"I don't want to move on from this! Dickie and I are over!"

"You stay that now, Stephanie, but you might not feel that way tomorrow. Dickie will come home and apologise, and you might want to reconsider."

"I'm not going to reconsider, mother."

"But Stephanie-"

"Mother, are you even on my side? You're not sounding like it."

"Of course I'm on your side, Stephanie. I just want what's best for you."

"What's best for me is to not have a husband who is cheating on me."

"But that's been the case for years," my mother said.

"But – what? You knew?" I yelled. Then I hung up the phone.

It rang almost immediately. Valerie this time.

"Val."

"Oh Stephie. Are you okay?"

"I'm trying to be," I told her.

"I'm so sorry. This is just like Steve. I should have known. I mean, there were signs, but I thought Dickie was different. Are you going to take him back?"

"I don't know, Val. I don't know what I'm doing. I think I need some time," I told her. She said that she would call again the next day, and we hung up.

I was stunned. My mother had known. Valerie had suspected. They'd both assumed that I'd known. They assumed that I'd just put up with his cheating ass?

I took a bottle of Dickie's finest Scotch and went out to the firepit in the backyard. We'd never used it. I'd gotten it installed one year, thinking that Dickie and I would roast marshmallows and make s'mores, but we'd never gotten around to it. I decided to christen it with Dickie's favourite suit and his expensive Scotch. I put the suit in, added the Scotch, and set it on fire.

It wasn't the best fire I'd ever made, and it kind of smelled weird, but I sat beside it anyway and plotted.

After I'd set the second suit on fire, I remembered that there was a camera in the backyard. It was supposed to be watching the backdoor, but I looked up to find that it had changed direction and was pointing towards the fire pit. I waved. I wondered who it was on duty that night. Hal? Lester? Bobby? Vince?

Who exactly was it who was watching me mourn my marriage and burn expensive tailored suits?

My question was answered twenty minutes later when the slide gate opened and a slim figure slid through.

"Estephania."

"Hola Hector."

"Hola."

I looked at the camera. It was pointed back at the door. Not an official visit, then. Hector held out something to me. It was a takeaway cup of hot chocolate. I sighed and tears sprung to my eyes. It wasn't just the stinging from my smoke coming off the burning clothing, it was Hector's small act of kindness.

"Oh Hector," I said. "Why are men such bastards?" He shrugged. He gestured for me to go inside the house and set the alarm. I looked at my phone. It was hours later than I thought and I had thirty missed calls. Ten of them were from Dickie. I sighed and decided to go to bed. I took my pyjamas and pulled out the sofa bed in my office. Tomorrow I would figure out what I was going to do with my life.


	49. Chapter 49 - Dickie is missing

_If anyone is worried whether or not this will be finished, don't worry! I'm committed to finishing it up to the end of the events of book thirteen._

* * *

Dickie wasn't home when I woke up. I was half relieved, half disappointed. I wouldn't have minded another screaming match to get it all out of my system, but I guess he'd decided to stay away until I'd calmed down.

The joke was on him, I was planning on staying angry.

I thought about packing up all his stuff, but did I really want to stay in this house? Dickie wanted this overly large house, not me. I didn't need all this space. Maybe I should pack up my stuff and go. But was that giving in? Why did I need to leave? This was my house!

An hour later when the sun rose, I'd drunk three cups of coffee and wasn't any closer to making a decision.

I showered, dressed, put on three layers of mascara and set off for work.

Mary Lou showed up early, with coffee, doughnuts and cake. I guess word had got around.

"How bad is it?" she asked me.

"What you've heard is probably close enough to the truth," I told her.

"You found Dickie boinking Joyce on a conference table, attacked the both of them, threatened Dickie, destroyed his office, and set fire to all his clothes."

"Close. I saw a photo of Dickie and Joyce, only threatened and attacked Dickie, and it was only two suits that I set fire too, then the smoke started bothering my eyes."

Mary Lou hugged me. "Oh Steph. I'm sorry."

"Me too. I'm not sure where to go from here."

"Do you think you could forgive him?"

"No. He confessed that Joyce wasn't the only one he's cheated on me with, and he seemed surprised that I didn't know. I have no idea how long it's been going on. Probably since we were first married."

"That bastard."

Mary Lou opened the doughnut box and handed it to me. "You may need them all," she told me.

"Thanks Mare. You're the best friend ever," I told her.

"Is that Morelli?" she asked, looking out the window. A police car pulled up to the office. I rolled my eyes.

"Probably. Val probably sent him over," I began, but stopped talking as Robin Russell and Marty Gobel got out of the car and walked up to the office door. I opened it to let them in.

"Stephanie Plum?" Marty asked.

"We went to the school together, Marty. You know who I am. Hi Robin. What can I help you with?"

Robin Russell cleared her throat delicately. "Dickie is missing. His, uh, girlfriend reported him missing this morning and there are signs of a disturbance at his office," she said.

"His girlfriend?" I yelled.

"Do you know where your husband is?" Marty asked me.

"No! I haven't seen him since…"

"Since you were witnessed in an argument at his office, during which you threatened him?"

"Whose side are you on, Marty?" I asked him.

"I'm not on anyone's side."

"Could have fooled me."

"So you haven't seen Dickie since, uh, yesterday?" Robin asked.

"Since I was at his office, yes. He didn't come home last night. That's not unusual for Dickie though, so I didn't worry. I thought that he'd show up sometime today. What happened at his office?"

"We're not sure. They don't have security cameras. The cleaners showed up early this morning and found broken glass in the law firm office, evidence of bullets being fired, and blood on the floor – not much, but enough that we're worried. It looks like someone was dragged out of there. And with Dickie missing, well, we're worried."

I could feel myself pale. Dickie was a rat bastard, but I was still worried about him. What had he got himself into?

"Do you know anything that could help us with finding out what happened, Stephanie?" Robin asked.

"No. Dickie didn't talk about his work much. He said it had to do with client confidentiality. I left him there yesterday afternoon after we had – had an argument. He tried calling me but I ignored his calls. I figured that he'd show up today, he usually did after we'd had a fight."

"Did you fight often?"

"No. Usually we argued over him being away too much or working too much. Sometimes it felt like I never saw him. I'm sorry, I don't know what could have happened."

I pulled out my phone and tried calling Dickie but he didn't answer. Then I played my voice mail messages, but it was mostly just Dickie sighing and asking me to call him. I promised to let Robin and Marty know if I heard anything from Dickie at all.

"Were you alone last night?" Marty asked.

"Yes. I was alone at my house."

"So no witnesses to that?"

"What? No. No, wait. I have video surveillance monitoring on my alarm system. It would have been on because the alarm was set all night."

"So is that through?"

"RangeMan."

"They'd have the footage?"

"I didn't kill my husband, Marty," I snapped at him. Robin rolled her eyes.

"We'll let keep you updated, Steph," she told me. "Call me if you have any questions."

They left and Mary Lou looked at me.

"So what the hell happened to Dickie?" she asked. I shrugged. "Want me to get on the phone?" she asked, and I nodded. Mary Lou was going to tap into the Burg network to find out what happened, and I decided to do my own networks.

I called Valerie, but she hadn't heard anything. Morelli didn't know anything either that I hadn't just gotten from Robin and Marty, but he promised to keep me updated.

Mary Lou was still on the phone, and she did an overexaggerated shrug, palms up. She hadn't found out anything either. Dickie's office was outside the Burg, and he hadn't grown up there, but usually something this good involving one of their members would have gotten more information than this by now. All we knew was that Dickie was missing, and Joyce was kicking up a stink about it. Which was unusual in itself. Usually Joyce went for rich, single men who she could easily marry without a pre-nup, stayed married for a few years, and then divorce them and take half their money. Dickie was married, and although we were well off by Burg standards, not well off enough to draw Joyce usually. Was she in love with him?

Argh. I hated Joyce so much. She hated me too. She was managing to horn herself into the role of worried partner, and me into the role of potential killer. I'd done nothing wrong, but Joyce had managed to wreck my life anyway.

Joyce was a poison.

I decided to stop by RangeMan and find out what Ranger knew. He was doing some sort of surveillance in Dickie's office building. Would he have the answer to what had happened?

Hal was on front desk duty, and he let Ranger knew that I was on my way up to the fifth floor, and buzzed me through. The control room had changed slightly since the last time I was up there – more office space, a bigger lunch room, and the gym had disappeared on to a lower floor.

Ranger waved me into his office where he was looking at a mound of paperwork.

"Hi Steph. Is everything okay?"

"Dickie is missing," I told him.

"Oh? That so?"

"Did you make my husband disappear?"

"No."

"Did Hector?"

"Hector was on shift all night. We have the recordings to prove it."

I knew that wasn't true and that wasn't what I'd asked anyway, but I let that one slide.

"Ramos?"

"I don't think Ramos would bother himself with Dickie. He'd find it highly amusing and probably send you flowers to win you over if he knew."

"Then where the hell is he?"

"I don't know. I wasn't asked to put surveillance on Dickie, only audio recording on his business partners. And they've slipped away."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on? Why were you bugging the office?" I asked Ranger.

"It's a long story. I need to get this paperwork to my accountant. Go upstairs to my apartment, take a nap, I'll be up in a few hours. I'll tell you the whole story then."

"Pinky swear?"

"No. But I'll have Ella bring you up some food," he said, passing his key fob across.

"Just as good," I said. I took the fob and headed to his apartment upstairs.


	50. Chapter 50 - The Burg gossip line

Happy New Year! Thanks for reading and your patience with the long break in updating.

* * *

I closed the door to Ranger's apartment behind me and sighed. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. Ranger's apartment was like a calm, well styled oasis. I kicked my shoes off, tucked them under his coffee table, and then stuck my head in the fridge. Ranger had said he'd get Ella to bring up some food, but I wanted to see if there was anything good in there. There was half a jar of olives and two carrots. Ranger really didn't take advantage of having a full time Ella.

I thought about snooping around in Ranger's stuff to distract myself, but I knew from my last visit that I likely wouldn't find anything good. It didn't feel right to sleep in Ranger's bed while he was home (well, more than right, it didn't feel safe) so I grabbed one of his pillows, and a soft throw blanket from the back of a couch and snuggled in. I'd had a long restless night, and before I knew it, I'd nodded off.

I woke up some time later. I could smell food, and hear someone dropping keys in the entranceway. "Dickie?" I asked, half-asleep. Then the last day clicked into place. "Oh," I said, sitting up.

"It's okay, babe. It's just me," Ranger said. Still half-asleep, I wondered if that was supposed to make me more relaxed or less. It was just Ranger – and I was in Ranger's apartment, alone with him. Behind walls of security that no one else could get through. Oddly, I felt safer with him there.

"Have you heard from Morelli?"

"He rang earlier to ask if I knew anything. Which I don't, by the way."

"What do you know?"

"Why don't we talk over dinner? Ella dropped off something earlier and reported you were asleep. I'll heat it up."

"Let me help," I said, getting off the couch and heading over. We heated up our dinner, and sat down at the dining table together.

"So before we start, tell me what happened after I dropped you back at your office yesterday?" Ranger asked. I sighed heavily.

"I went home. I ignored all Dickie's phone calls. I used the firepit that I bought him and we'd never had time to sit down together and use, and I started drinking and burned some of his clothes. Or maybe I burned the clothes, then started drinking? It's a bit unclear. I don't usually drink much," I said.

"Yeah, I figured that."

"Hector came by. He made me go to bed."

"I never took Hector as the mother hen type."

"Maybe he's scared of you. He's definitely not scared of me. Anyway, I slept on the sofa bed in my office because I didn't want to face Dickie when he got home. I woke up early and went to work. Dickie hadn't come home but I figured he was avoiding me. Mary Lou came in and the gossip was all over town already. Then the police showed up and told me that Dickie was missing. His office was trashed and there were signs of a struggle. He hasn't tried to call me since midnight last night and was calling regularly since then."

"Have you listened to his messages?" Ranger asked.

"No. Is there any point?"

"He might say something useful," Ranger gently pointed out. I sighed and dialled my message bank.

"Prepare yourself for the Burg gossip line," I warned him. I set my phone up to play on speaker, then dug into my food.

" _Steph. Steph. I'm sorry. I fucked up. Call me back."_

Not likely, Dickie.

" _STEPHANIE! THIS IS YOUR MOTHER! Linda Woodford's daughter called her and said that she saw you attack your husband in his office! Stephanie, how could you? Call me back. This is Mom."_

How could I? HOW COULD I?

" _Steph. Me again. Look, I can explain. It isn't as bad as it looks. Just call me, okay?"_

It isn't as bad as it looks? That photo was fairly graphic. I'm not sure how it could not be as bad as it looks.

" _Steph, it's Val. Look I just got a phone call and I'm worried. Can you give me a call back? Please?"_

Oh Val. She really did sound worried.

" _Steph, I got everything sorted out with the security at Dickie's work. But now I don't know where you are. Do you need a ride back to your office? Are you okay? Should I call someone? Oh, and it's Eddie."_

Eddie sounded a bit frazzled. He was mostly on foot patrol, making sure that the line outside the deli didn't get too rowdy. Today was probably the most action he'd seen all year, and he wasn't handling it well.

" _Stephanie, answer the phone. Stop ignoring me."_

Nope nope nope.

" _Hey baby granddaughter, it's your smoking hot grandmother here. I overheard your mother talking to Val. Don't listen to whatever your mother tells you, baby girl. She's got your best interests at heart but her head lives up her patoot. Your grandfather, God rest his soul, always told me that Dickie was a good for nothing but I let him suck me in with that charm. Well never again. He's a horse's ass and he's not welcome in this house anymore. And if you need to move back in, remember that my time in the bathroom is at 8am. I take a while."_

Oh God. Where was I going to live? Would I have to move back in with my parents? Oh no. Maybe I would. Plum Lingerie wasn't making enough to support me fully yet. Oh God.

" _Steph, it's Mare. Call me when you can."_

Mary Lou, such a good friend.

" _Look Stephanie, I have to get back to work. I have clients. I'll talk to you later."_

Except apparently you're about to be kidnapped and possibly murdered, Dickie. And the more messages I listen to, the less I start to care about that.

" _Babe. Call me."_

My eyes flicked over to Ranger.

"That was before I tracked you down in the bar. I'm still impressed at your lack of trackers."

" _Stephanie, it's Dad. Call your mother. Please."_

Geez, now she's got Dad in on it. He sounds like he's being tortured.

" _Cupcake, it's Morelli. I got the update from Eddie. What a dirtbag, and that's coming from me. Let me know if you need assistance. With anything."_

Anything. That could cover a lot. Was that anything as a cop, or anything as a member of the Morelli clan?

" _Hello Stephanie, it's your Uncle Harry. Your father tells me that you have a problem at home and might need some assistance with your renovations. Let me know if my company can assist with providing you with new carpeting."_

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. My father got Harry the Hammer to call me. He is my cousin Vinnie's father-in-law and apparently that's close enough for him to offer to take care of something for me. Or maybe he really, really hates Dickie. Maybe it's his fantasy to get rid of Vinnie and he's willing to help my father out the same way. I assume that the carpeting was being rolled up about Dickie's dead body in this scenario.

" _Steph, you okay? I haven't heard from you. Let me know if – oh God, Kenny just vomited everywhere. Kenny, I told you not to eat all those cheezels. I'm sorry, Steph, call me, okay?"_

Mary Lou was really not selling this parenthood thing well to me. Oh no – what if I was finally pregnant? Jeez, wouldn't that be a kick while I was down. Also note to self – need STD testing. Have shared Joyce cootie. Worse than when she spat in my milk. One thousand times worse.

" _So I have to work late. Hopefully you've calmed down by now. I'll see you at home later."_

Oh you have to work late? Seriously? You should have been at home trying to save your marriage, then you wouldn't have gotten your ass kidnapped. Serves you right, asshole.

"Babe," Ranger said.

"That obvious?"

"Kinda."

" _Ms Plum, this is Alexander Ramos. I understand you got some unpleasant news this afternoon. I am sorry to hear of this, but also not sorry that your little weasel husband got himself caught. I knew that an intelligent woman such as yourself would not stand for such things. Ah if only I were younger. Although I am in need of a new wife. But also, so is my son Hannibal. Please consider this when you are in need of a new husband, which I think will be soon."_

My eyes flicked over to Ranger. He shook his head slightly. "That wasn't a threat. Ramos isn't known for his discretion. He genuinely likes you and wants to marry you off to Hannibal."

Eh. Hannibal wasn't bad looking, although he had cold shark eyes. I could do worse. There was a beach house involved, although maybe I'd have to marry Alexander to get the house in Deal. But still, it wasn't the worst offer I'd had. Especially with the quality of men that my mother was sure to start trotting out soon. And the only decent Morelli was taken. Ugh. Why was I thinking that way? My mother was getting to me.

" _Steph, it's Shirley. Eddie told me what happened. I'm sorry. Joyce is scum. Worse than scum. We all know what she's like. I'm sorry that the gossip turned out to be true. Don't hold it against me, okay? Call me. Eddie is worried."_

Oh Shirley. She was a dead set champion whiner and gossip, but she'd done me a favour this time. So big that when all this settled down, I might even babysit. With Mary Lou for back-up.

There was a pause between calls now. It must have been dinner time in the Burg.

" _Stephanie, you're being immature. Stop ignoring my calls and answer me."_

Whatever, Dickie. I'll show you immature.

" _Steph, I'm leaving work soon. I'll see you at home in half an hour."_

The time on that message was 11.45pm. Dickie was expecting to be home just after that. That was the last message that night. I looked across at Ranger.

"That was the last message that night. I've been answering my phone today, and Dickie didn't try to call at all," I told him.

"It narrows down the timing for us. Dickie was leaving the office then, your house is a quick trip from his work. It sounds like not even Dickie expected to be at work that late. I don't think anyone would have expected him to be in the office at that time."

"What does that mean?"

"Well the good news is that it most likely wasn't a kidnapping attempt aimed at Dickie. The bad news is that means he got in the way of someone."

"Oh no."

"Also you seem to have a lot of offers from people offering the take care of your problem for you. Dickie doesn't seem to have been well liked."

"The Burg takes care of its own. Also they're a bunch of weirdos that miss the good old days when men would get marched out of the house in their pyjamas and taken away at gun point."

"I can see that," Ranger said.

"So, your turn. Tell me what this means and what you know. And why you were trying to bug Dickie's office."


	51. Chapter 51-Can you make Joyce disappear?

I looked expectantly at Ranger. I wasn't sure why Lester was in his office trying to plant bugs around, but I was thinking it was going to be a good story. I wasn't quite prepared for what Ranger came out with though.

He looked reluctant. I guessed that Ranger wasn't used to sharing information. Or talking much in general. Probably he was using up his monthly allotment of words tonight and would resort to pointing and nodding for the rest of the month.

"I'm looking for a guy named Ziggy. His brother Zip works for me. Mostly in the office, not sure if you've met Zip. Ziggy disappeared a week ago, and Zip's instincts tell him that something is wrong. Ziggy's an accountant, works for a firm downtown. Devoted uncle to their sister's kids and didn't show up for dinner on Monday like usual. Ziggy's firm does the tax reports for Petiak, Smullen, Gorvich, and Orr. Every Monday, the partners hold a meeting offsite, and Ziggy was scheduled to attend. The last time anyone saw him, he was on his way to the meeting. The four partners swear Ziggy didn't show, but I don't believe it. Zip doesn't believe it."

"Oh no," I said, horrified. "I hadn't heard that he was missing."

"He's a grown man. Police don't suspect foul play. No reason to broadcast it."

"Why do you think the partners are lying?"

"There's something not right about the firm. Dickie has legitimate credentials and experience, but he's the only one. His partners have law degrees from Panama and didn't sit the bar test here. Right now, I can't tell if Dickie is dumb or dirty," Ranger told me. His eyes looked apologetic like he was breaking bad news. Sorry Stephanie, your husband is either dumb or dirty. Knowing Dickie, possibly both. What had he gotten himself into? I almost worried about him for a second there before I remembered about Joyce, and all the women before her. God, I was an idiot. How could I not see it? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Did the bugs work?" I asked Ranger.

"The meeting was cancelled. We listened until a little bit after ten, and then packed up. Nothing was happening except the sounds of Dickie typing and making phone calls."

"So you knew that he'd called me?"

"Yes. All except the last one."

"Did he call Joyce?"

Ranger hesitated before answering. "Do you really want to know, babe?"

"He called Joyce, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Bastard," I hissed. Ranger squeezed my hand.

"We weren't listening when Dickie disappeared and the bugs don't auto record. I was looking for Ziggy, and focusing on the other partners, not Dickie. The bugs are still there now, but the partners are being cautious since police were called in to investigate, and not talking in the office."

"So what now? How do we find Ziggy and Dickie?"

Ranger took a little plastic bag from his pocket. It contained what I suspected was another bug.

"Do you think you can plant this on Peter Smullen?" he asked me. My jaw dropped.

"You're not serious," I told him. "Why?"

"We need more information. I know that the partners are behind Ziggy's disappearance. I suspect he stumbled across something he shouldn't have. The partners panicked, and then either Dickie came across the same information after getting suspicious once Ziggy went missing, or he just got in the way. Either way, Smullen knows something and he's the only one that I know for sure is still in the country."

"I think the police think that I killed Dickie," I said to Ranger.

"Eddie doesn't, Morelli doesn't. Marty had to ask you were you were to rule you out. We can supply them with your video footage if they request and you agree. You never left your house, your alarm stayed set all night including external doors, you'll be fine." He picked up a file on the table beside him and handed it to me. "For tomorrow," he said.

I opened the file. There was a photo of Peter Smullen. I'd only met him a few times but recognised him easily. The file said that he was forty-six years old (I'd have guessed older – the beer gut and receding hair line wasn't doing him any favours), and was married with two adult children. His children and wife lived in Colombia and he kept a bachelor apartment in Hamilton Township. Ranger's file also contained Smullen's usual schedule. He hit Starbucks at 8am every morning before heading to the law firm, so I'd try and catch him at one of those locations.

It was late, but I wasn't tired thanks to my nap. I had a feeling that my body clock was going to be out of whack for a while yet. Maybe I'd stay up all night and convert to being a vampire.

"I'd better go so you can get some sleep," I said to Ranger.

"You can stay. I don't sleep a lot," he said. I looked at him. He had a five o'clock shadow, but otherwise looked alert. I hesitated – my husband was a lying, disappeared scumbag, but it still didn't feel right being alone in another man's apartment. But that was Dickie's manipulation, I told myself. There was nothing wrong with it. Ranger and I were just friends, and he was helping me out. And I'd be able to help him and Zip find Ziggy too.

I thought of all that I had to do and felt overwhelmed. I kept thinking of Dickie with other women and wanting to cry, then I'd flash back to the photo of him and Joyce and wanted to rage. I needed to stay angry. I'd had an STD test as part of the standard pregnancy planning that my doctor had recommended, so I knew that I was clear relatively recently, but I probably needed to go again. I sniffled and realised that tears were leaking out of my eyes. Ranger reached across and silently handed me a tissue.

"It'll be okay, babe," he told me softly. "I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend to you."

"Did you know that Dickie was cheating on me?"

"No. But I could have found out if I'd wanted to."

"Can you make Joyce disappear for me?"

"Yeah. But that's not going to solve your problems, babe. With Dickie, there will always be another Joyce."

"How do you know?" I sniffled and sat up straighter.

"I'm a man," he shrugged.

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?" I asked him.

"No. There wasn't a lot of opportunities out where I was. And I'm loyal. I was a shitty husband in many ways, but I was faithful to Rachel until our divorce. Then I went a bit wild. But I have nothing on Lester."

I perked up, sensing a story. Before I could ask, Ranger's phone rang. He glanced at the screen and seemed to shift into security mode.

"Report," he commanded. "Good work. We'll head there now." He hung up and looked at me. "There's a break in at your house. A team is on their way. We're heading to the control room downstairs."


	52. Chapter 52 - The break in

We headed down to the control room and over to the monitors. Two of the men on monitor duty kept watching the screens while Manny waved us down to a desk.

"Here boss," he said, with a nod to me as acknowledgement. He showed us video. It was brief – three men arriving, kicking my front door, and disappearing inside. "The alarm went off a few seconds later and we sent a team straight away, then checked the footage. We knew that Ms Plum was here and that Mr Orr is missing, so figured a team would be needed."

"Status?" Ranger asked.

"One minute out. It's been a busy night and they weren't nearby."

"That's five total."

"It's within our acceptable response time. We could have called the police but decided this was best handled by us," Manny said. He changed the view to a live view of both the front and back cameras.

Ranger's jaw tightened, but he nodded.

"Zero and Vince are there," Manny said, nodding to the screen. It showed the black SUV pulling up again, and Zero and Vince getting out. They had their guns drawn and moved cautiously. Another black SUV pulled behind them and two more Rangemen got out. "Lester and Hal," Manny added. Lester gestured and Zero and Vince disappeared, then reappeared a minute later at the back door. They all moved inside.

We waited. One minute, then two.

"Report," Ranger barked into a headset that I hadn't noticed he was wearing. Manny hit a button and Lester's voice came out of the speakers, sounding calm.

"We have three suspects. They were shooting, and they're not good shots. We've got one downstairs shot in the leg. Not sure if it was from us or them. Another unconscious. The last was upstairs and I caught him half out a window that he smashed open. He's cut his arm on the glass but that wasn't from us."

"Boss, police scanner is reporting it. Neighbours called in hearing gunshots. We should report into the police," Manny said.

"Agreed. Call Trenton PD and let them know," Ranger told him. "Lester, do any look like they're in the mood to talk?"

"The conscious ones might. The other one would be a bit harder."

"Witty. You've probably got three minutes until Trenton PD is there. Make them count," Ranger told him. "I'm on my way. I'll bring Steph to identify damage and see if we can work out what they were after."

"I'll package the video up for Trenton PD," Manny said. Ranger nodded and put a hand on my arm.

"Come on, babe, let's go see what these guys were up to," he told me. We went downstairs in the lift to the carpark in the basement and got into Ranger's Porsche 911. I loved this car.

"I love this car," I told Ranger.

"You can borrow it anytime you like," Ranger said to me. He held the door open for me, and then slid into the driver's seat. It was a short drive from Rangeman to my townhouse. I sighed as we approached. I had thought that I had a relatively happy life in this house until it became obvious that my husband was a disloyal faithless Joyce fucker. And all the others that I didn't know about. Who were they? Did I know any of them? Had he introduced me to them at work functions and I smiled, having no idea of what was really going on when he said he was working long hours?

"Babe," Ranger said softly. We were there.

"Sorry. Lost in thought," I told him. There were police cars already there, along with a few ambulances. I saw Robin Russell, Marty Gobel, and to my surprise, Morelli was there. I got out of the car and headed for him.

"Steph! Are you okay?" Morelli asked me.

"I didn't kill Dickie," I told Morelli.

"I know that. What a scumbag though."

"You're homicide, aren't you? Why are you here if you don't think that Dickie is dead?" I asked him. Then there was an awkward silence. Morelli said that he knew that I didn't kill Dickie, not that he wasn't dead. "Oh God, you haven't found?"

"No, no, Steph. We haven't found anything. I just got the callout because you're my sister-in-law. I wanted to make sure that you're all right. Geez, I'm making this worse."

Ranger walked up beside me and did some kind of testosterone filled head nod to Morelli, which Morelli returned.

"My men have handed over the intruders to the PD."

"We appreciate it. It's always good to know that Rangeman was on the scene," Morelli told him. "Steph, call me if you want to come and stay with us, okay? We can make room. I don't think you should stay here tonight. It's not safe."

"We have room at Rangeman," Ranger said. And what it my imagination, or did he step slightly closer to me when he said that? Bad Stephanie. Figure out where your loser faithless husband is, get cleared of suspicion of murdering him, then sort out your feelings for the friendly mercenary.

Feeling somewhat better now that I had a plan of action, I nodded to myself.

"Thanks Joe. I'll call if I need a place to stay but I'd prefer not to. I don't want to bring attention to you, Val and the girls. I don't know who these guys are, but I think we're all safer if I stay at Rangeman."

Joe kissed me on the head and then rejoined the group of police.

Hal was standing guard by my front door. He nodded to Ranger, then inside. I went inside, wondering what I would find.

"Concentrate on what looks different," Ranger said. "They only had five minutes in here. They probably knew what they were after."

"They said they were after a key," Lester said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Is all that blood yours?" Ranger asked him.

"I might have got shot in the leg. Just a little," Lester told us. I looked at his leg and saw that it was coated in blood.

"That'll learn you," Vince said. Zero nodded in agreement.

"Bejeebus," I said.

"Oh he's just showing off to get your sympathy. It just nicked him," Hal said, joining the group.

"Ladies like it when you're injured. You could learn something from me," Lester told Hal, then winked at me.

"Go get seen to," Ranger said, nodding towards the ambulances. "Abuela will never let me live it down if she finds out. Vince, give Steph the walk through."

"Ms Plum," Vince said, nodding to me. What was these guys and their nodding? "When we arrived there were three men in the house. One downstairs, two upstairs. The one downstairs looked like he was coming from the staircase as we entered. Downstairs looked untouched but you'll want to check cupboards and drawers. There were two upstairs. One broke your bedroom window trying to escape. We'll get a cleaning crew in for the blood. The other was in Dickie's office. It looks like they were focused on those rooms, and maybe your second office. You'll have to take a look and let us know."

As we walked up the stairs, I side stepped blood on the floor. "We'll have the floors as good as new, I promise," Vince told me.

"What happened?"

"Honestly, I think they panicked and one shot the other in the leg while aiming for us."

While the downstairs looked untouched, upstairs was a different matter. Dickie's office, which he always kept immaculate, looked trashed. I didn't know there was so much paper tucked away in his drawers, but it was all upended on the floor. Everything on his desk had been thrown on to the ground. There was a lot of damage done for only five minutes.

"One of them said that they were sent here to look for Dickie, and if they couldn't find Dickie, to look for a key. Or a keycard. He was willing to talk but a little vague on the details."

"Like a swipe card?"

"Maybe. Like I said, vague on the details."

"Dickie had a swipe card for work but it would have been on him when he disappeared."

"It might have been something else. Have a look and see if you can spot anything missing," Vince said. I sighed. The room was so messed up it was impossible to tell. I told Vince that and we moved to the bedroom. There was glass over the floor, and the drawers pulled out from the bedside table. The framed photo of Dickie and me that was taken on our honeymoon was smashed on the floor beside the bed.

"It looks like they broke the frame on purpose. Might have been looking for something hidden behind the photo."

"I don't think there's anything missing in here," I told Vince.

"Not from the wardrobe either? Are any of Dickie's clothes missing?"

"No, I burnt most of them," I said. Vince blinked. Apparently Hector had been discreet with the clothes burning and hadn't shared that information around the office.

"Anything from your side?"

"No, that's normal."

I took a second look in the office but I had no idea if anything was missing.

"I can't tell you anything useful," I told Vince.

"That's okay. Have a look around the rest of the house and see if anything looks different," he told me. I looked in my office and the guest bedroom and bathroom but only Dickie's office and our bedroom looked different.

Ranger came upstairs.

"Nothing obviously gone," Vince told him. "I'll go organise to secure the broken window."

"We'll get the window fixed before you come home," Ranger told me.

I went into my room, pulled out a suitcase and tossed clothes and toiletries in. I was probably over packing but I wanted to be prepared for anything. Like a boy scout, but not. I sighed as I zipped up my suitcase.

"Ready?" Ranger asked me.

"Let's go."


	53. Chapter 53 - Super spy Steph

There were still police outside the house, and Hal was talking with them. Lester was getting out of the ambulance with his leg bandaged.

"Vince will stay here until the glass gets fixed," Ranger told me.

"Won't that take a while?"

"We know a guy. He'll be here soon."

"Thanks Vince," I told him.

"All part of the service," Vince said.

Ranger nodded to his men, and I waved, and we got into Ranger's car. We drove in silence until the garage door opened to the underground carpark underneath Rangeman.

"Are you sure you have room for me?" I asked him.

"I do, but Ella is insisting that you stay with her again."

I felt a bit cheered at that news. I knew that Ella would feed me special treats, and quite frankly, staying the night at Ranger's with him there was a bit scary for me. I might accidentally throw myself at him. And I didn't want to stay alone in one of his staff apartments. I stretched and yawned. I was still yawning when the elevator doors opened on to Level 6 and Ranger escorted me out and knocked on the apartment door.

Ella opened the door immediately.

"Oh Stephanie! Come in, you must be exhausted," she said, ushering me inside. Ranger slipped back into the elevator before the doors closed and disappeared behind them.

* * *

I was exhausted and slept late, waking around eight o'clock. I dressed, showered and went in search of coffee. Ella and Luis were at work already and I didn't want to help myself to their kitchen, so I headed to Level 5 where I knew there was always food (although healthy) and coffee.

I waved to the guys in the control room as I walked through. The break room was quiet, with the breakfast rush over. I helped myself to a muffin and poured a coffee and sat down at a break room table. A Rangeman who I hadn't met before came in. This one was medium height, and didn't look like he'd been in the military, which probably meant he was some kind of sneaky special force and could kill with his pinky. He was cute though.

"Hi I'm Zip. You must be Miss Plum," he said, extending his hand out to me.

"Call me Stephanie," I told him. "I'm sorry to hear that your brother is missing."

"Thank you. The same to you on your husband. Rangeman is looking and I'm sure that they'll find them. We're the best at what we do," he told me. He poured a coffee, and then headed back to his desk.

I thought about what he had said. Rangeman might be the best at what they do, but I had Burg gossip knowledge and sneaky skills and stubborness on my side. I was sure that I could find out some information that Ranger didn't have and contribute to the search. After all, how was I going to kick Dickie to the curb if he simply just disappeared?

I borrowed a notebook and pen from the stationary cabinet and sat down and started writing. It was time to make a plan. I starting writing down all the information that I knew. I lost track of time and was startled to look up and see Ranger in front of me.

"Are you ready to visit Smullen?"

"Yes. I need to find out more information and that's the best way to do it, right? We need to find Ziggy and Dickie."

"We've missed him at Starbucks this morning. Are you comfortable going to the office?"

"What about if I say I'm looking for our insurance details and I couldn't find them at home? And ask to have a look in Dickie's office?"

"If you can get on to a computer, put this USB drive in and run the program. That will give us access to their server," Ranger said, passing me a USB drive. I slipped it into my pocket.

"Let's go."

Ranger dropped me off down the street from the building. I had the USB in my pocket, along with a listening device that I was meant to slip into Smullen's jacket pocket if I got a chance.

Dickie's secretary Cynthia was sitting out on reception. I guess there wasn't a lot for her to do with her boss disappeared and all.

"Ms Plum!" she said, jumping up when she saw me.

"Cynthia. It's so good to see you," I told her. It actually was. This was going to go a lot easier with Cynthia here.

"What are you doing here? Is there any news on Mr Orr?"

"None at all," I told her. I managed to produce a sniffle. It wasn't hard. The last few days had left me an emotional wreck. "And to top it off, our house was broken into last night." Now I had tears to add to my sniffle. "Four men broken into the house and ransacked the house and broke windows and… and… Dickie is still missing!"

Cynthia passed me a tissue, and looked around for help. Peter Smullen appeared out of his office.

"Stephanie?"

"Oh, Peter! I'm so sorry to make a scene like this." The last time that I was in here I made a bit of a scene too. That one was probably worse.

"That's okay, Stephanie. Um, do you want a glass of water?"

"Thank you. I'm so sorry. I was looking for some paperwork and just couldn't find it and was wondering if Dickie might have kept it at work."

"What sort of paperwork?"

"Oh I'm so sorry, it's so embarrassing. Do you mind if we discuss this somewhere private?" I asked him. He gestured into his office. Bingo. Now to hope that a crying female completely throws him.

"Have you got news about Dickie?" he asked me.

"No. I haven't heard anything. The police don't have any clues. And then to make it worse, four men broken into our house last night. My security company was right nearby so they managed to scare them off and I don't think they took anything but the house is a mess and I need to file a claim with our insurance company because of the damage, and – this is so embarrassing – Dickie handled all that, and I can't find any of the paperwork at home. I thought that maybe he kept important papers at work? Is it possible for me to have a look through his files?"

Smullen looked uncomfortable at that. "Well the files contain confidential information so…"

"Oh dear," I said, clutching the tissue to my eyes again, like I would burst into tears at any second.

"I'll ask Cynthia if she can check the files. She should know if Dickie kept any personal information in there," he said quickly. He left the room, and I got up. Fingers crossed there weren't any cameras in the room watching me. His computer had been left unlocked, so I inserted the USB drive, and let it do its thing, crossing my fingers it would be as quick as Ranger said. This would have been much easier to explain if I was caught on Dickie's computer. I pulled the drive out, and pulled out another tissue from the box on Smullen's desk and wandered over to stare out the window.

Dickie. Joyce. Damn Joyce. She always had it in for me. There was a lot of gossip in the Burg about Joyce, but she wasn't known for going for married men. Maybe she'd made an exception just to torture me.

Peter came back in, holding a glass of water which he handed to me. "Cynthia is just having a look now but she couldn't remember seeing any personal files in Dickie's office before."

"Thank you for looking. I didn't know what else to do," I said.

"That's quite all right. I was meaning to call and check in on you anyway. This must be hard for you," he said. All his sympathy was actually making it hard for me not to cry. This was hard for me. First I saw a photo of my husband boinking Joyce (Joyce!), then he confessed, it wasn't just Joyce, it was multiple others, than he got himself kidnapped, then the police wanted to interview me over his potential murder, then armed men broke into my house and got shot and bled everywhere and I had no idea why. Now I was crying for real and it was threatening to turn into hysterial sobbing. I put the glass of water down and grabbed another tissue.

"I just need to get Dickie home," I sobbed. Peter stood close to me, awkwardly, and patted my back.

"I'm sure the police will find him," he said. I turned to face him and touched his arm.

"Thank you for being so kind," I said as I dropped one of Ranger's bugs into his pocket. Cynthia appeared at the doorway.

"I'm sorry Ms Plum, I couldn't find any of your insurance paperwork in Mr Orr's office," she said.

"Oh. Well thank you for looking Cynthia."

"But I did find this information for his insurance broker. If your house insurance was through them, they would the details," she said. I already knew all this, but I reached out and took the information from her, thanking her.

I told Peter that I'd keep him updated with any information on Dickie, and then left the office.

Time for stage two of my plan: Joyce.


	54. Chapter 54 - Confronting Joyce

_Thank you everyone for your patience. For Mother's Day I got time alone to work on this story! Hope you enjoy it._

* * *

I left Dickie's office and walked three streets away before a black SUV glided to a stop beside me, and I hopped in.

"Nice work. The bug is transmitting loud and clear," Ranger told me.

"Great. I'm just glad I'm not the one having to listen to all the conversations," I said.

We drove back to Rangeman and went to Ranger's office on Level 5, grabbing sandwiches from the kitchen on the way. I loved Ella's sandwiches. She went to much more effort than I did when I made a sandwich. I counted adding olives to peanut butter as a gourmet touch. Ella started with fresh rolls delivered from a local bakery, deli meats and cheese from the fancy deli and fresh salads. I could feel my mouth start to water just looking at the sandwich.

"I wish someone looked at me the way that Steph looks at a sandwich," Lester said.

"A little slow in the action department lately?" Hal asked him.

"No, plenty of action, but still no one is looking at me like Steph is looking at her sandwich," he said. Ranger shot them a look and they both turned around to their desk and pretended to be working. I looked at my sandwich again. It was a fine sandwich. It would improve with a few chips on the side. And maybe a pickle.

We sat down in Ranger's office and I took a few bites of the sandwich, mulling over my thoughts from earlier in the day.

"I had a realisation when I was talking to Peter Smullen."

Ranger inclined his head toward me. I took that as an indication to keep talking.

"Joyce doesn't fit in this," I told Ranger.

"Babe?"

"Joyce is a man hunter. She trades up husbands. Her third was a wealthy, slightly older man and left her with a nice house, expensive car and mostly importantly, expensive alimony. So why was she after Dickie? He makes decent money, but it wouldn't be as much as her last husband. He has political aspirations, but not with Joyce on board and the divorce we're about to have. So how does Joyce fit in?"

"Hmmm."

"I mean, she hates me, but not enough to give up money over it. She's petty, but she's not stupid."

"What are you thinking?" Ranger asked me.

"You said the other night that you didn't know whether Dickie was dumb or dirty. Dickie isn't dumb. Joyce isn't either. That leaves Dickie being dirty, Joyce knowing more than we do, and me being the idiot who had no idea what was going on."

Ranger reached across to squeeze my hand. "You're not an idiot, Stephanie. Dickie was hiding this from you."

"I should have known that something was happening. But anyway, the point is that Joyce knows more than I do on this one. And while I really want to pummel her into the ground, I really need to find Dickie. So I've got to go and visit Joyce."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. Joyce is a gossiper and she'll tell everyone that I was the one cheating if I show up with you. I'll see if Mary Lou will come with me."

"Take Hal. Your husband was kidnapped and your house was broken into. It's better to be cautious."

"I don't need a babysitter."

"He's not a babysitter. He's a bodyguard. We don't need your disappearing like Ziggy and Dickie."

The mention of Zip's brother made me agree. Dickie seemed dirtier by the minute but there seemed to be no reason for Ziggy to have disappeared.

"Okay but Mary Lou will be disappointed it's not Lester with me. She likes her eye candy," I told Ranger. I could tell that he was thinking about smiling.

Mary Lou was keeping the office running for me and I really needed to start working properly again. I sighed.

"I need to find Dickie but I also need to keep my business running. Mary Lou is keeping things running for me, but she's only part-time, and only until the baby arrives," I told Ranger.

Ranger went to tell Hal that he was on Stephanie duty while I packed a few more snacks from the lunchroom into my bag.

Hal wouldn't let me drive, saying that it was company policy that only employees drove Rangeman vehicles. I'd driven Ranger's Porsche so I knew that wasn't true, but I decided that I could get used to being driven around as Hal drove us over to Plum Lingerie. Mary Lou gave me a hug, ran her eyes over Hal, and put me to work while I updated her on all that had been happening, including my suspicions over what Joyce was really up to.

"We should find out what she is up to. Let's go and grill her," Mary Lou said.

"Ugh. I know. But I really don't want to talk to her. I can't get that image of her and Dickie out of my brain."

"Dickie's a horrible cheater. You're better off without him," Mary Lou told me.

"I guess so."

"In fact, Joyce might have done you a favour," Mary Lou said.

"Geez Mare, let's not go that far."

"Fair call. Too far. All right, let's go," Mary Lou said, putting down her paperwork and waddling over to her handbag. Mary Lou was due any day now. I'd asked her if she needed to stop working but she claimed that I couldn't do it without her (fair enough) and also that working was the best part of her week. She said it was quiet, she could go to the toilet without anyone following her, eat her lunch without having to share, and that she took frequent naps in her office chair. I'd been so distracted over the last week that I'd stopped arguing with her and been grateful for her being there.

Hal drove us to Joyce's house, and Mary Lou followed in the minivan. She had to pick the boys up soon and planned to go straight home from Joyce's house. The house was one that she'd gotten in her settlement with her third husband and it was huge. It was in a fancy neighbourhood, in a fancier town than the Burg, and had rose bushes and columns out the front. There was an expanse of lawn leading up to the front door. It looked three times bigger than my townhouse. You could fit about five Burg families into this house.

"I would kill for a yard like this," Mary Lou said.

"Be my guest," I said, gesturing to the house.

"We should probably get information out of Joyce first," she told me.

"Yeah, but if we kill her after, then Hal can dispose of the body for us, right, Hal?" I asked him. He coughed and shifted, looking at his feet. He seemed to be considering where disposing of evidence of a crime fell in the "keep an eye on Ms Plum" part of his instructions.

Mary Lou and I stopped admiring the house and walked up to the front door. I knew that Joyce was home because of the red convertible in the driveway and also because I could smell sulphur which meant that she was nearby.

"Oh," Joyce said when she opened the door. "Well if it isn't dumb and dumber."

"Nice to see you too, Joyce," Mary Lou said.

"It really isn't," I told her.

"Stephanie. Why are you here? Have you come to confess to killing Dickie?" Joyce asked me.

"Have I come too….?" I saw red. Joyce had been a pain my behind my entire life but she'd out done herself this time. She'd broken up my marriage, and now she was trying to pin the blame for Dickie's disappearance on me? "Dickie isn't dead, Joyce! I'm trying to find him," I told her.

"Whatever, Stephanie. We all know that you killed him. You got greedy and killed him for his money."

"I didn't kill him, Joyce! Stop telling people that. He disappeared after we had a fight because he was cheating on me. WITH YOU!" I yelled at her. Hal shifted nervously. I wondered what Hal would do when this fight between Joyce and I turned physical. She scoffed at me and that nearly sent me over the edge.

"What do you want with Dickie, anyway? He's not going to have any money left after our divorce."

"Oh Stephanie, you really are a naïve little idiot," Joyce told me.

"What? Joyce you have to tell me everything that you know. I need to know so that I can find Dickie," I told her.

"I'm not telling you anything, Stephanie Plum. You need to keep your nose out of it. This is my investment, not yours, and it's about to pay off."

I took a deep breath and was about to start yelling at Joyce when I heard Mary Lou gasp.

"Mare? What's wrong?" I asked her. Everything looked okay.

"I think my waters just broke," Mary Lou told me.

"Oh shit," I said as fluid gushed down Mary Lou's legs and on to the floor. Hal took one look and his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out. I managed to catch him on the way down except he is as heavy as a tank so it was more that I slowed his fall on his way down.

"Stephanie!" I heard an angry voice behind me. Ugh. I'd recognise that awful whine anywhere, even underwater. It was Joyce.

"What?" I snapped at her.

"What is this on my carpet? Is that going to come out?"

"Nope," Mary Lou said cheerfully. "We got it in our car with Kenny. You're probably going to need new carpet, Joyce."

"Shut up, Joyce! Mary Lou, what do we do? Do I call an ambulance?"

"No, we usually have plenty of – ah. Argh," she said, making a groaning noise.

"What? What?"

"I think this baby is coming faster than the others. You'd better call Lenny," she said. I looked for my phone, then remembered that Mary Lou and I had both left our bags in the cars.

"Joyce, I need your phone. And a phone book. I've got to call Lenny."

Joyce waved me over to a small table in the corner of the room which looked like it was used as a desk. I opened the drawer to find a phone book, found the listing for Lenny's plumbing businesses and dialled up.

"Mary Lou, can you at least move on to the tiles?" I heard Joyce ask her.

"No!"

"Oh for crying out loud. I only redecorated last year. I'm calling my carpet cleaner," Joyce said.

I got hold of Lenny and told him what was happening. He told me that he would be there in five minutes, and to tell Mary Lou to breathe. I figured that Mare had it all worked out after the two previous babies and that I didn't need to give her any advice. She also seemed to be enjoying herself by annoying Joyce in between contractions. I decided that I'd better phone Ranger and let him know that Hal was out of action.

While I was on the phone to Rangeman and giving Zero the update, I saw a scribbled note in Joyce's drawer.

"Stephanie? Is everything okay?" Zero asked.

"Uh, yeah. Just a bit hectic here. I'm probably going to need help getting Hal off the floor. He's coming around but looks a bit woozy," I told him. He said that someone was on their way and would be there soon. I grabbed the note and shoved it into my pocket without Joyce seeing. It was in Dickie's writing. There were two nine digit numbers and Dickie's social security number written across the bottom. The knowledge that Dickie had likely been in Joyce's house made me want to crash tackle her across the room, but the noise that Mary Lou was making reminded me that I needed to focus on her at this point.

"Stephanie! My hospital bag is in the minivan! You need to get the bag!" Mary Lou told me.

"I'll get it when Lenny gets here," I told her. Rangeman arrived first to scoop Hal off the ground. Bobby and Lester came, and Bobby checked Hal over. I also noticed that Joyce was doing her own version of checking Bobby and Lester over.

"I'm in need of a new security system," she told them. I rolled my eyes.

"Puh-lease!" I said.

"What? I am. It can be hard to be a single woman in a neighbourhood like this. Alone. Vulnerable. Lonely."

"Lonely? A few days ago you were shagging my husband!" I yelled.

"Focus back on me!" Mary Lou yelled.

"Sorry, Mare," I told her.

Lenny pulled his work van up outside and between Lenny, Bobby and Lester they decided to put Mary Lou into the minivan, and for Bobby to drive Lenny's work van home. I gave Mary Lou a hug and wished her good luck and told her that I would visit as soon as she was ready. Lester picked Hal up off the ground, and Joyce slipped her card into Lester's pocket, and then Hal's as well. Joyce slammed the door behind us as we all left.

I slipped into the backseat behind Lester, and we followed Bobby back to Mary Lou's house. Bobby handed me the keys to drop off later, and we headed back to Rangeman.


End file.
